[SSHP] End of life

The rain didn't last long.By the time Harry and Snape walked out of the house carrying the suitcase, the rain had stopped and the sky was still overcast.Ben didn't show up. There were some werewolves moving along the way. They were obviously more enthusiastic and waved at them with familiar faces.

Two hours later, they climbed to the top of the mountain.After just five minutes, they threw the boulder out of sight.Harry looked away from the rearview mirror and to the sky.In late autumn—or it can be said that the sky in early winter is gray and blue, not as clear as it has just rained, nor can it be said to be dirty.Harry could only see thick forest, but he guessed their backs were towards the sea.They bumped and zigzag under the thick clouds that came from the sea, and Harry saw the edges of the clouds, gilded by the dim sunlight in the distance.

After more than an hour, they left the cloud cover.It seems to have broken away from an invisible boundary, beyond which it is still noon.The long-lost sunlight made the world instantly bright and dark. Harry turned his head to look at the trees beside the road. The side receiving the light was dazzlingly bright, while the other side was thickly black.Snape frowned slightly because of the strong light, Harry glanced at him, his inky pupils were still very pure black under the light.The man blinked, his eyelashes not particularly short, nor shockingly long.

Overall, the eyes were the best part of Snape's face.That's not to say that the rest of his face isn't good-looking, in fact he's exceptionally good-looking and kind of classically sexy, but his eyes stand out the most among his features.They were deep and beautiful, and there was something fatal about them, especially when he was looking at something.

Harry found himself never paying attention to the details of Snape's appearance before.He guessed maybe even Dumbledore, and everyone else alive.For a split second Harry wanted to laugh: he thought Snape was a gift hidden under a dangerous-looking old broken wall in the dark Forbidden Forest.A large, solid, heavy, moss-covered wooden box.Or iron.

He turned his head back, pretending to be looking at the trees that slowly appeared and then disappeared in front of him diagonally, but he was secretly observing the man driving.Snape didn't pull down the shade, and still squinted his eyes slightly, his black eyebrows were gilded and looked furry.

His nose is really big.If he had been a Muggle, the fights in his troubled life would have broken his nose at least a dozen times, and it would be crooked by now.Fortunately, Snape was a wizard. From the front, his nose was still straight.Sometimes wizards are indeed more convenient than Muggles - such as Snape's nose and Hermione's front teeth.

Staring at the nose, Harry thought it looked like a gun barrel.He imagined Snape absorbing the light with his face or his greasy hair and gathering it into a beam, and with the blessing of his aggressive, wicked sense of humor, shooting that beam out the tip of his huge nose, all at once. Penetrate Voldemort's body.He imagined Voldemort's disbelief before he died, and the more he thought about it, the more amusing he was.

"What's stuck on my face, Potter?"

The sudden question interrupted Harry's reverie.The voice was as cold as the surface of a frozen lake on a snowy night.

Harry was taken aback.He found himself giggling at the excesses of his fantasies.They were still bumping on the mountain road, and in the distance Harry could see what seemed to be a road, glinting in the sun.Snape was still looking ahead, he opened his mouth slightly, and made a mouth shape that he couldn't tell whether he was inhaling or speaking.Harry knew he'd do it every time he was about to attack or swallow something.

"Nothing, I was just looking at you," Harry replied.He understood that Snape's bottom line was far more than that, and began to stare at Snape's face openly.Snape took a breath, gritted his teeth visibly, but said nothing.He drove stiffly under Harry's gaze, growing more irritable as the hours passed.

"Listen to the radio," said Harry, who was quite aware that Snape's endurance had reached a breaking point. "There should be a signal here. When I'm not at school, I always listen to the Muggle radio."

"As you please, Mr Potter," said Snape in a very sharp voice.Harry had always wondered how he managed to make that low, velvety voice sound so thin and sharp.

The temperature outside is neither too high nor too low.The speed of the car was not fast, and Harry rolled down the window.Next to them, an unknown animal quickly overtook their car and disappeared into the grass.

Harry leaned forward, tossing the radio with one hand.He deliberately used the hand near the door so he could be closer to Snape.After a rustling of snowflakes, the car's old stereo finally started to work.Harry turned the knob and could only get one station.This FM seems to be specifically for long-distance travellers, who happen to hear the end of the previous song.The music that sounded next was not rock and roll, but soothing.Harry turned up the volume, and the singing quickly drifted into the wind.

He hummed unconsciously.

