back to college

outside the operating room.

The doctor opened the door from the emergency room, Lin Yi put down the cell phone he was playing on, and greeted him.

"How is he doing?"

The doctor took off the mask on his face and shook his head helplessly.

Lin Yi froze, he suddenly felt that things might be a little serious.

"...His wound was very deep. Although the wound was not in a fatal position, he was still in a coma for a long time because of the lack of medical treatment for a long time after the injury, and the excessive blood loss caused insufficient blood supply to the brain cells. Wake up. Now he has a high fever again," the doctor said with a long sigh: "He is very weak now, whether he wakes up or not is a problem. If the high fever persists, it is estimated that... it will be difficult for people to survive. Tonight... You, better inform his immediate family members, come and meet him first, prepare for the best and the worst."

The doctor put the mask in his pocket and walked away without saying anything.

Lin Yi stood at the same place, looking at Tang Xiaoli who was slowly pushed out immediately, his face was not as rosy and lively as he had seen before, but now it seemed that his whole face was even a little pale, without any Bloody... However, the corners of his chapped lips were still raised slightly, as if he was smiling.

He seemed to have fallen asleep, and luckily had a good dream, and couldn't help laughing in the dream.

Every day slipped away unknowingly, just like that for another five days.

There is still no news from Tang Xiaoli.

His whole body seemed to have evaporated from the world. Gu Muyuan even used all his active power to find someone, but in the end, he found nothing in the vast sea of ​​people. He didn't know what was wrong or what happened, but It is certain that he is getting more and more anxious every day.

Three days ago, he was so helpless that he called the police.

Tang Xiaoli's parents are long gone, and he doesn't have many relatives, and he is the only friend.Until today, he didn't feel that Tang Xiaoli's world was really simple and scary.In such a big world, there is not even a single person with a heart.Sometimes he wonders how he survived when he was alone.

He felt like he couldn't figure it out...

Recently, he always thought, why did he fall in love with himself in the first place? Such a stubborn fool like him can't fall in love with anyone, but he just likes such a heartless person like him.Although he never said it, he never faced the relationship between him and Tang Xiaoli.

Everyone is the same, always don't know what they want.

He thought that the two of them had tried to be lovers, and if they failed, they could go back to be friends... Tang Xiaoli was not that important to him, his world was rich and colorful, there was no more than one person, and no less...

but.

Furukihara's expression was gloomy, mixed with imperceptible sadness and condemnation.

He knew that this time he was wrong, he overestimated himself and underestimated Tang Xiaoli.

So, he lost.

"...is it Mr. Gu Muyuan?" The sudden ringtone of the mobile phone interrupted his thoughts.

Gu Muyuan got up from the chair, stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling glass, looked down at the people who were as small as ants downstairs, and hurried to and fro: "Well, I am."

"We have found Mr. Tang Xiaoli." The person on the other end of the phone said calmly, "...does he have any immediate family members?"

Gu Muyuan was a little puzzled by this question, but he still couldn't help being happy, and quickly said, "No more."

"Then you are..."

"I can be regarded as his friend for many years..." Gu Muyuan felt that he had no confidence when he said this nonsense.

"Is that so." The man's tone could be heard with some embarrassment.

"What's the matter?" A few vague words made Gu Muyuan feel that something was wrong.

"Oh, in this case, Mr. Gu, we hope you'd better be mentally prepared." His words made Gu Muyuan's heart skip a beat.

"Mr. Tang, he...has...died away in the hospital the day before yesterday."

……

For a split second, there was a sudden deathly silence in Gu Muyuan's ears, without a sound.

respite……

The only sound left was panting.

Panting heavily, I didn't even realize that I didn't even have the strength to hold the phone, and my whole body was slightly stiff.But he still acted as if he didn't understand, with incomparable shock and disbelief on his face: "Wh... what nonsense!"

However, his tone began to disintegrate bit by bit, and he lost the confidence he had before.

