Su Wei

This day Su Wei finished teaching at school but didn't go home. When Lin Yinran got off work, he stopped him: "Mr. Lin, are you free later?"

Lin Yinran was very pleasantly surprised: "I'm not mistaken, Dolores, you took the initiative to ask me out?"

Su Wei was very calm: "Mr. Lin, I want to ask you some questions. You know..."

Lin Yinran interrupted him with a sly smile: "No matter what you want to ask, please treat me to dinner first."

Su Wei was silent for two seconds: "Okay."

The two came to a Chinese restaurant with a quiet environment. Su Wei took the initiative to take the menu and ordered a few side dishes that Lin Yinran liked.Lin Yinran looked at him with a smile on his cheek: "You are still so considerate."

Lin Yinran has one-eighth of Nordic blood. Although his appearance is almost the same as that of traditional Chinese people, his eyes are very beautiful, like brilliant brown gemstones. Someone once said that his eyes are blindly hypnotizing good medicine.He and Su Wei met in the United States. One studied psychoanalysis and the other studied economics. From the third year of enrollment, Lin Yinran began to pursue Su Wei crazily. After returning to China, he entered the same university to teach for Su Wei—in fact, he In terms of family affairs and abilities, this is tantamount to experiencing life at the grassroots level.

Su Wei stared down at his fingers: "Ms. Lin..."

"Call me Jack."

"...Jack, I remember you like growing plants very much. Do you know the symbol of chrysanthemums?"

Lin Yinran frowned beautifully: "There are many different types of chrysanthemums. Is it a problem of one of your patients?"

Su Wei nodded: "He is afraid of Bai Jianyun. But he bought this pot of chrysanthemums himself. I want to know what kind of associations chrysanthemums will make people have?"

"Bai Jianyun? Nobility, holiness, and whiteness... It's hard to say. If you analyze specific cases, maybe this patient suddenly starts to be afraid of white, or maybe he suddenly feels sensitive to the strip-shaped stamens..." Lin Yinran paused suddenly, and asked with an unkind expression : "Is that the kid named Big Yellow?"

Su Wei was very helpless and tried to avoid this topic: "What else? Is there no special symbol?"

Lin Yinran opened the tablecloth on the table: "Dolores! What is his relationship with you! You asked me out because of him!"

Su Wei held his forehead with a headache: "Jack, he is my patient..."

"Hey!" Lin Yinran was very angry: "It's true that he is pursuing you, but I saw it with my own eyes and heard it with my own eyes! You ignore me all day long, and it's rare that you take the initiative to find me because of my rival in love. Oh, Su Wei, you make me sad!"

Su Wei stared at his slender fingers, and after a long time said with difficulty: "About that hypnosis, I'm sorry...

Lin Yinran calmed down: "It's not about hypnosis. Honey, I'm sober. I know your bullshit theory of psychological suggestion, but I didn't accept any psychological suggestion. As I said, it was just a joke. I You didn’t take it seriously, but you did.”

Su Wei shook his head wearily: "Let's talk about this later. I am more concerned about the question I asked you now."

Lin Yinran sighed: "I don't know why that little kid is afraid of chrysanthemums. I don't know him at all. This can only be observed and discovered by yourself. I can only say that different people have different understandings of Bai Jianyun, maybe Its wrapped pistils represent secrets—I can't give you any definitive answers."

After Su Wei returned home, he sat in the study for a long time in a daze.

Rhubarb sat near him, holding a book related to hypnosis with relish, seeing the rise, he couldn't help moving to Su Wei and asked, "Doctor, why don't you use hypnotherapy on me? I think," he shook Shaking the book in his hand, "These contents are really amazing!"

Su Wei shook his head: "It's not as easy as you think, Rhubarb. I don't like hypnotizing people very much. If talking therapy can cure patients, I'm more inclined to use this method."

Rhubarb asked persistently, "Why? Isn't hypnosis easier to access the patient's subconscious mind?"

Su Wei frowned slightly: "I...had a bad hypnosis experience...it was a failure."

Da Huang pouted: "So what, failure is the mother of success, so we must accumulate experience."

Su Wei smiled wryly.

Da Huang raised his neck and looked at Su Wei sympathetically: "Doctor, I finally believe that you are a bad psychiatrist." Before Su Wei could reply, he quickly stated his position: "Of course, I won't dislike you! It's best You are too bad, so you can only treat me in the future."

Su Wei looked at him calmly, and after a long time reached out and gently stroked his hair.Rhubarb's hair is very soft and feels very good to the touch. Su Wei fell in love with the touch after only doing this a few times.This was actually a very intimate gesture, which violated Su Wei's principle that he should keep a certain distance from Rhubarb, but at the same time, he comforted himself that this would reduce Rhubarb's wariness of him, so he let himself do it.

