Reborn Beggar

Chapter 36

Su Yi has very few memories of Su's mother. The clearest memory is when Su's mother came back to go through divorce procedures with Su's father when she was seven years old.

Su's mother eloped with her lover with her six-year-old sister when he was three years old, leaving him and Su's father behind.

When I came back again, Su Yi was already in elementary school, and at that time, Su's father had married Aunt Zhong, who broke into their lives in the second year after Su's mother left.

Aunt Zhong was a divorced woman, a lonely and gentle woman. Su Yi didn't understand the affairs of adults at that time.Anyway, when he was six years old, Aunt Zhong gave birth to a pair of twins, and then they lived directly in her own home.

Su's mother came back after her younger brother and sister's first birthday. Su's father and Su's mother divorced peacefully. After turning around, they took their new lover's hand to register, and when they went out, they met and blessed each other.

From common sense, Su Yi should hate Su Ma, but Su Yi doesn't have much feeling for Su Ma.Su's mother and Su's father left the next day after going through the divorce procedures, and they have not shown up until now. At the beginning, Su's mother also asked Su Yi if she hated him.

At that time, Su Yi told her calmly that he didn't hate him. In fact, Aunt Zhong was his real mother in his heart. Although he always knew that his blood was the blood of the woman who abandoned himself and his father, but when he used the word mother When used on Su's mother, to little Su Yi, it's really just a noun.Because in his memory there are more warm scenes of Aunt Zhong taking care of him, so Su Yi really doesn't hate it.Where does hate come from without love?

In Su Yi's heart, the current home is the real home. As for the home where he lived with Su's mother and sister, it was like a plot in a novel, because not only did he not remember it, but he didn't feel anything about it.

Even so, the relationship between Su Yi and his family has always been indifferent.

Su's father is a bit busy and spends his free time with Aunt Zhong. Su Yi has to admit that Su's father and Aunt Zhong love each other very much.Su Yi loves and dotes on his twin brothers and sisters, but they are not close to him.Shen Haining is the eldest brother, the child of Aunt Zhong and her ex-husband. In Su Yi's eyes, he really regards him as an elder brother and loves him deeply... Su Yi thinks that he is not heartless, but that his feelings are very restrained.

But at this time he had to admit that he was indifferent to ruthless from the bottom of his bones, but he was also very crazy.

Just like the relationship with Murong, Su Yi decided to choose Murong with almost no hesitation in his heart.

It's not that he doesn't understand reality, and it's not that he doesn't understand what he will face, but he really doesn't hesitate at all.

No doubt he loves his family, but not as much as his lover.

He thought that his love for Wu Yating was also very deep, but it was not deep enough to drive him crazy, and he didn't make him desperately fight for or keep her.

Wu Yating and Shen Haining have been together for several years, if she wanted to, how could she not notice it?But how can it not be love if it can make yourself lose the will to live?

Su Yi didn't expect that Murong's position in his heart surpassed everything in silence. Thinking of this, Su Yi sighed slightly.

Su Yi rarely went to the canteen downstairs to buy a pack of cigarettes, and sat on the window sill to light it for himself when he got home. A familiar yet unfamiliar smell permeated the space.

A cigarette burned out quietly, turned into white ash, and scattered quietly on the ground, before Su Yi took out his mobile phone and dialed the number in his memory.

There were two beeps from the phone, and it was quickly connected. After a slight pause on the other end of the phone, he asked calmly, "When will you go home?"

All kinds of feelings suddenly surged in my heart, the clearest one was discomfort, which made my eyes ache slightly.

Su Yi thought that even though he was not close to Papa Su, Papa Su still knew him very well. He was always his father, and his blood flowed in his body.

Su's mother came back after three years, and she didn't even say sorry. It's not that Su's father was not angry or hated, but when nothing could affect the other party, there was only deep helplessness and powerlessness left. Those pains and injuries All turned into smoke, unable to grasp or touch.

Su Yi suddenly didn't know what to say, but replied truthfully: "I don't know yet."

The other end of the phone sighed slightly, and after a moment of silence, he asked again: "Are you okay?"

Su Yien let out a sound, but remained silent, no matter what she said at this time, it was wrong.

Su Yi felt that he was born unable to get close to people. He and Su's father had been dependent on each other, but they were still as indifferent as water. This conversation sounded more like a conversation between ordinary friends, not like a father and son at all.

He and Murong, it seems that he is active, but in fact he is passive. If Murong is less dependent on him, he and Murong may also be friends of gentlemen who are as light as water.

Both ends of the phone were dead silent, and after a while Su Yi heard the sound of a lighter on the other end of the phone, Su Yi suddenly remembered Su's father smoking, and the deep loneliness was hidden under the sinking face behind the smoke.

