Cannon Fodder's Rebirth

After eating happily, he for some reason ignored that Zhong Yifan drove here, and he didn't mention it himself. When Jiang Xi remembered, he had already been drinking the third can of beer with Zhong Yifan.

Zhong Yifan himself doesn't take it seriously, a little beer is like water to him.On the other hand, Dad Jiang, who suffered from headaches from drinking too much alcohol when he was young, can't drink alcohol now, and his face is already red like Guan Gong after drinking a can of wine with him.

After dinner, Jiang's mother asked Jiang's father to go back to the bedroom to lie down for a while, and Jiang Xi asked Jiang's mother to rest for a while, and he went to wash the dishes.

Although it is a picture of a happy wife, virtuous son, filial piety and a happy family, it is actually a pretty normal life for a family of three, but it makes Zhong Yifan envious.During the meal, he paid close attention to Jiang Ma's hands, which had not undergone any special maintenance. The skin on the back of the hands was the same as the cheeks, leaving some marks of age.But no matter the kind smiling face, or the hands that keep picking up vegetables for himself or Jiangxi, what they bring out is a deep kindness.

That is, the love of a mother who loves her son deeply.

I thought it was the most natural feeling in the world, but I didn't know that maternal love can also become a luxury...

It's almost time to say goodbye.

Hearing that Zhong Yifan was about to leave, Jiang Xi immediately stopped him, the reason being that he had just drunk and couldn't drive.

After being reminded by her son, Jiang Ma also remembered this incident, and followed her to persuade her to stay.

"Why don't we do this? It's going to be dark anyway, so you and Xiaoxi can spend the night together in his house today, and leave after eating broken dumplings tomorrow morning." Six years of care, so I have a lot of fellowship.

Even Jiang Xi didn't understand Zhong Yifan's current situation, and Jiang's mother naturally didn't know much about it. Before hearing what his son said, he was from the same school, but he just ran out early to work alone, and his parents were still in his hometown.A distant cousin of Jiang Ma's nephew also drives for some company boss in City B, and often comes to the house, his warm and hospitable disposition makes it easy for Jiang Ma to treat Zhong Yifan as a nephew.

Unable to evade, Zhong Yifan was forced to stay.In fact, from the bottom of his heart, he is indeed a little nostalgic, nostalgic for this feeling of "home", and Jiang Ma's accent, which is very similar to his mother...

Jiang Xi's bed is 1.5 meters wide, although it is not too big, but it is not a problem for two people who are not fat to sleep.

It's just that they are not two people with a pure relationship, and Jiang Xi has a habit of sleeping close to naked no matter in winter or summer, which suddenly seems a bit awkward.

Jiang Xi habitually took off his underwear until he realized that it might not be appropriate to take it off so cleanly, but it seemed too deliberate to put it on again. He hesitated for a long time while holding his pants, and finally took advantage of Zhong Yifan to wash up As soon as he turned around, he got into the bed first.

Jiang Ma prepared two quilts for her. Although she could hide her embarrassment after getting in, Jiang Xi's heart was still pounding.

Sleeping in the same bed with the person he likes, or the person he has loved for so many years, even if his parents sleep next door, he is not sure whether he has this certainty to ensure that he will not be cranky.

Zhong Yifan came back, wearing his plaid pajamas.It was prepared by Jiang's mother for her son, but it turned out that her son still had the habit of sleeping almost naked for so many years. The pajamas he had never worn had never been worn, and it happened to be worn by Zhong Yifan.

"The place at home is small, I've wronged you." The bed wasn't too big, and two more quilts were placed on it. After Zhong Yifan also lay down on it, Jiang Xi found that even if it wasn't crowded, it was indeed cramped.

"It's okay to be smaller, sometimes no matter how big the home is, it's just a house." Zhong Yifan put his arms under his head and looked up at the ceiling.

"...Did something happen at home?" In the end, the real emotional intelligence does not match the age at the moment. Many things can be heard with just a few words.

"You are really sensitive." Without admitting or denying, Zhong Yifan closed his eyes.

After waiting for a long time without hearing him speak again, Jiang Xi thought he was asleep, so he reached out and quietly turned off the lamp beside the bed.

After a soft click, the room was plunged into darkness.It was so quiet that even the sound of breathing seemed to be amplified.

Pulling up the corner of the quilt, Jiang Xi wrapped herself tightly, afraid that her increasingly rapid heartbeat would come out through the gap and be heard by the other party.

However, before the other party heard him reveal his heart, he heard three words first.

I'm sorry, Zhong Yifan said so lightly but clearly.

……

Jiang Xi understood what he was talking about.

"That day, I saw you went to find Tong Huan, and the day before that, I saw him with another man." After a short pause, Jiang Xi pursed his lower lip in the dark: "So, I don't blame you. No."

Too deep liking is like a bone spur growing between the bones, knowing that it is there to make you hurt, but it cannot be removed.The biggest torment of wishful unrequited love comes from the depths of the heart, and sincerely hope that the person you love can live happily.

Amidst the ticking of the bedside alarm clock, Jiang Xi heard Zhong Yifan take a deep breath.

"Are you sympathizing with me?"

"It's liking." Or more profoundly, it's love.

Probably the most profound insight after rebirth is that life is full of variables.People, in fact, never know what will happen in the next second. On the premise of not hurting others, it is the first thing Jiang Xi learned to express himself bravely.

