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"Luo Xuan, I..." Xu Xiaotian was speechless, the words Luo Xuan said so easily made him a little overwhelmed, so he simply stood up, walked around the room twice, and finally choked out a sentence Come on, "I want to smoke."

"Let's do it." Luo Xuan sank into the sofa, spinning the pen in his hand.

Xu Xiaotian stood in front of the window and took out a cigarette. He didn't dare to seriously think about it. Back then, when he knelt down to his parents and said "I'm not gay" out of fear, it actually brought Luo Xuan, who had borne all the pressure by himself. How much damage.He couldn't even face Luo Xuan in the next few years, he didn't make phone calls, he didn't go to QQ, he thought about many possibilities, but the only thing he didn't think about was that Luo Xuan would say it so plainly, making his heart twist into a ball if.

Whether Luo Xuan has let go, is already desperate, or has really faded away.

Xu Xiaotian felt that what he was smoking was a fake cigarette, and it burned too damn fast. Before he had taken two puffs, one cigarette was gone. He aimed at the trash can on the sidewalk downstairs, and flicked the cigarette butt over. Next to the trash can.

"Luo Xuan." Xu Xiaotian turned around, looked at Luo Xuan who was concentrating on turning his pen, and walked in front of him.

"Huh?" Luo Xuan looked up at him.

"I told you I'm sorry once," Xu Xiaotian looked into his eyes, "but I found out that I'm sorry is bullshit, Maoyong didn't use it..."

"Ah," Luo Xuan put down his pen and laughed, "Did I make you feel this way?"

"That's right, I'm expressing my feelings."

"Do you want to take back that sorry?"

"No," Xu Xiaotian bent down, put his hands on the back of the sofa, and surrounded Luo Xuan, "I want to start over."

Luo Xuan's drooping eyelashes flickered, and he raised his head to look at Xu Xiaotian, as if he didn't hear what he said, with a confused expression on his face: "What?"

"Start again." Xu Xiaotian was asked by him, and he almost didn't have the courage to say it a second time. How fucked up these four words are. He was very touched when he said them. This is the most fucking word in the world.

Luo Xuan's answer made him stunned.

"We didn't have time to start," Luo Xuan said softly, his eyelashes blocked his eyes, Xu Xiaotian couldn't see his eyes clearly, "The end is before the beginning, isn't it?"

Such an answer stabbed Xu Xiaotian hard, he felt his head was a bit confused, and he couldn't sort it out after a long time.Although Luo Xuan's answer was once again beyond his expectation, he did not intend to give up, he gritted his teeth: "Okay, let's start now."

Maybe this answer was unexpected to Luo Xuan, he was stunned for a moment, looked at Xu Xiaotian fixedly, and suddenly laughed, he stretched out his hand to touch Xu Xiaotian's face lightly, the smile gradually faded: "You have changed. "

"Really?" Xu Xiaotian's voice was a little hoarse, and he held Luo Xuan's hand resting on his face, "You don't like me like this?"

"like."

Xu Xiaotian hadn't looked at Luo Xuan's face so closely for a long time, he was a little less childish and a little more mature than he remembered, but his attraction to him was stronger, and he suddenly felt a little short of breath.

The temperature of Luo Xuan's palm made his heart beat faster, he didn't think much, he lowered his head and kissed her.

Four years ago, he and Luo Xuan had a half-kiss, just lightly touching their upper lips, breathing each other's breath in the dark, just for a moment, this half-kiss was like the prelude to a nightmare, making Xu Xiaotian feel for himself The subsequent withdrawal regretted it for four years.

Now he touched Luo Xuan's lips again, as sweet and warm as before.He knelt down on the sofa, held Luo Xuan's face in his hands, and kissed deeply, this time, it would not be like before, this was a kiss he was going to give wholeheartedly.

Luo Xuan's breath surrounded him, he smelled countless faint fragrances wafting in his memories, he could feel the tip of Luo Xuan's tongue trembling slightly, gently responding to his exploration.He felt that he might be a little out of control, he slowly pressed his body over, and the two of them fell on the sofa.

Before he could make any further movements, Luo Xuan lightly bit his tongue.

"Hmm..." Xu Xiaotian frowned, let go of Luo Xuan's lips, and squeezed his chin with his hands, "Why bite me?"

"What are you doing?" Luo Xuan lay on the sofa, looking at him quietly, with mist in his eyes.

"Huh? Playing hooligans?"

Luo Xuan smiled, and gently pushed him: "I see...Xiaotian, give me some time."

Xu Xiaotian lay on Luo Xuan's body without moving, he buried his face in Luo Xuan's chest, he could feel Luo Xuan's heartbeat.

"Good," he said.

"Get up, I'm crushed to death, and I still smell like cigarettes." Luo Xuan scratched his hair.

Xu Xiaotian smiled a little embarrassedly and sat up.Luo Xuan was still lying on the sofa, seeing Xu Xiaotian staring at the TV in a daze, he poked his leg with his finger: "You have really changed a lot."

"What do you mean?" Xu Xiaotian grabbed his hand.

"I don't know, anyway, it's not the same as before, I can't tell what it is." Luo Xuan looked at him with closed eyes.

"Have you become handsome?"

"It used to be pretty handsome, but now it's just like that."

"That means I'm becoming more and more temperamental?"

"Ah, the ruffian temperament is about to reach the highest peak in history."

"Damn, what is that, if you don't like it, you have to tell me so I can change back."

"It's pretty good, you don't need to change back," Luo Xuan smiled, "Could it be because you haven't shaved?"

