Net Wang Fans - Yan Gui

Once I thought we were very close.

Because I can see you when I look back.

----Inscription

In early July in London, England, the sky was clear and the sun was mild.There is a breath of summer coming in the air, which makes people feel that the blood in the whole body is rushing and flowing.In fact, the Wimbledon tennis tournament has just come to an end. The running and jumping on the field, the sweat, the arc thrown, the pure white game clothing, the fresh lawn, and the yellow-green ball seem to have A fervent infectiousness.

After the final, he returned to the hotel with that wholehearted sense of joy.During the period, there were naturally many reporters and fans besieging him, but thinking that someone was waiting for him to go back, the irritability would be much less.He quickly entered the elevator, watched the light jump up, and his heart was filled with a feeling of anticipation.

But when he thought about the last time he returned to Japan, his family tricked him into going on a blind date—that pleasant feeling disappeared, and his stomach felt as if he had been filled with lead.The relationship between him and Fuji... Mom and Dad may still persuade, what should Grandpa do?Such a traditional old man has been urging him to find a granddaughter-in-law since he graduated from high school (just in line with the legal age of marriage in Japan), but he was dismissed by his studies in college. Now it has been delayed for five or six years, and the old man can no longer bear it. That kind of thing happens...

Tezuka felt guilty.He is the only son in the family, so there is nothing wrong with grandpa being so anxious.But he really couldn't let go of that hand, with such a warm smile.There was no confession between them, and they came together so naturally, Tezuka himself didn't know why.Maybe it started when I was in junior high school. I was used to the close distance, and I could see that smile when I turned around, which was within reach.

Next time his parents would never try to trick him out again, whether it was shopping or taking a walk, no excuses would work, Tezuka made a decision in his heart.Although I feel sorry for the grandfather who raised him single-handedly, he has to do this.

The elevator dinged open.Tezuka walked out, walked down the corridor, and adjusted his facial expression before opening the door to his room before entering.The window of the room was open, and a man with light chestnut hair was standing there, seemingly looking at the scenery.Hearing the sound of the door, he turned around, with a warm smile on his face, exactly the same as a month ago: "Hey, Tezuka, are you back?"

When Bu Er calls him, he always likes to add that unique modal particle before the name, with a little raised ending sound, which makes people feel soft in their hearts.Tezuka paused for a moment, then walked over quickly, stretching out his arms to hold him in his arms.He was playing at Wimbledon, and he was shooting pictures for the report in York, and this time he must have rushed to finish it again.Tezuka buried his head between Fuji's neck, breathed in that unique breath, and felt that all the muscles that had been overexercised just now were relaxed. "How about those old Roman walls? Are they nice?"

The person in his arms laughed out loud. "Please allow me to correct you - in fact, a considerable part of those ancient city walls were built by the Danes. By the way, you look like you are jealous of those stones~~"

Tezuka uttered some syllables that he couldn't understand clearly from his throat.He also didn't want to refute those hidden jokes, anyway, Bu Er always took pleasure in challenging him to change his face, if he always cared so much, he would have been pissed off so many times.It took a while for him to let go, stand up straight, and his eyes began to roll around the room: "How long is it before the deadline? I may have to stay in London for two more days. The coach will take me to visit some tennis players. Senior...why is your suitcase still there, haven't you tidied it up?"

"...my evening flight."

Tezuka raised his eyebrows, his tone a little disappointed. "Are you in such a hurry? Next time we meet..."

"Actually, I have something to tell you." Fuji interrupted him.He rarely does this, but if he doesn't say it now, he is afraid that he will not be able to say it again if he has been brewing for a long time.

"What?" Tezuka looked back at him, the sunset glowed the sky red, and also gilded the person by the window, making him look like a smiling angel.

Then the angel said, "Hey, Tezuka, let's break up."

————————————————————————————

Like the end of the month.

Tokyo, Japan, 05:30 in the evening.

Tezuka Kunimitsu, who just finished training on the tennis court, was covered in sweat.He walked to the sidelines, put down his racket, picked up a towel and wiped his face randomly a few times.Echizen beat him again at the Australian Open less than a month ago.Tezuka frowned, thinking of the boring look that flashed across the face of a junior from a school when he picked up the trophy.Echizen also unceremoniously pointed out that his condition has been extremely poor for half a year. Although his words were harsh, he had to admit that Echizen's vision was very keen.

The black mirror phone that had been dark all of a sudden lit up.Tezuka Kunimitsu withdrew his hand reaching for the mineral water, and answered the phone instead.

"It's me, Dashi." He continued to wipe his hair with his other hand, thinking that he should rush a little later before going home.However, Dashi's voice on the other end of the phone was almost incoherent, Tezuka frowned, feeling a bad premonition for some reason. "Calm down, what happened to you?"

"No, it's not me..." Oishi finally managed to organize his words, and his next words made Tezuka's movements freeze in mid-air. "Yes... no, no two..."

