Su Wei

Early the next morning, the sun woke Su Wei up.He wanted to open his eyes, but felt his eyelids were heavy; he wanted to sit up, but felt a splitting headache.After a long time, Su Wei finally struggled to hold up his eyelids, and what caught his eyes was the magnified face of Rhubarb.

Rhubarb hadn't woken up yet, his brows were slightly wrinkled, and he seemed very tired.

Su Wei's mind went blank, and it took a long time before he turned over and sat up, and took a hangover medicine for himself from the drawer.

He only remembered that he and Su Yi were sitting on the beach drinking last night, and his memory after that was very messy.Thinking about it again, I vaguely remembered that I pressed Rhubarb under my body...

Su Wei gasped, stepped forward and lifted the quilt, only to see that Da Huang's body was covered with red marks, and there were traces of liquid condensation on the bed sheet, all of which showed the crimes he committed last night.

Rhubarb shrank his body due to the cold, suddenly frowned, and woke up with his hands on his waist and grinning.

When he opened his eyes, he saw Su Wei holding a corner of the quilt, standing by the bed and looking at him expressionlessly.

Su Wei's performance was so calm that it was almost cruel.

"We did?"

Rhubarb pursed his lips and nodded.

"Active? Half push and half? Forced?"

"Uh... forced to..."

Su Wei looked at him coldly: "You don't look weak enough to be raped by a drunk."

Rhubarb twisted the quilt aggrievedly: "Okay... half push and half..." In order to prove his words, he struggled to his knees, put his palm on Su Wei's forehead and pressed gently, trying to help Su Wei recall Remember what happened last night.

During Su Wei’s recollection, Da Huang said dejectedly: “Doctor, you just have a headache, but my butt hurts. If I took the initiative, it should be the doctor who hurts your butt now. You are stronger than you think when you are drunk But much more."

Su Wei did remember.It is not a lie that Da Huang said that he was forced, because he kept trying to fight back during the process, but he was firmly restrained by himself.Rhubarb also tried to escape when it hurt the most, but unfortunately failed.

Su Wei really felt a headache now.Man said that he had never encountered such a situation before, and it would be fine if he got drunk and killed him, and it happened that this person also liked him, and he didn't seem to be psychologically traumatized by it.But Rhubarb is the last person he should touch—a mental patient who admires him and treats him.

Su Wei thought about it and said, "I'm sorry..."

Da Huang held his hand, stared into his eyes, and said softly: "Doctor, let me guess what you're thinking."

"You are thinking about what I will think, what demands I will have, and how to reduce the damage to me..." He stopped suddenly when he said this.

Seeing that he seemed to be waiting for him to speak, Su Wei said, "Yes. What's the problem?"

Rhubarb pursed his lips again, with a gloomy look on his brows: "This is not a face. Your psychological defense mechanism makes you avoid, doctor, you have thought about everything, but you just refuse to think about your own feelings."

Su Wei was stunned.

Rhubarb said: "The consciousness, preconsciousness, and subconsciousness I understand are like a big turntable. They are on the top wherever they are turned. In theory, they will not appear at the same time, but the colors between the turns sometimes penetrate each other. The hypnotized When people are in bed, when they are sleeping, or when they are drunk, people's consciousness is blurred, and the subconscious mind starts to function. Therefore, it is only in this situation that the hidden thoughts in people's hearts can be tapped. The so-called telling the truth after drinking...Doctor, so I believe you Will...that me is your subconscious desire, in fact...you like me too. "

Su Wei's brows were tightly furrowed: "False. Then why is there such a saying about being drunk and having sex?"

Rhubarb said: "Because they just want to vent their sexual desires or are actually attracted to each other... I believe that doctors are not the former kind of people, right? If they are relatives together, this situation will not happen, because the subconscious mind is attracted to relatives. There will be no animal desire."

Su Wei was speechless for a moment.

His head was already a mess, he couldn't make up his mind at the moment, he just wanted to escape, so he said, "You... go and wash it first, and leave me alone."

Rhubarb bit his lip aggrievedly: "Oh..."

After he struggled to prepare himself and came out of the bathroom, he found that Su Wei was no longer in the room.He limped out and heard Su Wei talking on the phone in the corridor.

"Happy New Year, Doctor Bai."

"Well, sorry, there is one thing I want to ask you."

"I don't think I'm suitable for treating Lu Xiao anymore, I want to hand him over to you."

Da Huang staggered up and snatched Su Wei's cell phone, hung up the call, and glared at Su Wei.Because of touching the wound on his back, his anger was expressed by grinning.

Su Wei looked at him hesitantly: "Lu Xiao..."

Da Huang said angrily: "If you drive me away, I'll... I'll just... fuck it, I'll just jump off the building too!"

Su Wei froze for a moment, lowered his eyes and said nothing.

Da Huang waved his small fist angrily: "Damn! Bastard!" After saying that, he limped downstairs and ran out of the villa.

Su Wei hesitated for a long time before catching up, but found that Rhubarb had run away without a trace.

Su Wei searched the vicinity for more than half an hour, but he still did not see Rhubarb.Rhubarb didn't have a mobile phone with him, and he couldn't speak English well, so Su Wei couldn't help feeling anxious.

He walked through a park, and a yellow man flashed past the corner not far away.Su Wei felt familiar with that figure, like... that person.At that moment, Su Wei had a very absurd thought in his mind, but it just passed by in a flash, so fast that even Su Wei himself had no time to catch it and see it clearly.

In the evening, Rhubarb returned to the villa by himself.

He returned to the room in a daze, and saw Su Wei standing by the window, staring at the scenery outside, so sadly threw himself on the bed, pulled the pillow to cover his face: "I thought the doctor would come to me."

Su Wei said, "I found it."