"It's a song that keeps my heart going," he said. "I was -- last time, we were in the Forest of Dean, and it was snowing. The three of us heard it on the radio. It's the theme song from Titanic." , a movie, and the director's name is James." Realizing that Snape might hate the name, he hurriedly changed the subject: "The director is a Muggle—"

"I know what a director is, Potter." Snape glanced at Harry, and his voice showed that he really had doubts about certain areas of Harry's brain, "If I'm not mistaken, Miss Granger who knows everything I have checked my family tree thoroughly. I have to say that being friends with her is the time you know your IQ most clearly. After being away from a good friend for a long time, the savior Potter finally lost his memory?"

Harry was silent for a few seconds before turning on the radio.He leaned his head back in the chair and began to sing other songs aloud in fits and starts, relying on his already hazy memory.He still remembers the last trip in exile in the seventh grade very clearly. They made an agreement to go to the movies together after the dust settled, but until now these movies that represent peace still haven't been shown in his time.He was just trying to get revenge on Snape, and as he sang, more emotion and sadness that existed at the time returned to his body along with the melody.He trembled unconsciously.

Snape remained silent.The last time the car bumped, it almost jumped off a small gentle slope.It took them around a turn and finally came to the road.

Snape pulled the car over to the side of the road, and he glanced at Harry without the distress Harry had expected. "We can go another few hundred kilometers before it's completely dark." He got out of the car and looked up slightly to observe the sun that was no longer so bright. "Just finish the late lunch as soon as possible now."

Harry slammed open the door and jumped out of the car too.The door didn't get a little more sensitive with use, nor did it get any worse.Snape took out two cans, and shoved a cold tin and spoon into Harry's hands. "Here's this," he said. "I need to find a can opener."

"It's too cold." Harry complained. "Can't we walk less today? Give a little more time to lunch. If this continues, we may not reach our destination in time, and we will perforate our stomachs and die."

"It's amazing how much cold food you've had over the years?" Snape said sarcastically, his words hard and stern, "if this month's life has turned your stomach back to the state of food and clothing, then Just get over it."

"But it's not just cold. It's going to freeze."

"Maybe there will be a little hot water at night." Snape replied indifferently, "Eat now or be hungry."

"Okay," Harry muttered, "I can warm it up myself. Igni—"

"Stop, Potter!"

Snape's snarl was accompanied by a terrible sense of powerlessness.Harry went limp for what seemed like a fraction of a millisecond, so fast that he didn't know how it all happened, his knees smashing to the ground with all his weight on them.He could feel them hitting the hard pavement, making a crisp crunching sound.

But they don't.Harry lifted his head with all his might, his neck too weak to support his probably tonne head.He was in Snape's arms, with one hand wrapped tightly around his waist and another on his back.Snape looked as surprised as Harry guessed he might be showing himself.

Then Harry heard the sound.The sound of his own spoon dropping, the sound of Snape's spoon dropping.It's hard to say who comes first.Two iron cans rolled on the ground.Judging by the sound, it may have rolled under the car.

"I—what——" Harry said with difficulty, and if he just listened to the voice, he thought he was dying.His answer was Snape's anger, which he hadn't felt in a long time.

"Why do you think wizards are stronger and live longer than Muggles? Magic is the source of life for wizards! You are overdrawing your life!" Snape growled, "How on earth did you survive until now? Try it yourself Every danger, without any prior knowledge of what that danger is!"

"For Merlin's sake - Severus - it was just a heating spell -"

"Your magic is not strong enough for you to use this spell!"

"But how do I know when I can use which spell?"

"Do you know what step by step is, Potter?" Snape exhaled softly, and the anger in his voice gradually subsided, turning into the gentle and even mildly pleasant sarcasm that Harry had grown used to over the past two years, haha Leigh liked the way he said, "That's why we don't make you face Boggarts in first year when we're working on lesson plans."

Harry rested his head on Snape's neck.He has grown taller. "You asked me about the water of life and death in the first class."

"Potions lessons don't need to be gradual for you. It doesn't make sense to you." Snape replied in a low voice, as Harry gave up supporting his head, he moved the hand supporting Harry's back upwards Nuo, "Even if you live to be a hundred years old, you still won't be able to make a first-grade potion."

The voice was close to Harry's ear.Harry let out a muffled laugh from his chest. "What do we do now?" he asked. "You might have to stuff me back in the car. Or you'd be willing to hold me up a little longer—look, I can talk now. It's going to be quick."

"I've changed my mind, Potter." The slight exasperation in Snape's voice returned. "I've got to observe you for a few days. You won't have any strength for a few days. I'll have to see if you will." More severe side effects or after effects. You need to be still. We're wasting more time because of your stupid recklessness. And since you lost your life and wanted something less cold, I'll have to take you to the nearest motel."

