Mu Chen

49. Once

Mu Chen saw that Ding Bowen didn't speak, but his face was a little red, and he looked nervously at himself, so he couldn't help but soften his heart.This friend of his seems to have been doted on since he was a child, but who knows the pain in his heart?

"There's nothing I can't accept. Don't forget what I'm studying. It's just a little sudden. Tell me, how long have you two been together? How come I didn't notice it at all?"

Ding Bowen, "..."

Muchen, "Also, what are you two going to do in the future, brother, your family conditions are very good, don't your family members know? Can they accept it? Bowen, Teacher Ding is fine, but Teacher Hu's test is not easy. "

Ding Bowen looked at Mu Chen with only worry in his eyes, without the contempt he was afraid of, and felt relieved.

His mother's control over him since he was a child made his classmates respect him. Even if they had contacts, they all felt that his parents attached great importance to him. He was a child of someone else's family who grew up looking forward to attention.

Only Mu Chen, maybe because of his father, Dr. Mu, maybe because his mother is not a mother in the ordinary sense, maybe, just because he is a sensitive person who can see his depression.He always finds various opportunities to let him blend into the crowd, pull him to exercise, and participate in group activities, so that he also has a few friends.

Muchen is his most important friend, and he cares about his opinion very much.

The apartment that Gu Ning bought was not far from the car dealership, and it was only a ten-minute walk from Haida University. Gu Ning explained, "I drive to work, and Bowen lives here, which is closer to the school."

The exterior of the house looks like an old building, there is no elevator on the seventh floor, they are the third floor, the area is not big, but the design is good, there is no wasted space.

There are two bedrooms and one living room, one bedroom and one study room. They are very warmly furnished and very tidy. The facilities are very new and should have been renovated.

Gu Ning went to put food in the refrigerator, and Ding Bowen accompanied Mu Chen around the room.Seeing the double quilt laid flat on the master bedroom bed, Mu Chen looked at him narrowly and smiled, Ding Bowen blushed again, preparing to confess to his friends was one thing, being teased was another.

Muchen, "Aren't you going to tell the truth?"

Gu Ning came over and hugged Ding Bowen's shoulders, "Why are you teasing him all the time, hurry up and cook, and I'll tell you from the beginning after dinner."

Muchen, "Oh." He can't afford to offend this dark-bellied senior, and he can't afford to offend an honest baby who is protected by someone.

There is a lot of stock in the refrigerator, and it is said that it is waiting for him as a chef.Mu Chen stir-fried, mixed, cooked several dishes, and stewed a pot of meatball snack vermicelli soup, sprinkled with minced chives and put it out of the pot, it smelled amazing.

This is a snack from their hometown and Ding Bowen's favorite. He ate two bowls in one sitting.

There is no heating in the old house, Gu Ning only installed the air conditioner in the bedroom, usually the living room is quite cold, but now Ding Bowen is sweating from the forehead, Gu Ning is feeding him a bowl of vegetables, while laughing, His expression was very gentle.

Mu Chen rolled his eyes, "Hey, hey, can you restrain yourself, so that the chef faints from showing off, who will cook tomorrow, will you still eat the lamb chops?"

Ding Bowen didn't know why he raised his head, saw Mu Chen rolling his eyes, and then saw Gu Ning's focused and gentle face, he quickly lowered his head to drink the soup, but this time his ears were red.

Gu Ning said with a serious face, "Xiaochen, teach me how to make these meatballs and snacks these few days."

Muchen curled his lips, "Brother, didn't you let me come early to make up for my lessons, why did you learn crafts?"

Gu Ning, "Oh, that's the tuition fee."

Ding Bowen lowered his head and chuckled.

Muchen...

After talking and laughing, the three of them nestled into the sofa, which was a big light blue fabric sofa, and it was very comfortable to sit on.

Ding Bowen sat cross-legged on the left side of the front double sofa, and took the towel from the armrest to cover his legs. Mu Chen sat on the single sofa next to him. Ding Bowen said, "You also cover your legs. Come on, it will get cold in this room after a while."

Gu Ning brewed two cups of tea and brought them down, then took half a cup of boiled water for Ding Bowen, then sat on the right side of the sofa, and naturally put the towel left by Ding Bowen on his lap, it seemed that the two usually sat like this of.

Seeing Mu Chen staring at the cup of boiled water, he explained, "Bowen can't drink tea."

Muchen "?"

Gu Ning rested his arms on the back of the sofa behind Ding Bowen, which was a protective gesture.He looked at Muchen, "Bowen can't drink tea, coffee, or alcohol. Once he drinks these irritating things, he will suffer from insomnia, all night long."