In fact, he couldn't remember how he came back. His memory seemed to be blank after seeing that familiar figure. When he woke up, he had already stood by the window in a daze for a long time.

Rhubarb said aggrievedly: "I'm right by the sea, you must not have looked for it seriously."

Su Wei was speechless.

Da Huang got up from the bed, walked behind Su Wei, carefully wrapped his arms around his waist, and buried his face on his back: "Doctor, don't drive me away, okay? I will listen to you from now on, and never... ...half-and-half."

Su Wei said, "Lu Xiao... I am no longer qualified to treat you."

Da Huang said angrily: "Even if I didn't ask the doctor to be responsible, you wouldn't kick me away."

Su Wei's tone seemed disappointed: "That's not the case, Rhubarb. You can still come to me when Dr. Bai treats you. I just lost the qualification to be your psychiatrist."

Da Huang's face paled slightly: "Then... Doctor Bai treats me, you will not be my psychiatrist in the future, can you consider accepting me?"

Su Wei was helpless: "Give me a little time... and give yourself some time too?"

Da Huang pouted willfully: "I don't need time. Doctor, do you like me at all?"

Su Wei said, "Don't force me any more."

After the seventh day of the lunar new year, Su Wei and Rhubarb finally returned home.

As soon as Su Wei got home, the phone rang before the salute was finished.He picked up the phone, and Bai Pingnan's relieved voice came from the opposite side: "Thank God, you are finally back."

Su Wei glanced at Rhubarb who was packing up, and subconsciously lowered his voice: "Yes."

Bai Pingnan said: "The last time you called me, you were hung up suddenly, and you never answered my call after that. I thought something happened to you. Su Wei, what's the matter?" Since that day Every time Su Wei got a call, Da Huang would rush to take a look, and if it was from Bai Pingnan, he would deliberately press it down.

Su Wei whispered, "In an hour, go to the cafe where we met last time, okay?"

Bai Pingnan agreed.

Su Wei took a shower and was about to go out. Da Huang stopped him anxiously: "Doctor, are you going to see another psychiatrist?"

Su Wei looked sideways, not daring to meet his gaze: "I'm going out to buy something."

Da Huang almost begged and said: "Doctor, I promise... well, I will try my best to restrain myself and keep a distance from you, don't drive me away."

Su Wei said: "Let's talk about this matter tonight, Da Huang, I'm going out now."

Since that incident, Su Wei's attitude towards Rhubarb has become almost cautiously alienated. In the past, he would occasionally tease or even tease Rhubarb, but now he is as cautious as treating a piece of fragile glass.

Rhubarb was extremely frustrated by this, but there was nothing he could do.

When Su Wei arrived at the cafe, Bai Pingnan had already arrived.He looked a bit haggard, as if he hadn't slept well in days.

There were two steaming cups of coffee on the table, Bai Pingnan said: "I remember you used to drink this kind of coffee, I hope you ordered it right."

Su Wei picked up the cup and took a sip: "Well, you still remember. Dr. Bai, you look very tired."

Bai Pingnan took off his glasses and rubbed his eye point: "I met a difficult patient in the past two days. Don't talk about me, tell me, what happened to you and Lu Xiao?"

Su Wei hesitated and said, "I...I have feelings for him that I shouldn't have."

Bai Pingnan was slightly startled: "You... Su Wei, he is your patient."

Su Wei rubbed his temple: "I know."

"You want me to heal him?"

"Yes, but he doesn't want to leave. I don't know how to persuade him."

"If that's the case, you can give him a little time and tell him that you can still be friends without being his therapist. When he understands that this doesn't mean cutting off relations with you, he will let go. Then you slow down Slowly alienate him, it will be better."

"……it is good."

After drinking coffee, Bai Pingnan said, "My house is nearby, do you want to sit down for a while?"

Su Wei didn't want to go back to face Rhubarb immediately, so he agreed.

When he arrived at Bai Pingnan's house, Su Wei looked at the furnishings of Bai Pingnan's house and said, "It doesn't seem to have changed much from before."

Bai Pingnan smiled and said, "I am a nostalgic person."

Su Wei sat on the sofa, Bai Pingnan turned on the air conditioner, and the hot air blew on his face, making him feel drowsy.

Bai Pingnan walked to him with a teacup: "Su Wei, I'm worried about you. You give me the feeling... Your mental state doesn't seem to be very good. Have you ever thought of that person again these years?"

Probably due to the fatigue of the journey, Su Wei was really sleepy.

He closed his eyes, rested his head on the sofa, and shook his head slightly: "No... I didn't..."

In a haze, he felt a pair of warm hands covering his hands, and Bai Pingnan's voice sounded softly in his ears: "Su Wei, I have never forgotten you these years, I have always been worried about you..."

It had been more than an hour since Su Wei opened his eyes again.

He sat up rubbing his temples and found himself lying on the couch falling asleep.Bai Pingnan was sitting not far away reading a book, and when he saw him wake up, he said with a smile: "You may be too tired, you fell asleep while talking just now."

Su Wei took a sip of the cold tea, got up and said, "Excuse me, I should go back."

Bai Pingnan wanted to send him off, but he refused.

Su Wei returned to the community, parked the car, and walked back slowly with his hands in his pockets.

His steps are very small, as if this can delay for a while.The street lamps stretched his figure thin and long, and a gust of wind blew by, causing his shadow to shake slightly.

A man stood under the last streetlight.He crossed his arms and leaned against the light pole, his face hidden in the shadows.

Su Wei's gaze first saw the man's white sneakers, then his jeans and woolen jacket.He was almost afraid to look up, because his subconscious told him that it was difficult for him to accept the presence of this person here and now.

The man came out from the shadows, his young smiling face melted into the soft light: "Avi, I'm back."