heart to wild

Hi, hello, dot!I am Zuo Fen.

I don't know if it scares you, but by the time you read this letter, I should be gone.

I'm sorry to let you experience death at such a young age, but please believe that my sister's departure is not painful.

First of all, let me answer the doubts you didn't ask: I am not Yu Chen's girlfriend.

I am his good friend. I have been his deskmate since junior high school, high school classmate, and college classmate. The time I knew him took up half of my life.

The father of the baby in my belly is our college classmate and Yu Chen's roommate.When we were in school, the three of us often went to the night market at the snack street in front of the school... Ah, I got off topic, sorry, but when it comes to memories, I can't help stretching.

In short, that unlucky father died earlier than me, a heart patient.

Our college was by the sea, and I stayed there, while my native fiancé, who was super aquatic, saved a drowning man while going for a swim.

The other party woke up, but he didn't.

I was already pregnant at the time, and my in-laws were kind people who advised me to abort the child and start over.

I had already stood at the door of the hospital, but I ran away timidly in the end.

I think that's the only connection I have with him.

I fled back to Yancheng and met your brother, he was still the same as before, hard-spoken and soft-hearted, scolding me while borrowing a lot of money from your family.

I'm really sorry, I may not pay you the surgery fee, all my balance was spent in the first week of hospitalization (I always feel a little embarrassed when I think about it, I have to peel apples for you when you come >3

I am an orphan, not outstanding in appearance, and born with congenital diseases. I grew up in an orphanage without being adopted.

That day your brother came to me with your account book, I was really scared, and I couldn't help laughing.

Hey, even though I'm the only one on my household registration book, do I look like I'm so greedy for other people's household registration books?

But...it would be a lie to say that he wasn't tempted at all, after all your brother is so handsome.

Yan Gou sighed.

But, thinking about the person who has already made an appointment with me to get married, I'd better not let your brother become a "widowed" in the marriage column at a young age.

I know, your brother wants to take care of me and the baby, so that when I have the operation, I can have a legal relative to help me sign the consent form.

But I couldn't be more selfish.

Yu Chen promised me that when the baby is born, he will be sent back to my boyfriend's house.

The young old couple are very nice, I believe they will take good care of Miaoyi, and I hope Miaoyi can also take good care of them.

Ah, sorry!But I really like the name your grandma gave your sister and couldn't resist borrowing it, would you mind?

If you mind, just change her name to Erya, I don't mind.

Thank you, Dian Dian, thank you very much.

It's a pity that I didn't let you really have a little niece, but if you want, when she grows up, you can tell her that you are the closest and dearest little uncle to her in this world just like Yu Chen .

The life of a congenital heart patient is not easy, but fortunately, the doctor said that Miaoyi is a healthy baby.

I love it when you visit me.I heard people say that a child will look like the first person to hold him after birth. I am not familiar with the doctors and nurses, so I secretly ignore them.

If you can, please hug my baby in front of Yu Chen.

I hope she can be as cute as you. (Yu Chen is too fierce!!)

Well, let's stop here for the time being, I should write to your brother.

I wish you a lot of laughter, a little bit.

Yu Chen is very lonely, please spend more time with him, thank you.

Zuo Fen

……

The letter paper with beautiful handwriting and dried flowers are sandwiched between the pages of the poetry collection. Petofi's satirical poems are weird and humorous, which reminds people of the girl's sad but cheerful smile.

Yu Dian lay prone outside the viewing window, staring intently at the baby in the incubator.

Congenital heart disease occurs in 0.4% to 1% of newborns, and 80% of premature babies will develop jaundice.

Fortunately and unfortunately, this little girl belongs to the ordinary 80%.

On the outside of the incubator was a name plate with a pink border, with the words "Miaoyi" written on it.

Yu Chen practiced running script when he was in middle school, and he is still not familiar with it until now.

Yu Dian stared at those two words in a daze, and suddenly heard footsteps behind him.

He turned his head and found that Yu Chen was standing beside him without saying a word, and he was also staring at the little baby on the other side of the viewing window in a daze.

Zuo Fen passed away three days ago.

Contrary to what she said, this great mother started her second heart surgery right after the baby was born. She lost her strength, as if she didn’t even need anesthesia, and finally left on the operating table , should be very painful.

Yes.

Except for euthanasia in sleep, how can death be painless?

Even when he died in a dream, after his long sleep, there were still family members who were dying of pain behind him.

Yu Dian dreamed about Zuo Fen that night and asked her this question.

It was the first time for a girl to come to see him with a flat belly and a light figure, as if to say goodbye.

It hurts, but bearable.

She smiled.

Because I saw my fiancé coming to pick me up.

Yu Dian is an unsteady materialist, and he would rather believe in strange things.

He didn't tell others about his dream, but he was a little curious, what would Zuo Fen say to Yu Chen when he went into Yu Chen's dream?

Don't frown.do not miss me too much.Don't make your baby your responsibility.do not be unhappy.

His older brother lost two of his best friends in less than a year.

Yu nodded and lowered his head, feeling like crying again.

"Little girl." Yu Chen said coldly.

Yu Dian looked up at him, tears welling in his eyes.

Yu Chen still didn't look back.

"If you want to cry, stay away from me."

Sister Fenfen, he is really fierce.

Yu Dian, who was asked by his sister to spend more time with him, curled his lips, and murmured stubbornly and timidly, "I don't want it."

Do not cry, or do not stay away from him.

Yu Chen turned his head to look at the child's drooping hair, but didn't speak.

He knew about Yu Dian's coming to the hospital very early on.