"You still like it now?" Actually, Zhong Yifan didn't want to admit that he could feel it, because he didn't want to face the fact that he didn't deserve to be loved so deeply by Jiang Xi.

"I've always liked it." Jiang Xi's voice was calm and firm.

For a long time, Zhong Yifan didn't speak any more, only when Jiang Xi wondered if he was really asleep, he opened his mouth softly.

"Do you know whose mobile phone you picked up today?" He said this because he didn't want to hurt Jiang Xi again, so he didn't wait for the people around him to answer, so he gave the answer first: "It belongs to Tong Huan."

It seemed that something had stuck his throat, making him unable to make a sound, and it seemed that a pair of invisible hands were holding his lungs tightly, making it difficult to even breathe.

Zhong Yifan must have witnessed Tong Huan's betrayal back then, which Jiang Xi firmly believed in, but he never expected that they would... their infatuation became cheap and ridiculous in an instant, and they just confessed their love again.

"I didn't know you were still talking about... what you said just now—" Embarrassed and embarrassing, he wanted to explain, but was interrupted.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear it." Zhong Yifan's tone was not very blunt, but he expressed his relentless refusal vividly.

……

It turns out that when emotions reach a certain tolerance limit, the mind is not chaotic, but blank.

Jiang Xi suddenly felt that he couldn't remember why Zhong Yifan was lying beside him at this moment, and why he confessed again.

Empty eyes can't see the ceiling in the darkness, and from the ticking of the small alarm clock, it can be discerned that only time is passing by forever.

In five hours, or six hours, it will be daylight.There is no one-night affair, but it has the same ending, and the dawn says goodbye, and then we may never meet again.Even if there is a chance to meet again at some point in the future, judging from this situation, it will probably only end up as a passing encounter.

No matter how much yearning and love, it can't match the helplessness of fate.

I used to be ecstatic and thought that I had found what I wanted, but when I looked back, I found that it was still empty.Even if he stayed in the field to study, even if he had a short encounter with Zhong Yifan, nothing would change.

Gently got off the bed, put on his underwear indiscriminately, Jiang Xi took out the cigarettes and lighter hidden in his pocket, and slipped to the balcony by himself.

Seen from here, the whole neighborhood is in deep sleep, only the security room at the gate is still lit.Afraid of alarming his parents, Jiang Xi didn't dare to turn on the light, only the faint light of his cigarette flickered between his fingers on the balcony.

When the third cigarette was almost finished, I heard coughing from my bedroom.He remembered that Zhong Yifan had caught a cold.

With the help of the weak night light, Jiang Xi squatted in front of the glass tea table to find the commonly used medicines in the drawer below.

With the prepared cold medicine in one hand and a glass of warm water in the other, Jiang Xi brought the two glasses into the room together.

The desk lamp in the bedroom has been turned on, and Zhong Yifan is leaning over to take a tissue from the bedside tissue box.

"Drink the cold medicine and sweat, and you will be much more comfortable tomorrow."

Looking at Jiang Xi and the medicine in his hand, he hesitated for a while before Zhong Yifan stretched out his hand to take it.

"You're still so good at taking care of people." Recalling that night that year, Jiang Xi, who was only in the first year of junior high school, also took care of himself so considerately.

"It's not like this for everyone." This is the truth. Throughout his middle school days, Jiang Xi was known for being incomprehensible and sympathetic.The one who touched me the most was Zhou Xiaoyou. When she was separated into arts and sciences, she rejected someone's confession, which made the little girl depressed and almost fell out of the seed class of arts and sciences. Jiang Xi still feels a little guilty when he thinks about it now and then.

Just as he was about to lower his head to take the medicine, Zhong Yifan raised his head again when he heard this, and took a deep look at Jiang Xi's face.

"If you don't like me, maybe we can still be buddies."

"Then pretend that I don't like you, or you don't know that I like you." Adjusting his mentality, Jiang Xi said this in a joking tone.

"Don't be stupid." Zhong Yifan didn't say the second half of the sentence "I don't want to hurt you".

In fact, I suddenly found that there is someone who cherishes me so much in my life, and I am very touched, but the missing part of his heart is already too big, and I can't keep Jiang Xi's clear feelings.

Since it's just a waste to take it reluctantly, it's better not to waste it.There are thousands of men in the world, even if they are comrades, if they search hard, they can still find their own partner. He is willing to bless Jiangxi.

It had been many years since he had felt this kind of sincere hope for a good life alone, Zhong Yifan suddenly smiled after drinking the medicine.How rare that he found that there was still a little "nobleness" left in him.

Jiang Xi was taken aback by that smile.

Zhong Yifan's smile has always been lethal to him.In my impression, Zhong Yifan seldom smiles to the point of baring his teeth, most of the time he slightly bends the corners of his lips to let the smile show more from his eyes, his gaze is warm and has healing power...

It's not a sin to like someone, but the feeling of liking will make people suffer.

"You should smile more."

"I almost forgot how to laugh..." Sighing, with a sad tone, Zhong Yifan who said this seemed to have seen all the vicissitudes of life.

There must be something wrong, Jiang Xi could feel it, but couldn't see it through, so he couldn't help calling his name with concern.

"Actually, what do you like about me?" Sitting on the head of the bed, Zhong Yifan spread his arms by his side, shifted his gaze from his right hand to his left hand with a self-satisfied expression, and glanced around before looking at the river beside the bed , the voice was full of a decadent self-abandonment: "I can't find a reason to like myself..."