Stockholm syndrome

It's between me and him.

It's like a dream.No matter how terrible the nightmare is, there is no pain when I wake up.Like arthropods without pain-sensing nerves.

This is even scarier for me.So I'm going to write them down, and then yes, to forget.I am different from insects.

If one day the skills that I rely on to survive leave me, as a last resort, maybe I will consider exchanging this pile of broken paper for money.That's assuming, of course, that someone is interested in such cheesy tales.

The story begins when I was 17 years old.

My name is Ye Chen, it's Chen or Shen, but some people still mispronounce it.For example, Li Weiran, he always called me Ye Shen Ye Shen, and he called me like this for 10 years.

X High School is one of the top five prestigious schools in Beijing, and its teachers are second to none. When I was admitted to this school, my family celebrated a lot. In the eyes of the locals, being able to enter X High School is equivalent to a dog. Step into the door of the university.If you think that the students at this school are top achievers, then you are very wrong.Because of the school's reputation, there will always be some high-ranking officials or children from rich families who are prominent in their families. The atmosphere of the school was very good, but they fell to the ground as soon as they dragged it, and Li Weiran was one of them.

In the second year of high school, I divided up arts and sciences, and I chose science.In fact, I prefer warm words to those cold formulas, but my dad insists that I choose science.Even the future path was planned for me. I was admitted to the medical school, and won the place for undergraduate, master and doctoral students. After graduation, I entered their hospital and became the chief surgeon.My fingers are long and thin, and my dad said they are perfect for holding a lancet.He has been a doctor in the Affiliated Hospital of M all his life, and even though he became the deputy director in the end, he has never been the chief surgeon. This is his long-cherished wish.As a son, I should fulfill his dream.And the reason that directly led me to give up liberal arts without hesitation was Zhong Han.

Zhong Han was the class monitor of my junior high school and my freshman year of high school. I secretly read his volunteer form.Zhong Han is the person I like. I have liked him for many years, starting from the second grade of junior high school, when he blocked me behind and loudly reprimanded those punks who asked me for money.Yes, you read that right, I like Zhong Han, as a man, I like a man.On the outside, it looks like Zhong Han and I are just ordinary friends. I don’t tell him that he doesn’t know. If he knew, he would probably feel disgusted.He is such a decent person, a bit rigid.But I just love how meticulous he is, buttoning his chest all the way up, even in summer.

On the first day of school, we stood in two lines at the door of the classroom, waiting for the teacher to assign seats.It was very hot that day, the classroom was on the south side, the sunlight came in through the glass windows in the corridor, and my bare neck was sore from the sun.There are few girls in the science class, so a part of the second half of the boys' team is taken out to make up for the girls' team, and then the seats are arranged in groups of two.I was added to the women's team, and after standing over, I realized that the person in the row with me was actually Zhong Han, and I wanted to be at the same table with him even in my dreams.But obviously I was happy too early, we will be in the queue soon, I have been joking with Zhong Han, trying my best to suppress my joy, and joked with him that it is really bad luck that I want to be at the same table with a boy.Maybe I was so excited that I didn't realize that Li Weiran had joined the team at some point.It wasn't until I was pushed into the classroom by the class teacher that I realized that it wasn't Zhong Han who was walking beside me, but Li Weiran.I turned my head to look at Zhong Han, he didn't seem to notice the change, and looked at me with a surprised face.

Suddenly someone pushed hard from behind, I couldn't stand still and bumped into the corner table, and I knocked my left hand hard.The dull pain from the ring finger, even without looking, I know the soft tissue is damaged, the subcutaneous tissue is contused.My dad has always cultivated my medical awareness in all aspects of life, even injuries. Since junior high school, I can judge the degree of soft tissue contusion through pain sensation.Well, I said it a bit professionally, but the ring finger was actually broken.

"Get in the way, get out if you don't want to sit with me!" This was the first sentence Li Weiran said to me, and his behavior was as bad as the rumors said.He pushed me away and sat in the window seat that belonged to me.The surrounding students consciously looked away. Li Weiran's family affairs are very prominent. I don't know what he does specifically, and I don't bother to ask, but he is very famous in our department.No one dared to offend him, and of course neither did I.I carefully sat on the seat next to him, trying to keep my body as close to the corridor as possible.Zhong Han was assigned to the row next to the wall.I lowered my head and didn't dare to look at him. I was used to being bullied since I was a child, but making a fool of myself in front of him would still make me feel extremely embarrassed.I pretended to take the book and turned sideways to get out the schoolbag, only to find that Zhong Han was staring at me.My face turned red in an instant, and I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down.Then he gave up his gaze, Zhong Han raised his left hand and shook it at me, he was asking if I was hurt.I shook my head quickly, but luckily he couldn't see my left hand from this angle.

The seats were all lined up, the head teacher walked to the podium and began to introduce himself. He wrote a big letter on the blackboard.The huge beer belly was on the podium, and the podium was shaking irregularly with his cadenced voice.I always thought that only by being an official can I make my figure like that. Now it seems that beer belly has nothing to do with occupation.