"If you're willing to spend half an hour building a fire in the first place, we won't be wasting the next few days," Harry muttered, Snape's collar in front of his eyes, staring at Snape's collarbone.

"Can you still raise your hand?" Snape said.

"No." Harry replied flatly.He moved tentatively, as if the nerves were not his own.

"Fine," Snape muttered indistinctly, bending down and lifting Harry up into his arms.

Snape's hair grazed the tip of Harry's nose as he was placed in the passenger seat.His hair wasn't greasy at all because he wasn't boiling the potion anymore, and it smelled of their shared shampoo. "There's a hawk over there, watching you from behind," said Harry. "I think that's our reply."

Snape held out his hand, and the eagle held out a talon to him.He opened the letter and snorted.But his expression softened visibly.

"What did the letter say?" Harry asked curiously.

Snape stood between Harry and the car door, with one hand propped on the roof and the letter in the other.He read the letter with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Dumbledore said that the giants are migrating. Every year when winter comes they go to a place where they are more likely to live. This winter came early and they have already begun to move. We must wait for their migration to end."

"Oh." Harry said happily.The shadow of Snape's shoulders and arms hung over him, and he moved his head towards Snape, feeling safe.

"Don't think you can hide in a hotel and stay still." Snape snorted coldly, he looked away from the little parchment and glanced at Harry, "The migration of giants always has a general direction , heading northeast every year. If it is confirmed that you are fine, we must continue on the road." He paused, and said with a little resentment: "The savior can be willful. Luck is always on your side."

"Northeast?" Harry decided to ignore Snape's dissatisfaction with his luck, "How can people hide there?"

"Do you think the only world maps are the ones you see from Muggles?" Snape sneered. "You don't even pass common sense."

"I'm already skeptical," Harry said back. "The mountains of Wales extend too far out to sea—"

"Not much, Potter," said Snape, "Basically still based on Muggle maps..."

Harry listened, and he was beginning to think that Hermione liked the way Snape lectured was not so scary.And if he found himself liking it that way now, it wouldn't be so scary either.But Snape didn't continue, he simply folded the letter and closed Harry's car door.Not closing it all at once, he pulled the door open and closed it again.

When it was getting dark in the afternoon, they found a dilapidated motel on the side of the road.It was more like a family hotel, and the owner was an elderly bald man, whose skin was red from the sun of the past summer.While he was instructing the two men to park the car in a nearby open space, the car bumped over a small rock, making the ominous sound that every bump along the way makes.Harry caught Snape frowning, and he had obviously noticed the noise too.

It took them a while to get settled until dinner.After eating the hot soup and bread, Harry finally felt some strength.He used his little recovered strength to walk into the bathroom, and when he touched the hot water spraying down, he couldn't help letting out a satisfied groan.

He pushed the rickety plastic stool in his room into the bathroom and spent half an hour cleaning himself.Then he changed into his pajamas, sat on the edge of the bed gathering strength, and a moment later he went out and knocked on Snape's door.

Snape opened the door halfway.He was wearing a bathrobe and had clearly enjoyed his long-lost shower.He stood in the doorway, clutching the handle with one hand and resting the other on the door frame, making every effort to keep Harry out.Harry peered in through the gap between his arms and his body, his mug steaming on the bedside table, a book spread out on one side of the bed.

"Do you have to make me stand outside the door like a fool, Severus? I'm out of strength," said Harry, putting his hand tentatively on the door.

"I didn't ask you to stand at my door," Snape said, but moved aside.

Harry slipped in, heading straight for Snape's bed.When he walked over, he found that there were signs of someone sitting on one side of the bed. He pulled the quilt on the other side and got in.

"It seems that the past few nights have quickly formed a bad habit for you." Snape closed the door, standing by the door and said dryly.

"I don't think so," Harry demanded. "Where's my tea? It's nice being with you, and I won't deny that."

Snape's gaze immediately shifted into a menacing stare, but he soon found that it didn't work on Harry.He gave up his threatening gaze, but said coldly: "No tea, Potter."

"Well," said Harry, "I still don't think it's a good idea to have two rooms. If there were Death Eaters attacking in the middle of the night, we'd be safer in separate rooms than together."

Snape came over and sat down on a different colored stool from Harry's in front of the bed. "Tell me why you are here," he said impatiently.

"No purpose," said Harry, "I'm just not used to not being with you—"

"If you continue to say this kind of useless talk, you're welcome to get out, Mr Potter," said Snape.He grabbed his teacup and took a sip.