A week after the last test, Su Wei asked Da Huang to draw a picture of "House Tree People".This time, the paintings drawn by Rhubarb are obviously different from the previous ones. There are more doors and windows in the house, and the thickness of the lines is even.

Su Wei only glanced at it, and immediately frowned enough to kill a fly.He shook the painting in his hand, and asked with a bad expression, "Have you checked it?"

Rhubarb looked like a child who did something wrong, lowered his head and muttered: "I, I was curious, so I checked this test on the Internet..."

Su Wei shook his head and sighed: "You know this test too well, and your psychological defense mechanism will make relevant disguises. Unfortunately, I am not a good psychoanalyst. If you do something to this level, I will re-analyze you. heart."

Da Huang blushed with embarrassment: "I'm sorry...doctor, I will hold back my curiosity in the future."

Su Wei said: "It seems that I will forbid you to teach yourself anything related to psychology. You are very smart. If you become smarter than me, I can't see through your disguise, and I can no longer treat you."

Rhubarb shook his head again and again: "I won't watch it, and I won't watch it again."

Su Wei gently rubbed his hair, trying to restore his tone of gentleness: "Okay, I'm going to school, do you want to go with me?"

Rhubarb nodded.

The two changed their clothes and went out to the school.

Su Wei had the habit of washing his hands before class, and it happened that Rhubarb also wanted to go to the bathroom, so the two came to the bathroom of the teaching building together.

There was a boy in the bathroom with his back to them, and happened to take off his long-sleeved T-shirt, revealing a dense blue pattern on his shoulders and arms.Rhubarb and Su Wei had only seen people covered in tattoos like this in Hong Kong underworld blockbusters, and they couldn't help but gasp at the same time.A trace of panic appeared on Rhubarb's face, and he took three steps back.

The boy turned sideways, squinted at them, put his arm under the faucet, and explained calmly: "Just now I took the fluid mechanics exam."

I saw that the "tattoos" on his arm gradually faded away during scrubbing.Taking a closer look, the "tattoos" all over her body are actually dense formulas.

Su Wei didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and wondered about Rhubarb's aggressive reaction.

The boy finished washing one arm, looked up at the glasses, and was stunned for a moment: "...Lu Xiao!"

The boy who copied the formula all over his body was named Ren Xiaoqian.

Su Wei hurried to the grass after class, and saw Ren Xiaoqian and Da Huang lying side by side on the lawn, both in a daze.

Su Wei stepped forward, Ren Xiaoqian got up from the ground unhurriedly: "Teacher Su." Da Huang jumped up happily: "Teacher!"

Su Weizhi took Rhubarb away and talked with Ren Xiaoqian alone for a while.Ren Xiaoqian and Da Huang live very close, they are in the same school for junior high school and high school, Ren Xiaoqian is a few years older than Da Huang.In Ren Xiaoqian's words: "I may be his only friend."

Ren Xiaoqian felt a little cold and unsmiling. When Su Wei first met him, he felt that he was a very serious person, but after more contact with him, he found that he was just not expressive, but he was also cold and humorous.

Ren Xiaoqian put his hands in his pockets, and looked a little sad when recalling the past: "At that time, before his father passed away, he was already very cold, he didn't talk much, and never participated in any group activities. Later, after his father passed away, his temper almost disappeared. No one can stand it. He doesn't like to talk, doesn't like to listen to others, if someone disturbs him, he will not politely drive them away or run away by himself. Probably because I don't talk much, he talks to me Get closer."

Su Wei couldn't feel his rhubarb's hostility from him, so he ruled out the possibility that rhubarb was afraid of him.However, when Da Huang saw him for the first time, he was very frightened... Su Wei turned his eyes and caught a glimpse of the unwashed blue ink stain on Ren Xiaoqian's arm, and suddenly remembered the strange scar on Da Huang's tailbone.

"Did his stepmother abuse him?"

"Not before his father died. After that... often."

On the way back, Su Wei stopped the car a few times to buy something. When he took out a bouquet of white chrysanthemums from a flower shop, Rhubarb, who was sitting in the car, laughed exaggeratedly, "Doctor, what are you doing?" do what."

Su Wei got into the carriage, and calmly handed him the bouquet: "For you."

Rhubarb took it in surprise: "Give it to me? Doctor... have you finally found out that mine is healed?"

Su Wei frowned and observed his expression: "How do you feel?"

Rhubarb lowered his head pretending to be shy and fiddled with the chrysanthemum, and suddenly leaned up to kiss Su Wei like lightning, lowered his eyes again, stroked the chrysanthemum, and smiled without saying a word.

Su Wei's complexion changed several times, and finally he said coolly through his teeth: "This is a chrysanthemum."

Rhubarb smiled slyly: "These are the flowers the doctor gave me."

After a stalemate for a long time, Su Wei finally cursed "fuck" unbearably, stepped on the accelerator and drove away.

