Eros kisses Psyche

Xu Budie was actually a little nervous, and he couldn't explain the reason for this nervousness. There were many things that would pop up when his mind was empty and the surroundings were silent.But looking around, the sugar is sweet, the flowers are red, the leaves are green, and the sky is blue. It seems that everything is back on track, as if nothing happened, and there seems to be something different.

For example, before he felt that when he saw Cheng Zhu, he wanted to turn around his legs like a pug dog, turning over and over with his belly shy, but now he was actually a little inexplicably afraid of him.

But in my heart, I knew clearly that Cheng Zhu had nothing to do with Cheng Zhu from the beginning to the end. He was kind enough to help out of fear of accidents. Instead, he was scolded and targeted by that old bastard for no reason. God came to take care of myself, my birthday was not happy, and the performance was not regarded as a success.

It's bad luck for him to encounter such a mess.

But just like now, just being alone in the room, I still feel scared when I calm down, and I dare not be idle, so I rush to pick up Lele, and push the hazy little fat man to wash up half asleep and half awake.Fortunately for Cheng Zhu, he was quite open-minded, and he confessed, "You can take the quilt by yourself in the closet", and then he really fell asleep without even stumbling. Hulujing was reincarnated, and no one regarded him as an outsider.

It seems that he is more hypocritical.

Xu Budie changed his dirty coat and shirt, soaked them in the basin alone, and took the clothes that Lele had changed to wash.Finally, I closed the door of the bathroom, confirmed that it was indeed locked several times, and then dared to take off my close-fitting underwear—the blood had dried and formed scabs, sticking to the clothes. At this time, I was pulled away again, and it hurt so much. He hissed.

Looking in the mirror, there are two bloodstains on the back from the shoulder to the blade, and the side is full of blood spots after excessive force, as if the wings have just been plucked; Grinded or scratched, I don't know if it was left today or before.During this period of time, he didn't dare to just take a bath in the hospital water room or the bathroom in the doctor's duty room like before. The heartless days in the past seemed to have passed away, as if they didn't exist at all; One time to really take a bath is to borrow the bathroom in the rented house. A layer of grease has accumulated on the body, and I also feel a little smell.But I dare not, even if it’s just to wipe myself in the water room. In the gaps of the water platform densely covered with mud, in the cracks of the doors that are not closed tightly, and in the wind that is blowing, I always feel that there are pairs of peeping eyes. Eyes, their gazes are licked obscenely and greedily, invisible like tarsal gangrene.

The bathroom in Cheng Zhu's house is big enough, and there is a big mirror too. Compared with the small bathroom in Mianmian's group of rented houses, you have to take a much clearer picture of yourself.But the clearer it is, the less it is possible to cover up some traces that seem to remain irreversible, as if the self that can think has separated from the ravaged body, floating in mid-air, watching how the other bruised self was ravaged. Bound, bullied, and played with, watching my expression change from bewildered to painful and then become treacherous and uncontrollable, but strange and strange feelings surged up inside my body like waves, as if I was being torn apart alive—— —Is sex really like this?Is there such a thing?

He rushed into the bathroom, opened the shower to the maximum, and did not turn on the ventilation fan. The white mist immediately obscured the surfaces of all glass products, and those images that kept repeating and shaking faded away, leaving only a layer of dark shadows.Those were supposed to be dirty, disgusting, greasy, and ugly, looming toward him with disgusting grins.He wanted to vomit but couldn't vomit, so he could only scrub and wash his skin repeatedly, which intensified the red marks and enlarged the wound.Pain is right, pain is good, pain is not to remember other feelings.The water was too hot, he hid in a corner of the bathroom, pressed against the cold tiles behind him, the hot and cold stimuli merged in his body, he slid down slowly along the track of condensation.

No one can understand, that's why he can't tell; even he doesn't understand, what's wrong with me?This body seems to be broken, the cognition and presentation circuits seem to be connected wrongly, and the mind and body have diametrically opposite reactions to the same feeling.Obviously, as long as I think about it, I feel uncomfortable, want to vomit, regurgitate, nervous and neurasthenic, and the brain resists and refuses to accept it; but the body is excited without hindrance, it seems to be quite aftertaste, and there is even a sense of innocence emptiness.

He sat there in despair, trying to relieve...  He didn't want to look at a part of his body that betrayed his brain and emotions, so he could only open his mouth wide like a dehydrated fish, looking up at the ceiling of the bathroom, watching the water droplets condense into drops In the middle of his forehead, he saw the fuzzy edges of the messy and crumpled bath towels piled up on the shelf and enlarged again.He suddenly remembered that this should be Cheng Zhu's bath towel.He was so sleepy today that he didn't have time to take a shower, so he just used it to wipe his body twice casually, and left it here...

