I thought I was a vampire, my boyfriend said no

45.

Mao Xiaoluo did not visit his mother in prison last month.

Every time they met, it was awkward and boring. Apart from buying some fruits and food from the store under the detention center, he didn't know what other meanings there were for such an act. It might be to tell each other that they were both alive, and only alive.

I have never met Mao Xiaoluo's mother before, and only sporadically picked up some not-so-pleasant memories from him when we met again, and the appearance of these personalities in Mao Xiaoluo also proved the mother's true nature to some extent. dereliction of duty.

When Mao Xiaoluo proposed to visit the prison, Shi Shi was still a little surprised. He thought that Mao Xiaoluo probably didn't want to face his biological mother in his current state. What's more, the reason why his mother was imprisoned was like a piece growing in a shoe. Small stones, one step at a time, one step at a time, but one cannot get them out.

"I used to go to see her every month. I didn't go last month, so I have to go this month." Mao Xiaoluo's expression was very calm, and he didn't say why he had to go this month if he didn't go last month.

Time did not ask, just said: "Do you need to bring something? Is the prison allowed to send something?"

"The delivery of things has to be inspected. I usually buy some fruit biscuits from the store in the detention center for her. In case I don't have enough to eat inside, I can make a cushion." The times coincided, when his mother left him cookies, and now he sent cookies for his mother, and these two memories and reality are not very warm, and it makes people feel embarrassed when they think about it.

"Do you want to send clothes inside? It's cold, do you need to send your mother some warm clothes?"

Mao Xiaoluo shook her head: "I already gave her winter clothes in November, they are all thermal underwear, two sets of thin ones and two thick ones, she can wear them interchangeably, and she doesn't need to wear them outside."

Shi Shi stared at his face for a while, and couldn't tell what kind of mood Mao Xiaoluo said this sentence, but it was not a happy mood after all.

He had asked for leave from the school the day before, and the leader of the Academic Affairs Office was not very happy, saying that he asked for leave every three days, and the number of days off every month was almost more than the number of working days.Mao Xiaoluo has not been good at this kind of thing for a long time. The way he is not good at dealing with it is not to deal with it, let others complain, without saying a word or explaining, and leave after asking for leave.

At night, he and Time were lying on the bed together. Time obviously felt that his mood was different from before, but he didn't ask, and hugged him sideways. The two of them were inlaid together like two spoons, one big and one small. Pat him on the shoulder lightly, like a mother's touch to lull a baby to sleep.

"Does your mother mind if you stay with me?"

"I don't know, probably not." Mao Xiaoluo turned back, faced him face to face, and buried her face in Time's arms.

"Then when tomorrow passes, shall I go in with you? Or wait for you outside?"

"Come with me." Mao Xiaoluo's voice was muffled, and after a while he asked again, "Do you mind if I introduce you to her tomorrow?"

"Is it... the kind that introduces you to meet parents?" Shi Shi raised his hand and pinched his ears, and said with a gentle voice, "Are you going to take me to meet parents?"

Mao Xiaoluo raised his head from his chest, the two looked at each other, and both smiled, Mao Xiaoluo buried his head back again: "Actually... it doesn't matter if you see it or not."

"How can there be no difference? See, we've crossed the road." Shi Shi let go of his ears, combed his hair with his fingers, massaged lightly, and comforted him little by little.

Mao Xiaoluo's eyelids gradually sank, clutching the hem of Time's pajamas with both hands, breathing lightly, and fell asleep.

The environment around the detention center is more desolate than other areas in the city. There are roads that can't be seen at a glance, and the frozen land is on both sides. There is nothing in the soil. In the winter of City C, nothing can grow.

The sound of the rumbling engine stopped outside the detention center, time stopped the motorcycle to the designated location, and followed Mao Xiaoluo into it.Mao Xiaoluo was obviously familiar with the procedures here. After filling out the application form, he showed their ID cards. After a while, they were ushered inside.

