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The interval between drug addiction attacks is getting longer and longer, and Zhang Zhang's mental state can almost be said to have a qualitative leap.

In fact, Zhang Zhang is definitely the kind who is so thick-skinned that missiles can't shoot through it, or in other words, it's not that he is thick-skinned, but that his bottom line is so low that it cannot be lowered.

Especially for the pursuit of Lei Gang, it is said that during the detoxification period, the libido will decrease in general tablets, but he seems to be on a stimulant, wishing to directly press people on the bed and do it.

If it were someone else, Zhang Zhang would have been half-hearted after all this tossing. After all, this guy is not only good at pestering people, but also has the best ability to be sick and coquettish.

Unfortunately, that person is Lei Gang.

Lei Gang's facial expression is relatively restrained. Even when he smiles, he rarely shows his teeth. When he is sad, he just closes his eyes and endures in secret. Even if he is angry, it is just a roar, and then he clenches his teeth, just like the moment when his comrades sacrificed , For him, it is already a rare loss of emotional control.

However, being introverted doesn't mean he's stupid, otherwise he wouldn't be the captain of the 'Peregrine Falcon' special assault team, so Zhang Zhang relapsed, he could see clearly, and he could tell what was real and what was fake.

It's just that sometimes when I see Zhang Zhang lying limply on the bed, looking at me with water-stained eyes, even if I know that the person is starting to toss again, but I can't control my feet, and I will always go to my side to see with him.

Looking at the corner of Zhang Zhang's mouth with a slight smile, he looked at himself contentedly, then his eyelashes trembled slightly, his eyes stayed on his arm, his eyes flickered and hesitantly wanted to touch, Lei Gang felt as if he couldn't care less As if holding his own body, the back of his hand was lightly pressed against Zhang Zhang's forehead, as if taking a temperature measurement, but in fact he just wanted to give the other party peace of mind.

This kind of comfort is very common, and the back of Lei Gang's hand hardly stays on his forehead for too long.

However, Zhang Zhang can always find hidden emotions from inside.

Of course, Zhang Zhang must admit that his subjective consciousness is too strong, and these actions of Lei Gang are the answers he has longed for, so he derived them.

But once compared with the previous Lei Gang?

Lei Gang is indeed different, or rather, very different, after all, Zhang Zhang rarely sees Lei Gang looking at him with such soft eyes.

Drug addiction has not occurred for more than a day. Zhang Zhang feels that his body feels good, but he is a little nervous mentally. The feeling of drug addiction is very uncomfortable. Even if he has experienced it countless times, he will not get used to it.

The desk lamp was turned on in the cabin, and Lei Gang was reading a book on the other side of the bed. The dim light fell on the angular side face, like a bright and dark silhouette, which made his fingers itchy and wanted to touch it.

Lei Gang turned his head to look over, Zhang Zhang smiled, turned his head and looked towards the door.

After Xiang Shuo was able to rely on his willpower to get through the drug addiction attack, he seldom appeared. He only came to sit here when Lei Gang needed to leave to deal with business.

To be honest, Zhang Zhang really thinks that Xiang Shuo is a talent. He knows how to use electricity. After so many days, he basically left the space for himself and Lei Gang.

On the contrary, it was me who was timid and did not dare to do anything, which kept the relationship between the two people in an ambiguous stage.

How to deal with Lei Gang?

It's what Zhang Zhang, a 'sperm' who can't beat drug addiction, has been thinking about these days.

Isn't it just a layer of window paper?

Wouldn't it be over if it was pierced?Why play this childish game with Lei Gang who is not satisfied with his lover.

Zhang Zhang bit his lip and looked at the laptop screen. The Plants vs. Zombies on the screen had been cleared countless times, but Sunflower was still writhing and smiling, and Peashooter was still spitting out peas with his eyebrows raised. Zombies were still those, and died countless times. , but still getting more frustrated and braver, he rushed into the room.

Zhang Zhang actually liked the zombies in this game quite a bit. He killed a bunch just to eat one person's head. His fearless spirit is really respectable.

