bereavement

After playing the game for half an hour, Xie Qin fell asleep, lying on his back on the sofa, his face covered tightly by a towel, and he didn't know if he was short of oxygen.

Jiang Yan wanted to finish the video conference, and carried Xie Qin to the bed in the bedroom. He also lay down under the quilt, kissed Xie Qin's hair, and closed his eyes to sleep.

Xie Qin has hardly ever been hugged to sleep since he was a child. One of his parents didn't want to hug him, and the other was a sleepwalker. He always lay on him in the middle of the night, and sometimes gave him a hard kiss on the face. The saliva on his tongue washes his face, sometimes he pulls his eyelashes, strangles his neck, and pulls his teeth.

That's right, it was Xie Qin's own father.

Xie Qin's second father was not friendly to him either. One second he was hugging him on the bed, and the next second he was groping him on the bed. Jiang Yanyu's temper gradually became normal with age, and he was alive and well before the age of 25 Just one beast can stand up to two Xie Qin's fathers.

At that time, he was still a manic rich second generation, backed by his parents, he could do whatever he wanted, and he could do whatever he wanted to Xie Qin.

Most of Xie Qin’s resentment towards him was accumulated during those two years. Even after Jiang Yanyu learned to control his temper, went to see a psychiatrist, tried his best to suppress those paranoid and twisted desires in his heart, and gave Xie Qin freedom and allowed him to be willful. Thank you Chin never forgave him, not for a second.

In the past, Xie Qin actually had pride, but it was a pity that Jiang Yanyu smashed it all.

He throws his phone away at every turn, not because he really doesn't need it.After Jiang Yanyu used his mouth for the first time, he was very satisfied, so he was "rewarded" with a mobile phone, which can track and locate in real time throughout the day, and check the phone information every night.

If an unfamiliar number other than Jiang Yanyu appears in the call log, Xie Qin will be suspected, jealous, and questioned for a whole week.

Jiang Yanyu said that the only function of the mobile phone is to convey orders. He coldly said "come here" on the other side of the phone, and Xie Qin, a dog, had to run home to deliver his ass. To Xie Qin, such things as mobile phones are just a kind of irony , a shame nailed to the bone.

The first time Xie Qin smoked was fed by his father himself, and the reason why he became addicted to smoking was that Jiang Yanyu flicked ash on him in front of a group of rich second-generation friends, calling him a trash can and an ashtray, Then he pressed the cigarette butt on the back of his hand.

Since then, Xie Qin has been inseparable from cigarettes. He began to abuse his throat and lungs, hoping to smoke a lethal dose.

Jiang Yanyu also taught him a truth. That day he was placed between the window and the anti-theft net, sandwiched in mid-air. Jiang Yanyu looked at him crying through the closed window, and told him that those who did wrong must be taught a lesson. Long memory.

So when the dean woke him up to sleep, Xie Qin pushed his entire upper body out of the window. The method Jiang Yanyu taught him was very useful. Since then, the whole school has a long memory. Everyone knows that he got up very angry. like a cow.

A few days ago, he taught Yin Jie a lesson, and he used very insulting means. After Jiang Yanyu heard the recording, his reaction was flat, because Xie Qin would kneel on the ground when he was disobedient, slap himself and say sorry at the same time.

Jiang Yanyu was already tired of watching it.

Thinking about it, Xie Qin suddenly couldn't breathe in his chest, and something in his heart suddenly fell to the bottom, and a bad premonition surged up. He immediately opened his eyes and pushed Jiang Yanyu's shoulder.

Jiang Yanyu woke up almost instantly, looked into his eyes, and waited for him to speak.

"Go buy Lauraxi and Lefuting," Xie Qin said with a trembling voice, "Fluoxetine is also fine."

He shouldn't be thinking so many messy things when he fell asleep, the consequences were too bad, and he relapsed into depression.

Jiang Yanyu reacted very quickly and did not panic. Xie Qin calmed down a little with his calm and calm appearance. He quickly dialed the phone, put the phone in Xie Qin's hand, squeezed it firmly, stared at him and said, "Don't hang."

After seeing Xie Qin nodding, he immediately rushed downstairs to buy medicine.

