Serial

After I got out of the police station, I didn't go home, but went directly to Gan Lin.Facing me as an uninvited guest, she was still the same, making tea in a leisurely manner, and asked me some trivial matters in life during the period, trying to make me relax.

"Gan Lin," I held the teacup, and there was a secret in my heart that was about to be revealed, "Do you know that I have been keeping something from you?"

She wasn't surprised, she just said that everyone has secrets.

My index finger tapped the porcelain cup, the sound was very clear, but instead of becoming calm, I became more flustered.

"Someone said before that when I was drunk, I kept calling someone's name." I stared at the tea leaves floating in the tea, and finally opened my mouth.

"Is this person important to you?" Gan Lin asked.

"Well," I nodded, "he—has been with me all this time."

"But—" I frowned, "but he died three years ago."

Gan Lin refilled my tea once, and I looked at her in a panic, but she was still very calm, as if I could talk to her no matter what the secret was.

"I had a car accident three years ago. When I woke up, I found that he was gone." I said, looking at the carpet, I unconsciously recalled the comfort and smile of my friend three years ago, and I will always be there. A note with the first line written on it.

"It's gone...?" Gan Lin didn't understand my description.

I looked up at her, even a little distressed, and smiled, "Yes, he's gone. Finally, I'm the only one—"

Gan Lin didn't speak, she was thinking.After a while, she tentatively asked me if I had schizophrenia.

I nodded.

"His name is Su Li." I said.

When I was growing up in an orphanage, other children didn’t like me. In the circle of children, it’s easy to discriminate against a person. One thought or one word can destroy a person forever.They often bully me, from snatching my toys, biscuits, lunch, to throwing me with small stones.

When I was seven years old, I found that they no longer surrounded me, but they were a little scared when they saw me.It wasn't long before I realized that there was another me in my body who was responsible for helping me drive away those nasty guys.

I rely on him very much, he always dislikes my weak character, and beats those people like me over and over again, although his injury will make me feel pain, but I always say thank you to him in the notebook.The notebook is our contact form.

When I grow up and enter a civilized society, no one will bully me anymore, but Zuli still exists.I didn't know until then that this is called split personality.I found a lot of information about split personality on the Internet. I don't want to compete with Su Li for this body. I think it's fine now.

After college, Su Li rarely appeared in front of people. He said that he was too different from me, and he was afraid of being exposed.So Su Li only appeared at night or when he was alone. Every time he appeared, he would leave me a message, and we communicated through this message.

The content of the message is very simple, such as what did he do today, who contacted me, and asked me to pay more attention to my body.

Before I found a job, I was depressed all the time, and I was exhausted every day because of the to-and-fro life, so reading Su Li's message every day became my greatest joy.At that time I didn't know what this emotion was or when it started.If I had to go back to the origin, it probably started when I was seven years old, when Zuli appeared.

But because of the car accident three years ago, everything was gone.I don't know anything about the car accident. I only know that when I opened my eyes, I saw a hospital ward.It was the doctors and the police who told me I was in a car accident.I also went to see the surveillance at the time, I was driving very fast, and then I hit a truck.

They don't understand my death-seeking behavior, and I don't know.Because I was not me at the time, but Su Li.

During that time, he was in a bad mood, would smash things, left fewer messages, and his words were messy.But I never had a chance to ask him why again.

After the car accident, Su Li disappeared. I had a bad year, and I was the only one who suffered the pain of Su Li's death.

Later, I met Lu Xiao, and I said to myself, try it, and then I accepted his pursuit.After Lu Xiao left, I realized that what I missed the most was not him, but Su Li.

When I returned to the present moment, Gan Lin was still comforting me, maybe I was acting a little fragile.It was a cure, she said.

She also said that such cases of self-healing are rare, saying that Su Li existed only because I needed such a person for a certain period of time, and now that he has left, it means that I have recovered and am a complete person.

I listened in a daze, and finally left the room accompanied by her.

I went home, and the house was the same as before, except that the little note from yesterday disappeared again.

My mind is in a mess right now, those few words of Gan Lin are still lingering in my mind.

— There are very few cases of such self-healing.

—I am a whole person now.

I rinsed my face with cold water and looked at myself in the mirror, feeling unreal.Looking back on this period of time, it seems like something is stuck in my throat.

I stared at the mirror for a long time, then reached out and smashed the mirror.

I smashed the house to pieces.

Found a dark space.