In the golden cage

Ji Shaoting didn't notice anything wrong, nor did he get to the bottom of it. He just continued his narration: "In fact, I don't have any mental illness in this area, and I don't resist these things. The reason why I didn't want to before was because you were too anxious gone."

Like a lecherous ghost, full of nasty words, greasy as hell, Ji Shaoting couldn't help but hate Li Chen like this.

In Ji Shaoting's eyes, sex is not for pleasure, but because kissing and hugging are not enough, and there is nowhere to put the love in his heart, and he has to go further, combine with the other half, and return to integrity before he can feel at ease.

So this kind of thing can't be done with anyone, but he forgives Li Chen's casualness in the past, after all, Li Chen has obtained a second life in love, it doesn't matter if it's dirty or not.

So Ji Shaoting wanted to apologize: "I'm sorry, I was the one who said what I said that time."

He didn't say which time, but Li Chen knew what he was referring to.

You have done it with so many people, don't you feel dirty?

At that time, Ji Shaoting's question made Li Chen's inferiority complex grow into a monster, rushing out from the depths of his heart, invading and occupying Li Chen's body, and commanding him to take extremely excessive revenge on Ji Shaoting.

Fortunately, everything was reconciled in the freshmen. He heard Ji Shaoting's guilt: "I don't really mean to despise you for being dirty, and I don't want to accuse you of your past sexual experience. I feel disgusted because you keep saying that technology is good , made me feel very uncomfortable. I was very angry and scared that time. You know that I am timid, and I get scared when you are in a hurry. "

Yes, of course Li Chen knows, he now knows Ji Shaoting better than he knows himself.

It's all justified.

"That time I got drunk first," Li Chen also apologized, "I'm sorry, my mouth was full of nonsense."

Ever since he heard Ji Shaoting's dislike for him from outside the room door, his heart seemed to be on fire, and he was on fire. He just wanted to make Ji Shaoting satisfied quickly, and wished to take out everything in his body to please him, including his sexual ability. .

Only now did Li Chen realize how vulgar and childish this kind of thinking is, what Ji Shaoting wanted was not at all.What he wants is understanding and respect.

"Tingting, I'll listen to you from now on," Li Chen whispered softly, "Go slowly at your pace."

Ji Shaoting nodded and said yes with the corners of his lips curled up. After a pause, he continued: "Actually, Ah Chen, I didn't want to do it before. It scared you for one reason. What's more, it's because our positions are not equal. Every time it is You give orders and I obey, and it makes me feel bad—I, I feel like I'm being sold, cheap."

Li Chen blurted out: "Why do you think so?!"

Li Chen should be the one who clearly thinks this way: "I am the cheap one. It is true that the positions are not equal, but you are superior and I am inferior. Tingting, you can always provide more and purer than me. I will give you a piece of affection." not worth."

Ji Shaoting wanted to return the original words, and asked Li Chen why he thought about it?But he changed his mind: indeed, Li Chen's previous way of loving his lover was really unflattering.

"But it can't be said to be cheap," Ji Shaoting has already figured it out, "There are many kinds of love in this world, no distinction is made between high and low, and there is no standardized template for people to follow one by one—if this is the case, isn't this world It's so boring?"

They have a plot that belongs to the two of them alone, and as they progress, it gradually becomes the most turbulent memory in their lives.

It turns out that they all have the same worry: unequal.For Ji Shaoting, it is an unequal status, but for Li Chen, it is an unequal emotional value.

This worry bothers them all the time, to an extreme level, it even robs them of control over their bodies and distorts their words and deeds.

Only after really falling in love, looking back, can I realize that this trouble is meaningless: we were all the same person before, so there is no equality.

A few mornings later, Ji Shaoting used Li Chen's mobile phone to call Chen Pei.At that time, Chen Pei was walking to the tree-lined avenue of the teaching building, and when he saw the familiar note name, he stopped by the side of the road, connected and asked, "What's the matter, Ah Chen?"

It's not that Li Chen doesn't know how to actively connect with her, but it's like completing a daily task, always opening at a fixed time with a fixed opening line: Mom, how's your health recently.

But this time, there was no familiar opening remark from the end of the electrification, and instead, there was a silence that made Chen Pei puzzled.

And the perpetrator of this period of silence was sitting on a sofa thousands of kilometers away, listening to her voice, opening and closing his lips empty.