Through the window, Shi Shi saw a haggard woman with gray hair, she was not like Mao Xiaoluo's mother, but rather his grandma or mother-in-law.Her wrinkled eyes brightened up when she saw Mao Xiaoluo, but when she actually sat down, she didn't have the look of anticipation just now.

Shi Shi looked back at Mao Xiaoluo, saw him holding his breath and swallowing a mouthful of saliva, his mouth tightly pursed, and after a long time, he finally called out: "Mom."

Mao Xiaojuan agreed, and stared at Mao Xiaoluo's face carefully for a while. When Mao Xiaoluo looked up, she lowered her eyes again and asked, "Last month...was you very busy with work?" After all, she was still looking forward to him here.

Mao Xiaoluo was stunned. Through the bars, he saw Mao Xiaojuan's haggard, tired, old, numb face, as well as the regret and helplessness after asking this sentence.Seeing that he didn't answer, Mao Xiaojuan hurriedly said, "If you're busy, you don't have to come here all the time. I just... haven't seen you, and I'm afraid you..." At this point she paused again and stopped talking.

Mao Xiaoluo's eyes widened in surprise for a moment, his lips trembled, opened and closed, and he didn't say anything for a while, he didn't expect, he didn't expect that he was also expected.

Shi Shi reached out to hold his hand, squeezed it lightly, and said to the window: "Last month, Xiao Luo's school happened to organize midterm exams for students, and the pressure was so great that I couldn't leave."

Mao Xiaojuan heard his voice and looked over, oh, she didn't know the time, and she didn't know what their relationship was. After a long separation and the hardships of prison life, she had lost the ability to communicate with her son. I seldom communicate with each other, but now, it is always more unfamiliar, and I have less courage and qualifications.

Mao Xiaoluo pursed her lips, took a deep breath, and after a while, said, "Mom, this is my boyfriend, and his name is time."

Mao Xiaojuan's tone was upward, and she gave a soft, somewhat surprised, and helpless ah, and after a long time, she said ah again, without making any comments, neither saying yes nor bad.

Mao Xiaoluo's eyes were a little red, his voice was choked and hoarse, and he said in a low voice: "He is very kind to me, he cooks for me three times a day..." For some reason, he changed his usual silence and asked Mao Xiaojuan said in a hurry, "He has no other relatives in his family. Now he lives with me and picks me up to and from work every day..."

After listening to him for a while, Mao Xiaojuan asked timidly in a low voice, "Then... what do you do?"

Mao Xiaoluo was at a loss for words, looked at the time, wondering if he should tell the truth.Shi Shi patted his hand in relief, and answered for him: "Auntie, I'm in real estate and farming, but it's a small factory, usually someone manages it, and I visit it every now and then. The income is not bad, enough for life and retirement. I'm not busy at work, so I have time to spend with Xiao Luo."

Mao Xiaojuan let out an ah, as if relieved, and slowly said: "That's good." After a while, he hesitated, opened his mouth and closed it again.

Time saw it and asked, "Auntie, what do you want to say?"

"...I..." Mao Xiaojuan took a look at Mao Xiaoluo, and then she mustered up her courage, and said, "Live a good life, talk about everything, don't quarrel, and don't... fight." She probably saw that The son's physique was far inferior to this tall man, worried that he would repeat his own mistakes, and cautiously told him, "Be sure to speak well."

Mao Xiaoluo couldn't hold back anymore, and as soon as he lowered his head, tears flowed down his broken face.

46.

There are tens of thousands of families in the world, not every one is rich and harmonious. Who can blame a mother who works three jobs a day?How can she take better care of her children?But who is to blame for this?Blame them for living at the bottom?Blame them for their lack of knowledge and ability to save themselves?Or blame the world for being too cold?

Mao Xiaoluo's tears stopped when he got home, he was very cold by the wind, time took his hands and rubbed them, but the effect was minimal, his own hands were also cold.

"are you hungry?"

Mao Xiaoluo shook his head, thought for a while, then nodded, and said, "Let's do it after a while." His voice was a little hoarse, because he had just cried, and it was wet with tears.

"She's thinking about you."

