After the favorability rating was 99, I gave up the tour

At eight o'clock, in the corner of downtown Yokohama, there were two cats, one big and one small, one white and one red, squatting in the corner.

Atsushi Nakajima was still wearing his long black windbreaker, zipped up to the top, completely covering himself and the collar around his neck.This kind of dress is a bit strange in Yokohama in early autumn, but it is barely understandable.

The one who really dresses exaggeratedly is Xiao Jieyue beside him.

As a newborn demon who would get burned if he stayed in the sun for a long time, Xiao Jieyue is of course a little afraid of the sun, so even if he goes out, he usually chooses the night time-but this is before meeting Osamu Dazai.

After meeting Osamu Dazai, Xiao Jieyue was opened to a new door in terms of dressing by this beautiful big brother. After that, when going out during the day, she would choose to wrap her body with bandages: it is not only sunscreen, but also can keep up with the new times. trend!

In short, this is a set of "imitation Osamu Dazai outfit".

So it is easy to understand the indescribable expression on Atsushi Nakajima's face at the moment.

Atsushi Nakajima squatted in the corner with Xiao Jieyue, and said in a small voice, "Miss Jing, do you really want to go out in the street dressed like this?"

Xiao Jieyue looked at him strangely: "Aren't we all already on the street?"

Atsushi Nakajima sighed, his expression became more subtle: Yes, they are all on the street now.

but……

"I don't know why..." He murmured, "I always feel that Miss Jing will be beaten if you dress like this..."

For example, some guys who hate someone deeply but can't find the opportunity and excuse to beat someone up.

Like Central Plains cadres, Central Plains cadres, or Central Plains cadres...

ummm

Illusion, the Central Plains cadres will not beat children.

Atsushi Nakajima breathed a sigh of relief.

Xiao Jieyue did not look back at Atsushi Nakajima's troubled face, her round eyes kept staring at the street, as if she was looking for something.

And soon, she also found what she was looking for.

"Dun Jun!"

Xiao Jieyue, who was originally squatting in the shadows one after the other, suddenly turned her head, pressed Atsushi Nakajima's shoulder, and looked at him seriously: "Do you remember what we went out for today?"

"Training." Atsushi Nakajima whispered.

Xiao Jieyue asked: "Then Dunjun, do you know what we are going to train today?"

Atsushi Nakajima shook his head in confusion.

Xiao Jieyue showed a bright smile, and said mysteriously: "It's the heart of the strong!"

"……what?"

"If you want to be strong, it is not enough to be 'strong' in strength, you also need to be strong in spirit! Strong in spirit means that you will not be depressed by adversity, will not give in to hardships, will not Give up due to failure. Only in this way can one be considered a real strong man, not a beast that has no power but is only frantically dominated by the emotions in his heart and releases power wantonly!"

Atsushi Nakajima grasped his collar subconsciously, avoiding Xiao Jieyue's gaze in a silent manner.

"Well..." he said, "then I might...I might not..."

Atsushi Nakajima wanted to say something frustrating.

So Xiao Jieyue interrupted him without hesitation: "But in fact, before becoming a strong man and getting the heart of a strong man, there is a more important step, and that is restraint."

"And this point, Dunjun, you took the initiative to wear this collar in order not to hurt others, and you have already achieved it." Xiao Jieyue once again reached out and touched the big cat's head, smiling. , "It's amazing! Dunjun, you are really a very good person."

Xiao Jieyue praised him so sincerely, and because of her "characteristic" of never lying, she seemed more sincere and moving.

——In order not to hurt others, take the initiative to injure yourself; in order to prevent your own supernatural powers from invading the lives of innocent people, take the initiative to infringe on your own life.

To describe such a thing, there is probably only one sentence "really amazing".

But in the face of such praise and affirmation, Atsushi Nakajima slowly lowered his head.

He knelt on the ground, put his hands on his knees, clenched his teeth, and his eyes were red again.

"...I'm sorry...Miss Jing...I'm sorry..."

He didn't know why he was apologizing.Maybe it's because of my feelings that don't meet Dazai-san's expectations, maybe it's because of those weaknesses that I hate and despise...

"Miss Jing...I'm not such a nice person...because I'm really...so scared..."

Want to be praised, want to be recognized and affirmed by others.He has been looking forward to this.But when they do come, he is terrified because he is not worthy.

"I'm really...a very useless person..." He choked up, his heart filled with frenzied fear and guilt, "I'm so scared...afraid of death, afraid of pain...Mr. Dazai Expected so much from me, brought me out of that hell, taught me so much...but I'm still...still...so scared..."

Xiao Jieyue looked at him silently, like a god looking at a sinner in pain and repentance, it seemed tender and compassionate, but at the same time seemed ruthless and indifferent.

"Mr. Dazai told me that if I become the god of death that brings people death, and become one with death itself, then death will not be able to find me, and I will no longer be afraid...but...I...as expected I still... can't..."

So painful.

Disappointment at himself, fear and rejection of his own ability, fear and disgust at his own pain, guilt and self-disgust for bringing death to others... All emotions are intertwined in his heart and pressed against his stomach Department, getting heavier day by day, more fearful day by day.

He stands on the edge of the cliff, crumbling, with the light he longs for on one side and the abyss he fears on the other.

He has to choose.

"so afraid……"

But he doesn't want to choose, because he knows that he can't make, let alone make the choice he really wants.

