bereavement

Xie Qin curled up on the bed, his face was almost bloodless. He stayed up all night and retched in the second half of the night. There was something churning in his stomach, but it was stuck in his throat and he couldn't vomit it out.

Breathing became weaker and weaker, Xie Qin slowly closed his eyes.

Jiang Yanyu didn't feel any better, he smoked for a whole night.

He looked at Xie Qin's face in the surveillance, pale and bleak, his already skinny figure was thinner, his calf was terribly thin, and the bone in his ankle protruded obviously.

Jiang Yanyu's Adam's apple rolled with difficulty, and finally his heart softened.

He came to the storage room with a water glass and opened the door. Xie Qin's eyelashes trembled. He was so weak that he couldn't lift his eyelids, and he barely opened his eyes a crack.

Jiang Yanyu put his arms around his back, helped him up and leaned against the head of the bed, Xie Qin looked at the water glass dumbly, and didn't speak.

Jiang Yanyu stood beside the bed with a cold face and did not move.

Two by two stalemate.

In the end, it was Xie Qin who succumbed.

He slowly approached Jiang Yanyu, knelt and straightened his upper body, his handcuffed hands hanging in the air.

Xie Qin looked up at Jiang Yanyu and said in a hoarse voice, "Wrong."

"continue."

"I'm sorry." Xie Qin lowered his head.

Jiang Yanyu glanced at him, uncuffed the handcuffs, handed the water cup to Xie Qin's mouth, and fed him water in silence.

Xie Qin is like a well-behaved dog.

He drank a whole glass of water, staring at the empty water glass, focusing his slack eyes little by little.

"I'm so sorry."

Jiang Yanyu didn't speak.

Xie Qin's voice suddenly became cold: "I regret touching your car."

"Bam—"

The water glass was suddenly knocked over with a punch, and the glass exploded instantly.

Xie Qin fell to the ground from the bed, quickly grabbed a sharp piece of glass, and slashed hard on his wrist without hesitation.

Insane.

The crack was extremely deep, the flesh turned out, and a large amount of blood gushed out.

Hope it's the artery that's torn.

The moment Xie Qin fainted, these words sounded in his mind, before he had time to see Jiang Yanyu's reaction, he lost consciousness.

……

There are many happy children in this world, Sechin is not one of them.

He smoked for the first time when he was six years old, and his father hand-fed him.

Saying funny, Xie Qin thought that sex was slapped when he was a child.

Every time his father came home drunk, he would pull his mother into the bedroom, breath out alcohol and say to Xie Qin: "Adults have sex, children don't watch it."

Xie Qin said yes, and then a woman's cry came from the bedroom, screaming like a pig being killed.

After a loud bang, his mother opened the door and came out with bruises and tears all over her face, and bleeding from her scalp.

Seeing Xie Qin standing at the door, she slapped him, crying and roaring, "Bastard!"

Xie Qin slapped her back unceremoniously, calling her an idiot.

Dad will come out of the bedroom at this time, praising Xieqin for doing a good job, he is indeed his son.

Xie Qin never felt sorry for his mother, nor did he think there was anything wrong with his father's behavior.

Every time he saw a classmate being bullied, Xie Qin would rush up excitedly and give the classmate a kick.

He was not afraid of girls crying, and even felt that tears were an extremely disgusting and useless thing. Whether others were so sad that they shed tears, or moved to the point of moist eyes, Xie Qin didn't respond.

He doesn't know what empathy is, what empathy is, he just thinks these people are hypocritical and ridiculous.

Those so-called feelings are dispensable to Xie Qin.

The doctor said that he probably suffered from antisocial personality disorder, and Xie Qin scolded bullshit, saying that the male doctor had breast cancer.

When he came home with the psychological diagnosis certificate, his mother collapsed when she saw it. She beat him and scolded him, saying that Xie Qin was a pervert, a son of a bitch, following his father.

Said that he regretted giving birth to Xie Qin and wanted to give him up to others, but Xie Qin's father disagreed.

The two were fighting all day and night, and there was not a complete piece of furniture in the house.

Xie Qin hoped that his parents would perish together and die together, so that he could sleep well if the house was quiet.

But before both parents died, Xie Qin was so annoyed that he couldn't stand it anymore, and ran away from home decisively.

At first, Xie Qin only thought that his parents' quarreling every day was boring, but later he found that this world is also boring and unfair.

There are children who grow up sleeping in marshmallows, protected and innocent, full of kindness and innocence.

The most difficult suffering I have suffered since I was a child is the death of a pet I have raised for a long time, failure in exams, lovelorn,

Parents will fight for them in the misery in life. They don't have to bear the heavy blow of reality alone. The moment when people really grow up begins with the death of their loved ones.

At the same time, there are other children who live like mice in the dirty sewers, afraid of light, and have low self-esteem.

Kindergarteners were eating brioche and rummaging through the trash can for someone else's peeled apples.

What people of the same age pretend to be family love and dreams, what they notice is the rainbow after the sun and rain, and the beautiful little bells on the hairbands tied with girls.

As for the rats living in the sewers, what they see the most every day is passers-by subconsciously keeping distance and covering their noses, useless old dogs being beaten to death alive, and young people shooting stray cats through their eyes with bows and arrows.

It is the vicissitudes of the old man who spread the sacks on the ground to sell vegetables, but was trampled to pieces by the hooligans, the silent onlookers, and the ignorant poor people at the bottom who are forced by life to commit crimes.

They grew up looking at the ugly and dark side of human nature.

There is a lot of darkness hidden in the corners of this society, but most people walk on the asphalt road, and few people go into the corner to take a look.

Some people have never seen darkness, so they say that darkness does not exist.

The doctor said that Xie Qin was a bastard, and Xie Qin also felt that he was a bastard, but when he was 12 years old and slept on the street, Xie Qin thought he was kinder than an angel.

He discovered that so many people's lives are like a pile of shit, that people's faces can be so ugly, that human nature really has no bottom line, and that life is so boring.

The world is a cesspit, and everyone is shit in the cesspit.

There are not many emotions that Xie Qin can generate in his heart, except anger and depression. He has no empathy ability, is cold-blooded, and is too rebellious, so he cannot integrate into normal people.

He has been a loner since he was a child, and the result of being lonely to the extreme is selfishness. Apart from himself, Xie Qin doesn't trust anyone else.

Jiang Yanyu was the first person who tried to enter his world. To be precise, Jiang Yanyu came in on a rampage.

He knew what kind of virtue Xie Qin had, whether he took hard things or soft things, and using any company and warmth to influence him was bullshit.

Xie Qin has always lived in the dark, and never yearns for the light. Obtaining the light will make Xie Qin feel uneasy, always thinking that the light will leave him one day.

If he has to lose after getting it, then he would rather stay in the dark forever, without surprises, without excitement, avoiding all beginnings can avoid all endings.

So I have to say sorry to Jiang Yanyu, the love words he said were really nice, but Xie Qin didn't believe it.