Sea King's Self-cultivation

According to rumors, the "book" has the ability to realize everything written on it.

In a sense, "books" are also the original power that supports the entire world.

But now, the "book" is missing a page.

No, to be precise, it's not that "a page" is missing, it's that a little bit of power has been lost.

He quickly found the owner of a little "book" power. Unexpectedly, it was just a very ordinary girl, without any supernatural powers, and she didn't even know she had the "book" power.

Before actually approaching her, all her information had been collected and presented to Osamu Dazai.

Shimizu Xing, whose parents divorced since childhood, has been living with his father. In high school, he was forced to drop out of school in order to repay the usury owed by his father. After that, he has been working in various places for two years.

No matter how tragic the experience, the resume condensed into black and white is ultimately nothing more than a few words that are lacklustre.

That is, these few words summed up her 18 years of life.

But how could such an ordinary experience come into contact with the "book", and how could he get part of the power of the "book"?

Continuing to trace the source, Shimizu Xing’s parents had a puppy love in high school and tasted the forbidden fruit. Her mother did not dare to reveal to others that she was pregnant until she gave birth alone in the dormitory. The crying of the child attracted teachers and classmates. Shimizu Xing’s In panic and fear, the mother threw Shimizu Xing, who was still a baby, from the third floor.The newborn life has only a pure desire to live. When it is dying, the "book" that happens to be left beside it perceives the baby's desire to live. This overly pure desire makes part of the power of the "book" enter Into the baby's body, when she was about to die, it became the strength to support her to live.

very pitiful.

The life that was not expected from birth, the father thought of abandoning it, and the mother thought of killing it.

he thought flatly.

However, if the plan is to be implemented, the power of the "book" must be fully withdrawn.For this reason, Osamu Dazai deliberately went to the coffee shop where Shimizu Xing worked to meet her. Although he didn't talk to her, after two or three times, he had completely confirmed that Shimizu Xing was a very ordinary girl.

Although she does have a very beautiful face, her skin is as fair as snow, and she will show a sincere smile to every customer who comes to the store. Her round almond eyes are clear and ignorant, and when she smiles, she becomes With two small crescents, her whole body is like a sweet and soft candy.

She has a face so beautiful that few can match it.

But she obviously didn't realize the lethality of her beauty and the danger it might bring her.

With Dazai Osamu's keenness and insight into people's hearts, in his few quiet observations, he has already discovered that almost all the men who have had contact with Shimizu Xing have more or less "love" for her. desire".

The desire to be close.

desire to collect.

The desire to play.

desire to destroy.

But I have never seen the desire to "protect" and "treasure".

The vast majority of people are stupid and shallow, like a bad hunter facing her prey, her greed and ugliness are almost nakedly engraved on her face, a little rabbit like Qingshui Xing who has lived alone in the steel jungle for a long time How could he fail to notice such malice?The vigilant and timid rabbit will of course run away before the hunters approach, not giving them a chance to catch her.

But there are still some people, gentle and personable, polite and good at disguising, coupled with a handsome appearance, it is difficult for the innocent and soft-hearted bunny to tell whether they are good guys or bad guys, so they can only hang their ears carefully in confusion I was struggling, not knowing whether I should resist the approach of this kind of person.

These people are very few, among the coffee shop customers Osamu Dazai has seen, among the people who can disguise themselves so that the little rabbit can't tell them apart, there is only a doctor, a bookstore owner, and——

he himself.

Yes, he never denies his "desire" for Shimizu Xing, but this "desire" is not a secular desire, he does not want to collect, play with, or destroy, he just wants to get her.

What made him even more interesting was that this feeling of "wanting to get her" didn't come from him spontaneously.

This is the wish of the "book" that has become one with him.

"Book" hopes to become complete, which is a conclusion that will not change at any time.It was a mistake to accidentally separate part of the power that supported Qing Shuixing's body into Qingshui Xing's body, and now it's time to correct this mistake.

But the power of the "book" cannot be taken out of thin air. For so many years, Qingshui Xing has been relying on the power of the "book" to maintain her life. If she takes out this part of the power, her end will only be a dead end.

But this is where the contradiction lies. On the one hand, the "book" hopes to take back the power in her body to make itself complete, but on the other hand, it unconsciously feels a sense of "the girl who uses part of its strength to support her to live". She is close and loved, and does not want to hurt her, and even wants to protect her.

