treacherous world

In May, Kaifeng Prefecture is full of spring.

The sun was high on this day and the weather was fine. Early in the morning, the yamen servants in Kaifeng opened the gates. Chao Mahan took a few yamen servants to patrol the streets as usual, when he saw a tall maroon horse running leisurely in the distance. , the man on the horse was dressed in blue, waving to the people here.

"Ah!" Wang Chao shouted with sharp eyes, "Master Zhan is back!"

With this voice, all the yamen servants in Kaifeng Mansion ran out to look, and sure enough, it was Zhan Zhao who came back in good spirits.

Zhan Zhao and Bai Yutang arrived at the gate of Kaifeng Mansion early in the morning, and they parted ways before entering the city, Zhan Zhao went back to the government office, and Bai Yutang brought Bai Fu back to the Bai Mansion first.The journey was full of dust and dust, Bai Yutang always liked to be clean, he said that he would go back and change clothes first, and then go to pay a visit to Mr. Bao later.

Zhan Zhao got off his horse in front of the gate of the mansion, and after greeting everyone, he asked the yamen servants to take the local products to the kitchen, which were special delicacies from Thangkong Island and Changzhou Mansion.

After leaving Xingkong Island, he and Bai Yutang took the time to visit their hometown. Zhan Zhao turned the old house upside down, and finally found a box in his elder brother's house.

Bai Yutang found this box for him. When Zhan Zhao saw it, he thought it was a solid piece of wood, but Bai Yutang told him that it was a box with traps.There are many organs, but he can open them.

There was nothing special in the box, only a jade pendant and a scroll were left.

Both Zhan Zhao and Bai Yutang couldn't understand the strange symbols drawn on the scroll, but this might be related to the reason why Zhan Hao acted so secretly, or it might just be a conspiracy.

Up to now, Zhan Zhao can no longer express his feelings for Zhan Hao. Although he is the eldest brother, he still feels so strange.Zhan Zhao is not quite sure which of his words are true and which are just lies.Putting everything away, Zhan Zhao was going to go back and find some information to study.

After exchanging pleasantries with everyone in the Kaifeng Mansion, Zhan Zhao ran to the study to meet Lord Bao, Zhao Hu was eating a sweet pear, and suddenly remembered something, "Master Zhan, in the study..."

But looking up, Zhan Zhao had long since disappeared.

Zhan Zhao rushed to the door of the study, and when he saw the door was open, he ran in, "My lord."

There was a man standing in the study, and Zhan Zhao saw a chubby belly, at least six or seven months old, that man was holding a paper and making fun of him.

"Grand Master Pang?" Zhan Zhao was startled, why is Grand Master Pang in Master Bao's study?Immediately squinted his eyes, he couldn't, it was Master Bao who usually bullied Taishi Pang, could it be that he was not here during this time, and was taken the lead?

"Hehe, the guard Zhan is back?" Pang Ji smiled and leaned forward, "Old Bao misses you every day."

"Teacher." Zhan Zhao glanced at his seemingly small belly, wondering, "Where is Master Bao?"

"Oh, it's in the palace. The emperor asked him to be in charge of the Jade Appreciation Conference these two days. Isn't he a scholar of LongTuge University?" Pang Ji replied with a smile.

Zhan Zhao has heard about the Jade Appreciation Conference... He wanted to prepare for it a few years ago, but he never got it going.

This Jade Appreciation Conference was proposed by the Empress Dowager, who loves jade.

Today, the world is prosperous and peaceful, and the collection of gold, stone and jade is popular among the people.

However, Zhao Zhen has always been a benevolent government, preventing local officials from searching for beautiful jade from the people to pay tribute, and advocating to hide wealth from the people.I heard that there are many people who know jade among the people, and there are interesting activities such as gambling on stones.It just so happened that the queen mother's birthday was approaching, so Zhao Zhen specially held a jade meeting, so that people who love jade in the world could exchange ideas and make the queen mother happy.

Don't be fooled by Mr. Bao, he is a handsome and elegant scholar in his heart, and has unique insights into gold, stone and jade. It is natural for him to host this kind of conference. In addition, he is also the prefect of Kaifeng, and he also needs to ensure the safety of this conference, so he is very busy these days .

Ke Zhanzhao still didn't understand why Pang Ji was called to stay in Kaifeng Mansion?

