Feng Xue

Chu Xue was covered in sweat, but she tapped it very freely, stepped down and returned to the table, and drank all the cold beer on the table in one gulp. Jia Sheng squinted at him and said, "Can you do it, drink like this!"

"I'm thirsty." Chu Xue didn't know why but felt that she couldn't get drunk, but she didn't dare to drink after one glass, so she changed to fruit juice.

"I found someone to be your guide, and he should be able to lead you to find Feng Yan." Jia Sheng said again.

"Thank you." Chu Xue didn't study hard when she was a child, and she couldn't speak English. It was the same when she went abroad to play in the past. If she arranged a guide early in the morning, she didn't need to bother with anything. But the few times she went with Feng Yan, she didn't find someone to take her with her. Yan is different from him. He loves learning since he was a child. Before he decided to dance, he learned English very fluently.

"Be careful when you go out alone." Jia Sheng exhorted Chu Xue like an old woman, mainly because his impression of Chu Xue was still five years ago. not there.

"Don't worry." Chu Xue said, he has lived alone outside for five years, so there is nothing to worry about.

"Don't worry, don't worry, I just want you to find someone quickly, so you can settle down first." Jia Sheng said, shaking his wine glass.The others couldn't help teasing him, talking about the embarrassing things about Chu Xue in the past, and his stubbornness in chasing people.

"Your pursuit of people is actually quite annoying. We were spectators watching the fun back then. At that time, we didn't have a serious business every day. It's a big deal to help you catch people." Cheng Jun said with a smile.

Speaking of the past, it feels as if it has been a lifetime away. When you think about it carefully, it has indeed been almost ten years.

The few people didn't drink very late, they are not the old bastards anymore, each has a serious business, gathering like this is more about relaxing, chatting casually, joking with each other, nothing important, the main thing is to see Chu Xue, if Chu Xue came back, they might not be so diligent.

When Chu Xue and Jia Sheng left the bar, they always felt that someone was watching him. He looked around, but he didn't see anyone familiar.

"What's wrong?" Jia Sheng asked him after realizing it.

"It's nothing, I probably haven't gotten used to it yet. After all, it's a place I've been familiar with since I was a child. There's always an illusion of meeting someone I know." Chu Xue shook her head and said.

"Most of the illusion comes from psychological hints, so stop thinking about it all the time," Jia Sheng said.

"I'm not thinking wildly." Chu Xue retorted immediately.

"Okay, just pretend you haven't thought about anything, then you won't have any illusions." Jia Sheng said.

Chu Xue rubbed her nose and got into Jia Sheng's car.

Jia Sheng drove to the rearview mirror and glanced, and sure enough, he saw a thin figure standing alone at the door of the bar. He sighed secretly, but quickly looked away, so that Chu Xue would not notice.

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Chu Xue's itinerary for the next day was to visit Feng Yan's mother in the nursing home.

Feng Yan encountered his parents' divorce when he was in junior high school. Before that, the family had never had a single day of peace. He seldom mentioned things about his childhood. He only mentioned a few times when he took Chu Xue to see his mother, but those were not What he wanted to say, Chu Xue asked him to choose the one he was willing to answer.

Feng Yan's mother is suffering from severe depression, and Feng Yan has to study and work part-time and has no time to take care of her, so he has to send her to a nursing home. Since his father divorced, he has never paid child support to the bank card on time. It appeared that he couldn't wait to get rid of Feng Yan's mother and son, the reason is actually very simple, Feng Yan's mother is not his true love, he will marry Feng's mother, there are many last resorts, and Feng Yan's mother She thought she would grab someone, but she didn't know that this was the beginning of the tragedy. She chose to marry someone she loved instead of someone who loved her. I can't think about it.

Chu Xue went to see Feng's mother several times back then, she was a rather haggard woman, but Chu Xue could still imagine from her outline that she used to be young and beautiful, and Feng Yan was born like her mother, Feng Yan His father is actually a somewhat well-known entrepreneur. Chu Xue has seen a photo of that man, and he is also a very handsome man. I don’t blame Feng’s mother for being affectionate, but maybe it’s because of his heart, knowing that he is a scum After becoming a man, Chu Xue couldn't feel that he was handsome anymore, but felt that his face was very cunning. Although Feng Yan also partly resembled his father, but his temperament was acquired, and a man who abandoned his wife and son was born again. A face like peach blossoms also makes people feel unfavorable, just like his own mother who abandoned her family and children. Chu Xue felt that his mother's face was so blurred that he couldn't remember it several years ago, and he was not sure about himself. If he really saw her, would he still be able to recognize her?