Mao Xiaoluo hummed, and said after a while: "I used to think that I was a burden in her life. She couldn't find a marriage partner with a drag oil bottle. Later, she found it with great difficulty. Once married, she dared not leave... ..."

"It's not because of you." Time raised his hand to wipe away the tear stains on his eyelashes, his fingers were dry, and there was a kind of cold tenderness on his face, "Every one of us has come to this world to walk for ourselves, Not for others, no one can be responsible for others, and no one has to bear the fate of others. You live for yourself, she lives for herself, and we are responsible for our own choices. There are too many miserable people in this world. Of all the tragedies, children are the most innocent, do you understand?"

Mao Xiaoluo raised his head and looked at him, just like he did every time he encountered confusion before, looking at him, he could see the direction.

Shi Shi held his face and said in a low voice: "At that time, you should not and need not be responsible for anyone's misfortune..."

The corners of the notebook have been glued on by Xu Kai. He wrapped the four corners with transparent glue, and there is almost no difference or trace.

Mao Xiaoluo sat at the table, thought for a while and wrote: "I went to see my mother today. She is much older than the last time we met. Have you seen her before?"

Xu Kai: "The first time I saw her was when you were eight years old, but I didn't spend much time with her. She spent more time with Tian Tian."

Tian Tian: "My mother is as quiet as Xiao Luo. She seems to have endless work and problems to deal with every day. Sometimes she will yell at me. Although I am scared, it is okay. After all, she is not like Dad..." His handwriting is obviously much more regular, although it still reveals traces of immaturity, but he doesn't look like a child anymore, and his writing is much more organized.

Mao Xiaoluo’s impression of his stepfather is only his violence against his mother, and most of those memories are vague, like other people’s stories covered in a mist. He is just a bystander of life, and those lights and shadows pass through his mind like a lantern, and the last frame Can't even touch it.

"Dad..." He paused after writing these two words, "Do you have any impression of Dad?"

"Father..." Tian Tian's hand holding the pen also paused, and continued to write after a while, "I often violated me when my mother was away." He used a relatively mature word - "aggression".

When Mao Xiaoluo saw that line of writing, he was stunned for a moment, then read the line of writing again, and asked incredulously, "Infringement?"

Tiantian: "Yes, he raped me."

Arnold: "Sometimes when I come out, I will bite him."

Mao Xiaoluo dropped his pen on the table, and he leaned on the back of the chair, unable to regain his senses for a long time.

Arnold: "So I say, you are a coward."

Mao Xiaoluo: "Yes, I'm a coward." He finished writing with a trembling pen tip, writing a line crookedly.

A Nuo looked at his handwriting, and wrote after a long time: "Can you...can you be stronger? Why don't you show the courage to compete with me for time when you face these villains? You don't even care about the past. Dare to face it?"

Mao Xiaoluo: "Arnold, when did you first have a memory?"

A Nuo thought for a while: "I don't remember clearly, I just remember seeing a sentence in your diary at that time-"Rats lived humble and dirty, stealing some nourishment for survival when no one was looking, and hurriedly Hide back to the lair, dare not envy an upright life'."

It was a passage written by Mao Xiaoluo when he graduated from elementary school. In a tense family atmosphere, he lived carefully like a mouse.

The sound of time came from the kitchen, and Arnold took the opportunity to write: "Can you lend me a moment? Just a moment, just a moment."

47.

A Nuo tiptoed and ran all the way to the kitchen, hugged Time from behind gently, rubbed his face against his shoulder, and let out a long-lost sigh.

Time only when he was Mao Xiaoluo, put down the frying spoon, lightly squeezed the hand around his waist, and asked, "Are you done chatting with them?"

Anuo was afraid of revealing his secrets, so he gave a low hum, rubbed, kissed, and greedily sniffed his body.

Time was rubbed off by him so that he laughed, and wanted to turn around, but was held tightly by him and could not move. "Why do you look like a puppy?"

A Nuo didn't speak, just rubbed, rubbed for a while, then closed his eyes contentedly, and retreated.

