Mu Chen

130. Regret

Yu Yong went upstairs to wash up, and slept on the custom-made sleep mattress he had just received some time ago.Now he is trying his best to maintain a good schedule, even if he is not sleepy, he will go to bed on time.

I turned off the lights and closed my eyes, but my mind didn't stop at all: This project is completely over, and the follow-up has also been planned. I will invite xx to play mahjong tomorrow, and I need to bring some cash...

I scheduled the next day's work again, but I still didn't feel sleepy.

After a long time, he gave up struggling, got up and turned on the light, took the phone and opened the mailbox.

From the first letter reporting safety at the end of September last year to the last email posting lunch in July this year, there were a total of 82 letters.Although some are very short, and some are just photos of the surrounding scenery, it is almost two letters a week.

His replies were only fourteen, and they were basically concentrated in the previous few months.

What did you think at the time?

Maybe it's because he's used to Mu Chen's tolerance and talkativeness, after all, it was Mu Chen who wrote him many more letters than him in the past.

But in fact, he just felt that Mu Chen didn't understand him, and he was picky about him. In order to avoid disputes, he didn't want to write more, and he comforted himself that he didn't want Mu Chen to worry...

But looking back now, I really wish I could give myself two slaps.

Yu Yong often feels absurd recently. He doesn't understand why he and Muchen have come to this point, and he doesn't understand why he still doesn't change. What's the use of just being sad?

But he is still unable to act. He has always been proud of his execution ability, but now he always finds reasons to wait until he has some achievements, and wait until he has earned 1000 million, although he knows in his heart that that person doesn't care about these things.

He read the email twice again, and couldn't sleep even more. He hesitated for a long time and wrote one, "Brother, how are you doing? Is the course busy? Can you go back to China this year during the Christmas holiday? Then I will go to N City to find you. You deal with it."

After thinking about it, I added four more words, "I miss you very much." Then I sent it out.

After not getting a reply for a long time, Yu Yong began to feel cold, and he began to consider the feasibility of going to Paris.

He hasn't called Jiang Cheng in the past few months, but he sent something twice, one was millet soba noodles, and the other was a sheep transported by air.

Jiang Cheng called him when he received something, but he only asked about his recent situation and didn't mention Mu Chen, Yu Yong didn't dare to ask more because he had a ghost in his heart.

But seeing that Jiang Cheng treats him as before, he thinks that Mu Chen didn't tell anyone about their disappearance, so he feels at ease.

He had several phone calls with Gu Ning, all of which were related to work. After the call, he also asked about Mu Chen vaguely. Every time Gu Ning just said, "He's fine, didn't you guys contact me?"Let him not dare to ask further questions.

But in his mind, Muchen should have studied for a Ph.D. in France.

He can't speak a few words in English, and he doesn't even know a word of French. Now he regrets that he didn't go to N City to chase someone during the summer vacation.

From this day on, Yu Yong would call and send an email to Muchen almost every day.

However, the phone is always turned off, and the emails are all unread - they all have the other party's mailbox number and password, and they can see the read and write status.

At first, Yu Yong just thought that Mu Chen was angry, no matter how frightened he was, he did not believe that this person would break up with him just because of this.

When he hadn't contacted him, he always felt that the person was there, but when he wanted to contact him but couldn't find him, he became more and more anxious and panicked. Finally, he called Ding Bowen that night.

Ding Bowen was a little surprised, "Xiaoyong?"

Yu Yong rubbed his nose, "Brother Bowen, can you contact my brother? Let him answer my call. He turned off his phone when I called. I originally wanted to go to France to find him, but today I asked the travel agency and the itinerary was ten minutes. If I don’t talk about it for a few days, Paris won’t arrange self-defeating, I’m afraid my brother won’t want to see me.”

Ding Bowen sighed, "Xiaoyong, when did you start contacting Muchen?"

Yu Yong was a little unnatural, "Just last week."

Ding Bowen was a little surprised, "Didn't Ah Ning tell you? Muchen is not in Paris, he arrived in Niger in September, as a doctor without borders."

Yu Yong!

Ding Bowen said softly, "I don't know what happened to you, why you didn't contact him for several months, and he didn't mention anything to us when he left."

Yu Yong's voice was a bit difficult, "Where is Niger? And what is Doctors Without Borders? Didn't he study for a doctorate in France? Why did he suddenly?"

Ding Bowen quickly said, "Don't worry, Xiaoyong, Niger is in Africa. Doctors Without Borders is the world's largest independent medical rescue organization, which was first established in France. It has two kinds of rescue operations: emergency rescue projects and long-term rescue projects. The content involves several aspects of natural disasters, refugees, conflicts and epidemics. Mu Chen is now participating in a rescue project for child malnutrition, which belongs to urban medicine and social assistance. His safety is guaranteed, but The living conditions must have been difficult.”

Yu Yong's throat was tight, "Brother Bowen, do you have his new phone number?"