Xu Xiaotian stroked his chin, and laughed aloud: "Fuck, I haven't shaved for two days, did I prick you just now?"

"Grow a goatee," Luo Xuan gestured with his hands, "the one half a foot long..."

"It was left by you artist." Xu Xiaotian stood up and looked for a razor in his luggage, "I have a question that I have never figured out. You said, the half-foot-long goatee, when he sleeps at night, Is the beard on the outside of the quilt or inside the quilt?"

Luo Xuan was stunned for a moment, and couldn't help laughing out loud. Xu Xiaotian thought about it and felt that the question was a little silly, so he was happy to follow, and the two of them laughed for a long time before stopping.

"Tired from laughing." Luo Xuan sat up and rubbed his face.

Xu Xiaotian looked at him, it had been a long time since the two of them were having fun together, he seemed to have returned to the time when the two were talking nonsensical things on the sunny grass In the middle of the day, his nose suddenly became a little sore, he quickly turned around, and began to shave in front of the mirror.

Amidst the buzzing of the razor, he heard the music, the music of Doraemon, and was stunned for a moment, then heard Luo Xuan answering the phone behind him: "Hello."

Xu Xiaotian saw that Luo Xuan had turned down the volume of the TV. He turned off the razor, and heard a man on the phone, speaking in an unusually angry voice. On the hand, at least ten centimeters away from the ear.

"I said you just agree and forget it, isn't it just to take a set of photos, and it's not that you don't give money." The other half shouted.

"No." Luo Xuan showed no expression.

"I said you don't want to be arrogant, you can make money if you have money, right? They just want you to help take pictures..." The man continued to shout, but Xu Xiaotian behind him couldn't hear clearly. In short, it sounded like they wanted Luo Xuan to help take pictures .

"If I want to play Qinggao, I won't hang out with you." Luo Xuan was still not in a hurry, but his tone was very repulsive. "I just don't want to take this kind of photo. Anyone who can take this kind of photo is more professional than me."

Still trying to persuade him, Luo Xuan hung up the phone and threw it on the sofa.

Xu Xiaotian continued to shave and looked at Luo Xuan in the mirror. In his impression, Luo Xuan was always gentle, speaking neither in a hurry nor slow, always with a smile on his face. He had never seen Luo Xuan speak like this before. A little impatient in the cold.

Luo Xuan said that he had changed, but he didn't know if Luo Xuan had also changed, or if he didn't know Luo Xuan enough.

"When you still look like this." Xu Xiaotian said to Luo Xuan in the mirror.

"It's so annoying." Luo Xuan stepped on the coffee table, "Someone wants to take a set of exterior scenes of the villa, but I haven't done it before, so I must be asked."

"You now..." Xu Xiaotian wanted to ask this question all the time, but he didn't know how to ask it.Because of that incident, Luo Xuan dropped out of high school in his third year, and he didn't know anything about what happened after that. The heavy guilt made him dare not easily ask about Luo Xuan's situation during this period.

"Ok?"

"What are you doing?" Xu Xiaotian gritted his teeth and asked.

"Didn't I tell you to paint and take photos," Luo Xuan replied casually, "Spend as much as you earn, earn when you have no money, and rest when you have money."

Xu Xiaotian was silent, holding the razor in his hand, and stroked his chin back and forth.

"The chin is even sharpened." Luo Xuan smiled.

"Damn." Xu Xiaotian turned off the razor and threw it back into the box.

"Laughing day."

"Ok?"

"Come here." Luo Xuan patted the sofa beside him.

Xu Xiaotian walked over and sat down, watching the silent TV.

"There's something I need to explain to you, but I haven't had a chance to explain it clearly," Luo Xuan turned to look at him sideways, "I don't know what you think about the past, but it's not as serious as you imagined."

"What?" Xu Xiaotian was stunned for a moment, he didn't expect Luo Xuan to attack so directly without warning.

"Someone feels sorry for me, this kind of feeling is not good...No one owes anyone anything," Luo Xuan put his hands on his shoulders and squeezed, "As long as my choice is to admit, the rest will be the same , What you said and how you did it at the time is the same to me."

Xu Xiaotian's hands trembled a little, Luo Xuan's words revealed all the past and spread it out in front of him, the kiss in the classroom, the confusion when the lights were turned on, the teacher's shock, and the parents' anger all came out all at once.He closed his eyes, and there seemed to be the sharp pain in his knees when he knelt down.

You owe him all your life.

These words from his friend have haunted him for four years like poison, now Luo Xuan's words have made him collapse, Luo Xuan doesn't need his guilt, he may have chosen a responsibility from the very beginning...

"I regret not being with you all the time at that time, I never thought I would avoid like that." Xu Xiaotian sighed and turned his head, he couldn't look at Luo Xuan, he was afraid that he would not be able to help but cry for nothing Nose, "I don't know how you lived, I dare not think about it."

"It's much better than I imagined." Luo Xuan smiled.

"Have you ever hated me?" Xu Xiaotian couldn't help asking, Luo Xuan's indifference made him feel a little uncertain.

"Of course, I wish I could go to your house and drag you out to chop you up a few times." Luo Xuan gestured to chop him up a few times with his hand, "Later, I felt that I would feel bad if I hacked you to death, so I didn't go."

Xu Xiaotian turned around and looked at Luo Xuan, and said seriously: "I really won't hide this time, I've been hiding for four years, and it's enough, no matter how stupid a person is, it's time for him to perform supernormally once... you want Time, I will give you time, one year, two years, five years, ten years, even a lifetime..."

"I will always be behind you, you can see me when you turn around." Xu Xiaotian said.