Pointing at Sun's lazy harvest, his thoughts wandered to Lei Gang's side again. The magazine should have been turned to the end, should he go to bed soon?

How many hours should someone be hugged after falling asleep?

Hey... hug or not?

It was myself who hugged and felt uncomfortable.

Zhang Zhang bit his lips, thinking hard about these inconsequential things in his mind.

Lei just finished reading the last page, then folded the magazine and put it on the bedside table.

Zhang Zhang turned his head to look at him, and at this moment, the familiar feeling reappeared, and his head was struck by lightning, and he had a flash of inspiration, and he had an idea.

Zhang Zhang gritted his teeth, shut the computer quickly with a 'snap', his fingers began to tremble as he pressed the silver-white notebook case.

Lei Gang hurried over and asked him silently, did it start again?

Zhang Zhang nodded, and Lei Gang in his field of vision was already shaking.

Lei Gang took the notebook aside, and as soon as he turned around, he was thrown onto the bed by Zhang Zhang. After the world was turned upside down, he saw the watery eyes staring at him.

Or... is this staring?

There was pain in the shoulder, and Zhang Zhang's fingers seemed to be pinched into the flesh vigorously. As soon as Lei Gang stretched out his arms, he immediately put his arms around Zhang Zhang's waist, holding him in his arms.

It can't be said that it's distressed, or there are other intentions, it's just getting used to it.

These days, when Zhang Zhang is addicted to drugs, he will hug someone from behind to calm his emotions. Although it is the first time to hug someone from the front, he is proficient and natural until the two people's bodies are close together. This kind of hug is not right.

It’s just that these thoughts hadn’t really formed yet, and they were crushed by Zhang Zhang’s trembling body, and his wrists moved habitually, stroking Zhang Zhang’s back, the movements were very light, he still remembered that Zhang Zhang once said that drug addiction It is best not to talk to him when you are talking, so as not to distract him.

It's just... Lei Gang looked at the ceiling, his head was so shocked that he couldn't condense his thoughts at all. He only felt that his neck was very wet. It was Zhang Zhang's tears. It was the first time he discovered that tears can be so cold, not moved And what came out lacked emotion, and it was just an ordinary liquid.

The shoulder still hurts, and the fingers seem to be pinched into the flesh.

Lei Gang frowned slightly, clenched his teeth, and looked down at Zhang Zhang. A few strands of hair trembled violently with the master's trembling in his vision, as if struggling to fly.

For some reason, I suddenly didn’t want to make a sound and move Zhang Zhang’s hand away, and didn’t want to disturb Zhang Zhang’s patience, so I just silently endured the pain on my shoulder, as if touching the feeling of this person in my arms at the moment. Maybe it’s not enough, but at least To be able to feel a little bit, even if only a little bit.

really painful...

As the pain builds up in the shoulder, it feels like the days are running out, with no end in sight.

Suddenly, Lei Gang remembered a scene.

The man who was tied to the bed was exhausted after more than an hour of struggling, and looked at himself deeply, tears streaming down his face, his eyes seemed to be desperate, and his fragility seemed to be broken at the touch of a finger.

"When will it end?" He murmured, with a hateful tone, and the wound on the corner of his mouth was eye-catching.

"Am I hopeless?"

"It's been so long... It's been so long... It hasn't gone yet..."

The pain in the shoulder went to the heart.

Sudden pain.

It turns out...that's how it feels.

Can not see the general hopelessness of the other side.

But it's all over...

Those memories are all gone...

When the trembling gradually stopped and the fingers on his shoulders were slowly loosened, Lei Gang also let out a sigh of relief following Zhang Zhang, as if he had experienced a drug addiction withdrawal process.

Suddenly relaxed, only to feel soreness in the muscles all over the body.

It was too tight before.

One is to resist the pain, and the other seems to be infected by Zhang Zhang and can't help exhausting all the strength of the whole body.

Lei Gang relaxed for a while, and patted Zhang Zhang's back lightly, indicating that he should lie down and have a good rest.