Mao Xiaoluo was still holding Time, his eyes were a little red, he didn't know whether he was pitying A Nuo or himself, kissed the back of Time's neck that was exposed outside the sweater, and said, "Tell me, if I merge with A Nuo, it will be a while." What is it like?"

Time served him a bowl of porridge, thinking about how to answer this fatal question. "Have you talked to him?"

"En." Mao Xiaoluo didn't pursue his answer, took time's dinner from the refrigerator, and followed him to the restaurant to sit down.

Time sat across from him, inserted the straw into the blood bag, drank blood, and ate with Mao Xiaoluo. After a while, he said, "Why do I feel that you are different?"

"What's different?"

"It feels...it seems to be more open-minded than before."

Mao Xiaoluo smiled: "I haven't seen you for a few minutes, and you can see that you are open-minded?" He raised his head to meet the gaze of time, "Just now I told me about my stepfather every day. .”

Time had already guessed this matter, the expression on his face was not surprised, he just nodded in understanding.

Mao Xiaoluo said: "You are right, I should thank them for showing up when I was most lonely and helpless."

Time did not speak, and a gentle and generous smile appeared on his face.

"If we merge into a new person, will you dislike me then?"

Time was choked by the blood in his throat, and he let out a series of coughing sounds.

Mao Xiaoluo was startled at first, caressing his back and pouring water for him worriedly, but seeing that he was fine, he just looked at him with his hands folded, and said with a smile, "Is this a self-rescue measure?"

"You always ask me some propositions, of course I have to save myself." Time wiped his mouth and answered him with a smile.

"Why is it a proposition? You answer me sincerely, and I won't do anything to you."

Shi Shi just lowered his eyebrows and drank his own dinner without talking.

Mao Xiaoluo stretched his hand across the table to hook his fingers, leaning his upper body slightly against the table, looked at him with a smile, with stars in his eyes, and asked in a low voice: "Why didn't you stay with me when you were in junior high school? Nuo likes you so much, if you confess, he will definitely agree."

Time still didn't answer, Mao Xiaoluo squeezed his hand and said: "Leniency is allowed for confession! Strictness is for resistance!"

"Tell me first how you plan to 'resist and be strict' with me?" Shi Shi held his hand instead, wanting to laugh, but didn't dare to open his mouth to smile, for fear of showing blood stains on his mouth.

"Punish you... say a hundred words 'time is the most handsome' to Brother Kai."

Time still laughed, opened his mouth, and let out a very hearty laugh: "This is a punishment for Kai, not me."

Mao Xiaoluo also laughed, frowned and looked very satisfied, and said, "If only you were with me when you were in junior high school."

Shi Shi looked at his smiling face and was silent for a while, then asked, "Why?"

"You lived alone for such a long time, how lonely. Although my grandma has a big temper, she is a talking companion after all. How have you lived all these years by yourself?"

The smile between Shi Shi's brows and eyes was faint, and the roles between the two suddenly changed. Mao Xiaoluo, who had always relied on him, patted his shoulder and lent it to him, waiting for him to lean forward, as if saying to him, lean on me, Even if it's just for a short break.

"A person... waited for the dark, and when it got dark, he waited for the dawn again, and lived a chaotic day." Time finally leaned forward, pursed his lips, and let him touch his soft belly. "Lying in bed thinking about it, thinking about my father, thinking about the days before, thinking about the days to come, for a while I doubted the meaning of living, once I thought of following his footsteps, but I hesitated a few times and didn't do it. "

He met Mao Xiaoluo's eyes: "Actually, before my father's accident, I confessed to you. It should be Arnold who was there at the time, and he agreed..."

Mao Xiaoluo just shook his hand, nodded, and listened calmly and tolerantly.

"I was still young at that time. Although I didn't agree with the identity of a vampire, I still had the loneliness of a young man in my bones. I felt that people and vampires were just a difference in identity, so I wanted to pursue you wholeheartedly." Time gently squeezed him finger, and continued in a very soft tone, "But after my father left, my thoughts changed completely. I hid in the house every day, thinking, how can I drag another person to make him as invisible as I am for the rest of his life?" Light?"