Thinking of this, Chu Xue sneered slightly, if the fate is not deep, even mother and son are no more than that, but fortunately, his fate with Feng Yan is not shallow, and they can meet again in the vast sea of ​​people separated by north and south.

"Chu Xue, are you Mr. Chu?" The nurse in the nursing home came to him, to lead him to Feng's mother's ward.

The sanatorium is still the sanatorium back then, but the wards have been upgraded a long time ago. Feng Yan placed his mother here from the very beginning. Perhaps he realized early on that in addition to providing better convalescence conditions for his mother, he also There was nothing left to do, whether it was companionship or mother-child affection, these were not what his mother wanted in the first place.

"Ms. Feng's appetite is not bad recently, but her mood is still the same. She is rather depressed. She still needs someone to watch her." Most patients with depression need to be supervised, otherwise they are easy to commit suicide. Feng's mother's condition is especially serious. If there is no money, she can be sent to a nursing home Well, there are countless patients who have accidents outside. In fact, even if they enter a nursing home, unless the sick people really have the idea of ​​trying to get rid of the disease, they will only sink deeper and deeper.

"Well, I'll go and see her, it's okay if she doesn't want to see me." Chu Xue said.Although he came to see Feng's mother several times many years ago, at that time Feng Yan only said that he was his friend, and Feng's mother probably forgot about him long ago.

"Mr. Feng came to visit her a while ago, and Ms. Feng was in good condition that day." The nurse recalled, "It seems that she hopes that Mr. Feng will show up more than before."

"Then her condition should have improved?" Chu Xue asked.

"It's not that simple. We also mentioned to Mr. Feng that Ms. Feng's mood became more depressed after he left. This performance is not a sign of improvement, but it is likely that her condition has become more unstable."

After hearing this, Chu Xue always felt a little worried, but Feng's mother's situation could not be changed overnight, and Feng Yan had tried hard over the years, after all, he had tried his best to cooperate with the various methods proposed by the nursing home to improve Feng's mother, but There has been no progress in the past 15 years, no matter how much hope is held for so many years, it has been worn down, especially when there are many people who think that Feng's mother will get better, unfortunately, they are often disappointing. Now all Feng Yan can do is find time Visit her more often.

"Then does this mean that Aunt Feng actually wants someone to come and accompany her often?"

In fact, the nurses were not quite sure, because this situation had happened before, and they reported the situation to Feng Yan, and Feng Yan cooperated, but Feng's mother's performance was not satisfactory, as if she didn't really want to see Feng Yan that much. Inkstone.

"The emotions of patients with depression often fluctuate. It still depends on the patient's own situation. If she is willing to actively cooperate with the treatment, the cooperation of her family members will be effective."

Having said that, the two came to Feng's mother's ward, and Chu Xue looked through the door. Feng's mother was drawing with her back to the door and facing the window. Her brushes were only crayons, and all sharp pens would not be allocated to her. Moreover, under Feng Yan's request and Feng's mother's consent, the crayons only have bright colors, but even with such bright colors, the contents of Feng's mother's pens are extremely abnormal, which always makes the viewers feel uncomfortable , just like the large area of ​​bright red that Chu Xue saw at this moment, it looked more like blood than the red that should represent passionate emotion.

"Aunt Feng, let's see who is here to see you." The nurse greeted gently outside the door, and then motioned Chu Xue to wait for a while to see how Ms. Feng was feeling.

Mother Feng turned her back to them, as if she didn't hear them, she continued to smear on the paper desperately with the red crayon. Soon, another piece of bright red filled the white paper. Find out what she's drawing.

"Aunt Feng, what are you drawing?" The nurse asked again.

This time Mother Feng responded, she should have just finished this part, when she stopped writing, she slowly turned her thin body around.