The person on him was motionless.

Lei Gang stared at the ceiling in a daze for a while, then patted again.

"Hmm..." Zhang Zhang responded, but still didn't move.

Therefore, Lei Gang could only wait for a while.

Zhang Zhang began to move his body, but instead of getting up, he rubbed his body up and pressed his lips against his ear.

Lei Gang blinked and frowned slightly. He heard Zhang Zhang's breathing, which was very long, but loud as if on purpose.

Not sure, Lei Gang feels that the current atmosphere is very ambiguous...

"Let me hug you for a while..." Zhang Zhang murmured in his ear, "Is that okay?"

Lei Gang didn't speak, he couldn't refuse this kind of atmosphere.

After a while, just when Lei Gang thought Zhang Zhang had fallen asleep, Zhang Zhang suddenly spoke.

"Lei Gang..."

"Ok?"

"I've been thinking about how I met you in the first place."

"Ah."

"You gave me the feeling that you were very calm. At that time, you had an injury on your leg, and you left alone with Ali for a long time. I kept thinking, would you be in danger, would you be afraid, would you not know? How to deal with it."

"We've done a lot of preparation."

"But I'm also afraid. You are different from me. You know, I have laid a lot of threads and can explain many accidents."

Lei Gang's eyes flickered, and he remembered the wiring he said, and after he came back, he somehow became this man's man.

"Actually, I'm very sorry. I didn't expect to drag you into this vortex, and I have experienced so many things that made you miserable."

"It's all accidents." In fact, Lei Gang thought that apart from the accidental death of his comrades-in-arms, Zhang Zhang did not bring him more pain. Those who disagreed were just ignorance and different values. I understand that Zhang Zhang may like to be funny, but he has his own sense of propriety, and some have no choice but to do it himself.

Zhang Zhang sighed long and deliberately sprayed his breath on Lei Gang's ear.

Lei Gang can bear this kind of attitude, this kind of intimacy like rubbing hands together, so it should be possible to go further, right?

If you don't continue, your body's reaction will be exposed.

Zhang Zhang narrowed his eyes a little, and opened his lips.

"I'm sorry... I didn't expect this to happen."

When he spoke, his lips brushed against Lei Gang's ear on purpose, but his tone was heavy and sad.

Lei Gang moved his head a little and sighed.

In fact, he already understood Zhang Zhang's meaning, but he didn't know why he couldn't completely push this person away without pretending like before.

Perhaps, Zhang Zhang is a very bad person in some respects, but after getting along, watching Zhang Zhang spend this time in pain and suffering, fragility and tenacity appearing in the same person, contradictory, but reasonable.

It seems that through these, one can see the essence of this person.

He thought of the night when the war raged, he lost two comrades-in-arms, but he saw clearly the sense of mission revealed by this man in adversity, which was different from the ruffian in his memory, as if emitting golden radiance, tenacious determination begged himself to blow up the equipment.

Maybe, if I don't agree, this man will drag his body to pass?

Perhaps, because of complete trust, I entrusted myself with the heavy responsibility, as if entrusted.

Those tear-stained eyes were as dazzling as obsidian in the flames that filled the sky.

……

"I've been thinking about how I spent these days, but I can't figure it out. Pain is not the most unbearable thing for us, because we can always separate the mind from the body. Try to ignore it."

"But... that kind of thing is different. It is more terrifying and stubborn. Instead of taking advantage of the situation, it relies on violence to crush the body and force you to face it squarely."

"When I was in unbearable pain..." Zhang Zhang turned his head to look at Lei Gang's side face, the scars on his cheeks were hideous and clear, "You are there, I can feel it all the time, making me unwilling to give up... I haven't got you yet."

Lifting his arms, caressing the scars and uneven skin, Zhang Zhang leaned forward and kissed reverently on it.

Lei Gang's eyelashes fluttered slightly, and he slightly turned his head away.

It's nothing.

He wants to say.

At that time, I didn't think about anything, just because of the task.