"Mr. Gu, I know this matter is difficult for people to accept, but..." The man's voice was still exceptionally calm: "Mr. Tang Xiaoli has really passed away."

"Fart!!" Gu Muyuan couldn't accept it, how could he accept it, suddenly he called for no reason and said Tang Xiaoli was dead, what nonsense!

He held the phone tremblingly, but he could only roar hysterically.

"... A while ago, he was fine... and he was not sick or ill, how could he just die!" Gu Muyuan's voice was low and hoarse, but he was still yelling, as if to prove that what he said was true , and he didn't even realize that a rational thing was left on his lips at this moment, but this sentence was repeated over and over again.

"We also know that this matter sounds difficult to accept. However, these are facts. Mr. Tang Xiaoli was unfortunately seriously injured in the process of fighting with the criminal suspect during his mission. In the end, Died without treatment."

That person's words were high-sounding and stable.

However, Gu Muyuan couldn't accept it.

"Nonsense...Nonsense, nonsense!!" Gu Muyuan continued to say in a low voice over and over again, with an extremely childish persistence, like a wounded beast.

His throat seemed to have been torn apart, and he could only make a dry, weeping sound in embarrassment. It was not so much a persistent low voice, but more like begging for the man to take back what he had said.He doesn't believe it, and he doesn't believe it anyway. This must be a joke, yes! !It was just a joke, Tang Xiaoli must have been angry with him and hated him half-heartedly... He was looking for an excuse to make him angry, so that he would know what Tang Xiaoli meant to him...

Thinking of this, Gu Muyuan had a distorted smile on his face.

Ok.

He endured it all.

He knew he was wrong.

He regretted it.

He admitted that he did, liked Tang Xiaoli...even more than he knew, a lot more...

However, the ruthless voice on the other end of the phone still spoke slowly, like a piercing scimitar, scratching my heart one by one.

"...Mr. Gu, if possible, we hope you can come to the memorial service for Mr. Tang tomorrow, and...at that time, we will discuss with you about the cremation of his body..."

He always thought that words like thunderbolt from the blue can only appear in books and used in movies. He has been a strong man in his life and has everything he wants in his hands.

But now.

Gu Muyuan still stood upright, and the phone in his hand only had a long beeping tone. ,

Bravery, this seems to be the best and most appropriate word to describe him now.He didn't dare to move, he didn't even dare to put down the phone, he was afraid that as long as he put down the phone, everything would become an established fact.Nothing can be changed.

He will be crazy.

Gain and loss are just two words to him. In his dictionary, what he wants can be obtained, and what he doesn't want will naturally be lost.He never really lost anything.

But Tang Xiaoli was different...

He wasn't even sure what he meant to him...

All he knew was that he never wanted to let him go in this life.

Gu Muyuan's eyes widened, hoping that he could get through it as easily as he heard any news that had nothing to do with him before, but he became defeated when he saw the group photo hanging on the wall.

At that moment, Gu Muyuan didn't even realize that his tears were streaming down his face. He looked at the photo blankly. After the high school league, he held Tang Xiaoli's trophy with his arms around him, and took a photo with a smile.The throbbing pain in his chest made him unable to maintain that posture any longer, his whole body was vulnerable, and he began to cry in pain.

In the bright office, the intermittent crying made people feel sour.A man in his late thirties squatted on the ground, crying bitterly...

That night, for Gu Muyuan, there was only silence and fear.

The next day, the phone has been ringing non-stop since the morning.Gu Muyuan didn't seem to hear it, he just nestled in Tang Xiaoli's room alone, looking at the photos on the wall, and wiped them with his hands lovingly.

His exhausted face seemed to have aged several years overnight, but his clothes were still neat and his face was still cold, but the pain and sadness in his eyes could no longer be blocked.

All day long, I just stayed in the house, neither eating nor drinking.

The third day.

Day [-]...