Harry stared longingly at Snape's teacup for a moment before looking away. "Okay. I'll be honest... I had a lot of flashbacks to the last 1997 today. I haven't felt so scared in a long time, and I thought maybe being with you would reassure me," he said, adding that The last sentence, "Otherwise I have a premonition that I will have a nightmare today." He said, watching Snape's expression carefully.

Snape sighed exaggeratedly, and thumped the cup back on the nightstand. "It's the hesitation of the savior again, huh? After you saved that dog, saved Dumbledore, Longbottom and more, convinced the werewolves, and pushed me and the Malfoys into this situation— You want to say that you are not confident, you are afraid of losing, you are afraid of casualties in the war? Just because you recalled the last year in 1997?" He paused and leaned forward, "If you can put your overly sensitive Emotions are employed in thinking about danger and every move, and you are at least no more intolerable than you are now."

"Thank you for the compliment, but I really can't do better for the time being." Harry said listlessly, "I don't need your explanation, bad moods come from time to time—I think you've seen enough in the past three years Much, today can't be any worse than those days. I'm going to come out on my own, right now I just want to be by your side for a while. Can't you just ignore me and go about your own thing?"

For a brief moment, Snape said nothing.He took another sip from the teacup that had just been put back on the bedside table.

It was a while before Harry realized that Snape knew he had something to say.He wasn't surprised by the man's sensitivity, and at the same time felt that he was indeed as oversensitive as he said, repeatedly.This made it even more difficult for him to speak.

He quickly recalled Dumbledore's words.Being afraid doesn't mean being unsteady, he just needs to be honest. "I'm just afraid of death. I'm afraid that after everything I've done, I still have to die." He covered his face and said, "I thought I didn't care about my own life or death, at least not really that scared. I thought I just had to watch everyone die. By surviving, my goal of doing it all over again has been achieved. But I don’t want to die now. I’m more afraid of death than last time.”

"I told you, you wouldn't—"

"Don't make promises that you're not sure about! You gave me a potion for a year, but it still hasn't taken away the soul tablet." Harry interrupted, "I don't believe in prophecies that much, if all you do The guarantee is only based on prophecy, so I can also say that one of the two will live, and after killing the mysterious person, the one who survives will soon die due to other reasons."

"You can choose to make a portrait of yourself. You will be admired," said Snape dryly. "You can follow every passing student in the hallway like a stupid wild dog, talking Your great deeds, how you heroically broke every school rule, how you made others go to great lengths to protect you, how you defeated the Dark Lord or was killed by the Dark Lord-if it is the latter, then your portrait may have to be It’s a different mode of existence.”

"If it's just a fear of death, it's a good idea." Harry hugged his knee, thinking he would be silly if he said he was afraid of pain. There's always been a form of what." He was silent for a moment, then whispered a little sadly, "I'm just greedy. I don't want to lose you, I don't want to be far away from your life. I don't want to suddenly find out where I am when I die. , Then I will be confined in a small space, every day all the scenes and all the things are repeated, I have nothing to do, no deadline to wait. No one can hurt me, and I can’t touch anyone, My time stops flowing, but others continue. I can only watch everyone around me come and go, being remembered and forgotten, never getting rid of it, that is the most terrible thing in the world Things... so I never understood why the mysterious man wanted to pursue eternal life. Immortal life means eternal pain, doesn't it?"

"That's the difference between you, Potter," said Snape quietly, without anger or flinching at the negativity in Harry's tone, "he doesn't understand love - tsk, what a damn word —so he doesn't know loneliness, nor is he afraid of them."

"But I'm afraid," Harry whispered, encouraged by Snape's reaction, "If a Gryffindor loses courage..." He didn't finish.

"Gryffindor's arrogant misunderstanding of the word courage." Snape commented, he seemed to be finally planning to have a real conversation with Harry, "True courage is not never being afraid, but insisting on doing what should be done despite being afraid." doing."

Harry rested his chin on his knees and stared at Snape silently for a moment.

"What about you, Severus?" he asked. "I mean, don't you still want to live after it's over?"

"I've had enough of the damned world," said Snape, evading the most poignant parts of the subject, "to think that death is the way to go when I've had enough of the trouble you bastards have given me. It makes me feel very at ease." He glanced at Harry, "I have to be very surprised that there is a Potter who thinks the same as me on this matter."

"You know." Harry didn't pursue the part that Snape avoided answering, just slid down and got under the covers, "Even if it's a Potter—even if it's me, the worst thing in the world should have dark thoughts There will be times of resentment, of boredom, of wanting to run away."