When he got home, Su Wei found a bouquet of bright roses at the door of his house. Frowning, he picked it up and looked through it, but he couldn't find any words or signatures left by the flower-giver.

Rhubarb approached unhappily, a handful of white chrysanthemums in his hand were overshadowed by the delicate roses: "Doctor, who gave this to you, the bad policeman or the bad teacher?"

Su Wei didn't care who the flower came from, and threw it into the trash can after entering the door.Rhubarb, who was still frowning just now, immediately cheered up.

When Su Wei came out of the bathroom, he saw that Da Huang had found a glass vase from nowhere, and was carefully inserting the bouquet of chrysanthemums into the vase.

Su Wei frowned: "Throw it away."

Rhubarb immediately put the vase into his arms: "Don't throw it away!"

Su Wei endured his patience and said, "Throw it away, it's a bug."

Rhubarb still insisted: "Don't lose it."

Su Wei impatiently entangled with him, indifferently bypassed him and walked into the study, and drew an X on the words chrysanthemum and white written in the notebook.

After a while, Rhubarb came in and squatted down at Su Wei's feet pitifully: "Well, doctor, I admit that I know that you sent me flowers just to test me. But I really like you."

Su Wei sighed: "What kind of like?"

"My heart beats so fast when I'm with the doctor, I'm going to peek at the doctor all the time, I want to be around the doctor all the time. When I'm cooking at home, thinking the doctor can eat what I cook, I'll I'm happy and not tired at all."

Su Wei shook his head: "Dahuang, you are sexual empathy..."

Da Huang suddenly jumped up and hugged Su Wei's neck, pressed his lips up, and pried open his teeth with the tip of his tongue and rushed in.Su Wei was probably in a daze, letting him kiss for more than ten seconds before pushing him away.

Da Huang sat down on the ground, his lips trembling slightly: "I'm sorry...but Su Wei, I fell in love with you at first sight! Before I came back with you, I didn't even know what kind of psychiatrist you are!"

It took a long time for Su Wei to get up and walk to the balcony, leaving Da Huang with a straight back: "As a psychiatrist, you can't accept the patient's feelings - the psychiatrist and the patient can only get married after five years of treatment. If you still have your current relationship after five years, I can give you a chance."

"Five years..." Da Huang smiled wryly: "Doctor, you are just playing me off. Well, five years is five years, I have such confidence."

It wasn't until Rhubarb left that Su Wei said to himself mockingly: "Love at first sight? Does such a ridiculous thing really exist?"

Every once in a while Su Wei would check Rhubarb's notebook to see his recorded dreams and some vague ideas that he thought were valuable.

In the beginning, Rhubarb had dreams of being chased by strange monsters, but later his dreams became more and more messy, and there were almost no paragraphs.

Da Huang looked curiously at the expression of Su Wei who was reading the notes: "Doctor, what can you see from my dream?"

"Being chased by a monster often means that you have done something against your conscience."

Da Huang was taken aback for a moment, with a confused expression on his face, but he didn't feel guilty: "It's against your conscience? I... Is it alright if I scold that bad policeman behind my back?"

Su Wei just rubbed his hair - Rhubarb's hair was very soft, and Su Wei seemed to be obsessed with such movements when he came in.

"It may not be you, this is a manifestation of your subconscious mind, maybe another personality of yours."

Da Huang laughed bitterly at himself: "Did the other personality... kill his stepmother? Give her rat poison?"

Su Wei looked at the dreams he recorded afterwards, because those dreams were so disorganized that many parts of rhubarb could not be expressed in words.Su Wei couldn't help shaking his head: "Dahuang, your psychological disguise is getting stronger and stronger."

"Freud believes that dreams are the continuous transmission of information from the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is the content and process that are rejected by the conscious system. Fear, sexual fantasies, aggressive desires... These unethical motives, irrational desires and selfish desires will be rejected by the conscious system. People are repressed in the subconscious. Everyone has a 'superego' in their hearts, which is like the police patrolling in your mind. In order to avoid the police, the subconscious has to disguise when sending messages to you."

"Children know least, so their dreams are almost undisguised. Adult dreams have many disguises. The stronger and more frightening the wish, the more disguised the dream."

Da Huang bit his lower lip: "What does this mean? I read Freud's "The Interpretation of Dreams", is it related to this? Doctor... I really don't know what thoughts are buried in my subconscious, I just know I hope you can spend more time with me every day, and I can see you more."

Su Wei looked at him with complicated eyes, and smoothed his hair like a puppy.

After a while, Da Huang asked in a low voice: "Doctor, I don't know what the other me is like. Maybe he is really a heinous villain. Are you still willing to believe this me?"

Su Wei said, "I believe it."

Da Huang smiled, sat on the carpet at his feet, rested his face on his lap, and didn't speak any more.