[HP] warm

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He liked Harry, from the time when he didn't know it, he longed for Harry, from the time when he was aware of it, from when he refrained himself from touching Harry, from when he was frightened by his own thoughts.

He has always been a very self-disciplined person, he has been suppressing his emotions, so even he himself did not think that when the string called reason in his mind was removed one day, he would become so scary.It's not that he didn't hear the cry, and it's not that he couldn't see the tears, but he just couldn't stop the urge to crush him to pieces and press him into his blood.

The Dark Lord is resurrected, and the war is about to begin. I don't know how many people will die. Will they survive?Snape didn't know, he only knew that every meeting might be the last time, he couldn't guarantee that he would come back after the Dark Lord's summoning every time, and he couldn't guarantee that, when Harry was at Hogwarts, he was absolutely safe.

Under such circumstances, this one-time intimacy is extremely precious. He uses him greedily and cruelly. He doesn't know whether the other party can feel the fear that he can't wait for tomorrow to come.He knew he would scare Harry by doing this, but he found that he just couldn't not do it.

If it was a peaceful time, they might have a lot of time to get to know each other slowly, starting with an understatement kiss, and starting from holding hands pretending to be casual but extremely uneasy, but now, all of these are extravagant hopes.

When Harry secretly kissed Snape, he felt the joy he had never felt before, and his retreat completely angered him, so everything after that happened naturally.

He stood there, staring at his face still frowning in pain in his sleep, full of apology, but no regrets.

At least, he said that sentence, I love you.

However, he could not confirm whether he received it.

……

"Harry," Snape couldn't help calling out when he watched him drink the water with difficulty, take a rest and get up on his arms before getting up to leave.

Since Harry woke up, Snape hadn't seen him say a word to himself. This eerily quiet attitude was more confusing than the hoarse accusation he expected. He would rather he reacted more. The lifelessness of the moment.

Hearing his cry, Harry, who was changing his shirt, paused suddenly, then continued buttoning the buttons as if nothing had happened, and said in a flat tone, "I should go."

Snape hesitated to speak, just when he took a step to walk to his side to explain, but saw his pretending calm back suddenly startled, like a cat standing upright frightened by fear, he could only He stopped in his tracks, paused, and said, "What happened last night, I,"

"It's okay!" Harry said these words urgently and quickly, with a look of trying to put things aside.

"I'll tell you about this," Snape choked when he heard this answer, but after a while, he continued the topic with difficulty.He could see that Harry was avoiding, and he couldn't let him react like this, it would be a complete rift between the two of them.

"It's okay if I'm fucking talking?!" Harry yelled angrily, interrupting Snape's last words.Snape watched him turn and face him gasping for breath, momentarily at a loss for words.

"I don't want to hear an apology for any of that, whether it's sorry or I'm sorry!" Harry clutched at the top of his shirt, feeling his chest was suffocating, and he seemed to be able to speak only by shouting Come out, "I don't want to look like a silly accident, so put away all your apologies, I don't need to."

"But what I want to say is not sorry." Snape looked at Harry who was trying to maintain his composure, and said that sentence calmly and steadily, "I just want to tell, I won't say anything about that sorry."

"No matter how much you hate me, I don't regret it."

"That was not an accident."

"I love you."

Snape finished these words in a serious manner, and then stood there quietly looking at Harry, without forcing or urging, he just looked at him simply, telling him with his own eyes that these words were not spoken casually.

Harry gradually loosened his grip on the clothes. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but found that there were a lot of words coming out of his mouth, but in the end, everything became silent, so he could only stand there in silence, without any words. Approached, but never left.

In this silence, a silver phoenix suddenly appeared from the ceiling, with Dumbledore's voice, "Snape, bring Harry to my office, I have something important to tell you .”

102

102、Auror...

The sudden appearance of Dumbledore's messenger interrupted what might have been going on between them. Looking at the animal that left the door-opening command and then disappeared into the air as silver powder, Harry opened his mouth, and then, but finally All he could say was "Let's go".

He walked out first without waiting for Snape.

Harry didn't know whether to thank Dumbledore or hate Dumbledore. At that moment, he felt that something he had never felt or thought was about to blurt out, but Dumbledore's message stopped it all. .

He was annoyed but also thankful, annoyed that he might never have the urge to say everything in the future, but at the same time he was also glad that he didn't have to bear the responsibility that would be borne after speaking.This is not cowardice, but because he knows so deeply that he is afraid of everything that has not happened or will happen.

Worse than fearing Voldemort.

Voldemort could beat him, he could destroy him, but he wouldn't turn his life upside down, wouldn't make him feel as flustered as he was now.

He felt like he was standing in front of a door, so close that he could clearly feel the patterns on it with his fingertips, and he could push the door open with just a little force, but he wasn't sure if it was good .

You are running away!He didn't walk away from Snape's side very quickly, he just kept walking at the same speed as usual on the way to Dumbledore's office, but he heard the other self in his heart mocking coldly "You're running away, Harry Potter, you're a cowardly selfish man. You like him saying it wasn't an accident, you like him saying he loves you, but you can't even look back at him."

"Then what do you want me to do?!" Harry growled to his other self, "Do you want me to say those three words as easily as him?!"

"Why not? That's what you thought."

"Of course not, I can't, someone, someone will go crazy when they hear this." Harry closed his eyes, "Besides, I'm not sure, it's love."

I don't doubt his sincerity when he said I love you, but I only doubt whether I really love him.

"I love you", were the most beautiful words Harry had ever heard.Love had always been what he longed for the most, but once someone really put it in front of him, Harry found himself shrinking back unknowingly.He always thought that he knew how to love, but when Snape stood in front of him and said this sentence so firmly, he doubted himself again.He knows how to be a good father and uncle and a good son, but, love... he's not sure he's doing a good job... If he can, why did Ginny leave? ...

Are those failures really not his fault?

Harry heard the steady footsteps behind him, and knew Snape was behind him without turning his head.

He had always loved the sound of Snape's footsteps, whether it was the crunch of his feet on a cold snowy night, or the small rustle of the rug as he walked by the warm fire. , Listening, listening, his own pace unconsciously kept pace with him, so those footsteps let him know that he was not alone on this road.

If you stop and wait, will the footsteps be consistent?

If you stretch out your hand and hold it, will the footsteps be coordinated?

Harry didn't know it, he just picked up his pace, let the steady beat falter, and tried to pretend that he wasn't really paying attention to Snape's footsteps, that they were out of step.

If he agrees, then of course it will be closer, but after that?Harry knew very well what happened below, because they were too close, so friction, disputes and quarrels inevitably appeared, and then there was a rift because of the quarrel, and then the rift continued to increase, and then they could no longer be together, then separated, and then became Lonelier than the loneliness of being alone at the beginning...

If you don't agree, don't open your mouth, don't speak, don't respond, will you be able to go on like this forever?Even though there is a distance, there are each other's footsteps echoing, one after another like a heartbeat, never lonely?

If getting close means separating, if holding tightly means letting go, if getting means losing, then it's better to stay like this.

It doesn't matter if you don't understand, as long as you don't lose it anymore.

He was a man who couldn't afford to lose anymore, he had lost a lot, he could keep calm and watch Ginny leave, but he found that just thinking about the possibility of Snape leaving was too much for him to bear.

So, I won't say I love you.

**

Dumbledore's office is not far away, and he will arrive after a short walk.Harry stood in front of the stone beast and took a breath to get rid of distracting thoughts in his mind. Then he gave the password to open the door and walked in first.

It's not distrust, it's just that he's used to using brain defense spells when facing others,