"What's wrong?" Tezuka asked anxiously.He and Fuji have not been in touch for more than half a year.

"...was found fainted...now in the hospital...the doctor said it was a deep coma with unknown reasons..." Dashi's voice was almost crying.

Tezuka felt himself pinned in place by those last words. "...Wait, what did you say?" He asked in disbelief.

"It's a vegetative state... There is no wound on the body... But no matter how you scream, you can't wake up..." Dashi seemed to be really crying.

Tezuka felt a white light appear before his eyes.The news came so suddenly that he couldn't even hold his extremely thin business phone.He seemed to be in a daze for a few seconds, and then he heard his own voice say mechanically, "Tell me which hospital, Dashi."

The hospital where Fuji was taken was not too far from the tennis club where Tezuka trained.However, during the rush hour, the traffic jams on the roads in Tokyo are serious, and the subway stations are crowded with people.Tezuka gritted his teeth and rushed straight to the sidewalk around the corner with his mobile phone in hand.

When he arrived, Fuji had already been transferred from the operating table to the intensive care unit, and everyone could only watch through the thick glass that the familiar person was lying on a large blanket of white and the beeping sound of instruments. submerged in the background.

There are many people outside the ward.Sitting on a bench was Budu's mother, her eyes were already red and swollen.And another, much younger woman stood beside her, holding her head in her arms, tears streaming down her cheeks quietly.A figure stood at the end of the corridor, and Tezuka recognized that it was Fuji Yuta. He bent over the window sill, buried his head between his two raised hands, and his shoulders seemed to be shaking.

Oishi's eyes were red, and Kikumaru was burying his head on his shoulder and sobbing continuously.Kawamura squatted in the corner, his eyes glazed over.Gan turned his back, took off his glasses, did something, then put them back on.

After graduating from college, everyone went their separate ways.Oishi has become a high school teacher and works in an international accounting firm, Kikumaru has become a well-known singer, Echizen and himself have embarked on the road of professional tennis, and it is rare to get together.Now the only difference is Echizen who is still abroad, but this situation is really impossible to make people happy.

"...What the hell is going on?" Seeing this scene, Tezuka's heart almost stopped beating.His mind was almost blank, and he felt it was a miracle that he could still put phrases into sentences now.Tezuka moved closer to the monitoring window, and the smile on the face of the man under the oxygen mask was still faintly discernible; but when he met them for the last time, his cheeks had visibly thinned.How did that happen?For a moment, he wanted to smash the glass in front of him and kick open the door, as long as he could get close to Buer and touch the temperature of his skin; but he didn't do it in the end, but the two hands beside him unconsciously clenched into fists .

"The first thing I found was a couple who were watching the sunset on the Tokyo Tower... Fuji was standing near them, but suddenly fell down, and he looked unconscious no matter what, so I called 119 " Now the only person who can explain to him in an orderly way is Qingxue's former data madman, "The doctor has done a comprehensive examination just now, except for some malnutrition, everything is in normal physical condition, and no one has been found that may cause this. This kind of——" Gan Nan paused for a moment, as if he was choosing his words carefully, "the reason for the special disorder of consciousness... But this kind of coma is irreversible in theory, I am afraid that in the future, it will be..."

"Then why did Fuji become like this!" Tezuka growled uncontrollably, he couldn't listen anymore.However, what words in the dry words touched his memory...

...Tokyo Tower...Tokyo Tower!

He knew why Buer went there. They held hands for the first time at the observatory on the top... Such a beautiful sunrise was not as bright as the smiles of the people around him at that moment.He took two steps back abruptly, leaned against the opposite side, lowered his head and gasped for breath—then turned around and punched the wall, his knuckles turned red immediately.

"Tezuka!" Gan obviously didn't expect Tezuka's reaction to be so intense, and hurried forward to hold him back. "It won't help! Hands are very important to a tennis player!"

Tezuka didn't answer him.He lowered his head while maintaining the posture facing the wall, his eyes staring blankly at the ground in front of him.Fuji has lost a lot of weight...he lay there quietly...he hasn't had a good life recently...he disconnected from contact for half a year...he promised to take good care of himself...a lot flashed through Tezuka's mind in an instant A shot, finally fixed when they met for the last time——

"Why?" I heard myself asking with difficulty.Bu Er's tone is very serious.

"I think you also understand - we have no future, I'm sorry that it took me several years to discover and confirm this. Thank you for tolerating my waywardness all the time, this time should be the last time." Fuji's face remained the same Wearing the perfect smile.He walked past me, pulled up the suitcase, and headed for the door.

"...No! I don't agree!" I froze for a moment, then rushed over to grab his hand. "Suddenly say something about a willful future... I don't accept it!" I was incoherent, I didn't know what I was talking about, I just knew to hold the person around me, otherwise he might disappear forever.

Fuji looked surprised, presumably he had never seen me so unsettled before.But he laughed again in an instant, and this time I could see the bitterness from it: "Remember to invite me when you get married~~" Then he showed a distressed expression: "But I may not want to go... I'm sorry, hand Tsuka, just said it was the last time to be self-willed, but he regretted it so soon..."

