[Comprehensive] I don't want it anymore

How many worlds is this?

Sakuragi Rie couldn't remember.

The relevant memories were blurred; and after the novice tutorial was over, the system no longer counted such things, or in other words, it no longer had the obligation to inform her of this matter.

In a sense this is a good thing.

At least for a brief moment, she will feel that she is really living in this world.She can forget—forget that this is just a part of her boundless life; forget that she will lose everything in a short time, and can't even keep a little bit of precious memory.

Perhaps it was because she was doomed to lose, for a long time, she was like a coward, not daring to establish contact with those gentle souls, for fear that [Fu Jiang] would destroy the beauty she finally met; A paranoid maniac who tries to hold on to whatever he can hold, good or bad.

But too little.

There are too few things she can keep.

Apart from this exquisite body, in these too long years, the only thing she can have left, the only thing that can accompany her forever... is the so-called system.

Actually, only it.

How funny.

What she gradually devoted her heart to was the existence she once wished to perish together—the most absurd thing was that even the resentment that was once so deep in her heart gradually disappeared in time.

What else could she keep?

What else could she do?

Sakuragi Rie wants to live, and she still wants to live, so she can only bow to the cruel fate time and time again, until all the bottom lines she once had were broken.

It's ok.

It doesn't matter, anyway, even those so-called bottom lines will soon be forgotten by her.

Maybe it won't be long before she can even forget the pain of having nothing.

The brown-haired girl laughed at herself.

——What should a pure smile look like?

It shouldn't be like this anyway.

------------------

It's a winter night.

It's freezing cold, and the dripping water turns into ice.

——There is still residual snow on the road, and the roots of the trees on the roadside are piled up into hills with white snow.

Oh, maybe it's not an illusion.

【...so cold. 】

【...】

[System, please chat with me. 】

The girl was wearing thin clothes and curled up in the corner of the wall, as if she wanted to freeze herself to death. Her long brown hair was messy covering her face, and there were even small ice beads in her hair.

She was born extremely beautiful, so beautiful that one would think that an elf descended from the mortal world, and one could even ignore her lunatic behavior at the moment.Only her pale complexion and blue lips showed her weakness at the moment.

There are few pedestrians on the roadside.

A few people did see her.

Perhaps because of the charm of [Fu Jiang], they walked in this direction involuntarily, wanting to help her—or maybe wanting to destroy her directly.But soon they saw the security guards stationed on the side. These people had sullen faces, showed their guns at their waists, and forced away all the guys who wanted to meddle in their own business.

Several bodyguards looked at her unbearably, but they didn't dare to approach her.

what.

Of course, don't overcomplicate things.

They're not bad people either.

——In fact, these people are here to take care of her "safety".

It seemed that these people were watching her die with cold eyes. In fact, the girl had a full set of equipment to monitor her physical condition, and ambulances and doctors were already ready.If she passed out, they would send her to the hospital for treatment as soon as possible.

This is the deal.

It was the greatest freedom that the madman who imprisoned her could give her.

She bowed her head and gave in, that man let her do whatever she wanted without endangering her own life.

This kind of freedom is full of absurd taste in a sense.

But she doesn't care about that anymore.

【system? 】

【system...】

【Are you there... are you asleep...】

【...】

The system was silent for a long time, so silent that she thought she had passed out.

【I am here. 】

There was a very soft sound, still icy cold, barely pulling back her remaining rationality.

【...】

[Remind the host that the current physical condition and mental state of the host need to be adjusted.Although the task does not require the host's way of life, this inappropriate behavior will shorten the time your body can use in this world, and it will not benefit the host to complete the task in the future. 】

【Ah... so what does that matter, anyway, I wouldn't be able to live much longer, right? 】

The brown-haired beauty pressed her heart, and a sarcastic smile flashed across her face.

The system fell silent again.

【Ah, sorry, forget that sentence just now. 】

【...】

【Are you angry? 】

[Repeat again, as a system, I don't have such human emotions. 】

[If you're not angry, then chat with me again, don't you feel bored if you keep silent like this?Or do you have other things to do and I'm getting in your way? 】

The attachment that grows day by day, the expectation of being accompanied, and the resentment against the system merge together, making Sakuraguli's heart sounds extraordinarily complicated.

...This also led to her often sweet talk in the first half of the sentence, and a gun with a stick in the second half.

She actually didn't want to.

It's just that she couldn't help it.

[In fact, the system does not have the obligation to chat with the host, so the host should focus on completing the task. 】

[...It's really boring. 】

The girl smiled and lowered her head.

—she passed out completely.

------------------

How long has she lived.