Xie Qin held the phone tightly, he couldn't control his brain more and more, he shouted in his heart: Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it, but the pictures and even details of those things frantically flooded into his mind. The feeling is really crawling all over the body again.

After the grief and indignation reached its peak, his teeth were trembling, tears suddenly overflowed uncontrollably, his vision became blurred, and all his senses were focused on the image in his brain. Xie Qin gritted his teeth, quickly wiped away his tears, and turned his eyes towards Look around, distract yourself, and force yourself to ignore what's going on in your head.

The sound of car horns on the mobile phone never stopped, Jiang Yanyu did not say a word, and kept racing in silence.

During the four years in prison, each depressive attack would cost Xie Qin half his life. He was really afraid of this disease. The attack felt like the separation of the body and soul of the whole person. He could not control his brain at all. Like a bystander in the air, he watched his brain manipulate his body and pick up a knife to injure himself.

He tried to yell at himself over and over again, "Stop", "Go take the depressants", "Don't listen to your brain, don't do anything, just stay where you are and don't do anything".

The final result is always that the body is completely out of control, and the second his reason is overthrown by the impulse, the knife will cut his wrist at the same time.

Jiang Yanyu had already bought the medicine and rushed back. Xie Qin kept taking deep breaths, and he was about to crack. His unsatisfied brain was saying to his body: "Go to the kitchen and get the knife, get the knife quickly", he chanted crazily in his heart Don't listen to bastard chant scriptures.

After 3 minutes passed, Xie Qin couldn't bear it any longer. He uttered several obscenities, smashed the desk lamp on the bedside table with his fist, and yelled at the phone, "Your uncle!"

"Well," Jiang Yan wanted to bear it: "My uncle's."

"Apologize to me."

Xie Qin knelt on the bed and pulled his hair. Now he really wants to go to the kitchen.

Jiang Yanyu gritted his teeth: "I'm sorry."

"Hurry up hurry up hurry up hurry up."

"Two minutes," Jiang Yanyu tried to help him stabilize his emotions, "If it is useful to scold me, continue."

Xie Qin was not polite to him, he opened his mouth with a string of obscenities, and punched the wall a few times while cursing, his voice was hoarse enough to be congested with blood, desperately suppressing the emotions that were about to explode.

Jiang Yanyu can assure you that all the swear words he has heard in the past 30 years of his life are not as vicious as Xie Qin's words today.

He twitched the corner of his mouth, silently put on the bluetooth headset and turned it into white noise, sighed, and said to Xie Qin, "You're right, ancestor."

When he rushed home, the bedroom was already in a terrible state. The desk lamp was broken all over the floor. Xie Qin hit his fist so hard that his knuckles were broken, and there was blood on the sheets and walls.

Jiang Yanyu quickly fed him the medicine, knelt down and looked at his expressionless face, blood and tears were mixed together, his eyes were so dull that they lost focus, empty, as if he had died.

Jiang Yanyu had seen Xie Qin like this before, four years ago, during the rainy night when he stabbed someone.

He promised himself that he would never let Xie Qin become like this again.

At this moment, Jiang Yanyu suddenly felt that he could not save Xie Qin at all.

No one can save.

The side effects of anti-depression drugs are very serious, the most common one is drowsiness after calming down the emotions. Jiang Yanyu is going to fly to Shenzhen tonight, Xie Qin fell into a deep sleep, he hesitated and didn't wake him up.

A patient who has just finished a depression attack cannot be allowed to suffer from parting.

Jiang Yanyu was not sure that he could come back within three days. Before leaving, he left a note by the bedside, cooked a table of dishes, and stocked up a refrigerator full of food.

He stood by the bed, lit a cigarette, and stared at Xie Qin's face in a daze. After a while, he went out and bought a giant bear doll and put it next to Xie Qin.

I hope that when the little ancestor wakes up, he will not feel lonely and disappointed because there is no one around him.

Jiang Yanyu bent down, kissed Xie Qin's hair deeply, and stroked his lips with his fingertips, suddenly wanting to try how it feels to kiss him.

Just do what you think in your heart.

In the past, he and Xie Qin didn't call it kissing, but chewing each other.

The movement was very light, without waking people up, Jiang Yanyu took one last look at Xie Qin before leaving.

One last look.