[Twilight] Bright sunshine

Before the Karen family came, I didn't know that those legends and dark stories turned out to be an alternative reality.I don't even know that the place where I live is just a middle-aged aunt's dream about love. — May 2003, 5

Forks is a place soaked in rain and moss all year round, without sunshine all year round, and the hazy sky makes the main colors here never bright and colorful.The only color here is emerald green, which is full of desolation and represents vitality. In Fox, it always gives people a kind of pressure that is so depressing that it is about to form a sense of substance.

I need the cloudy sky here, but I don't really like the green here.

Every time I drive through the forest in my second-hand royal blue Ford, I can see towering Douglas firs looming in the pale green mist, and green-to-blue mountains strewn with conifers.Some wild deer occasionally appear beside the road. Maybe I should thank the unique cultural customs here. No one will easily shoot these cute forest animals and send them to the table.

I don't know how the trajectory of life is extended. I have read many books about past and present lives, and I have seen many plausible reincarnation stories, but it doesn't seem to be of much help to me.When I was eight years old, I put aside those weird life topics, and planned to live seriously.

I remember that I was Chinese in my previous life. From the moment I decided to let go of where I came from, the fact that I was Chinese was a matter of my previous life.

I fell ill when I was young, and died after tossing around in a hospital bed for several years. At that time, my relatives and friends had already given up my life before me.I remember when I closed my eyes on the hospital bed, only the warm afternoon sun outside the window climbed onto my face, gently accompanying me through the last journey of my life.

Ordinary life in the last few years seems to have condensed the essence of all the ups and downs in life, grief and suffering, facing life and death and physical decay, as well as the pace of everyone leaving and my own struggle not to give up. A ray of sunshine calmly ushers in eternal sleep, and a lifetime of life falls like this.

I actually felt no regrets, even relief, when I died.I think my short life was unremarkable, but after I got sick, I finally ushered in the maturity and sublimation of my life self. At the end, I could even hear the moment when my heart was perfect and the flowers bloomed brilliantly.

When he woke up again, he was in a warm embrace, with blood everywhere, and he didn't know where he was.A woman kept touching my hair, she was pressed under the car, and I was tightly protected in her arms.

I don't know that a person can bleed so much, like a broken faucet, no one can stop the blood from rushing out.The woman is a foreigner, with fair skin, blond hair with broken glass and black-red liquid, three-dimensional and beautiful facial features.I heard her murmuring weakly: "Claire, baby, mommy loves you, let's pick up daddy, pick up..."

I found that my face was full of tears mixed with the smell of blood, but I still couldn't figure out what was going on. I just accepted that I was dead, but when I opened my eyes, I moved again.

Touching this woman's face with great effort, the paleness on the verge of death was trembling, and I comforted her, "It's okay, someone will come to save you."

The woman's eyes gradually fell silent, and I found that my tears began to flow sideways again, but I was not so weak that I would cry in fright when I saw a stranger get hurt. My body and mind didn't seem to fit at all.

I muttered to myself: "Someone will come to save you." After a long silence, I said: "Save us."

I was the only one saved in the end, and they called me Claire Miller.They are all foreigners, and they all speak English. My English is not good, but the miracle is that I understand everyone's messy words, roaring, comforting, and pitiful whispers.

It was a strange and long dream, and sharp and heavy pain began at the injured place.I lay back on the hospital bed again, the medical environment was better than before, and the severe physical pain was not the kind of burnout that was consumed by death until it collapsed. I became fresh and strong again.

This is an indescribably beautiful feeling, like the soul is slowly merging with a body full of vitality. The injury from the car accident stimulated my confused nerve perception, and I really felt the severe pain of being alive, so clear to me Can't resist running away.

The pain comes from shattered bones, internal wailing, and mental reorganization.

The comfort and gossip that came and went, I knew that I had become a six-year-old American girl, which made me panic for a few days, worrying about whether I was having a psychotic attack, just kidding myself.Slowly accepting the status quo, he learned that the little girl's father was a Washington state police officer who was involved in a jewelry robbery while patrolling the highway and was shot three times by the criminal and died on the spot.

My mother is the woman I saw when I woke up. After hearing that the police station notified her, she was so excited that she took her six-year-old daughter into the car and stepped on the gas pedal madly to go to the hospital to see her husband. A car accident happened.

Overnight, this once perfect family of three fell to pieces.

I was left alone, living again as an orphan.

During that time, many people in police uniforms came to the hospital to take care of me. They smiled at me very hard, told me stories and jokes, and brought a lot of toys and plush dolls that children like, skirts and new shoes that girls like. .

I stared at them in a daze, like a piece of wood, because my English is really bad, even if it is strange, I can understand these mixed with all kinds of American slang, civilian humor, etc. It is a foreign language with complex words connected in series, and I am not sure whether it is this language when I speak. I am more inclined to speak Mandarin or Chinese when I speak.

So they thought I was frightened and aphasic. Even the child psychologist came to build me blocks every day and sang me lullabies softly.

Then a man appeared in a hurry. He was covered in dust and dust. He seemed to have left his luggage by the door of the ward just after he got off the plane.A very typical American, with deep-set eyes, a thin face, and a tired face under short dark brown hair.His demeanor lacked the warmth and spontaneity that characterizes the people of this place, and instead was a little clumsy and rigorous.He seemed a bit at a loss for me, "I'm your uncle, I only know about your mother, I really... damn it, I left you here alone for so long, forgive uncle, Claire, don't be sad."

The man who said it was my uncle stretched out his hand and held me in his arms carefully. He was afraid that something fragile would be frightened and said Wen Wen: "It's okay, it's all over, child, I will take care of you. Your parents will definitely not want you This way, you're a good boy, and you'll be fine, Claire."

I feel that the temperature of this embrace is very warm, the same temperature as the embrace of the mother who is protecting Claire.For some reason, I called out softly: "Uncle?" I was a little uncertain, it was English, and I thought I must have pronounced the word correctly.

The man's arms that hugged me trembled, and then he hugged me even harder, and then his body shook violently.He choked up and said, "It's uncle, your mother loves you very much, Claire, she really loves you."

I know that what all mothers love most will always be their children.

But for an older brother, losing his dear sister is also a kind of heart-wrenching pain.

Parting from life to death is always the greatest inability to see through and let go of human beings.

I stretched out my hand to hug him back, and said in a shrill voice that I wasn't used to, "She loves you too."

I stayed in the hospital for half a month, and Uncle Charlie took care of me in the hospital.I am grateful to him, I am not the real Claire, I treat all kindness to me as kindness, please remember.

When he got better, he took me to Forks, Washington, where he had lived half his life.It was raining in Fox on the day I came, and when passing through the temperate forest, I saw that the trees and stones soaked in the rain were covered with a thick layer of dark green.The boundless mountains and trees are as long and illusory as a dream.

The Quileute River rushes through the ancient forest filled with emerald green fog, as if singing along the way.

This is a green planet soaked in rainwater. I didn't expect to live here for many years.

Even before that family came here, I didn't think of this familiar-sounding place, which was different from any place name in the world.

The author has something to say:

Touch your chin.The moon is full and the Mid-Autumn Festival is here.Come up and have a look.