As the master of "books", Osamu Dazai will inevitably be influenced by "books".

Rationally, he knew very well that he should find an opportunity to kill her, get back the power of the "book", and continue with his plan.

But every time he gets close to her, emotions such as "protection" and "like" will inevitably surge in his heart.

He doesn't dislike this kind of emotion, he has been wandering in the dark for too long, he has never liked anyone, and he has never had the mood to protect anyone, so this kind of love with affection is very important to him. Strangeness is also very interesting. It is a feeling that just looking at her will make my heart soften. If she smiles again, it seems that the whole sky is clear.

But that's about it.

He thought lightly.

He is an extremely gentle person, but at the same time an extremely cold and rational person.

The emotions imposed on him by the "book" are in the final analysis false, and since they are false, they are not worthy of nostalgia and hesitation.The things to be done are always divided into those that must be done and those that do not have to be done. Any other emotions are obstacles and traps. Osamu Dazai is very clear about this, and a short absence will never affect his decision.

He was ready to strike, but when he was about to strike, he realized that taking out the power of the "book" in her body was not something that could be done simply by killing her. That would only lead to the collapse of the power, and he had to control it first. That power, find another time to attack.

[It doesn't take long. 】

He originally thought so.

But after entering the water as usual, things went beyond his expectations.

Whether it was her act of saving lives, or the fact that she didn't care about his sarcasm, or she believed that he really committed suicide because he was unemployed and had nowhere to go——

They all look so stupid.

...Obviously he should think so.

But looking at the carefully preserved banknotes in his hand, he was suddenly speechless as if speechless.

This is all she has, the only thing left, right?

Now, she gave him all, what was left of her, without reservation.

Handed over to someone who was thinking about how to kill her.

He sat on the grass, looked at her eyes that were not stained with any magazines, and the curvature of her lips finally turned into a self-deprecating and relieved smile.

Shimizu Apricot... What kind of idiot is that?

It was because of the "book" and the plan that he took the initiative to approach her, there was no doubt about it.

But things seem to be spiraling out of control.

They dated, kissed, confessed, and went to bed, just like all ordinary couples in the world, they naturally entered the palace of marriage.

Although he knew that everything was for the power of the remaining "book" in her body, for the plan, but—is it really necessary to do this?

Obviously, as long as you get close to her and increase communication and contact, it will be fine.

Is it really necessary to do this?

Is it really necessary to fall in love, have sex, or even get married?

The thought was fleeting.

He ultimately blamed the influence of "the book" on him for these out-of-control actions.

Qingshui Xing is really a very gentle and sweet girl, she never loses her temper with him, even if she is wronged, she never quarrels with him, she is always very happy when she is with him.She was smiling when she was talking to him, and she was smiling when looking at him even when she was not talking. Her love was so simple and clear that people could see through it at a glance. It seemed that as long as she was with him, she would be satisfied. A cute and lively little bunny.

With Dazai's bad taste, he always likes to bully little rabbits.

Whether it's grabbing her tiny tail or stroking her long ears, her responses are adorable.

The way he smiles coquettishly and shamelessly at him is very endearing.

The shy look when kissed by him is very cute.

The way he hides in his arms with attachment and trust is very endearing.

The way he softly begged him not to bully her was also very cute.

He sent a lot of gang members to protect her by her side when he was working. After all, Qingshui Xing was so naive, ignorant, weak and deceitful, like a glazed doll, he needed to be careful to protect her so that she wouldn't break.

Koyo Ozaki was very interested in this: "Dazai-kun, do you really like that little girl?"

"No." Osamu Dazai wrote lightly, "I'm just stating the facts."

A narrow smile flashed in the eyes of the beautiful woman like red maple: "It's the filter bonus, Dazai-kun. When every man faces the person he likes, even if she is strong enough to dismantle Gundam with bare hands, he will feel She is naive, ignorant, weak and deceitful."

Shimizu Xing obviously can't disassemble Gundam with bare hands. It can be seen that his judgment is correct and there is no filter bonus. She is indeed weak and ignorant and easy to be bullied. Although she is clumsy but cute, she will be coveted by many people, so It needs to be well protected.

Dazai was convinced of this.

But what about protecting her?

What is the purpose?

When he first approached her, he obviously wanted to kill her and took out the "book pages", didn't he?

The time has come long ago, and Qingshui Xing trusts him 100%. She lies in his arms and falls asleep so dependently every night. It's all over.