When Pang Ji saw Zhan Zhao staring at him, he felt chills on his neck, and said with a smile, "I will come to work for that old bag for two days, and I will leave in a few days."

"Oh..." Zhan Zhao was dubious, stuffed two duck pears for Grand Master Pang, and then went out to ask Zhang Long.

Only then did I realize that Grand Master Pang had made a mistake.

A while ago, Concubine Pang successfully gave birth to a child, but unfortunately it was a girl.

Concubine Pang cried and cried, and the Grand Master felt very sorry.

Zhao Zhen is quite beautiful. This girl follows Concubine Pang, with big eyes rolling around, supple skin, chubby and indescribably cute. He hugs her all day long and won't let go.

The queen mother also likes it, as long as it is loved by children, girls can be regarded as open-minded!Seeing Concubine Pang getting angry, I advised her that she was still young anyway, so she should have more children.

Pang Ji had offended many people by going sideways because of Concubine Pang's happiness.This time a daughter was born, and many people laughed at him.The grand master was a little angry, the queen mother held a banquet that day, and no one knew who put some wine and medicine in the grand master's wine bowl, the grand master went crazy with alcohol after drinking two glasses.Fortunately, his son Pang Yu stopped him, but the grand master still smashed the wine bowl on the table, and Zhao Zhen was furious.

In the end, it was Bao Zheng who told him to give him a lighter punishment.

The queen mother didn't blame Pang Ji, the old in-laws, but it was against the rules to not punish him, so he was sent to Kaifeng mansion to work for Bao Zheng for a month.It happened that Gongsun was away, so the master's work was given to him.

In fact, Zhao Zhen did this for Pang Ji's benefit. Kaifeng Mansion is safer than anywhere else. With Bao Zheng in charge, he is not afraid of being bullied.

Speaking of which, who is so bold as to bully Pang Ji?

On the surface, of course, there are none, but behind the scenes, there are quite a few.

Zhao Zhen lost a concubine before, and another one died of illness not long ago. Fortunately, the little princess was born, and Zhao Zhen was in a better mood.

Many courtiers felt that this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, especially those with daughters at home, and it was not pleasing to see Concubine Pang dominating the harem.

Women, young and beautiful things are always the latecomers. Concubine Pang will be 25 in a blink of an eye after giving birth. Compare.

Many people wanted to overthrow the grand master and send their daughters to the back seat.The battle for the harem is often more turbulent than the battle for the court.

But to be honest, based on Zhan Zhao's understanding of Zhao Zhen, he is not a person who loves the new and hates the old, lustful and greedy. The emperor and Concubine Pang are in adversity and have experienced a lot together, so they will not abandon her so easily.

The king of Mingde will treat his women kindly, especially the concubine who has been with him for many years and has children.How can a man who is not good to his own wife treat the people of the world kindly?

Zhan Zhao calculated the time, he and Bai Yutang had been outside for too long, Concubine Pang even gave birth to a baby!I always feel a little guilty towards Mr. Bao, without myself by my side, and I don't know if I have encountered any danger.

One year is enough to turn the court upside down. In addition to Zhao Pu's resignation and the emergence of new people in the court, it is already a new look.

Zhan Zhao pulled an old civil servant in the mansion who was familiar with the situation in the palace to ask about the recent situation.

The old man told Zhan Zhao that the military power concentrated in Zhao Pu was now divided into the Fifth Route Army in the southeast, northwest, and middle, and five generals were in charge of the military power.Zhao Zhen has always been unwilling to appoint someone unexpected to Zhao Pu as the Marshal of the Army and Horses.

These five generals also have a lot of background, three of them are Zhao Pu's old generals, and two are Zou Liang.

The Xilu army is actually the foundation of the Zhao family army, and He Yihang is still watching.

As before, he was still the head of the Zhao family army, responsible for reporting the military situation to Zhao Pu at any time.To put it bluntly, this is the team that Zhao Zhen left behind for Zhao Pu, and it is also his last barrier.

The [-] Zhao family's army is brave and good at fighting. With one against a hundred, it can be said to be the most powerful military force in the Song Dynasty, and it is also his Zhao family's own soldiers. Regaining the position of commander-in-chief can help him get Jiangshan Sheji back.

Because of this, other people from all walks of life are very honest.