Older than Chu Xue remembered, but not more haggard, but her face was gray, as if there was a layer of haze covering it, but when Feng's mother saw Chu Xue, her eyes lit up slightly , and even smiled.

"It's you, Ah Yan finally expected you, come in and sit down." Feng's mother's reaction surprised Chu Xue. He was worried that his sudden visit would scare Feng's mother, but he never thought of it. Guo Feng's mother would be so warm to him.

The nurse was obviously also a little surprised, not sure if Feng's mother was really happy because of Chu Xue's arrival, in fact, she rarely saw Feng's mother showing such an expression, even when Feng Yan came, she was always calm .The nurse couldn't tell the difference, so she had to tell Chu Xue before he entered the door: "Ring the bell if you need anything."

"Okay." Chu Xue agreed and entered Feng's mother's ward.

Feng's mother asked Chu Xue to sit by the window, and said to him, "Can Auntie draw a picture for you?"

Chu Xue nodded: "Okay."

Feng's mother changed a piece of drawing paper, lowered her head to pick up the pen again, and said: "A Yan often told me about you, it seems that it has been many years, and said that I have never been able to find you, and I don't know where you went alone. "

Chu Xue followed Feng's mother's words: "At that time, something happened at home, so I ran away."

"A Yan also told me that you broke up with him."

Feng's mother said these words naturally, but Chu Xue's heart was shocked, and she couldn't help stammering: "Ah, auntie, you...you know it all."

"I know, why don't you know? Auntie is sick, not because her brain is broken. Auntie is very clear, and Ah Yan didn't hide it from me. I know it's because of me. I'm already like this, but I After all, she is a mother, and I hope he can be happy." Feng's mother finally found a crayon with a color she was satisfied with, and began to draw Chu Xue on the drawing paper.

"Ah, auntie, I'll treat him well, and I won't make trouble anymore." Chu Xue still stuttered a little, and was a little embarrassed when she said it.

"You are very good, but he is not good. He doesn't know how to cherish. I know what he said. You must not be like me. I have been thinking about it all the time, and I suddenly thought about it recently. How can feelings be forced? Or Only when two people are happy can they be harmonious and beautiful, I failed to give Ah Yan a harmonious and beautiful home, but you gave it to him, Auntie thank you."

Chu Xue's heart was shaken, and she quickly said: "No, no, auntie, don't say that. In fact, in fact, I forced him at the beginning. I didn't understand it at the time. I thought it was enough to just treat him well."

"That's right, Auntie was young and ignorant at that time, and she left Ah Yan alone and helpless for so many years. It would have been fine if Ah Yan hadn't been born, then I would have to bear the consequences alone." While writing, he said that he didn’t look at Chu Xue from the beginning to the end. Chu Xue was not sure whether Feng’s mother painted him or not, and he didn’t know how to respond to Feng’s mother’s words. He thought that if there was no Feng Yan, then he should what to do?

Chu Xue lowered her head and murmured: "Auntie, if you think so, then, don't you, in fact, my mother also regrets giving birth to me?" Feng Yan's parents and the illusion of his parents maintaining their marriage, which one is better, but in fact Feng Yan's mother has always been there, and he suddenly realized that Feng's mother might be accompanying Feng Yan in another way, at least not like him. His mother abandoned him so selfishly. Just now the nurse mentioned that severe depression patients like Feng's mother committed suicide very seriously, but Feng's mother endured the suffering and worked hard to live. Does it mean that she is actually trying to make up for Feng Yan? , didn't Feng Yan lose a mother?

Feng's mother was slightly taken aback when she heard Chu Xue's words, and then raised her head to look at Chu Xue.

"Son, don't be sad, Auntie really wants to say something cheeky, since you are with Ah Yan, why don't you just call me 'Mom'."

Chu Xue raised his head immediately, his eyes were already full of emotion, then he opened his mouth, and suddenly called out: "Mom."

Mother Feng laughed again, with tears in her smile, and the next moment she couldn't help crying loudly, which made Chu Xue panic instantly.

He rushed forward, knelt down and hugged her, and coaxed her softly, as if he was getting used to the address that had been vacant for five years: "Mom, mother..."