Mindful

Liang Cheng walked half a meter away from the window, stopped in his tracks, stared at the star-studded high sky, swallowed, held his phone tightly and said, "Are you downstairs, come up."

Qiao Yuanlin's neck was sore, he hung up the phone and walked into the lobby of the unit. The landline of the security guard on duty rang, and the other party got up to help him use the elevator after answering.

The elevator door was illuminated by a silver mirror all over his body. Qiao Yuanlin felt inexplicably nervous, but he couldn't help arranging his hair and collar.After ascending to the 52nd floor, he stepped onto the corridor to Liang Cheng's door.

Before he raised his hand to ring the doorbell, the door opened and he was dragged in.

The lunch box and the cup hit the shoe cabinet, jingling, Liang Cheng pressed Qiao Yuanlin behind the door and kissed him from the corner of his mouth to the bead of his lips. He was shirtless, and his body temperature was beyond the normal range.

Everything was too sudden, Qiao Yuanlin closed his eyes to bear it, he was too confused to react.

Liang Cheng was not satisfied, he slid down his shoulders with his hands, caressed his arms, touched his fingers and removed the lunch box and water cup that was in the way, and took his hand and put it on his waist.

Qiao Yuanlin only had a little oxygen left in his brain, and he couldn't control his body anymore. He put his arms around Liang Cheng's back, touched a raised scar, felt like it was scalded, and slowly covered it with his fingertips stiffly.

His reaction seemed to irritate Liang Cheng, his lips were wet, and his jaw was forcefully licked open, he relaxed his whole body, wanting to faint from the lack of oxygen in this kiss.

The two woke up suddenly when the phone rang.

It was a phone call from the hospital. Liang Cheng didn't know how much willpower he had to let go of it. He tried his best to calm down his breathing, and walked aside to answer it.

Qiao Yuanlin blushed and was still panting. He spun twice in the hallway in confusion, bent down to pick up the lunch box and water glass and took them to the dining room.

Regarding some questions after the surgery, Liang Cheng patiently said, his eyes fixed on Qiao Yuanlin, and when he returned to the entrance, he quickly chased after him and blocked the door.

After finishing the last sentence, Liang Cheng hung up and took out the newly bought slippers after that night.

Qiao Yuanlin nodded and lowered his eyes, and said, "Aunt He left some food for you."

Liang Cheng dug out He Jie's WeChat account, and said, "She asked me to order something light. You left it for me?"

"We can't finish eating." Qiao Yuanlin walked around, "I still have something to do, so I'll go back first."

Liang Cheng stepped sideways to block it, and said in a low voice, "Don't leave tonight."

Qiao Yuanlin couldn't tell whether this was simply to persuade him to stay, or a hint, so he asked calmly, "What do you want to do?"

"Afraid that I will bully you?" Liang Cheng swallowed the revived desire, showing weakness roguely, "Don't overdo it, stay with me and treat it as the maintenance fee for the recorder."

Qiao Yuanlin failed to walk out of the gate, even if he did, Liang Cheng would have to carry him back.

The bathroom was still full of steam. There was a new set of pajamas and a new pair of underwear on the shelf. Toothbrushes and towels were also prepared. When Qiao Yuanlin took a shower, he thought, is this called "half-push and half-do"?

He stood in front of the mirror after washing, his cheeks were flushed, trying to find something from the bottles and jars to suppress his complexion.

Liang Cheng knocked on the door and came in, opened the storage cabinet on the wall, took out a bottle of lotion from it, and said, "I don't know if it's good or not."

Qiao Yuanlin observed the inside of the cabinet while wiping. There were a lot of things, including hand sanitizer, shaving foam, and facial cleanser. There was a colorful unknown object in the corner.

He looked carefully, but Nai He could only see the edge.

Liang Cheng realized that he pulled it apart layer by layer and took out the thing. It was a set of hand cream given to doctors and nurses by women and children on March [-]th. He Jie gave him one, and he never bothered to apply it.

Qiao Yuanlin looked at it, and he wasn't used to it either.

Suddenly, Liang Cheng said: "There is no Viagra in the cabinet, I don't need it."

Getting angry at the mention of black history, Qiao Yuanlin said, "Don't mention Viagra."

Liang Cheng said again: "There are no condoms and lubricating fluid, so it doesn't take such a big fight to relieve it once in a while."

Qiao Yuanlin's inquiring gaze just now was seen through, and he whispered softly, "It's none of my business."

Liang Cheng took off the towel and put it on his head, and explained while wiping: "I have never had a good time with anyone, neither in England nor in China, and no one else has been here except you."

Qiao Yuanlin asked: "Then did you have... impulsive feelings for me eight years ago?"

"You were too young at the time." Liang Cheng didn't explicitly deny it, "But, maybe, some physical things can't be controlled sometimes."

Qiao Yuanlin hid from under the towel, messed up her hair and said, "But you only took the initiative to hug me once, and that was the day you left, on the platform."