Ji Shaoting had a lot of things to say, and they piled up, and he didn't know where to start, and the more urgent problem was: he didn't know whether to call Chen Pei, Aunt Chen, or Mom.

Seeing Ji Shaoting's helpless look, Li Chen on the side guessed his entanglement in a few seconds, so he came closer and called "Mom" first.

Then he raised his eyes to Ji Shaoting, and he yelled, "Mom."

A very faint call almost passed Chen Pei's ear and disappeared in the midsummer sun.

Chen Pei stood there, smacking the word over and over again, wondering if it was Ji Shaoting's voice.Although Ji Shaoting's voice was pleasant to the ear, it was not very recognizable, it was the kind of clear and clear voice of an ordinary boy.

After rubbing it several times, she still couldn't confirm it, so she asked tentatively, "Achen, is that you?"

Ji Shaoting has always been good at chatting with people, and now he wants to ask for help for no reason.He stretched out a hand to grab the corner of Li Chen's clothes, looking very pitiful.

Even so, Li Chen still looked at him silently.

Escaping is not the way to go, finally Ji Shaoting took a deep breath, and as if making up his mind, he said into the phone: "Mom, it's not Ah Chen, it's me, Ting Ting."

Chen Pei's leg muscles convulsed for a moment.

At the end of September, the sun is still hot. At seven or eight o'clock in the morning, its brilliance has already appeared, and every green leaf is reflected brightly by it.

A couple held hands and walked in the broken light sifted by leaves, the bells of bicycles and the chirping of birds poured into the ear canal.

Chen Pei slowly supported the handle of the bench and sat down. Before recovering from the sudden situation, the words dragged on for a long time, "It's Tingting."

Are you by Ah Chen's side?back again?Did you reconcile with Ah Chen?

Such questions are superfluous and need not be said. The fact that Ji Shaoting is willing to call her "Mom" already explains everything.

Chen Pei didn't even know what else to say. She sat on the bench, and after a long time, she only uttered one sentence: "I'm coming back this time, so I won't leave?"

"Well," she heard Ji Shaoting say, "I won't leave, I won't leave again."

They didn't talk much, Chen Pei had class in the morning, this short pre-class time was not suitable for deep talk, it was too hasty, besides, Ji Shaoting hadn't figured out what to say yet.

He just wanted to muster up the courage to make a phone call and tell Chen Pei that he was back again, by Li Chen's side.

Before hanging up the phone, Chen Pei heard Ji Shaoting say that he would visit her next week, and she replied with a smile: "Of course."

The joy in my heart was not very strong.

After the morning class was over, Chen Pei was collecting the class work while wondering if this was a kind of repayment.

This classroom is full of freshmen, at the right age, starting at the age of eighteen or nineteen, life is just beginning, and there are infinite possibilities.Chen Pei likes being with these young people, as if it can make up for her absence from Li Chen's life for so many years.

But quite contradictory, if she is asked to stay with Li Chen for a long time, she may not be happy.

It was only after the operation that I said I would go back to work.

Chen Pei no longer thinks about the entanglements with Li Chen's biological father back then, and the sentence "So I love the wrong person" has long since turned into smoke and drifted away with the wind.

But there was one thing that was always entangled in her heart, so deeply rooted that she couldn't get it out: her relationship with Li Chen.

Chen Pei often doubts whether the original decision to ask Li Chen to stay in Li's house was right or wrong.

If she had been decisive at the time, willing to fight with her life, crying, making trouble, and hanged herself, and insisted on taking Li Chen away, if she had been willing to do so, she knew that Li Chen's biological father would not stop him.After all, his second wife has already inherited several lines of Li family's blood for him.

But she would never get up.She is an educated person, a high intellectual, and her decency does not allow her to do stalking things.

At that time, she was really planning for Li Chen, let him stay in Li's house so that he would at least not have to worry about food and drink, and more or less get some resources when he grows up.

And her plan really worked out in the end, didn't it?After the death of Li Chen's biological father, he left a legacy to Li Chen. Although he has the least income among many brothers and sisters, it can at least become the first pot of gold for him to start a business.

After simplifying all these things, it was she who was making excuses for herself.In the final analysis, the only truth is that she herself is unwilling to take the responsibility of taking care of Li Chen.

Because every time she sees him, she can't help but think of the man who abandoned her, and said coldly, "So I love the wrong person."