He can't read my heart today

To my dear Xi Jun:

When I write this letter, you are sitting on the balcony of the apartment reading the new contract. I really have no new inspiration to write, so I can only pick up the pen and write something in my poor language.But if I just write a few sentences casually, and I am afraid that I will write something that is moaning about nothing, then I will write a letter to you.

Should have written to you long ago.It’s just that when I was young, I couldn’t write, and I couldn’t speak fluently. When I grew up, I could write, and you weren’t by my side.After going through so much, I am finally able to calm down and write something for you.

I said I wanted to write something, but I didn't know what to write.Then just write down my feelings in a few strokes.

It's kind of subtle.It’s only been a week or two since you came here. Every morning when I wake up and see you sleeping next to me, I always feel like I’m dreaming.I always have to ask you for a hug and a gentle touch, so that I can confirm that the people around me are real, not the fake ones I imagined.

I got a call from Mellie's mom this morning.Meierli's mother is my first landlord in country S, she is an amiable old lady.She is very good at cooking, and she is always gentle and delicate.If you want to describe it, it is probably like Van Gogh's sunflowers.I know there are seven paintings, but each one has a different kind of tenderness. Mama Mellie is such a gentle woman.She called to ask me how I was doing recently, and I said everything was fine, and that my lover in China came to see me, and I was very happy.She was also very happy for me, and was going to invite us to her house for dinner.

Mr. Craftsman has also spoken a lot more gently recently. Although I never think he is a bit of a fierce person, I must say that his attitude towards me is really much gentler.I will not accuse me of not being so clear about the material of some gemstones, overestimating or underestimating the hardness and other mistakes.

I often feel kind after coming here.I don't know if it's because my mood is no longer as gloomy as before, or because I really met a lot of good people, but I always feel happy every day.

In the past, I don’t want to always recall and mention it. After all, it’s hard for us to be together now. If we always mention things that couldn’t be changed before, I always feel boring and tedious, and maybe it’s a bit annoying.But the old days were indeed an integral and important part of our relationship, weren't they?I believe that if you didn't have those things before, you would have many concerns if you were asked to come to me like this.

I don't remember even the smallest things.I just remember when I saw you again.The strangeness towards you made me feel terrible. I actually forgot such an important person. I really don't know what I thought at that time.When I couldn't think of you, every time you came to me, I just felt awkward and uncomfortable. Every action and every word of yours was breaking the rules of this backwater courtyard.But I can't help you, because you are the master.At that time, I thought about leaving this place every moment. Although I didn't know where I was going, I thought it would be good to leave here.Before that, I only thought that I could leave if necessary, but every time you come in contact with me, you want me to leave this place.But fortunately, I soon thought of you. I remember it was that dinner party. I saw a scene that I shouldn't have seen.

Stereotypes cause me intense discomfort.

What kind of feeling is that?

Pain, it was unimaginable pain.It's like when you are at sunrise, the sea surface is reflected with sparkling light, and it is high tide, you take off your shoes, wear thin clothes that cannot withstand the sea breeze, and walk towards the sea step by step, the cold sea water flows from your toes , not reaching your ankles, making you feel cold all over, gradually following you step by step towards the sea, not reaching your knees, waist and hips, gradually your feet can no longer step on the sand Then, the sea water will slowly cover your chest and neck, and then flow into your internal organs along your open mouth, blocking your breathing, blocking your thoughts, until the sea water washes away your internal organs. The six viscera are soaked with the salty smell of seawater. At that time, you are helpless, and you feel death resigned to fate.

Yes, that's how it feels.I know better than anyone the horrible appearance of my sickness, so I try to control it, but I can't do anything.I couldn't regain consciousness until the end, probably because of this wonderful, terrible feeling.

Fortunately, it has passed, and I have recovered a relatively healthy physical condition. Although compared with yours, my physical strength is still too weak to keep up with your rhythm.But I'm also working on my normal workouts to get fitter, it's amazing, I can't believe I'm going to be like this, I'm still healthy.

I think this is due to Dr. Gong, but it is also thanks to you.

You still haven't asked me why I designed Allen to bring down Mimeng.I didn't have this idea at the time, I just wanted to play some tricks, influence some Allen, and get revenge on him.After all, it was because of Allen that I was involved in a series of problems in the Xi family, otherwise I could continue to live my comfortable life.But what happened later made me start to have ambitions for Mimeng, especially the conversation between Allen and Zou Shiqi during the meal, which I spent some money to bribe the waiter to do.Their conversation was really not that glorious, and any random point can make people feel that there are many points that can be used. I just let this recording continue to play a role.

It's really great to be able to help you.

I feel like I need to tell you something in advance.For example, the kick your dad kicked me actually hurt.I hated your dad even more at that moment.

But I still don't want to hate, I'm tired.And in the end, I got his son. If I say that I hate him or something, it seems that some people don't know what is good or bad, and they are acting good when they get cheap.

I……

What am I trying to say?Oh, I forgot, look at you, can you be quieter when making a phone call? It's so noisy that I even forget what I want to say.

If you forget something important, you are fully responsible.

Sigh... I don't have anything else to say, but I just want to say, thank you very much for your willingness to abandon you and come to this strange place with me.

In fact, thank you very much, but I always feel that if I say it, it will not be precious, and if I don’t say it, I am afraid that you will not know.

I feel good now, really good.You love me very much, and you are by my side, I love you very much, and I am by your side.Although the two of us don't seem to have received many blessings, I think it's pretty good, and I'm very, very satisfied.

Many times, life is so happy that it seems difficult to verify the degree of love.

This morning, you woke up and asked me if I felt bad.I didn't answer.It's actually quite uncomfortable.But you are taking care of me very seriously, and I said I have nothing to do and can stay by myself, so you went to see your contract.I'm so happy, I'm such an important existence to you.

As if talking too much, you're peeking at what I'm doing.I won't talk about it, lest you come to ask me after I wrote half of it, and I haven't finished it, and I won't be able to connect after you finish it.

your afternoon

[The author has something to say: It's over! ! ! ! ! 】