The bedroom has been tidied and ventilated, and the sheets are flat without any traces. Qiao Yuanlin took the recording pen from the couch at the end of the bed and lay down under the covers to test it.

I recorded some nonsense, watched and deleted them one by one, and fell asleep with my head tilted before I finished deleting them.

Liang Cheng tucked in the quilt for Qiao Yuanlin, opened the drawer, and there was another old voice recorder inside. The surface was obviously worn out, and it had been repaired many times over the years.

In the dead of night, he pressed the play button beside the bed, and the rough sound quality couldn't cover up the clear and clear voice of the young man.

"Brother Liang Cheng, get out of class is over!"

"Then I'm your first tablemate?"

"If you don't play tricks on me, I can die!"

"Liang Cheng, get to know you better, get closer to you, why is it so fucking difficult?!"

"You weed don't care about my flower."

"Brother, my heart is beating so fast."

"Brother, you are the best!"

"Rumors are spreading that I'm having sex with you."

"Is it expired, Mr. Liang?"

"I should go to study in England."

"You haven't told me happy birthday yet."

"One day you leave Pinghai, I will remember you and miss you."

"You gave me dreams come true, I wish your wishes come true."

"Liang Cheng, can you just be my superman?"

"Stay if you like."

"Will you go back to Pinghai?"

"Do you have even the slightest liking for me?"

These recordings are Liang Cheng's most secret privacy. His shady behavior, hidden emotions, and mottled and gloomy thoughts were all bred and quietly recorded that summer without anyone knowing.

At that time, he couldn't extricate himself from it. Over the years, he listened to it over and over again. When he was in pain and suffering, he thought of the 16-year-old boy that year, as if he was saving himself.

At the end of the playback, the recorder made a noisy sound.

Qiao Yuanlin moved in his sleep, click, Liang Cheng pressed pause.

The seven-day holiday slipped away during the busy schedule, and because of the special occupation, no one in the family was able to celebrate the National Day.

After the festival, the number of tourists in the city decreased significantly, and everyone resumed their daily life.Instead, they could rest. Qiao Wenyuan and He Jie decided to go on a self-driving tour.

Qiao Yuanlin was too lazy to move, didn't think about how to arrange it, and initially planned to sleep at home.

He Jie was worried, and suggested that Liang Cheng should take care of her, so that someone would find out if she was unconscious.Qiao Wenyuan was embarrassed, after all, Liang Cheng rarely had a vacation, so he drove Qiao Yuanlin to Yao Fu's house for a temporary stay.

When they couldn't settle down, Liang Cheng himself came and had already made arrangements to go on a trip to relax, and asked Qiao Yuanlin if he would like to go with him.

Qiao Yuanlin lay flat on the sofa like a dead body, and said strangely: "It feels like you are not someone who likes to travel."

"I don't hate it either." Liang Cheng said, "Go, I'll book a ticket for you."

Qiao Yuanlin felt tired, but when he chatted with Yao Fu that night about his missed spring outing, he suddenly became a little tempted and asked, "Is it just the two of us? There are too few people and there is no atmosphere."

Liang Cheng said: "It's easy to handle, just call two people."

Qiao Yuanlin agreed, and his parents were relieved.That night, He Jie was practicing yoga in the living room, and he was mentally handicapped but sincerely praising her. Halfway through the puffing, Qiao Wenyuan called him to the bedroom.

It's been a long time since he stepped into the master bedroom for the first time. There were suitcases spread out on the floor. Qiao Wenyuan was picking out clothes in front of the closet. He turned around and handed him a bank card.

Qiao Yuanlin took it first and put it in his pocket, then asked, "Dad, what's the matter?"

"There is some money in the card, and the password is your birthday." Qiao Wenyuan said, "Take it for travel, you have to be conscious, you can't let Liang Cheng spend all the money."

Qiao Yuanlin nodded, and asked, "How much money is there?"

Qiao Wenyuan glared at him: "It's definitely not enough to buy a big Ben. Did you listen to me? I think you and Liang Cheng get along well. You are right to treat him as a big brother, but you are not brothers after all."

Some intimate scenes vaguely emerged, Qiao Yuanlin scratched his head: "Can you express it?"

"I'll tell you to be careful." Qiao Wenyuan's position dictates that he cares about his reputation very much, "Even if you are a big brother, you can't feel at ease to bother him, understand?"

Not only did Qiao Yuanlin understand, but he also remembered Yao Fu's motto of coming out of the closet, so he went along with the flow: "Then who can be so troublesome with peace of mind?"

"Father and son with broken bones and tendons." Qiao Wenyuan said with a look of vigilance, "What's your plan? It's just this card."

Qiao Yuanlin said: "Isn't that suitable?"

Qiao Wenyuan stared at him as if he was studying an X-ray, and replied: "No. It is only possible to enter into a marriage and become a family member. The partner may break up someday."