"so afraid……"

He wanted to escape, closed his eyes, plugged his ears, pretended that he didn't know such a thing, and never faced such a choice.

"so afraid……"

But he also knows that his time is running out-the leader of Hong Kong and black, the person he respects the most, and the benefactor who brought him out of the hell like the orphanage, Mr. Dazai, there is not much time left for him.

To stay or to leave.He has to choose.

Xiao Jieyue quietly looked at the man in front of him who was struggling in despair, his steel-gray eyes saw through his pain as well as his psychology.

But Xiao Jieyue didn't understand his struggle, because she didn't feel that Mr. Osamu Dazai left a choice for the big cat in front of her.

Xiao Jieyue clearly understood this matter, but it was not because she was smart enough.She is not a brainy person who is good at calculating and can play with human "nature" in applause. She can understand all this, but she is too sensitive to people's hearts and understands Dazai Osamu too well.

So as long as she thinks a little bit, she can know that it is impossible for Dazai Osamu, that beautiful but superb control freak, to hand over the right of choice to Atsu-kun.

Dunjun thought he had to make a choice as soon as possible, but he was wrong.What he really needs to understand as soon as possible is the fact that "he was chosen by the abyss, and there is no way out".

This is a cruel fact, something Osamu Dazai left for Atsushi Nakajima to discover by himself, and it is also the truth that Xiao Jieyue can't bear to expose.

But leaving it alone is not enough, so Xiao Jieyue thought for a while and said, "Dun Jun, do you know that violence can bring people fear and blood?"

Atsushi Nakajima lowered his face and shook his head.

Summary: "It's protection and gratitude."

Nakajima paused and looked up at her.

Xiao Jieyue smiled and said: "Violence does not mean evil, it is just a means to achieve an end. Atsu-kun is a very kind person, that's why he can't bear to hurt others, and he can't accept certain things..." Osamu Dazai He did not introduce his identity to Xiao Jieyue, nor did he introduce Hong Kong black to her.But those neat black suits, the guns around the waist, and the uniform "Master Chief" made Xiao Jieyue instantly understand that this beautiful brother is a gangster.As for those who live in the dark, their methods must be bloody and cruel, and the tasks they perform must be something that Atsushi Nakajima cannot accept, "But, if you think about it, everything you do is to 'protect' Wouldn't you be happier with this goal?"

Atsushi Nakajima finally opened his mouth and asked blankly, "Guardian?"

"Yes, guarding." Xiao Jieyue said, "The so-called 'guarding' is not just a narrow matter of 'protecting a certain person's safety', it can also be 'protecting a certain belief', 'protecting a certain organization' , or even 'guarding a certain region', 'guarding a certain country', etc. Dunjun, you refuse your ability, you refuse to go into darkness, because these will cause violence, causing injury, pain and death. But Dunjun, you Think about it, when you successfully used your power to successfully guard your organization and the belief that brought together the people of this organization, didn't you really feel happy about it? Those who are protected by you are Didn't I really feel grateful to you for that?"

Atsushi Nakajima looked dazed.

He thought back to the past six months of joining Hong Kong Black, and thought back on those urgent and bloody tasks. Apart from the pain and blood that disgusted him, did he really feel the joy of protecting his companions, and whether he was really sincere because of this? Thanks for the praise.

Have it?

Probably... yes.

"But..." Atsushi Nakajima was weak but persistent, "but I don't want...to hurt others..."

He doesn't want to hurt others because he doesn't want others to hurt himself; it's also because he doesn't want others to hurt himself, so he is even more unwilling to hurt others.

"But it's impossible, Dunjun." Xiao Jieyue's voice was calm and penetrating.At this moment, she is no longer an ignorant and carefree six-year-old child, but the 15-year-old Keiyue Higurashi who told Osamu Dazai "I am a self-satisfied person" after losing everything.

"It is impossible to have a world where everyone in the world is happy. To make some people happy, it will inevitably cause some people pain. If you want some people to live, it must be accompanied by some people. The sacrifice of some people is the law of equivalent exchange that will never be changed in the world. Therefore, it is fundamentally non-existent to want no one to be hurt and at the same time to want everyone to be happy. Be it happiness, faith, life, or principles, they are all things that must be protected with all our strength.”

"Dun Jun, if you still can't understand this...you will die."

Die under your own kindness and innocence.

Atsushi Nakajima said sadly: "So, in the end, can I still only hurt others?"

Xiao Jieyue smiled again: "Dun Jun, I didn't say this to encourage you to hurt others, but to tell you that no matter what it is, there are two sides to it. If you feel that you are hurting others, the same is true. It is to protect other people, you think you are destroying some things, but you are also protecting other things. Dunjun, don’t look at those destroyed things, it’s enough to strengthen your belief in ‘protecting’.”

"But...but...what can I protect..."

Xiao Jieyue smiled brightly: "So, this is Dun Jun's training topic today - use violence to protect others, and get their sincere gratitude!"

Atsushi Nakajima showed a terrified look: "Eh?! Wait..."

Xiao Jieyue lifted the pocket watch around her neck with a smile, opened it, and showed the time to Big Mao Mao: "The goal is the sincere thanks of 30 people, and the time limit is ten hours!"

"No! Miss Jing, how can such a thing be done!!"

"Then it depends on Dun-kun's performance~ Well, from now on, count the time——let's start!"