Neither Li Weiran nor I were listening to his speech. Li Weiran was playing GBA while I was dealing with my wound. A pit the size of a mung bean was knocked out near the heel of my ring finger, surrounded by a layer of cuticle, which is white side.Because the left hand has been hanging down, the blood has been left to the fingertips.I took toilet paper out of my pocket and wiped the blood away.Then he took out the transparent glue from the pencil case, and wrapped the wound with toilet paper.If my dad sees it, he will definitely scold me. Bandaging the wound with toilet paper is a very unscientific first aid measure.And the instigator of all this was sitting leisurely next to me playing GBA. Li Weiran was tall and had long legs. He stretched out his legs and jumped under my table.There were bursts of dull pain in the ring finger, and the nearby blood was pulsating with the pulse.The place where the injury happened happened to be the ring finger of my left hand. This may be a hint of my future fate, but I never thought of it.

Everything was safe and sound all morning, Li Weiran was playing all the time, and didn't pay any attention to me.Originally, I was a little worried that he would affect my study, but now it seems that I was worrying too much.However, I obviously overestimated my luck.

After class at noon, Li Weiran stood up and looked out the window, the sun was very poisonous.He put the GBA on the table, sighed, and threw me 10 yuan, "Go to the cafeteria and buy me a rice bowl. I want Kung Pao Chicken. And water."

I looked at him stupidly, and didn't react for a while, until he kicked my stool.

"It's too hot outside, I don't want to go out, you go to buy." He seemed to be afraid that I wouldn't understand, so he added another sentence.He gave me a disdainful glance, as if he were looking at a bedbug.Just like I look down on him, he also looks down on ordinary people like me.

If I was a bloody man, maybe I should just pick up the money and throw it in his face and yell to buy it myself.But I dare not.If my family was well-off, I would definitely do this, but I'm just an ordinary person, and my parents are ordinary people who live on wages. I really can't afford to offend such a young master.

As soon as I walked out of the teaching building, I started to sweat all over my body.The wound on the finger was raw with sweat and sand.That bastard Li Wei'an.Relying on my own ability, I will be defiant and wait for retribution.I cursed in my heart, but dared not speak out.But thinking about it makes me feel a lot more comfortable.He still has a little conscience, at least he gave me the money for the meal.

The cafeteria is overcrowded, I can only eat a set meal of 3 yuan and 5 yuan, and the rice bowl is too extravagant for me.Finally it was me, and I just wanted to tell the aunt who was cooking to take it away.Suddenly, Zhong Han's voice came.He was standing on the right side of me with a dinner plate, and he seemed to be alone. "Let's eat together."

If I eat quickly, Li Weiran won't notice me, I thought so, and I did.I changed my words and told the aunt who was cooking, eat here.

Zhong Han led me to a table under the fan. This position is very precious in a crowded cafeteria.How he found it is unknown.When I came to the table, I realized that it turned out that I was sharing the table with someone.The plan for a two-person world just fell through. Opposite were two girls, very unfamiliar. Zhong Han had a lot of friends, unlike me, who had known only a few people for so many years.Both girls have long hair. I have always admired girls with long hair, especially in summer. Isn't it hot?They looked at me, covered their mouths and smiled secretly, which made me a little embarrassed.I looked at Zhong Han at a loss, he put his hand on my shoulder and introduced to the girls, "This is my buddy Ye Chen."

When Zhong Han put his arm on my shoulder, my face turned red uncontrollably, and the girl opposite laughed again.Enough laughing, they began to introduce themselves.The thinner one is called Yang Yating, and the fatter one is called Liu Yang.Forgive me for not describing their looks carefully.If you're like me and are only interested in men, then you definitely won't notice the appearance of two girls who have been making fun of you.

The meal was very pleasant. They and Zhong Han were students in the same studio.I was learning to draw until high school, so we had a lot in common.The reason why I learned to draw is ridiculous. My dad thought that drawing could exercise the strength and sensitivity of my fingers, so that I could easily hold the lancet in the future.We talked for a long time, and I gradually let go, not as restrained as before.

When I was packing the dinner plate, I just remembered that I still have to bring food for Li Weiran.Cold sweat broke out on my back, and I greeted Zhong Han hastily.Then I quickly ran to the rice bowl window and bought a rice bowl.I went to the small supermarket in front of the cafeteria and bought a bottle of iced mineral water.

When I ran back to the classroom, my back was soaked in sweat. I raised my shoulders and wiped the sweat from my cheeks.Li Weiran is still playing GBA, he looks very calm.I carefully placed the rice bowl on his table, thankful that I escaped unharmed.

"Have you eaten?" Li Weiran suddenly asked.

"Yes." I answered bravely.In the next moment, Kung Pao Chicken Rice Bowl was already placed on my head by him.The salty juice lay down my cheeks.