[Black Basket] Star Trail

"Have you ever lost the love of your heart?"

"You want to talk to them again, you want to make up for the quicksands between your fingers, the times you thought you'd never part. If you long for the chance, you'll know, and you can count the days Live the rest of your life and not have a single day that is more important than the one you want."

Kanzawa Norie glanced sideways at the clock, it was almost two o'clock, she turned over to the right.

There was a faint moonlight covering the floor-to-ceiling glass, another breathing sound came from under the bed, and the sound of the air purifier operating was especially loud at midnight, and the girl closed her eyes slightly agitated.

How many nights is this, tossing and turning in bed?She has forgotten.Recent memory of everyday life is always hazy.For example, she has now forgotten what she had for dinner—it was probably fast food—but during this period of time, the proportion of "daily life" is not large.

Ever heard of that theory?

At a normal speaking rate, it takes one second to say four words.Kanzawa Norie had heard of this theory a long time ago, but she had never practiced it until after that incident, she began to cultivate the habit of counting silently in her heart, so that she could calm down and get rid of those disturbing thoughts. thoughts.

And that recurring nightmare.

Norie Kanzawa still remembers every little detail of that day.

It was late April, and she had just entered the second year of junior high school. All the troubles were that the class was too boring, and the cats and dogs at home began to shed their hair, and other small things.Apart from these, life maintains a steady rhythm, so leisurely that it almost kills one's will.

And change comes suddenly like a storm.

Just 15 minutes into the English class, the head teacher walked in anxiously and whispered something to the teacher on the podium.Kanzawa Norie was still playing with pens at first, but when she moved her eyes, she saw her younger brother through the crack of the door. The black-haired boy was waiting outside with his schoolbag.In the moment, she realized that she needed to worry.

The English teacher glanced at Kanzawa Norie without any trace, and nodded to the head teacher.The latter walked towards her, and lowered his voice when he spoke, as if he was afraid of being heard by the people around him.

"Please pack your schoolbag immediately and follow me."

"I just received a call from your brother, saying that Mr. and Mrs. Shenze were in a car accident, and I want you to go to the hospital immediately."

A thin layer of sweat broke out from the boy's hands.

Kanzawa Norie looked at him sideways, the boy pursed his lips tightly, his slender eyelashes drooping, thinking about his own affairs.She touched the back of his hand reassuringly, but frowned tightly.

She was fine this morning, how could such a thing happen in the future?

The accompanying teacher drove the car very fast within the limit of not breaking the law.Kanzawa Norie couldn't remember how he walked out of school, his body moved as if he had self-awareness, and when he regained consciousness, he sat on the back seat of the car.Until later, Kanzawa Norie didn't know the details of the accident, how did the whole thing happen, what was the cause of their parents' death, and what was their last thought before they lost consciousness?

──She didn't get an answer.

When the two ran into the hospital, waiting for them was only the elder brother who hung his head and said nothing, and his body covered with white cloth.Their footsteps gradually slowed down, the black-haired boy let go of her hand, lost his warmth, and the coldness suddenly covered him.

Kanzawa Norie took a few steps forward, wanted to reach out his hand, and lifted the white cloth to confirm for himself, but his brother held her hand down.

"Don't look." His voice was hoarse, and the girl saw that his eyes were red.The black-haired young man took her hand and re-covered the cloth, "There are too many stitches in the operation, he doesn't want you to see... that look."

The black-haired boy was still a few steps away, but the girl bit her lip and turned around slowly, walked over and hugged him, but it seemed more like she fell into his arms.He didn't move at first, then stretched out his arms to embrace him as if he had woken up, pressed his head, and buried his head in the girl's neck.Hugging each other like this is rare after they grow up.

If words and tears fail to vent the wrath in the heart, wrath at themselves—

So it's not necessarily impossible to find a support for yourself with a hug, right?

What the girl cares about is not worth mentioning in the face of sudden life and death.

She would rather give everything in exchange for that "goodbye", the only chance to say goodbye.In those sleepless nights before, when she closed her eyes, the scene at that time would reappear in front of her eyes.In the vast white hospital, the white Gabe, the crying that he tried to suppress, and the hot tears that fell on her shoulders from his younger brother.

Both the perception of hunger and the experience of fatigue seemed to be dulled.Kanzawa Jihui occasionally looked at herself in the mirror, and felt that this extremely haggard girl was not herself at all.She couldn't help recalling that all the comforting words she had heard were just a breeze, unable to make even a wave.

She knew she had to get up, no matter how long it took.The death of the parents not only separated the Shenze family, but also put the remaining three people in trouble. The elder brother started to work early and late to work, just to become the pillar of the family, and the girl knew this.