Mu Chen sat up straight.

Ding Bowen looked at the tense Mu Chen, and smiled wryly, "I probably have a bit of depression or depression, anyway, it belongs to the kind of mental illness. But this is also a lot of genetics, my mother probably has the kind of schizophrenia and mania. .”

Seeing that Mu Chen's eyes were rounded, he smiled again, and said softly, "Mu Chen, you don't know how much I envied you since I was a child. Everyone envied your father for being kind to you, but I envied your mother most who never cared about you. you."

Muchen...

Ding Bowen smiled wryly again, "As for me, since I went to kindergarten, didn't the kindergarten have to judge a little red flower every day? If I didn't get a little red flower, my mother would scold me. Later, as soon as I arrived When I was about to send out little red flowers in the afternoon, I was trembling nervously..."

Gu Ning put down his arm on the sofa, took Ding Bowen into his arms, kissed his hair, Ding Bowen struggled to sit up, and took Gu Ning's hand, "It's okay, don't worry."

Then he looked at Mu Chen, who was stunned, "This is not the scariest thing, do you know that after elementary school, every test and quiz, as long as you score less than [-] points, you will take a duster, our feather duster I have to buy two or three a year, and I dare not wear short-sleeved clothes in summer because there are always purlins on my arms. It wasn’t until the second grade that my dad came back early to find out.”

Muchen...

Ding Bowen lowered his eyes, "I remember my dad was crying that day, and he asked me why I didn't tell him. Actually, I don't know."

Ding Bowen rubbed Gu Ning's hand on his stomach, "My dad would take a tutoring class outside and come home late, and he doesn't like to talk at home. I might not dare to say it. That time they It seemed that there was a lot of trouble, and then my mother stopped beating me, but if I didn't do well in the exam, she would make all kinds of sarcasm...you can't imagine the kind of ugly."

Muchen...

Ding Bowen, "Oh, you may not believe it. When I was five or six years old, I thought about how to die every day. I thought about various ways to die, but I was too timid to implement it."

Mu Chen's eye circles were red, and Gu Ning's tears had already flowed down.This was the second time he heard this passage, but he still couldn't help it, and even thinking about it made his heart ache terribly.

Ding Bowen turned around and hugged his tearful lover, "Look at you, it's over, really, if it wasn't for it, I wouldn't dare to think about it."

The two hugged for a while, and Mu Chen also rubbed his face.

"I used to think that Mr. Hu took too much care of you, and you never seemed to be happy, but I didn't expect...Xiaoyong was subjected to domestic violence since he was a child. I always thought that it was his parents who were uneducated. But your family is all teachers." Mu Chen's voice trembled when he said this.

Ding Bowen smiled wryly, "I only now understand that my mother is knowledgeable and uneducated. Look at Xu Rongrong, Liu Xiaogang and the others, their parents are ordinary workers. In terms of academic qualifications, they are elementary school graduates. Xiaogang's mother seems to be I haven't gone to school yet, but my family lives happily."

Seeing that both of them were staring at him, he said, "Xiaogang and the others were also beaten at home. It was all because of mischief, and it was over after two blows. Liu Xiaogang also said that as long as his father beat him, his mother would quarrel with his father." , this is a normal family..."

He paused again, "Actually, my mother is schizophrenic. She treats me so well outside. When I go to school, she will be the head teacher in person. After school, she will watch me do my homework. When I ask for leave from the college entrance examination, she will also have to give it to me." I deliver food every day, even if I don’t eat, I still have to talk to our teacher about how she has paid for me..."

Muchen...

Finally, there was a trace of hatred in Ding Bowen's voice, "If she hadn't interfered so much, I wouldn't have done so badly in the exam."

He paused again, "I'm not allowed to do any work at home. I can't do anything except study, and I can't play. My dad is also afraid of my mother's madness."

Speaking of this, I smiled lightly, "Besides, my mother's salary is never used for household use, but she has to enroll me in this class and that class... How much is a violin? I have bought violins since elementary school. Over four. There are also various tutorial books, and I have to drink milk and eat fruits every day... My dad can only lead classes outside to make money."

Gu Ning touched his face, "Don't laugh if you don't want to laugh, it's ugly."

Muchen lowered his head, holding the cup with both hands, as if absorbing warmth.

Ding Bowen stopped laughing, but his tone was very flat, "I have been nervous every time I take an exam, worry about what I will lose when I make a choice, and feel anxious when I make the slightest mistake. I am so anxious that I can't sleep all night, ha ha."

