Ceaseless

Su Xi and Nie Jingze were together in the late autumn of their sophomore year, and they broke up when they graduated from their senior year. There were two years in between, and the time spent in bed far exceeded the time spent in love.

They moved out of the dormitory, but Nie Jingze didn't want to sleep with him in the master bedroom.Compared to cohabiting couples, he and Nie Jingze are more like landlords and tenants.Fortunately, Su Xi didn't take it to heart, and even took advantage of the other party's bathing in the bathroom every night, sneaked into the side bed in his underwear and waited for him.Nie Jingze rolled him up with the quilt, threw him on the sofa in the living room, and locked him when he returned to the room.

Su Xi turned on the heater in the living room, curled up on the sofa wrapped in a quilt until the early morning, held the key of the side sleeper to open the door, and crawled into Nie Jingze's quilt barefoot and smeared.Rub the slightly cool palms to create warmth, and then reach out to hug the other's waist, faking the illusion of sleeping in the other's arms.

The first thing Nie Jingze did when he opened his eyes the next morning was to break off the arm that fell on his waist and push him from the middle of the quilt to the edge of the double bed.Su Xi would wake up with drowsy eyes amid such movements, rub the corners of his eyes that overflowed with physiological tears when he yawned, and smile at Nie Jingze's cold face on a winter morning, which can be said to melt ice and snow.

The second time I went to bed was the night before the CET-[-] exam.

Su Xi has been released from the mobile phone blacklist by him.He sent a message to Nie Jingze to come home later.Nie Jingze didn't reply to him, and Su Xi watched the chat interface full of chat bubbles with no reply, but he didn't feel any discomfort.He gradually got used to it, he knew that the other party would not reply to his message, but he would definitely read it.

Nie Jingze returned earlier than Su Xi. He took a shower in the bathroom, but did not lock the door.Su Xi couldn't bear to deal with those friends who had some contacts because of his father's relationship, so he found an excuse at the dinner table, left the table early and rushed to the apartment.When he entered the door and took off his coat to look for someone, he found Nie Jingze taking a shower.He walked to the door as silently as before, and habitually held the doorknob and twisted it lightly, but he didn't feel the frozen state that he was familiar with in the past.

The sound of drizzling water penetrated the door and fell into his ears, and the corners of his lips curled up.

Su Xi took off his sweater and jeans, and broke in through the steaming mist while wearing a shirt.Although Nie Jingze's face was full of anger, he scolded him coldly.However, the body that is stuck in the water is far more honest than the brain.

That night, Nie Jingze slept in the master bedroom for the first time.He put himself in Su Xi's body, the tip of his nose was filled with the smell of Su Xi's used shower gel.The most annoying smell during the day makes him lose his cool at night.

He no longer rejected the approach of Su Xi's body, even though it was still the most primitive desire without any affection, without any lingering sentimentality.

In the first semester of his sophomore year, Nie Jingze aggressively raped him on the bed at night, and got up during the day to take the CET-[-] English exam. In the exam room, he met Nie Jingze who was sitting at the front desk. The other party treated him like the other strangers in the exam room.Even when Su Xi handed him a note and kicked his chair leg during the exam, the other party ignored him, and never even turned his face towards him.

On Valentine's Day in the second semester of sophomore year, Shen Sui and other friends celebrated Nie Jingze's birthday in the private room of the bar. Nie Jingze never mentioned Su Xi from the beginning to the end.The dinner invitation sent to the other party fell to nothing, but at the school gate, he ran into the captain of the school basketball team who was rushing to attend the birthday party.

The captain of the school team took him to the bar. The bar held a masked affair theme party on Valentine's Day. Su Xi stopped in the corridor outside the private room door, opened his mouth to stop the waiter who delivered the wine, and exchanged a stack of banknotes for him. The bar uniform on his body, the mask on his face and the drink in his hand.

He knocked on the door and went in to deliver the wine. The moment he saw Nie Jingze, he could clearly see Nie Jingze's relaxed and casual appearance towards others. The thought of lifting the mask was gradually submerged in frustration, and he picked up the wine tray and walked out quietly.The captain of the school team stood up from the crowd and clasped his wrist with a complicated expression.

Nie Jingze's eyes finally turned away from the others, and fell on him and the captain of the school team, with unpredictable emotions in his eyes.

He withdrew his hand and exited the private room without saying a word.Stopped by an insane drunk in the entanglement in the stairwell and knocked off the mask, the drunk's eyes lingered on his face many times, while reaching out to hug him in his arms, while bowing his head to his collar.