The army at the southern foot was taken over by Long Qiaoguang, and now they are moving to Dali, Yunnan to catch small bandits.

The Donglu army is led by Zou Liang, and there are many waterways along the southeast coast. Zou Liang is good at naval warfare, and the navy is under construction.

Beilu's army is Yixing, Marquis of Lubei, Zhan Zhao doesn't know this person.

The old man told Zhan Zhao, "Xue Yixing is very young, less than 30 years old, a martial arts champion, and the son-in-law of Weng Guogong. He is a rare martial arts genius."

"Oh..." Zhan Zhao nodded, the background is very hard.

"Where's the army in the middle?" Zhan Zhao asked.

"It's called Zhuge Jinhui." The old man told Zhan Zhao, "This man is very mysterious. He is said to be highly skilled in martial arts. He is a nephew of Princess Chai's family." Now they are mainly stationed in the central region, but there are only a few people, only [-] to [-].

"Oh, that is to say, two royal nobles and three civilian generals, the emperor's bowl of water is quite flat." Zhan Zhao nodded in satisfaction.He asked again, "What about the people in the imperial city?"

"Hehe, there are [-] forbidden troops in the imperial city, led by Ouyang Shaozheng."

"Oh!" Zhan Zhao laughed, "Huo Qilin, who has been promoted, has become the leader of the Imperial Army? No wonder Mr. Zhao Pu always has a headache when he talks about entering Kaifeng."

"There's not much change in civil servants." The old man then introduced to Zhan Zhao, "The time for the autumn exam hasn't arrived yet, but it's coming soon. With recommendations from officials from all over the country, I guess we'll have to replace them with a new batch."

"En. By the way, how many people want to squeeze out Grand Master Pang and send his daughter into the palace?" Zhan Zhao was quite interested in this.

"Northern General Xue Yixing has a younger sister who is good at martial arts. It is said that she is very beautiful and good at martial arts."

"Wu's..." Zhan Zhao was a little scared for Zhao Zhen. Although Concubine Pang was hot-tempered, she was still weak in the end. It would be difficult for Zhao Zhen to be replaced by someone with strong martial arts.

"There is another one, named Fang Qiaoqiao, who is the granddaughter of Mr. Fang, a talented woman."

Zhan Zhao thinks about it, but this is not reliable, as far as he knows, Zhao Zhen doesn't like talented women, he prefers Concubine Pang who is a bit delicate, smart when she should be smart, and dumb when she shouldn't be.

"one left……"

"What else?" Zhan Zhao was puzzled, so many girls came all at once, no wonder Lao Pang looked sour.

"There is a girl from a foreign race." The old gentleman seemed a little embarrassed when he said this.

"What's wrong?" Zhan Zhao was puzzled.

"That girl probably knows the Ninth Prince."

"Huh?" Zhan Zhao was taken aback, he has something to do with Zhao Pu?

"The tribes in the northwest are all unified." The old man said, "Now it's a new tribe. The leader of the tribe is Temuli, the brother of the Ninth Prince who played with him since childhood, and this girl is his younger sister, Temuyan. "

Hearing the name, Zhan Zhao was quite awkward, "Is that so...the girl from a foreign race is also coming? But has there been a concubine selection recently? Why does everyone come at this time?"

"Isn't there a Jade Appreciation Conference?" The gentleman told Zhan Zhao cheerfully, "These are not poor people. Who doesn't have a few decent jades? Bring them to Kaifeng to let the Queen Mother open her eyes, and pass the Queen Mother's test first." Say it again!"

Zhan Zhao didn't know whether to laugh or cry, shook his head, and asked, "What about the emperor's opinion?"

"Hmm... The emperor probably doesn't know, but Mr. Bao just gave a comment on these."

"Which sentence?" Zhan Zhao was curious.

"Fate can't be forced."

"That's true." Zhan Zhao nodded in agreement.

Seeing that Zhan Zhao was in good spirits, the gentleman asked again, "Master Zhan, when will your predestined person come? It's not too young, think about it, what about my granddaughter, today..."

Zhan Zhao didn't know whether to laugh or cry, "Old man, your granddaughter is not yet fifteen, so how can it be!"

"Why not?" The old man wanted to chase after him, but Zhan Zhao had already slipped away with an excuse.The old man walked back silently, muttering, why is Mr. Zhan not in a hurry?