Gu Ning's hand tightened again, and Ding Bowen shook it back.

Ding Bowen's tone was still flat, "When I was studying at home, I wanted to go to college and go far away. I applied for the major of water conservancy because I would work in barren mountains and remote places. I am not afraid of hardship, but I am afraid of being in a crowded place. , because I can't help being afraid of making mistakes, and I can't help comparing myself with others..."

Mu Chen looked up at him, unable to speak.

Ding Bowen lowered his eyes, "If I make a little mistake, I feel like I'm a waste... When I first went to college, it seemed that I escaped from the sky all of a sudden, and the result was even more terrifying. What do I do? I can’t learn it anymore, I can’t concentrate for a while, and I can’t understand the class.”

Muchen interrupted him, "Impossible, you were the first in the class in the mid-term exam, and the first in the grade at the end of the semester, I remember it clearly."

Ding Bowen laughed, and this time the smile became warmer, "Do you know how Ah Ning and I started? One day I was walking on the Yangtze River Bridge and met him."

Gu Ning didn't smile, his eyes were still looking at Ding Bowen, "Didn't I minor in psychology? The Yangtze River Bridge is a famous suicide bridge. At that time, the homework assigned by the teacher was to go up the bridge to find people who looked wrong... ..it was Thursday and I saw him staring at the water for a long time without moving..."

Gu Ning has a good impression of this shy junior who has met once. At first, he didn't think so much, but after getting along for a long time, Ding Bowen's excellence and fragility began to make him want to stop.

When Mu Chen saw Ding Bowen listening to Gu Ning's embarrassing stories about his stubbornness and negativity, his eyes were full of gratitude and love.

"At that time, he would go to our school every day, dragging me to run early in the morning. You know, I was the last one in my class in junior high school and senior high school. Half my life was lost after running. Right now he is my biggest source of annoyance, so annoying that nothing else matters."

Gu Ning also laughed, "But you won't refuse others. At first I will dig you under the covers, but later you will go downstairs and wait for me."

Ding Bowen gave him a blank look, "That's not because you started knocking on the door after six o'clock when you were insane. Those in our dormitory couldn't stand it anymore. Every night before going to bed, you would say, 'Please, go down early tomorrow, don't let me go down early. People wait, run well, and remember to bring breakfast when you come back'."

The conversation finally started to become more relaxed. It was only this night that Mu Chen realized that Gu Ning was not from an ordinary family.

The Gu family is a family that can be seen on the TV news. His father and brother have made great achievements in the political, military and business circles, but he is an outlier in the family. He likes to study medicine, not to mention the same sex.

Fortunately, the family is more tolerant, and he is the younger child in this generation, so he does not have to bear the burden of the family, so the family did not force him to do anything, and of course they half gave up on him.

Since he was in college, he left the circle of the capital city, and later worked and settled down in N City, and he would not even choose to visit relatives during the New Year's Day. Now he is just an ordinary intern doctor who is self-sufficient.

Mu Chen understands that they have known each other for four years and Gu Ning keeps taboo about family, but he can't help feeling aggrieved for this outstanding senior brother: the life that should be the pride of heaven, but he just likes someone of the same sex, but he just chose an ordinary job. Occupation is like embarrassing the family.

Gu Ning knew what he was thinking just by looking at his expression, "What's your expression? , but it’s not without pressure. Besides, they didn’t ignore me, how about I can afford to drive a car, buy a house and go abroad?”

Muchen rolled his eyes, "Does your family know about you and Bowen? They won't object, right?"

Gu Ning, "I know, Bowen has been avoiding me, I chased him to France and took him down."

Gu Ning smiled, "I told my family when I came back, and I also made it clear that I will live here in the future, and I will not play the banner of the family outside. When the blog post is ready, I will take him back to see my parents. "

Ding Bowen nodded seriously, "Well, next year at the latest. The project with my teacher is coming to an end. The teacher said that I will be the second signature at that time. I have to work hard to be better so that you can do it."

Gu Ning, "You're very good, really, it's good for me to save face without these, don't put pressure on yourself."

Ding Bowen smiled brightly, "Really?"

Gu Ning also smiled, extremely gentle, "Of course, when have I lied to you?"

......

Muchen, is this a new round of showing affection?

But no matter how serious the self-denial is, if the lover can affirm it over and over again, it will get better, especially if it is such an excellent lover.Thinking of it this way, Ding Bowen was also very lucky.