Let you fall in love with me before being born again

Jing Ye watched the familiar city scenery go away little by little, first it shrunk infinitely and turned into ants, and finally even the ants gradually changed from blurred to blank, replaced by the boundless sky and the occasional passing clouds, he The astringency in my heart slowly spread, and I felt that my eye sockets seemed to be affected by it, and they became a little wet.

Is it necessary to be so sad?It's not like never going back.My younger sister Jing Feng went away to a foreign country to start a solo study career when she was in her teens, but why would someone in his 20s have to cry?He wanted to smile, but the smile couldn't reach his lips anyway, and he finally lowered his eyelids because of the interweaving of sadness and sorrow, and stuffed the wetness back into the depths of his eye sockets.

It's really ugly for a big man to cry in front of everyone, so he can only cry into his heart as usual.

What is sad is not leaving the country far away, but the feeling that cannot withstand the ravages of time.

Jing Ye asked himself many times, did he fall in love with Su Zitong?If it was true that he never loved that person as he said, why would he be so sad when he learned that he finally gave up himself and fell in love with another person?

Su Zitong, in his more than 20 years of life, these three words seem to mean more to him than his parents, but no one knows about it except himself. Of course, this also includes Su Zitong, another party involved.Therefore, Jing Ye was thinking in some days in the future, if he had let Su Zitong know his sealed heart earlier, would he not have gone far away, and eventually would not have given up on himself and fell in love with another person?It's just that there will never be an if in this world, so this relationship is doomed to be fruitless.

No one knows that the man who was first engraved with color in Jing Ye's life was not Su Zitong, but his little uncle Jing Tianheng.Jing Ye actually doesn't have much memory of this relative who died prematurely in his life, but his death made Jing Ye remember him forever.

He remembered that he was only six years old that year, and everyone thought he was young, so they didn't hide him at all, and talked about his death in front of him, the tragedy of a man committing suicide for another man who abandoned him.He will never forget how angry his most admired grandfather was when he talked about this matter. He scolded everyone, and then gave orders coldly, no one in the family is allowed to mention this name again.

Grandpa and grandma passed away very early. It should be said that both father and uncle were brought up by grandpa's family. Grandpa's favorite person besides him is little uncle Jing Tianheng, but this is his favorite person passed away , the old man not only did not shed tears, but also sent such a big anger, which puzzled Jingye for a long time.But it also made the young him remember a taboo thing that he could never break in his life, that is, men cannot like men.

It's just that I was really young at that time, and I never thought that I and Su Zitong would have any connection with the matter of the little uncle.They used to be really close, so close that they ate at the same table and slept in the same bed, he even cried and insisted on going to the same classroom with him to study.At that time, I was young and didn't know how to hide it. I only knew that this person was like his favorite toy, favorite food, and favorite anything. It must belong to him, and no one could steal it, including his parents and his sister. .In fact, he has been the most domineering person in the family since he was very young. Although he still has a younger sister, the younger sister must give way to him.

So Su Zitong became his private property, he didn't allow anyone he didn't like to talk to him, and he didn't like anyone getting too close to him.It's just that he was too young at that time, and he didn't understand what this feeling was, and Su Zitong had always pampered him, allowing him to grow up like this, until the tree was so crooked that it couldn't be crooked anymore, and he was still so unconscious.

Until one day, he suddenly recalled that lost memory, the death of his little uncle, the anger of his grandfather, and the tears and sorrow of the whole family. He suddenly discovered the relationship between him and Su Zitong in horror. It's so different, or he finally knows that his feelings for Su Zitong are called liking, but this is the thing he fears the most in his life, so scared that he learned to hide it at such a young age.

He began to consciously alienate Su Zitong, he thought that they just need to be best friends, but he didn't expect Su Zitong to let go so thoroughly.He chose to go abroad, just like he pretended to be a fool, Su Zitong used the same method to reject his proposal to follow him to go abroad, Jing Ye was really sad at that time.

That's why he deliberately didn't contact him later. It was only when he suddenly realized that Su Zitong hadn't contacted him for half a year that he suddenly realized that the fate between the two of them seemed to be really over, because now he I can't get in touch anymore.

Time walked unhurriedly, allowing him to grow up slowly. As time passed, that feeling seemed to be completely buried in the depths of his memory.It's just that when Qingli introduced Yuntong to their friends, he was stunned.It was only then that he discovered bitterly that although it is still a taboo thing in society for men to fall in love with men, it does not mean that all homosexuals in the world have to live in hiding like him.

It's just that he knew that the feeling that belonged to him had passed away at his fingertips, and it was impossible to restore it, because he couldn't even find that person.

Later, although Kang Liancheng's confession made Jingye's heart rippling, he still refused rationally.Not to mention that this love is too superficial, it is just that it is one thing to understand and agree. When things really happen to him, Jing Ye thinks that he may not have the courage of Qingli to put his forbidden love on the surface .

It's just that Jingye never expected that Su Zitong would appear in front of him so suddenly, and that the two would meet again in such an embarrassing situation. Although Qingli's behavior aroused his suspicion, the relationship with Su Zitong Seeing him ignore everything.

He thought that he had taken this relationship lightly, but when they met again, he realized that he had been deceiving himself and others, but Su Zitong was so unfamiliar that he really couldn't find a trace of the past, which made him feel lonely, but There is still a trace of fluke left in my heart, maybe this is just an appearance?

But soon Jing Ye's luck disappeared, he seemed to have no change in his treatment of himself, the same care and love as before, but the difference was still exposed bit by bit in the relationship between the two.The gaze that looked over him was no longer as hot as it used to be, and although they were still intimate, they were still more polite. As he had hoped, they had really become best friends.

It would be false not to be disappointed, but Jing Ye was a little unwilling to let go like this, so he wanted to muster up the courage to chase after him. He thought that if he did it himself, he would succeed.It's just that he hesitated again, he thought of his little uncle's death again, and the consequences he would face if he walked this path, he retreated a little tremblingly, let's just be friends, he thought so.

While thinking like this, while enjoying Su Zitong's care and care, this made him hurt himself painfully.Occasionally, I would selfishly think that this is what he wanted, not because he begged for it, so it really has nothing to do with him.

It's just that he never dreamed that Su Zitong would really fall in love with another person, and that person was still his best friend.

His entanglement for another person, his anxiety for another person, and his inexplicability for another person made Jing Ye angry in the end.He watched him use clumsy means to express his mind, saw him entangled in his own mind without knowing it, Jing Ye was equally sad in despair, this was the result of his self-deception, and he had been sinking in the quagmire The person in the picture is him instead of Su Zitong, but this time it is really late.

Jing Ye lowered his eyes and hid his tears deeply. The life of more than 20 years turned out to be such a failure, and the final ending was so sad and ridiculous.He used such a clumsy method to make the final test, and performed a scene of love at first sight with a girl in front of him, but that person really let go this time, and really didn't want him anymore, because he smiled May his dreams come true.

Dreams come true, his dreams did come true, and they became friends instead of lovers.

This time away is actually not what Qingli thinks is to avoid disaster, nor is it what his parents think to study further, it is just to escape his failed 20 years of life, and to escape the relationship he buried with his own hands.