The first time he saw the boy coming out of Zuo Fen's ward, he thought it was absurd, and wanted to catch up with the person who was following him, but Zuo Fen went to the door and made a face at him.

"Your brother is much cuter than you."

Everyone has said that since they were young.Although no one said it outright, everyone thought so.

Yu Chen's eyes turned cold, but Zuo Fen chuckled and squeezed his stiff face.

"You think he's cute too, isn't it hard not to touch his head all the time? It's okay, I touched you a lot today."

Since she was a teenager, she loved to laugh and babble with this look.

Yu Chen thought she was stupid and boring at first, but then he started to pick up what she said, and then drew bingo grids in class together, and skipped class together.

It was the first time to lead someone in the back seat of the car. When he encountered an uphill, he couldn't pedal but he didn't want to admit it. Zuo Fen jumped out of the car, and he almost fell down and laughed at him to save face and suffer.

In high school, the teaching director stamped every pair of men and women who walked side by side as puppy love, and they were invited as parents, but one's mother was married and spent an endless honeymoon abroad, and the other had no mother.

How miserable.

The girl was miserable in front of the teacher, turned her head and smiled at her good friend until her face turned blue, making one almost think she was going to have a heart attack.

It was not a coincidence that they studied the same major in the same university, it was Yu Chen's wish that Zuo Fen pressed his head and asked her to fill in.

From the moment he picked up the girl's note many years ago and chose to unfold it instead of throwing it away, he decided to take good care of her in his life.

A lifetime, sounds like a long enough time, but I really didn't expect that not long after the start of school, she caught up with Yu Chen's roommate when she came to look for him.

"Achen, do you mind?"

The handsome boy scratched his head and looked at himself in bewilderment.

"If you mind, I won't talk to her in the future."

The water vapor along the coast made this person too soft and kind. It's not like Yu Chen didn't think about this kind of picture, but in his imagination, that person should be tougher, with more fierce tone and eyes than him.

—— "Stay away from Fen Fen from now on, I'll take care of her."

That's how it should be.

It's not like just now, girls are reduced to a choice that can be tied with brothers.

——Achen, do you have contact information for the person in your dormitory?I think his eyes are beautiful.

"Achen?" The boy looked at him in confusion.

Yu Chen came back to his senses and turned his head coldly.

"I don't mind. Don't say such things in the future."

At first, the three of them ate barbecue together, then Yu Chen started to go to the library and cafeteria by himself, and gradually withdrew from their two-person world.

The vows he made when he was young were too secondary, he had no extra ground to take care of Zuo Fen for the rest of his life.

When the girl chose to stay in the southern coastal city, he nodded and returned to the place where they grew up alone with their luggage.

I really hope that I will never see her again in my life, that will probably prove that she is doing well.

But it is undeniable that Yu Chen had indeed despicably imagined over and over again in his heart that maybe Zuo Fen would return to Yancheng to find him one day.

Abandoned, cheated, any reason is fine, and then for the rest of his life, Yu Chen can keep the promise he made quietly.

But he didn't expect that when Zuo Fen really smiled wryly and appeared in front of him with a sad face, his heart would be so painful.

Why did he want to marry Zuo Fen?

It seemed that she finally had a reason to ask her if she wanted to be with him forever.

The half-joking expression concealed the uneasy psychological activities, but when she really saw the surprise in her eyes that she didn't expect at all, she still felt a dull pain in her heart over and over again.

Yu Chen walked out of the ward, the household registration he stole in his hands was unknown, and he returned home without a name. He didn't go to the hospital for several days.

When they met again, Zuo Fen begged him, coaxed him, and tricked him into promising not to let the doctor terminate his pregnancy.

"I want you to be the first to hug her," she said.

fraud.Mingming still scolded him for being too fierce in the letter to Yu Dian.

The seaside is really a place where the water is retrograde, Yu Chen was silent for a long time, and finally lost in her tears.

What's so good about that person.Yu Chen thought.

If everything started from scratch, he would definitely not pretend not to see the girl throwing a note to him in the first class of junior high school.

He will treat her very well from the very beginning, so good that she will not be willing to be better with others.

In this way, in the end, she will not even ask herself to help return the child to others.

What if I don't pay it back?

Yu Chen thought hard.

I want to adopt her, let her surname be Yu, call me father, call you mother, her biological grandparents will never know that they have a little granddaughter who was born into the world in less than seven months.

You're using my grandma's name anyway, so it doesn't matter what makes your child my family.

but.

However, at the first moment when the little child who hadn't had time to be held by any of the Yu family's brothers turned over in the incubator, Yu Chen's heart suppressed by resentment suddenly calmed down unexpectedly.

The child, like her mother, does not belong to her.

But they also belong to no one else.

Zuo Fen came to this world with incompleteness, but she lived a freer life than everyone else.

Unrestrained laughter, love and hate, no matter when, the eyes are always bright.

It's no wonder that Yu Dian wants to get close to her, after all, no one can refuse something warm.

"Brother." Yu Dian called him in a low voice.

"Do you want to hug me?"

Yu Chen looked at him amusedly, but the child raised his head and looked at him with straight and clean eyes, as if he didn't feel that he was talking nonsense just now.

Open your arms at point.

"I'll pass on some of my cuteness to you. When Miaoyi moves out of the incubator, you should be the first to hug her."

Is his younger brother such a stupid kid talking to himself?

It's like the girl sitting next to me many years ago, propping her chin up and muttering "My deskmate is a log" in boredom.

Babies in their cradles are crying, fussing, recovering, and growing up.

The young man lowered his head and silently shed the last tear of his life on the child's shoulder.

Forget it, it's even more absurd to always use life as a measure.

At least he won't cry again this year.Yu Chen swore.