While talking, I saw Pang Ji strolling out from behind, and seemed to hear the old man muttering, and said with a smile, "You people in Kaifeng Mansion are also stubborn, can't you see that you, Mr. Zhan, have someone in your heart."

"Really?" The old man was taken aback, "Master Zhan has a sweetheart? Who is it? Which girl? I haven't heard of it."

Pang Ji chuckled, "Old Bao knows what's in his mind."

"Oh, Grand Master." The old man leaned over curiously and asked, "What kind of person is Mr. Zhan's sweetheart?"

Pang Ji touched his chin, "Type?"

"Hmm! Fat or thin, delicate or beautiful? Literary or martial, refined or powerful?"

Pang Ji giggled, "Well, he's not fat or thin, but he's quite tall, and he's extremely handsome, which is rare in the world. He's an all-rounder in both civil and military affairs. Sometimes he's gentle, sometimes he's powerful, and he even has money."

"Really?" The old man's eyes widened. As expected, it was impossible for someone like Zhan Zhao to be missed. It was all because his granddaughter was too late.

"That's right." Pang Ji said quietly, "Master Zhan's sweetheart is good at everything, but his temper is not very unpredictable."

"Have a bad temper?" The old man wondered, "That's not okay, Mr. Zhan is so easy to talk, don't be bullied... How bad is it?"

"Oh, that's not too bad, it's just that he doesn't like to talk to people, and he doesn't like to talk. If anyone provokes him, he will kill him or something."

"Heh..." The old man took a deep breath, wouldn't he be a bitch? !

"Ah..."

Bai Yutang sneezed just as Bai Yutang sat down in the elegant seat on the second floor of Taibai Residence, before he had time to order food.

He originally wanted to go to Kaifeng Mansion, but when he passed by Taibaiju, he felt a little hungry, so he asked Bai Fu to send a letter to Kaifeng Mansion, telling Zhan Zhao that in Taibaiju, after dinner, we will go to pay a visit to Mr. Bao together.

The boss of Taibaiju hadn't seen Bai Yutang for a long time, so he hurried over to apologize. Recently, he knew that he and Mr. Zhan had traveled far away, so he didn't reserve the private room. Recently, there are many people in Kaifeng Mansion, so let someone occupy it today. I will leave it at the beginning of tomorrow.

Bai Yutang also couldn't let people do business at a loss, so he told him no, business was more important.

The boss specially set aside a small area for him with a screen on the second floor, which is quiet by the window, so that he can have a drink with Zhan Zhao later.

As soon as Bai Yutang sat down, he saw someone looking inside.

Seeing that he was not an outsider, Bai Yutang nodded to him.

"Hey." The person who came was neither fat nor thin, but also good-looking, dressed in rich and noble clothes, and came over cheerfully, "Brother Bai, I haven't seen you for a long time."

"An Lehou is doing well recently?"

It was Pang Yu who came.

Pang Yu, Bai Yutang and Zhan Zhao would never look at him in the first place, but the so-called prodigal son will never change his face. This kid has experienced life and death several times, ups and downs, and after living with Bao Zheng for a period of time, he has changed his appearance. up.

Because he saved Gongsun and the fourth son, everyone in Kaifeng Mansion treated him kindly.

Although Taishi Pang fought with Bao Zheng every day, he still gave a lot of strength in the key battles, so everyone didn't hate the Pang family and his son so much.

Bai Yutang doesn't look down on people's birth or past, and won't look up or look down on you just because of what you have done in the past, as long as you are better now!

For the past few days, Pang Yu went to Kaifeng Mansion to accompany Pang Ji for dinner, and as soon as he left the house today, he heard that Zhan Zhao had returned.Pang Yu thought that when he came to Taibai, he would order some food and wine, and when he went back, he would ask Zhan Zhao to eat with him.I didn't expect to see Bai Yutang when I hugged tightly, and Tian came over to say hello with a straight face, but I didn't expect Bai Yutang to be quite polite.

In fact, in the eyes of outsiders, Bai Yutanghai was really not very polite, but Pang Yu knew that Bai Yutang even greeted him.

"Brother Zhan, are your eyes okay?" Pang Yu sat down in front of Bai Yutang and asked with concern.

Bai Yutang nodded, "It's all right."

"Oh." Pang Yu was relieved, "It's really time for you to come back, my father was still talking about it a few days ago."