When he woke up again in the morning, he found himself in the mirror, where he still had the stern look before, but now he looked like a scavenger.

It really feels old.

Heavy dark circles, newly grown cyan beard, crumpled suit... This is still him... a radiant him.

The phone hasn't rang since yesterday, and Gu Muyuan felt that the tense nerves were slightly relieved. He was very tired and couldn't hold on anymore.It's not that he doesn't believe that Tang Xiaoli is dead, let alone go to any memorial service...

It won't be him at all, there is no point in going there.

They must have wanted to make a fool of themselves, so they did this.

Yes, it must be...

He just needs to wait here quietly, and when Tang Xiaoli's anger subsides, he will come back obediently as before.He swears that he will treat him well this time, and stop being so heartless... If he wants to make him happy, at least he won't let him be alone in this world...

However, it is still quiet here, as if it has been forgotten.

Declining day by day.

Phone, I started thinking again.

It's just that the caller this time, no matter how the police station urged him to attend the memorial service, was not to discuss the issue of Tang Xiaoli's cremation or the burial...

This time, it was Tang Xiaoli's phone that rang.

Qi Ya called.

But he still didn't want to pick it up, he felt exhausted.

After the phone can't remember the number of beeps, it is automatically turned into a phone recording, and only this faint voice is left in the quiet room that is slowly dying.

"Ah Yuan, I know you're listening."

"..."

"I've also heard about Tang Xiaoli. I went to the memorial service yesterday. The scene was very decent and there were many people who came. They were all colleagues at work..."

Gu Muyuan just lay on the sofa, staring at the ceiling with his eyes open, listening quietly, tears streaming down his eyes.

"...I heard from the doctor that Xiao Li died in a coma. There was no pain, and he was very peaceful, as if he was asleep." Qi Ya's voice was choked with sobs.

Gu Muyuan closed his eyes, his nose was red, and he trembled slightly.

"No one can accept that such a thing happened. I know you are very sad, and you don't want to believe this fact... I also know that you and Tang Xiaoli have a very good relationship, so I can understand... But, you still have me... ...we still have a future..."

Gu Muyuan just closed his eyes, and finally cried with his head in his arms. The sound of wailing drowned out all voices, overwhelmed the endless fear, overwhelmed the endless longing, regret, and self-blame...

He really felt as if he, too, had died once.

Time flies by inadvertently, and I wish I didn't even realize that it has been four years.

In the past four years, Gu Muyuan felt that he had changed a lot, he became more calm and indifferent, he also liked smoking, and fell in love with a person who is dull and silent.

Last year, he and Qi Ya got married.

The wedding scene was very grand, and many former classmates came.Occasionally, a few people would ask about Tang Xiaoli, but he just smiled lightly and didn't answer.

Some of them said that Tang Xiaoli almost became his shadow back then, so why didn't he come to such an important festival today? Is this person a little lacking in loyalty?They also said that they knew that he would marry Qi Ya, and they saw that he liked her alone after so many years, and other people couldn't get into his eyes at all. It's like a fairy tale that lovers will eventually get married.He also said that he is a blessed person, he can do whatever he wants, and he should cherish the person in front of him.One day, all the classmates will definitely come to get together, and also call that Tang Xiaoli, don't always stay alone...

He held the wine glass, but just smiled.

He was very drunk that night, very drunk.

He thought that Tang Xiaoli would appear in the dream at least once, but he didn't.He knew he probably didn't want to see him again.Everything was so flat, he didn't even think he had anything to look forward to.

Everything is developing in a good direction, except that occasionally when I wake up at night, my heart will feel aching.

He didn't expect two things, one thing, Tang Xiaoli would have an accident.One more thing, why is it so difficult to forget someone...

He likes to go to the cemetery where Tang Xiaoli is buried and talk to him when he has nothing to do. It is too quiet here and he is afraid that he will feel lonely occasionally... He bought a seat next to Tang Xiaoli's tomb. It is empty, and it says with his name...