How long can she live.

Should she really continue to live like this?

——Rie Sakuragani seems to have gone to an extreme.

She didn't want to die, but she didn't know why she was still alive.

Life seems to be nothing but sorrow and pain.

If a doctor diagnoses her, the girl in this period is definitely suffering from severe depression.But the long time has made her acting skills exceptionally superb, so she can still smile at strangers and spend every day to the fullest.It's just that sometimes, she really can't control her twisted psychology.

She started looking for excitement.

The wine is too bad.

The smoke is too choking.

Cultivated fun can quickly become boring.

...Sakuratani Rie went to the extreme of violence step by step.

She doesn't want to hurt others, but she also doesn't like being hurt by others all the time.So she chose to torture herself. She designed various "games" and counted the minutes in extreme environments, as if she could gain happiness from the absolute pain.

It was from this time that she finally bowed to fate.

She tried to be soft on the system.

It's hard.

painful.

But she had already tasted enough pain, and this one was not bad.

To be honest, normal humans really can't have a good impression of the system.Its appearance continued its own life, but it also took away the most precious memories and feelings of human beings.It speaks so mechanically, its attitude is always cold, and its words are so official that it seems to be the lowest artificial intelligence.

But how could the current Sakuraguli be considered a normal person?

Probably because she made up her mind to break her own back, she simply did everything: the girl took the initiative to lock herself in a small black room countless times.In the loneliness where day and night cannot be distinguished, she is like a lunatic, repeating whispers that no one knows the meaning of.

Once, twice, three times.

As long as that cold machine is willing to speak, it is her victory.

Even if I got a simple [um] word.

Hearing that mechanical and cold voice again, in the darkness that could drive anyone crazy, the girl with a face as pale as a corpse showed a smile.

--So be it.

she said to herself.

The mood is unusually calm.

For a parasite who can read her every voice, she doesn't think she can hide her true thoughts, so she has to lie to herself.

Anyway, those resentments are easily forgotten.

Forget it completely—let the system think that she no longer cares, and make myself feel that she no longer cares.

One hundred worlds is not enough, then two hundred.

If 100 years is not enough, then 1000 years.

...until the system treats her past resentment as useless data.

Time is powerful and fair.It can change Sakuraya Rie, and it can also change the system.

As long as she persists long enough, sooner or later, the system will be willing to bow its head and face the "weak and incompetent" carbon-based creatures that it once couldn't see.

------------------

[What is the mission this time? 】

[As long as the host persists beyond the survival period. 】

【Well, it seems that this time the world will be difficult again.Speaking of which, I have been connected to high-risk worlds several times, is it really not the system, are you kidding me? 】

【...Remind the host that the system is not qualified to choose the world. 】

[Yes, I have always wanted to ask this question.So how did my world choose?Your immediate boss to help choose, or draw lots and throw the dice? 】

【...】

【Ah, don't be angry, I'm just kidding. 】

【I'm not angry. 】

【I know~Thank you, System-san~】

【...Don't call me that. 】

【Don't you think it's cute?Or Systrom?Hester?English transliteration sounds so interesting www. 】

From human to inhuman monster.

...and then put on this layer of human skin again.

Interrupt all the pride and persistence in the past, and then reshape the three views that are actually distorted, and finally look like a normal human being, walking in the sun naturally.

Sakuragani Rie seemed to have forgotten everything.

It also seems to remember everything.

Those gentle souls I met, the warmth and beauty that seemed to really belong to her.As long as this layer of human skin can protect these things, she is still a "human being" and can still have the seven emotions and six desires—even if her seven emotions and six desires are so distorted and paranoid.As long as she can restrain herself according to human legal morality, she is still a good person.

Ask the trace but not the heart.

Right?

...she likes that line.

[We are going to the next world, host. 】

[Well, let's go. 】

The author has something to say:

Many evaluations are Lie's own evaluation of himself, and do not represent the author's point of view

In fact, Li Hui is very gentle in nature from the beginning to the end.It can also be seen from past articles that every time she repeats "no worries", she is actually trying to ensure that she does not owe others' kindness.

Only she no longer has the energy to be gentle with too many people.

After living for such a long time, but still wanting to be like a normal human being, her three views must be distorted to a certain extent.In the past, Riei may have really loved 270, but later on, maybe what she loved was not that person, but a concept she wanted to protect.It happened to appear there, it happened to give her a support, it happened to fulfill her disguise of becoming a human again.

But no matter how distorted the concept is, this memory is irrevocably beautiful and warm to her.

For Rie Sakuragani, this is the most important thing.

One more chapter, hold on