Nie Jingze pulled the drunk man away from him, raised his foot to kick the drunk man's knee, and yelled at him with an ugly face.

Su Xi felt even more lost in his heart.

In the summer vacation of her junior year, Su Xi and her classmates went to practice sketching in the mountains, and met the teacher who led the school basketball team at the foot of the mountain.He sent a text message to the captain of the school team, opened the navigation software on his phone to search for the name of the hotel he sent him, and in the evening, avoiding the sketching teacher who led the team, went down the mountain alone to find the hotel at the foot of the mountain, and knocked on the door of Nie Jingze's room.

The other party came to open the door, and his face darkened when he saw him.Su Xi pretended not to notice, stretched out her arms to wrap his arms around his neck and kissed his chin, and stayed in the other's room for the night on the pretext of going to bed.After dawn, Nie Jingze kicked him out of the house, and Su Xi crouched in the corridor to call him, but he only heard the other party say, "Go back."

The phone was hung up, and when I called again, it was rejected.Su Xi stood up from the ground supporting his numb knees, the door of the opposite room was pulled open, the captain of the school team supported the door frame and looked at him with lowered eyebrows, "I'll take you back."

Su Xi held the phone and did not speak, Nie Jingze's cold voice came from the phone: "Su Xi, go back by yourself, and don't come down the mountain to find me again."

Only then did he realize that the last call was actually picked up.

Su Xi did not go down the mountain to look for him again.

Besides, when he returned to school after the summer vacation, Nie Jingze didn't even allow him to join the school basketball team.

It was clear that they became more compatible day by day in bed, but after getting out of bed, he felt that he was getting farther and farther away from Nie Jingze, and even far worse than before they were together.

In the summer of his senior year, Su Songqing wanted to send him abroad before the results of his graduation defense were announced.He got a clue from the increasingly heavy and tired expression on Su Songqing's face and the words in the study through the crack of the door, but the first thing he thought of was breaking up with Nie Jingze.

He asked Nie Jingze to meet in a cafe near the school.When Nie Jingze was about to graduate, he moved back to the dormitory. The person he hadn't seen for a few days sat in the store, tapped his fingertips on the table, and asked him coldly, "If you have something to say, I have something to do."

Su Xi said to him, "We can break up now."

He felt like he was pleasing each other even when he broke up.

Nie Jingze was stunned for a second, shattered ice appeared in his eyes, he opened his lips, and slowly uttered a word: "Okay."

Su Xi vaguely heard a bit of gnashing of teeth and sullenness, and couldn't help but recall the birthday party two years ago.The long river of time connects the two ends of the memory together. The appearance of the other party gnashing his teeth when he promised his confession two years ago overlaps with the scene of the breakup in a weird and unexpected way.

Su Xi attributed the resentment in the opponent's eyes to the displeasure of being dumped unilaterally.

He got up and opened the store door and walked out, sending a last text message to Nie Jingze while walking.

[I will tell others that we broke up peacefully.Or, do you still prefer the idea that I was dumped by you? 】

He lowered his head, and didn't see Nie Jingze got up and dropped his phone in the glass window of the coffee shop behind him.

It's just that before Su Xi had time to go abroad, Su Songqing was taken away for inspection, and the property at home was seized.Life fell from the unattainable sky that others looked up to to the humble ground like dust and gravel overnight, and went back to school to complete the withdrawal procedures.In the dormitory, I met Yang Ji with a dejected and empty expression.

Yang Ji, who didn't know anything about Su Xi's family situation, pulled Su Xi and murmured, "I'm broken in love."

Su Xi stopped and looked at him.

"She went abroad." Yang Ji frowned helplessly, "They all said that she and Nie Jingze went abroad together."

Su Xi's face was slightly startled, and he stood there and regained his composure.After a long time, he pulled himself out of the sour emotions, and looked at Yang Ji, whose eyes were black and red with red circles, "You—"

Yang Ji suddenly raised his eyelids to look at him.

Su Xi met his gaze, and was about to blurt out, but suddenly remembered Shen Qingyi's words.

He finally shook his head and said nothing.

That night, lying in a cheap and old hotel, Su Xi dreamed that when he met Yang Ji during the day, the other party said to him with reddish eyes: "I'm broken in love."

When it came to the end, he clearly saw that Yang Ji's face had turned into himself.