It's just that the voice got stuck in his throat, and he somehow didn't want to spoil the atmosphere at this time.

"But..." Zhang Zhang smiled shyly, "I feel very relieved to see you by my side every time I wake up."

"It's hard to describe the feeling. I let out a sigh of relief and completely let go of the burden on my shoulders."

"Perhaps...these words are a bit sensational, but at that time I really thought, it's really good to know you and fall in love with you."

Lei Gang licked his lips, feeling a little uncomfortable. This should be a confession, right?

Serious confession, not teasing.

The heart was beating a little fast, and the presence of the man on the body seemed to be more prominent, and he could clearly feel the heartbeat and the temperature of the other's skin.

"Maybe in the next second...a missile is thrown...we will close our eyes forever...life is very fragile..." Zhang Zhang stared at Lei Gang's words, as if muttering to himself or just stating a fact.

He leaned over, kissed Lei Gang's earlobe, and muttered, "Why can't we try it? Actually, it won't make people feel embarrassed, you... at least you don't hate me, do you?"

The hand covering the chest began to move, stroking through a thin layer of clothes, exploring Lei Gang's body, savoring the vigorous vitality under the muscles.

"We can come little by little, starting with physical touch, little by little..."

"If you feel sick, you can push me away. I won't force you, absolutely not."

The corners of Lei Gang's mouth tightened, his eyes fluttered and flickered, he felt that he should refuse, really should refuse, but his body didn't obey the command, his mind and body were separated, but his body was still stubbornly conveying the truth after his chest was touched little by little. The feeling of being poked by feathers.

The heart beats a little fast.

Throat is also a bit dry.

He swallowed his saliva, and felt that Zhang Zhang's hand had been stretched into his clothes, his nimble fingers were very hot, and every touch seemed to touch a fatal point, which made him faintly tremble.

Zhang Zhang focused on the movements of his hands, and delicately kissed Lei Gang's ear, moving a little bit.

Lei Gang's silence is the best answer.

His heartbeat began to intensify, suffocating him as if he couldn't breathe.

continue……

Get what you want...

At least let him understand that he is already different, such acquiescence, such patience, his heart has already been moved, and he can never look back.

He believed in his flirting methods, just like he believed in every sentence he said before with inductive language, never touching Ni Lin, and his soft prayer was hard to refuse.

But he overestimated himself, this violently beating heart and slightly trembling hands, as if the drug addiction has not disappeared, he was very excited, but the next second, when he found that the trembling of his fingers was uncontrollable, he suddenly widened his eyes. With a blink of an eye, the action stopped abruptly.

These days, he has been hurt by this feeling of hurting his body. A strong psychological shadow swept over him, his thoughts were interrupted, and his eyes turned black.

This feeling cannot be said to be unbearable, in fact, for Lei Gang, there is still some hope.

When the delicate kiss moved from the ear to the cheek, the moment before it touched the lips.

All movements stopped abruptly, the hand that ignited the flame was suddenly pulled away, and a violent trembling was transmitted over.

Lei Gang opened his eyes abruptly, and looked over in surprise.

Could it be that the drug addiction has struck again?

What catches the eye is a smiling face uglier than crying.

"I think... maybe there is no other way..." Zhang Zhang squeezed out a smile, turned over and lay down on the other side of the bed, raised his arm to block his eyes, his bent fingers were trembling, and then he squeezed hard. live.

Then--

"Crack!" A crisp sound.

He slapped himself hard.

With a miserable smile, "It's really fucking useless."

Lei Gang was silent.

This slap was like a slap on his own face.

I can't tell what it smells like.

Some regrets, some regrets, and more inexplicable.

Zhang Zhang's body was trembling all the time, unlike the moment when the drug addiction broke out, the slight curvature revealed a certain dark atmosphere.

Lei Gang kept looking at Zhang Zhang. He didn't know what to do, and he was restraining himself faintly. As time went by, his head cleared up, and the feeling of regret became stronger and stronger.

Lei just got up and walked out with a cigarette from the bedside table. He felt that he should think about what he was thinking before.