Qiao Yuanlin hinted: "Then homosexuals cannot get married, what should I do?"

Qiao Wenyuan didn't think about it, and he was very speechless: "It's about your grandma's house, talking about you and your brother, why are you worried about being gay?"

Let's finish here today, Qiao Yuanlin stopped in time and said, "I understand, I will only spend your money and trouble you in the future, thank you Dad."

The next morning, Qiao Wenyuan and He Jie drove off, and Liang Cheng took Qiao Yuanlin to the train station.

Autumn is crisp, but a bit cold. Qiao Yuanlin put on a loose and soft sweater early on, and a layer of thin fleece to keep him warm.A taxi stopped, and he shouted enthusiastically, "Brother Ying!"

Liang Cheng opened his knee-length windbreaker and waved.He didn't call the fourth child, because he was afraid that he would argue with Qiao Yuanlin all the way, and the other party would not be available for the live broadcast.

Ying Xiaoqiong came over with her bag and asked, "Just the three of us?"

Just after finishing speaking, Zheng Yandong got out of another taxi.

The four checked tickets and entered the waiting hall. Qiao Yuanlin usually flew by plane when he was in college, and hadn't been to the train station for many years.He looked around and walked ahead, feeling that little had changed.

There was still a while before the ticket check, Liang Cheng sat on a chair reading "Tropical Diseases", and Zheng Yandong sat next to him and read "Truth Identification".

Ying Xiaoqiong shook her head. During the National Day, the Seafood Exchange business was booming. He made a fortune, put his arms around Qiao Yuanlin and said, "Let's go, brother will buy you delicious food."

The two scavenged three big bags of snacks in the specialty store, and they might be overwhelmed before they reached their destination. Qiao Yuanlin threw a bag of buttered peanuts at Liang Cheng's book and said, "Don't read it."

Liang Cheng obediently closed the book, tore open the package and returned it to him, and asked, "Can you swim? There is a natural lake where we are going."

"You can take a bath." Qiao Yuanlin said awkwardly, "Brother Ying, your swimming trunks aren't bright red, are they?"

Zheng Yandong chuckled.

Ying Xiaoqiong said angrily: "I haven't entered the station yet, be careful to retreat."

Immediately after the broadcast sounded in the hall, they started queuing up to check tickets. Qiao Yuanlin put his arm around Ying Xiaoqiong's shoulders and said, "Brother Ying, I want to hear you talk about the situation in the prison. Once the materials are used, there must be a big thank you."

Ying Xiaoqiong said: "Why don't you ask Liang Cheng?"

"...that past is his sad thing."

"Fuck, am I happy in jail?!"

Zheng Yandong couldn't stop laughing behind him, and wanted to have some fun, so he leaned over to listen.Liang Cheng gradually fell behind, he raised his hand to touch the pocket of the windbreaker.

After entering the station, the ticket checking line dispersed, and people walked forward chaotically. Qiao Yuanlin was stepped on and stopped in pain.

In a few seconds, there were strangers around him, and Ying Xiaoqiong and Zheng Yandong walked by.

He couldn't catch up, and squeezed his ticket up the escalator with the crowd.

When he stepped on the platform, Qiao Yuanlin's legs suddenly felt heavy, and it was as if a handful of fluffy catkins had been swallowed in his chest, flying around, clogging the blood vessels of the atrium and ventricle.

He had difficulty breathing, and there was a muffled sound, and the thin fleece stuck to his back that was dripping with cold sweat.

As he got closer to the carriage, his footsteps became slower and slower, and finally stopped, standing in the crowd with eyes wide open in panic.

Where is Liang Cheng? Where is Liang Cheng?

It turned out that his shadow never got rid of, and he thought that if he didn't mention it, it didn't happen.But the thorn planted eight years ago is buried deep in my heart, in the same place, on this platform, and it will break through the ground at this moment, piercing through the self-protection or self-deception barrier he built.

Before breaking down, he was going to escape.

Qiao Yuanlin turned around in a panic, but bumped into Liang Cheng's embrace.

He raised his trembling eyelashes and said, "What you said the day you left...do you remember?"

I will never have love for him, and when I see him, I think of the sins of the past.

Liang Chengqiang calmed down and said, "That's not true."

Qiao Yuanlin asked: "Then what is true?"

Liang Cheng took out the recording pen and held it to Qiao Yuanlin's ear, the pain burned on the platform was soothed on the platform, and he lightly pressed the play button.

The noisy sound seemed to coincide with the current environment.

Then there is the whistle of the train starting, and the last sentence of the recording.

The 20-year-old Liang Cheng is sitting on the train, heading for an unknown distant place.He has tasted enough sourness, and has the courage to experience anything, but he dare not look back at the figure on the platform.

Holding the recording pen to his lips, he recorded the real farewell to Qiao Yuanlin that day.

"If we meet each other, I will only be your superman."