"What are you talking about?" Bai Yutang was puzzled.

"Oh, there are a lot of quacks in Kaifeng Mansion recently. Brother Zhan is here, so Mr. Bao is safer." Pang Yu didn't have a heart, and said what he had to say.

Bai Yutang quite liked this kind of temperament, leaning against the window and chatting with him while looking at the long street outside, "Congratulations."

"Oh!" Pang Yu was stunned for a moment before remembering to talk about Concubine Pang giving birth to a baby, and said with a smile, "My first name is Zhao Xiangyi, and my nickname is Xiangxiang. She's so cute, but it's a pity that I can't hold her baby. The emperor sees it every day." It's too tight."

Bai Yutang could imagine that Grand Master Pang must be disappointed because he gave birth to a granddaughter, but Pang Yu, as an uncle, seemed to like it quite a bit, and Zhao Zhen seemed to like it too from the tone of his voice, so that's fine, boys and girls are the same, girls are more considerate.

At this time, I saw a blue shadow swaying over not far away, like a fairy driving along the way, I couldn't let go of my hands, and greeted people on both sides all the way, anyway, everyone on the street knew him.

Bai Yutang thought it was funny, and from Bai Yutang's expression, Pang Yu knew that Zhan Zhao was probably here. He thought, when Zhan Zhao came up, he would say hello to him, and then go to Kaifeng mansion to have dinner with his father.

Just as he was thinking about it, he heard a shrill voice from the dining table beside him, "I thought it was so noble and heroic, but I didn't expect to curry favor with the rich and powerful, so it would be better to curry favor with someone who is notorious." It's all talking and laughing, which is so disappointing."

Pang Yu reacted for a while before he roughly understood what the other party was saying. Looking up at Bai Yutang, he saw that he was calm, still drinking and looking out the window, as if he didn't hear or understand.

Pang Yu scratched his head and thought, where did the outsider come from, and the news is so ill-informed?Who in Kaifeng Mansion doesn't know that Grandpa, I have reformed evil and returned to righteousness for many years? !

Seeing that Bai Yutang didn't respond, the other party got excited, and continued, "Oh, I said it's good to have a beautiful sister. As long as you sleep with a powerful man, the whole family will follow the chickens and dogs to heaven, and all cats and dogs are masters." .”

This is a bit unbearable. Pang Yu can't hear others gossip about his sister. He is also impulsive and has no brains. He jumps up and shouts, "What are you talking about, sissy?!"

When the speaker turned around, he was really a "sissy" man.

Bai Yutang glanced over there, and knew in his heart that this man was not a sissy, but a woman pretending to be.

I saw two people sitting on the table beside me, a man and a woman, both young.

The man was wearing a long purple gown, he looked very refined, but Bai Yutang could tell that this man was good at martial arts, and he should have some family status in terms of bearing.The girl pretended to be a man, but she didn't have much makeup and looks good. She should be a Lianjiazi.

"Who are you calling sissy?" The girl stood up, but she was a bit shorter than Pang Yu.

Pang Yu looked at her and was amused, "I said short winter melon, your voice is taller than your stature."

Bai Yutang sighed, this girl was petite, and Pang Yu was tall, so the comparison between the two was almost double, which was quite funny.

"Do you dare to say that I am a wax gourd?" The girl had a very hot temper.

Pang Yu quickly waved his hand, "Oh, no, you are not a winter melon, how can you be taller than a winter melon, are you a pumpkin, or a female pumpkin."

As soon as Pang Yu's words came out, many diners around were overjoyed.

"I'll beat you to death!" The girl blushed and pulled out a white leather whip to beat Pang Yu.

Pang Yudong was hiding in Tibet, but he had practiced his kung fu recently, and for a while, the girl really had nothing to do with him.

"You...you stand still!" The girl stomped her feet.

Pang Yu pouted and looked at her, "Why should I stay still and wait for you to smoke? You are a pumpkin and I am not!"

The girl became anxious and stretched out her hand to draw the knife.

"Ling'er, don't be presumptuous!"

At this time, the young man who had been sitting at the table stood up, stopped the girl, and came over to apologize to Pang Yu, "My sister lacks discipline, An Lehou, don't be as knowledgeable as her."

"Hehe." Pang Yu nodded, "You should be disciplined, how can you get married if you are so fierce."