Why can't I do it?

Why can't you make a move?

What is he waiting for?

What is he waiting for?

The world does not stagnate according to anyone's will, time goes by bit by bit, and not long after marriage, Shimizu Xing became pregnant.

After pregnancy, she didn't grow much flesh except her abdomen gradually became rounder. She was so petite and had to give birth to a small soft baby in her body. Just thinking about it makes her even more distressing and loving.

After she was pregnant, she couldn't sleep well, she would always roll around on the bed, and sometimes she would cry out in her dreams when she had nightmares. At such times, he would always wake up at the first time, and carefully put the She hugged her and didn't wake her up, just coaxed her until she fell back into a deep sleep.

Seeing her sleeping obediently leaning against his arms in the dim light, he occasionally couldn't understand why things developed like this.

But her fair face is slightly pink, she is really cute, so cute that makes one's heart soften.He would temporarily put down his pursuit, just quietly staring at her sleeping face, occasionally thinking of teasing, he would kiss her delicate lips, and let her go when she whispered unconsciously.

He didn't have any expectations for the child himself, but this is the child she conceived, the child born from the fusion of his blood and her blood, because she is so cute, so even the new life in her womb has become in his eyes. It's cute.

It doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl, but if I have to say it, I hope it's a little girl.

It's best to be like her in character and appearance, and it's definitely cuter to be like her than to be like him.

he thinks.

As for the matter of killing her and taking out the remaining "book"...it doesn't matter if it can be delayed.

He lowered his eyes, the iris-colored pupils were dim.

Thinking about it carefully, obtaining the complete "book" may not be the only way to achieve the plan. With his ability, there are other methods to choose from.

There is no need to kill Shimizu Xing.

If her life is destined to die, that would be too sad, wouldn't it.

Like he's carrying out a plan for death.

Qing Shui Xing was very happy every day after she became pregnant. Maybe she was so happy that this feeling infected him. Just watching her hug her made her heart calm down instantly.

She likes to nest in his arms, likes to be kissed and hugged by him, likes to cling to him.When the baby moved for the first time, she was both pleasantly surprised and at a loss. She felt the movement of the baby in her womb carefully and expectantly, and saw the sparkle in his eyes: "Mr. Dazai, the baby is kicking me..."

"Really, let me touch it."

His hand was gently placed on her belly, and after a while, the baby moved again.

"The baby must like Mr. Dazai very much." Xingxing smiled, "So I felt Mr. Dazai, and immediately turned over to greet you."

So tender.

So happy.

I always feel incredible, can a person like him achieve such an ordinary and warm happiness?

For the first time, he looked at the smiling girl with crooked eyes under the sun, and for the first time, the thought of "It doesn't seem so unbearable to live like this" came to his mind.

but……

but.

However, the reason why fate is called fate lies in its cruelty and impermanence.

A pregnancy test of Qingshui Xing four months pregnant showed that the condition of both the baby and the adult seemed to be slightly declining.That little drop in data is within the normal range, and ordinary people may not take it seriously, but to be on the safe side, he still used the power of the "book" to investigate her carefully, and then discovered a terrible fact.

The baby is gradually dissipating the power of the "book" that originally supported her to live.

At this rate, by the time the baby is born, it will have lost exactly half of its strength.

When the baby is still in her body, the two are one, and everything will be fine. However, when it is separated from the mother's body, the strength that is not enough to support two people to live at the same time will collapse in an instant. die.

What if the child is killed?

He thought calmly, if only one of Qing Shui Xing and the child could survive, he would undoubtedly choose Qing Shui Xing.

But this method was just a little thought, and he gave up the idea.

Not to mention that Xingxing will not accept the decision to abort the child. The baby is now four months old, and even if the separated power is aborted, it will not return to Qingshui Xing's body.

They will still die.

So giving up the child is not an option.

So--

There was almost no need to think about it, and Osamu Dazai thought of the only feasible solution in an instant.

Both the child and Xing need the power of the "book" to survive, but the power in her body is not enough for the two to share, so the best way is——

He gave them the power of the "book" he possessed.

But there is only one way to get the "book" out of a person's body.

That is death.

He is not afraid of death, rather, for a long time, "death", a once-in-a-lifetime experience, is what he has been pursuing. If his death can make important people live well, he will Without hesitation.

But when he thought of the method of "death", the first thought that popped up in his mind was——if he died, what should Xing do?

What should she do?

