In the golden cage

The moment Ji Shaoting opened the closet door, he saw a hideous scar.He stared at the winter coat for a long time, at first he really thought it was some kind of new fashion, with such a big slit in the cuff, that even the cotton wool would overflow.

The more I look at it, the more I feel that something is wrong. This crack is very rough and has no aesthetic feeling. It is more like the product of rushing around with scissors indiscriminately.

After Ji Shaoting took out the whole clothes, his skeleton trembled three times.

This down jacket has been torn and scissored everywhere. Although there are signs of mending, it can't hide the gnawing wounds underneath.

These wounds, vicious and full of murderous intent, were obviously aimed at destruction.And the person who made these wounds was undoubtedly Li Chen.

The strength in Ji Shaoting's hands was suddenly emptied, his fingers loosened, and the clothes fell to the ground.

With trembling hands, he took out other clothes from the closet one by one, shirts, T-shirts, sweaters...everything was like this, his whole body was covered with scars, and none of them were intact.

The strength of Ji Shaoting's legs was also exhausted, and his whole body collapsed, and he fell into the hill piled up with tattered clothes.

Ji Shaoting understands Li Chen's obsession with clothes very well.

Therefore, he knows better than anyone else that the true affiliation of all these tearing and scissoring belongs to him, Ji Shaoting.These injuries were actually inflicted on Ji Shaoting indirectly, on his flesh, bones, every inch of blood vessels, and every organ.

How much did Li Chen hate him to be so obsessed.

But at the same time, Ji Shaoting couldn't ignore the clumsy needlework in these gaps.

Facing Li Chen, his feelings have always been divided, as if at this moment, he was clearly trembling with fear for Li Chen's crazy actions, but he was full of longing for these clumsy repairs.

He could almost imagine Li Chen's appearance when he did these things, regretful at the same time, and cautious at the same time.That sharp silver needle must have pricked his hand, he was never good at housework.

After piercing it, I would think again, whether Tingting had such a time.

You have to make a big mistake to wake up, just like you have to touch fire to know that this shiny thing is untouchable.This is the commonality of all human beings, and Li Chen is no exception. He has to witness his own madness before he can know his own madness.

Then make up, and then save, a white line twists and turns, there are always places that are not in place, but the needles in and out are all footnotes of love: it is healing.

So why did Ji Shaoting cry, because he was afraid or moved, he had no idea at all.Tears just came out without his consultation, drop by drop unreasonably, unstoppably flowing down.

Perhaps the real answer is to have both, both fear and emotion.

When he is no longer obsessed with a single conclusion, but can accept that Li Chen and everyone else, as an extremely complex individual, can never be fully understood by another person, he will also be able to accept his ever-contradictory feelings towards Li Chen .

Ji Shaoting didn't remember how long he had been sitting in this pile of clothes, but he only remembered that when he heard Li Chen's shout and saw Li Chen's face, for some reason, even though he already had a guess, he still asked, "What's the matter with these clothes? "

It should be to prove, Ji Shaoting thought, to prove whether he can know more about Li Chen now, and he can restore his behavior based on the traces he left behind.

Li Chen's face was swaying in Ji Shaoting's tears, Ji Shaoting blinked vigorously, and when the tears fell, he saw Li Chen's frozen facial muscles, very stiff, a tendon on his forehead, and his lips trembling slightly.

It's a physical response to fear.

They were so close that the distance of a few inches was almost non-existent.

It was too close, and in such a plot, Ji Shaoting finally saw the fear in Li Chen's eyes for the first time since he met Li Chen.

Buried very deep and bottomless, it is a murderous monster lurking in the dark, ready to be killed at any time.

At the same time, Ji Shaoting felt more energy on his wrist, he lowered his eyes slightly, and it was indeed Li Chen's five fingers that were locking him tightly.

He heard the murmur made up of repeated characters, back and forth endlessly: "Ting Ting..."

Is that so?

Ji Shaoting suddenly woke up, is this the case?All of Li Chen's behaviors, the so-called lack of confidence and insecurity, all stem from the fear deeply rooted in his body.

In fact, Li Chen had already told him personally: he was afraid, more afraid than death, and one day Ji Shaoting suddenly didn't want him anymore.But Ji Shaoting still had to go through this once and witness Li Chen's physical reaction before he knew the weight of his words.

So after trying to escape from Li Chen who was showing signs of illness countless times, he replied to him for the first time: "I am here."

He took Li Chen's hand, along with his upper body, passed his arm through his armpit, hugged his back, and said in his ear over and over again: "I am here, Ah Chen, I am here Here, not going anywhere."

He patted the back of Li Chen's head lightly, and at the same time felt the weight of his body increasing - Li Chen was slowly lifting his weight up, attaching everything that was heavy in his body to Ji Shaoting's body, and Ji Shaoting is willing to accept.

"Achen," he asked softly, "are you afraid of recalling this feeling, being... abandoned by your mother?"

Li Chen buried his face in Ji Shaoting's neck, and after a while, Ji Shaoting heard his inaudible voice: "Mmm..."

Trapped in the fence again and again, holding the railing with both hands, watching her leaving back from the gap, shouting hoarse voice, she couldn't let her go, she would just turn her head and say, "Go back." Leave a smaller and smaller back.

Every time we leave, it is the one who stays who suffers the most.

So it's useless to express, he has already expressed his wishes, emotions and thoughts to the fullest with heart-piercing cries, but did she listen?Has his situation changed?Why didn't she take herself with her?

In the end, I became numb and realized that this woman was nothing more than that.

When she grows up, she can understand her helplessness. Indeed, if he stays in the Li family, his future will be brighter. Even if his status is only higher than that of a servant, he will still be the young master of the Li family after all, not to mention that she does not have the financial ability. , To undertake the healthy growth of a child.

He accepted her apology, reached a false reconciliation with her, seemed to be responsive, and she would do anything she asked, but this was only a secular connection.

Because she is the mother and he is the son, the two are connected by the same blood, he doesn't want to make unfilial rumors, he is the person who values ​​face the most.

The lack of close people in his childhood left a void in his heart, which he could not fill with money, status, and sex.

Until I met Ji Shaoting.

He hugged Ji Shaoting tightly, and whispered: "Tingting, you gave me a second life."