Ding Bowen nodded, "Yes, I'll send it to you later, but the signal over there is very poor, the phone is often unreachable, and Mu Chen also communicates with us with a lot of emails. Don't worry, he is doing well now. There are pictures from him, do you want to send them to you?"

Yu Yong nodded, "Thank you, can you send me a copy of all his emails? I want to see it."

Ding Bowen sighed, "No problem, I'll post it right away. Xiaoyong, is there anything you can't talk about? Think about how difficult it is for you to go this way."

Yu Yong said without waiting for him to finish, "I know, brother Bowen, it's all my fault."

Ding Bowen sighed again, "Xiaoyong, sometimes things are not absolutely right or wrong, it just depends on your standpoint. I understand the pressure you are under in this relationship. I have told Mu Chen before, because I, like you, get too much in return and too little in return, so we feel fearful and uneasy. I think that Aning and Muchen may not quite understand this point."

Yu Yong, "..."

Ding Bowen, "But Xiaoyong, no matter what, life is a long way to go. Always remember why you walked in the first place, and don't lose yourself while walking."

Yu Yong, "Thank you, Brother Bowen. But this time it's all my fault."

Ding Bowen, "...Don't think too much about it. When we get in touch, we can talk about it. I will also contact him and ask him to write back to you. Nothing is difficult."

Yu Yong, "Well, thank you."

Yu Yong sat at the table blankly, and Ding Bowen's email came after a while.

There were five letters in total. The first letter talked about the resettlement situation when he first arrived in the place. The second and third letters talked about the lack of local medical resources and various cases. One of them was written very long, but he couldn't read a lot of terms in the middle. I understand, but I can feel that Muchen is anxious.

In the fourth letter, Mu Chen's mood seemed to ease, and he talked about his main work now.

The last one was sent two weeks ago, with no text, only a photo with five children:

He was surrounded by several dark children whose eyes and teeth could only be seen, they were all laughing, Mu Chen was wearing a white coat, holding two dark children in his arms, smiling with indescribable tenderness.

Yu Yong felt that he would die all at once.

At this moment, he missed this person so desperately, but thousands of miles away.

This person has compassion, benevolence, and a clear mind. How can he say to himself, "You have to be content, Yu Yong, he has treated you to the extreme", and on the other hand ask him to understand his tiredness. Paying his low for his business means?

He regretted it.

I regret it more than the first time I hurt him.

On the other side, Ding Bowen put the phone on the bedside table, glanced at Gu Ning who was reading beside him, "Why didn't you tell him?"

Gu Ning didn't look up, turned the book over, "Why did you tell him?"

Ding Bowen, "..."

Gu Ning looked at his young man, although he was 30 years old, he was still as pure as he first met, couldn't help but chuckled,

"Don't you think Yu Yong is too young? I mean, although he has grown up very fast, Xiaochen is still too tired. Both of you are used to giving and accommodating. I am afraid that Yu Yong will forget after a long time. If you don't break, you won't stand Well, even a little conflict will let him know the seriousness in his heart."

Ding Bowen disapproved, "Aren't you afraid of breaking up?"

Gu Ning smiled, closed the book and put it on the bedside table, "How come? Xiaochen is his life, just like you are my life. How about I help him like this?"

Ding Bowen was puzzled, "Then you still..."

Gu Ning kissed his lover, and explained vaguely, "Separate once, let him have a long memory, for the person who can't wrong him. Don't think that the person who is yours will have a chance to make up, and you can hurt him."

Ding Bowen lit two rows of wax for Yu Yong in Gu Ning's increasingly fiery embrace.

In the middle of the night in City Y, Yu Yong sat at the table for a long time, when the computer screen went black, he turned it on again and again.

There was only one photo on the screen, the one smiling among the children.

It took him a long time to start Baidu Doctors Without Borders, Niger, Africa, refugees, malaria, AIDS, schistosomiasis... Read every related article until dawn.

Rubbing his tired eyes, Yu Yong wrote today's new email:

"Brother, I found out about your recent situation from Brother Bowen today. I let you down so much. I didn't want to say sorry to you, but I hurt you again. I miss you very much. Write me back."

Turn off the phone, take a shower, and stay up all night without feeling sleepy.

He goes out for a run, eats breakfast, goes to the construction site, goes to the bank, makes appointments on the phone... Little by little, he implements yesterday's plan.

No matter how many things happen, life goes on.

He is not qualified to complain, let alone stop.

Yu Yong himself was also surprised, he didn't take a bite, and tried to go to bed early and get up early, even if he couldn't sleep anymore, he would go to bed at the same time, and carried out the regular work and rest required by Mu Chen, but he still lost more than ten catties quickly.

Muchen never replied to the letter, he asked Ding Bowen and said it was normal.

Muchen himself has a heavy workload, and he also has the task of training local doctors. He often goes to and from areas without signal, so let him wait.