What would she do without his protection and without him by her side in the future?

Too many things and too many people can hurt her. Even if she is left with a large amount of property, even if members of Hong Kong gangsters will protect her, he can't completely relax.Dazai is very clear that although Xingxing has lived independently for many years, due to her living environment since she was a child, she is still a little girl who lacks love in essence, and she is not as strong as she appears at all.

If a person has never seen the light, there is nothing to be afraid of if he stays in the dark all the time.But as long as you have experienced the temperature of light, it is difficult to accept returning to the darkness again.

Shimizu Xing would never be able to bear the blow of his death, he knew this very well.

He was afraid that she would choose to kill herself in pain and despair.

In order to avoid this ending, after searching for a period of time, he found a person with supernatural ability to rewrite other people's memories, and through a transaction, he asked this person with supernatural ability to delete the memory about him in Shimizu Xing's mind after his death.

"Delete memory? You want her to forget you? But why?" The other party was puzzled.

"Because I know very well that Xing is a girl who can't live without me."

He said.

"But if she forgets you..." The other party paused, then sighed softly, "No one will wait for another forever. Dazai-kun, don't you mind at all if she remarries in the future and falls into the arms of other men? "

"It's ok."

"I do not mind."

He heard himself say it.

With Xing's heart, she is a girl who is so weak that she may kill herself when she finds out about his death, but at the same time she is also a person who is strong enough to live for her child - even at that time, she no longer remembers that it is her and whose child.

In fact, the plan could have been more meticulous. He should have arranged for another person to be by her side as a "husband" who he could rely on and protect her. Rationally speaking, he knew that this was the best arrangement.

The list of candidates is ready, why did you choose to give up at the last minute?

Maybe it's because... He really wasn't open enough to send her into someone else's arms with his own hands.

he thought to himself mockingly.

He put the list into the shredder and watched it shred in cold silence until there was no trace left.

Let him keep the last bit of selfishness.

He arranged everything quietly, and in the last months of her pregnancy he spent more and more time with her, treating each day as if it were his last together.

He is leaving.

And she doesn't know yet.

Shimizu Xing gave birth on the day.

"Do you need me to go in with you?"

he asks.

She thought about it, and finally shook her head with some reluctance: "No need, Mr. Dazai is waiting for me outside. I will definitely come out soon, I am super brave!"

He smiled softly, held her hand, and placed a soft kiss on her forehead: "Well, I know, Xingxing is the bravest."

I know that you are the bravest, so even in a world without me in the future, you will definitely be able to live well.

After forgetting me, live well.

You are the bravest Xingxing.

"Then I'll go in?"

Xingxing said.

"it is good."

He watched her being pushed into the delivery room by the doctors and nurses, the door of the operating room was closed little by little, and her figure finally completely disappeared from his sight.

Nowhere to say goodbye.

[Human emotions are really complicated. 】

The voice of "book" slowly entered his mind.

【Isn't your original goal to kill her?Why did she decide to die for herself in the end? 】

He strolled up to the headquarters building without haste or hesitation, as if he was going to an established appointment.

"Well... who knows? It's all your fault." He said, "Didn't you have the emotion of 'love' for her, which then affected me?"

[Deceive yourself. 】"Book" is very calm, 【Except for the first meeting, I have never had any emotions that would affect you. 】

【Aren't you also very clear about this? 】

"Ah. Maybe."

He replied casually.

[That's why I think human beings are really complicated. 】

[The time is coming.What are you thinking about now? 】

"It's nothing."

He just thinks about every day he used to have her.

And there will be no more days with him.

The clouds in the sky are surging, the morning light is twilight, and the sun is about to come out.

Then it's a brand new day.

At the last second, he suddenly thought of the scene when he went to the temple to make a wish in the New Year.

"What wish was made? I guess it's about me."

"I won't tell you." She snorted softly and asked curiously, "Where is Mr. Dazai? What wish did you make? Is it related to me?"

"Don't tell you."

"Too naive, Mr. Dazai! Just because I didn't tell you, why don't you get angry and don't tell me!"

"Even if you say that, I won't tell you."

[I won't tell you. 】

[Because the wish may not work if spoken out. 】

She guessed right, his wish was indeed related to her, it was very short, only eight words.

[Get what you want, and what you want comes true. 】

I hope that in the rest of her life from now on, everything she thinks, thinks, expects, will be able to——

You have to taste what you want, and your wishes come true.