Su Yi took a deep breath and lit a cigarette for himself.

"Xiaocheng asked you if you called yesterday. Tingting asked you to accompany her to buy clothes for the Chinese New Year. Your Aunt Zhong prepared your favorite vegetable porridge this morning. Haining and Yating said they won't get married until you come back. ..."

Su's father chattered a lot, his tone was very calm, but he was deeply praying.

Su Yi listened, hot tears fell quietly.

After smoking a cigarette, Su Yi interrupted Su's father, and said very calmly: "Dad, I fell in love with someone and planned to spend the rest of my life with him."

Dad Su didn't seem to have expected this development, he was stunned for a while, before he had time to speak.

Su Yi went on to say: お稥 "But he is a man."

There was a deathly silence on the phone, except for the sound of cigarette lighting.

Su Yi also smoked, and he didn't even check whether the phone was connected. He waited until his palms were sweating, even he himself didn't know why he was so calm.

Probably made a plan, just waiting for the result!Then Su Yi thought.

The result wasn't bad, but it wasn't good by any means.Su's father said: "Haining is getting married, come back and participate!"

Su Yi agreed without hesitation. In fact, he had this idea when he heard that the two were not married, but when he hung up the phone, the sigh came from the other end of the phone, like a needle stuck in Su Yi's heart.

Su Yi recalled all of Su's father in his memory. He really couldn't find that Su's father was sorry for him. Aunt Zhong gave birth to twins and brought her ex-husband's son. No matter who he treats, Su's father is the same Love, and love in the palm of your hand.

Su Yi was ashamed of everything, especially Su's father, but he couldn't say sorry.

Because even he himself can't forgive himself who has no hesitation and no repentance. Saying sorry to let the other party accept and forgive is to comfort his heart. Why do people who can't even let go say sorry?

He suddenly understood Su's mother who eloped with her lover. It's not that she didn't apologize, but when she made a mistake that she couldn't even forgive, how could she have the heart to ask for forgiveness?But she can't avoid making mistakes, so she would rather bear this mistake until she dies.

If it's ruthless, Su Yi thinks it's a kind of pride and stubbornness permeating from his bones.

Su Yi thought about it a lot later, but he didn't seem to think about anything.

He sat there until Murong came home, and when Murong came back and opened the door, he was choked by the smell of smoke and coughed.

Seeing Su Yi sitting by the window sill, Murong coughed twice, covered his mouth and nose and walked over.

Su Yi pulled Murong over, buried his head in his neck, smelled the dry smell of his body, and slowly it turned into licking and biting.

After relentlessly lingering, Su Yi brushed away Murong's hair, and lightly scratched the bridge of his nose.

Sometimes Su Yi thinks that this should only be done to girls and children, but he can't help but treat Murong like this. This kind of intimacy and love comes from the heart and has nothing to do with anything, and Murong, who is also a man, also It's easier for him to do it without hesitation.

At this time, Murong was always very docile, like a kitten sleeping contentedly, especially the contented expression on his face made Su Yi feel at ease.

Murong's face was blushing and lazy after the event, Su Yi couldn't help but kissed the corner of his mouth, and even licked it lightly.

Murong doesn't like the smell of cigarettes. Although Ji Yan also smokes, he feels that the faint smell of tobacco on Su Yi's body is not so unacceptable. Instead, there is a faint fragrance, which is the unique smell of tobacco.

Murong found out that Su Yi had something on his mind, because Su Yi rarely had something on his mind, so Murong didn't know whether to ask or not, but just obeyed Su Yi.

Su Yi saw Murong's hesitation, and said to him: "Today, I called home and asked to go back to attend my brother's wedding."

With a bang, Murong's mind exploded. In his perception, this was Su Yi's intention to leave. After a few trials, he had learned to be calm, but he couldn't stop the turmoil in his heart. the pain.

In the past, Su Yi had the idea that he would go if he asked him to. It was because his feelings for Su Yi were very simple at that time, at least in his cognition.

But now both feelings and relationships are very complicated. In the eyes of others, this kind of relationship is almost dirty. Murong himself doesn't think so, but when others see it this way, he has to pay attention to this issue, but he doesn't use such embarrassing words. Even if there is a little relationship with Su Yi, he thinks he is the one who is dirty.He felt that he couldn't go back with Su Yi if he was so dirty. If he left here, it would mean separation.

In fact, what Su Yi said was just to inform Murong that they were going back to attend his brother's wedding.

In his mind, Murong and him are one.

As for coming out of the closet, he doesn't say anything, he just thinks it's unnecessary, no matter what, the result won't change.

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