Some people are not meant to be forgotten.They die, but they still live in the hearts of their loved ones, forever and never fade.This alone cannot be erased from the Book of Life by Death.

Just as there are always some people who are special to you and cannot be banned.

Kanzawa Norie has had.

And two of them are now separated from her life and death.

The patter of rain.

A flock of crows flew across the sky, drawing a streak of ink.The girl put away the umbrella, pulled the ponytail on the back of her head, and her brown hair brushed against her palm.Kanzawa Norie smoothly pulled the broken hair from her sideburns behind her ears, put the umbrella on the outside shelf, and then took out the key.

The whole of Tokyo was shrouded in thunderstorms in May, groggy like a black and white photo.

The upper lock turned one circle to the left, and the lower one turned two circles to the right──The girl opened the wooden door lightly, because the house was dark from the outside, so her fingertips naturally pressed on the black lock. Turn off the light switch.

Yet there is light in the house.

The girl looked at the switch strangely, it was indeed turned off, but...

"Ji Hui."

Someone came out of the kitchen.

The brown-haired woman called softly.

"……Mother?"

──How could it appear here?

The girl glanced at the dining table, and there were indeed red tulips, her mother's favorite flower.Since her death, the family has never cared about these little things, but since Hua is here...

Not a dream?

"I bought wagashi." The man came out with a box of desserts.

Her mother loves sweets, especially the ones produced by a long-established wagashi shop in Tokyo. The girl herself is not too sweet, but she will finish them every time without knowing it.Kanzawa Norie glanced down, the wagashi was in the shape of a cherry blossom, the pink dessert was cut with forks on the tip, and there was a goose yellow stamen decoration in the middle.

Not even this kind of detail is wrong!

The girl took the snack, stuck her fingers to the edge of the plastic box, and slid it back and forth, as if she wanted to wake herself up with the slightest pain, "...Where's Dad?"

"At the company, it's still early." The woman took the china plates and cutlery enthusiastically.It was only then that Kanzawa Norie noticed that the woman had no shadow, but an unusually vivid projection.Kanzawa Jihui, who saw the facts clearly, felt a sinking heart, with a subtle sense of stability, "He said that the family will go out for dinner tonight?"

"Really...Mom, I have something to tell you. Can you listen carefully?"

"Huh? What is it?"

The girl sat on the sofa, "Brother has been drinking a lot lately, and I can't persuade him... To be honest, I never knew he was so good at drinking. Open the bottle as soon as you finish eating, and drink until you lose consciousness. , and then get up the next day and go to work again.”

"If this continues, the body will fall off sooner or later... Hey, mom, can you persuade him?"

"And Ji Zheng, he has become quite taciturn these days. You and Dad know how healthy he is. I don't even seem to have a cold in my memory? But he just got sick and lost a few kilograms. His face was as pale as mine... If Dad knew, he would surely say, 'Twins indeed' with worry and amused, right?"

"Hey. Mom."

"Sure enough, you are not here, and many things have become difficult. Can you teach us how to do it?"

The woman smiled.

"We've been here all along?"

Kanazawa Norie opened her eyes slightly. "Eh?"

"So didn't you say it, we've been here all the time," the mother's smile was as gentle as ever, as if nothing could make her panic - just on this point, Kanzawa Norie felt that she was too weak. "I've always been there, and I won't leave. So you don't have to bear it when you are unhappy, and you can laugh when you are happy. You don't need to be afraid when you face adversity. When you are lonely, there are family members other than me and my father here."

"Tell me, Ji Hui, what are you afraid of?"

Kanzawa Norie looked at his mother, staring so intently, as if he wanted to draw every inch of her outline on paper.I don't know when the eyes were filled with tears, and the vision was hazy. The girl blinked to make herself see more clearly, "I'm afraid that the decision I made doesn't meet everyone's expectations. I'm afraid of disappointing others. My family can't understand my every motive..."

The man smiled again.

"Ji Hui is really an idiot."

"The so-called family means that the whole world doesn't like you, and they will support your existence."

The brown-haired girl opened her eyes.

The pillow was a little wet, and the eyes were extremely dry, presumably she cried in her sleep.She touched the eyedrops on the bedside table with her backhand, and after dripping two drops, she felt better.

There is a slight morning light in the distant sky, and there are birds chirping outside the window.

The golden retriever beside the bed was lying in the den, his stomach slowly bulging, and he was fast asleep.Today is May [-], [-]. After taking a half-month vacation, she returned to school for the first time.