My hands let go when I heard "married".Do you know?Know about that blind date?Knowing the stress in my home?No wonder……

"Anyway..." Fuji placed his hand on the door, "Goodbye, Tezuka~~"

No two left.I stood still, remembering how we got along—

I can’t see each other for ten days and a half months, one is in Tiannan and the other is in Haibei. One month in a year is not bad. If it wasn’t for Buer’s part-time job as a reporter, it might be even less; I have a bland taste, I like unagi tea, a cup of plum black tea in the morning, and teased me in front of my face that I used to be like an old man, but secretly learned Japanese cuisine, although I could eat it very rarely; and what did I do for him?Go on a blind date behind his back?Although that was not my original intention, like a guilty conscience, I dare not tell Bu Er.What does this mean?It sounds nicer to be a well-intentioned concealment, but if you can't cut off Grandpa's thoughts, who can tell whether this kind of concealment will happen for the second or third time?The first time it was cheating, what if it turned into coercion later on?Ask yourself, can I really disobey my grandfather's wishes other than procrastinating?

I was extremely depressed and felt like my whole body was on the verge of falling apart.Buer knew it, and first he made a decision for the two of us to break up before everything went bad.

I can't remember everything after that.About how to strengthen the mental training, about nodding to a certain photo indiscriminately, about the wedding with blurred faces... I smiled mechanically, but I seemed to see a familiar maroon flashing by the edge of the woods in the distance .But when I looked again, there was only the rustling of the wind blowing through the leaves.Fuji used his willfulness for the last time, and he didn't come.

Memories are like tides, drowning people to suffocation... Tezuka squatted down, put his head in his hands, ran his fingers through his hair, and a drop of water fell on the tiled floor in front of him.

He should have chased him out at that time and told Buer that it was his fault and he would not do it again in the future; or earlier, he should have spared more time with Buer instead of letting him follow him. Run around the world; the most important thing is that it doesn't matter if Fuji smiles and says it's not public, and it doesn't matter if others don't know, he should insist on taking the first step.

However, he hesitated, he stood still... That's why there is this situation now, Buer may have to sleep there forever, almost no different from the Yin and Yang separation - no, it will only make him more painful, hating himself why he couldn't be earlier Thinking of these...

————————————————————————————————————

Three years later, Tokyo General Hospital.

A group of nurses were hiding around the corner, whispering.

"Look, Tezuka is here again!"

"Yeah, yeah, it seems like he came back to visit that person every day when he was in Tokyo~~"

"It's a pity, how could such a gentle person suddenly become..."

"Shhh, he's here!"

Seen by the sharp eyes under the rimless glasses, all the nurses immediately dispersed.

Tezuka entered the ward, opened the curtains habitually, placed a few pots of cactus on the window sill in a sunny place, and then sat down beside the bed. "No two, have you seen the news? Echizen, like his father, won the Grand Slam for several years, and then suddenly stopped playing. But you are a genius, you must have expected it? He also said that he would come back to see you... ... I will retire in two years, and I will be a tennis coach in Tokyo, and I will be able to come every day... My grandfather has completely given up on urging me to get married, but he is still very angry, after all, I decided so hastily at the time I got married, and divorced within a year... No, you must be laughing at me for becoming a chatterbox..."

The person in the bed is ignorant.Tezuka's face remained unchanged. He helped Fuji massage the muscles of his limbs - the doctor said to prevent them from shrinking - while talking, stayed for half an hour as usual, and then left.I met Fuji's mother at the corner ("I'm so sorry, I'm bothering Tezuka-kun again" "No, it's nothing"), Tezuka went downstairs, and when he was about to go out the door, a man with dark blue hair happened to come in.

"Tezuka, are you coming to see Fuji again?" Yushi Ninzu had already taken over his own hospital, and he knew immediately when Fuji was transferred from a public hospital to him.

"Well. Thank you Ninzu-kun for taking care of me." Tezuka stopped in his tracks and solemnly expressed his thanks.

It is rare for Ren Zu, who claims to have never changed his face before the collapse of Mount Tai, to feel embarrassed. "It's all a little effort, how can I know Fuji and I for so long, isn't it?"

Tezuka didn't answer, just bowed and left.

Shinobu stood on the spot and watched his back merge into the sunlight.Tezuka came to report regardless of the weather, and he thought it was strange at first.But after he told a certain arrogant uncle—he was already the president of his own chaebol—he was silent for a long time, and finally only said one sentence: "It's a pity..." He was at a loss, and didn't know until later What do you mean by "unfortunately".

It turned out that Atobe's eyesight was always so sharp, so he withdrew his gaze and sighed deeply.It is indeed a pity, the pure and flawless feelings that have gone away.

postscript--

If you don't reach out to grasp the distance no matter how close you are, the momentary miss will become eternal.

Looking back suddenly, the world is so close.