The girl looked even uglier.

His elder brother smiled and stretched out his hand, "What An Lehou said is very true, he should be disciplined." As he said that, he made a gesture to pat Pang Yu on the shoulder.

Pang Yu was wounded once by the Seven Injury Fist before, but with just a light touch, his internal organs were all injured.If it wasn't for Gongsun and Bai Yutang, his life would have been lost.Looking at this person's posture now, it looks a little familiar, and the strength seems to match.

Pang Yu's heart trembled, and he said, isn't it... come again? !

But it was too late for him to hide, and just as he was thinking whether Bai Yutang would help him, a hand stretched out from behind and lightly grabbed the man's arm, instantly releasing his internal strength.

The man smiled and said to Pang Yu, "An Lehou, why don't you go to Kaifeng Mansion yet? The Grand Master is waiting for you to eat."

Pang Yu looked back, and saw that it was none other than Zhan Zhao, and his face was overjoyed immediately. When he heard what Zhan Zhao said, he hurriedly told him not to run out, "Yo, I almost forgot."

Seeing that Zhan Zhao withdrew his move easily, the man knew that this man was extraordinary, and when he saw the giant gate in Zhan Zhao's hand, he knew it, and hurriedly said, "It turned out to be Mr. Zhan, I'm sorry."

Zhan Zhao cupped his hands slightly, "General Xue, you don't have to be polite."

The man was taken aback, and the girl came up to him and asked, "How do you know my brother's surname is Xue?"

Zhan Zhao pointed to the jade pendant on the man's waist, "The token of the Beilu Army has the word Xue on it, it should be General Xue Yixing Xue. Besides, ordinary people dare not provoke Pang Yu." After finishing speaking, She cupped her hands, "It's understandable that the general is eager to protect his sister with his unique skills, but Kaifeng is an imperial city, and he talks about the king's law. It's not illegal to curse people, but it's a crime to hurt others. General, try your best to be a gentleman in the future."

Bai Yutang twitched the corners of his mouth slightly, as if he saw a black cat coldly warning a group of stray cats from outside, "This is my territory, get rid of the troublesome ones!"

After Zhan Zhao finished speaking, he went to sit in front of Bai Yutang, who poured wine for him.

At this time, the clerk of Taibaiju came up and said, "Master Zhan, Fifth Master Bai, the private room on the third floor is free, do you want to sit?"

Bai Yutang nodded, and went upstairs with Zhan Zhao.

Xue Yixing also paid the bill, and left with Xue Yiling.

Xue Yiling kept staring at the two of them going upstairs, and clicked his tongue twice, "Brother, is that Zhan Zhao? Why is he so young and handsome, yet so famous?"

Xue Yixing nodded, "Zhan Zhao really deserves his reputation, but you did the same just now, it's fine to provoke Pang Yu, why provoke Bai Yutang?"

Xue Yiling stuck out his tongue, "I heard that he is the best swordsman in the world, so I want to see who is better than you! Besides, I hate a man with his appearance."

"Hey..." Xue Yixing was rather amused, "Bai Yutang is so romantic, which woman doesn't drool when she sees him, don't you like it?"

"Hmph." Xue Yiling didn't take it seriously, "I don't like people who look evil like this. Zhan Zhao is pretty good and smart. Brother, it's a pity that such a person stays in Kaifeng Mansion. Let him enter the barracks?"

Xue Yixing looked at his sister helplessly, "Look at you, remember, you didn't come here to like Zhan Zhao, but to make you like the Emperor."

"I'll just ask." Xue Yiling blushed and complained, "I hate men who don't know martial arts the most..."

"Nonsense." Xue Yixing's face changed slightly.

"Okay, okay, let's not talk." Xue Yiling pursed his lips and left unhappy.

On the third floor, Bai Yutang was standing by the window drinking tea, watching the two siblings leave together with a half-smile on his face.

"Hello." Zhan Zhao walked over with a glass of wine, and looked at him puzzled, "Why are you smiling so sinisterly?"

Bai Yutang turned his head, looked at Zhan Zhao for a while, and suddenly said, "Peach blossoms in the eyes attract bees and butterflies, cats in spring are more mischievous!"

"Ahem." Zhan Zhao choked on his drink, pointed at his nose, "Tell yourself!"