"No one is an exception." Snape commented without a trace of emotion, looking at the teacup in his hand, "No one in the world can control their own thoughts, and no one should be punished for having such thoughts." Hard on yourself. Of course, if that person is important enough to more people, he shouldn't put this idea into practice. If he doesn't have anything, then feel free to do it, no one will care whether he lives or dies— —if he's given in, cowardly enough to give himself up."

"Thank you, Severus. I feel better," Harry said after a while.After thinking about it for a while, he knew that the man was warning him, or comforting him in his unique way.But he still had nothing to say.He had a feeling that the real showdown was coming—if everyone said his instincts were always right, then maybe he was.Such time is running out.

Sighing, he slid down onto the pillow, closing his eyes and feeling relaxed and safe.

There was no sign of Snape in the bed.But he didn't want to leave at all.The last time he could face war and death with peace and even with a sense of honor, because he had cut everything, and there was no tie.But this time is different.Love makes him move forward bravely, and at the same time makes him linger.He even wanted to admit directly that his sudden depression was only due to the fear of losing Snape - he didn't want to be out of touch with him, without feeling him.But he doesn't think now is a good time to be frank.

"Mr. Potter, let me remind you, this is my bedroom and you are lying on my bed." Snape said, standing up.His movements made it plain that he was chasing guests.

Harry climbed out of bed and put on his slippers, almost blurting out for a moment why they had to live in two rooms.He looked at the bed with nostalgia, and lingered on Snape's chest for a while, then opened the door and walked out slowly, expecting Snape to stop him.

The author has something to say: I will give you a gift package with enough words on the first day of torture.laugh.The two of them were forced to go on a mission together, which seemed to turn on a switch in myself... the kind of old man talking about a girl's heart...

As Goethe said, I had all the evil thoughts, but I didn't do them.Put it like this.This is a change I made to Erha according to my own preferences.I don’t know how to write the hero Xiaoha. Although Rowling’s Xiaoha has personal emotions and doesn’t study hard to play with Ron in class, he is like a saint when it comes to missions, and I especially love that kind.The hero Xiaoha is difficult to project onto ourselves in reality, so I changed him and developed him to be more like an ordinary person in daily life.I hope he recovers from his depression and continues to be optimistic. He will be afraid, but the love and courage in his heart push him to do what he thinks he should do best, just like when Ron played that game of chess, the sense of responsibility overwhelmed personal emotions .Love makes Erha worry about gains and losses, and creates fear. At the same time, it also makes him work harder, train himself harder, and make himself strong enough to protect.I remember I said Zilu before, and Confucius said that he was too brave, not afraid of death, straightforward and reckless, and he would die in the future.In the end, he really died, just to protect the gift and glory of a gentleman.It’s true to guard the most noble things in my heart, but Xiao Ha is not all Zilu’s personality, and I don’t like the hero Xiao Ha who has no resentment.So I don't write such Xiaoha. It is not a mistake to be afraid of losing, nor is it not brave, as long as you can stand up one more time after the down than the retreat no matter what the reason is.

The way of getting along has changed, Erha has completely gained the upper hand.I feel something like this:

Erha: Give me tea.

SS: No.

Erha: I want to sleep with you.

SS: Tell me directly why you are looking for me.Don't talk nonsense.

Erha: Sleeping with you is the purpose.

SS (furious): Get out, Potter!

Erha (obediently expressing that he didn't hear)

SS (angry): Get out, Potter!

Erha (obediently expressing that he didn't hear)

SS (calm): Get out, Potter.

Erha (be nice + approach): Severus, sleep together.

SS (weak): Get away from me.

Erha (well-behaved): Sleep together, sleep together, sleep together.

Hahahahaha It's almost in this state, it's going to be exhausted again and again. If SS can't smoke Erha for a day, he can't do anything about it for a day.

It's almost the end, and I don't think it's meaningful to squeeze toothpaste-style updates, I will update if I can write it out.There will be no holidays before the Chinese New Year. Let’s have a good time together. If you are bored after the long study and working days, if you can look back at this and be cured and continue to bravely face the bleak life, then I will be complete, laugh.

Sometimes I think from Xiaoha’s point of view, a 17-year-old suddenly finds out that a particularly annoying teacher has been chasing after his own mother since he was a child, and he still has lingering love until he dies. It should be hard to describe in words.He was able to slow down quickly and tell the story without any awkwardness when he was dueling with Lao Fu. He is really a child with extremely strong psychological quality.Although I don’t have any male teachers that I particularly hate, oh oh oh, I met a stupid invigilator who offended me once, if he chased after my mother for 30 years, and now he still misses my mother behind his back, Thinking about it, I feel like a fucking dog.Sorry if I shouldn't have said this in the SH text.laugh.