This thought made his mouth dry for no reason, as if the disjointed body and soul were reconnected.He thought of the scene when he used this bathroom last time:... At that time, the body was the instrument of the soul, and the even muscles and bones were countless finely intertwined white strings, tensed and relaxed with countless times of plucking But now, all the rhythms are messed up, and the unforgettable memory has become a haunting ghost on the body. As long as I think of it, there will be no wind, no strings and self-sounding, like a ghost hitting a wall, repeatedly falling into the original situation.

This is wrong, I should be very disgusted... I obviously feel disgusted...

But the body faithfully convulsed, and there was an irresistible physiological response in shame—it was not so much sex as some kind of conditioned reflex stress. ...But amidst the chaos and misalignment of the whole body, only one pair of eyes was awake, so he firmly grasped the things at the edge of his vision, stretched his body as far as possible, struggled from the neck to the lower jaw, raised a long curve, opened He grabbed a corner of the bath towel that fell from the shelf in his mouth, and gently pulled it down.

The big mass of soft fleece fell towards him, warmly covering all the dirty parts for him, shielding him from the hot and cold blows that fell on his head and face, and his whole body was wrapped in the imaginary residual smell; he almost immediately He screamed, the bath towel was messed up, and he lost his support and collapsed in the stagnant water. He hugged it tightly and twitched slightly until the hot water washed away the traces of the criminal evidence one by one.

(The language description of the above plot has been deleted and edited)

It was so embarrassing that Xu Budie stayed in the bathroom for a long time and didn't dare to come out, wishing to find a crack in the floor to get in, for fear that he would wake up the father and two by screaming too loudly, and even more afraid that Cheng Zhu would find out that he had washed the towel inexplicably Hanging up to ask him, he tossed and turned all night, and was kicked by Lele more than a dozen times.

But he was overthinking. Professor Cheng didn't have the time to observe so closely. He couldn't open his eyelids when he got up early in the morning. It was the end of the year, and Cheng Zhu had to prepare for exams at school, and had year-end deadlines in his studio. He was busy on both sides, and he had to travel frequently, so he basically didn't touch the ground and couldn't get a photo.

At first, Xu Budie thought about how to prepare himself psychologically so as not to show his flaws when they met. In fact, he couldn't even see each other for several days. This subtle sense of shame finally had nowhere to vent and had to gradually fade away. .Cheng Zhu asked him to take care of the pick-up and take care of Lele's meals. This time, he didn't bother to argue with him back and forth, so he directly took a contract and put it on the table. Calculated according to the daily salary of a domestic nanny in the market, it's not high, but it's not low either. .

Xu Bu turned to the last page, and saw that his name had been signed on one side. When Cheng Zhu wrote the word "Zhu", it was separated from top to bottom, just like the logo signature he engraved on the base of the work back then. sparse.He stretched out his hand, just like he stroked the engraved horizontal and vertical lines when he was a child, he also stroked the ink on the paper now.

He also signed his name in the blank space on the other side.I don't know why, but just this small juxtaposition makes people feel happy for no reason. After writing, it is even reflected in the sun, and I read it over and over again proudly several times.

But the ten or so days passed quickly, and although they seemed to be living together, sometimes they went out by themselves every day, and Cheng Zhu was catching up on sleep; when Cheng Zhu came back, he had already slept with Lele.Sometimes it was the other way around, when Cheng Zhu went out early in the morning, he and Lele were still sleeping, so they only saw each other for 10 minutes all day.

I usually don't think so, but now we're living together, and we have some kind of secret that we can't tell. When the shame of being exposed is over, there's only inexplicable missing. , I can’t say it out, I can only scratch silently through the warmed porridge, the steamed buns left in the pot, and the notes in the message.One day he had already made up his mind to catch Cheng Zhu, and he waited until midnight, so sleepy that he felt vaguely being carried and stuffed into the bed.He remembered that he mumbled vaguely that he would get up to see him off during the day, but he was coaxed to shut up for some reason.

As the end of the semester approached, even the kindergarten was full of pressure: to prepare the final report and the program to welcome the new year, even Lele became very nervous and serious, reciting ancient poems in the corridor of the room, while walking swan steps with her body crooked.Every parent received the assigned task, and Xu Budie also took the "task" on Cheng Zhu's behalf. Now there are a lot of paper-cut decals in front of him. They are used to decorate the classroom windows, and they also need to make rabbit ears and rabbit tails. Swan wings swan skirt.Cheng Zhu had a three-day business trip, and the traffic jam during the Spring Festival at the end of the year might not be able to make it back, so he could only entrust Xiao Xu to hold the final summary meeting for his son.

"If you don't see Lele dancing the little swan, you will definitely regret it." Xu Budie threatened that he had some selfish intentions, but he didn't have any hope;

"If I can make it in time, I'll go too," Cheng Zhu listened to his son's performance on the phone, not knowing whether to laugh or cry, "but what does Teacher Xiao Wang think, can a swan be so fat that it can fly?"