Self-salvation of a cheap substitute

"Cultivate fortitude and be honest. Is this the motto of your school?" Fu Xizhou stood on the side of the road, stroking his chin and looking up at No. [-] High School in Qihuang District, and asked.

"Well, it's our school motto. It is said that it was written by the first headmaster himself." Wang Miao sat on the side of the road, took off his mask and panted heavily.

"Wow, Miao Miao, are you okay? Hey, don't scare me, your face is pale, Wang Miao, Wang Miao, don't scare me." Fu Xizhou glanced at Wang Miao, and found that the child's face was pale and his lips were pale. Zi, quickly squatted beside Wang Miao, held down Wang Miao's shoulder and shook it vigorously.

"I, even if I'm fine, I'm about to be vomited by you!" Wang Miao frowned, he pushed Fu Xizhou away, stood up and staggered a few steps, threw himself into the grass and vomited.

"Fuck, you still said it's okay, what is this, you've vomited out your bile, let's go to the hospital first, Wang Miao, if this goes on, don't mention sweeping the grave, I'll just buy you a cemetery next to your aunt's cemetery Ah!" Fu Xizhou patted Wang Miao's back, then hugged the child and tried to lift him up.

"..." Wang Miao stretched out his hand, signaling that he was fine.

"Hey, hey, hey, you're still trying to be brave at this time, you're going to piss me off!" Fu Xizhou roared.

"Do you know how much it will cost to treat my disease? A bottle of targeted drugs costs 2 yuan, including a year's treatment costs a total of 30 yuan, 30 yuan a year. I am 19 years old. Suppose I I can live another 50 years, so I need 500 million in total, I don’t have money, do you have money?” Wang Miao leaned on the flower bed to catch his breath, then lowered his head and lit a cigarette.

"This..." Fu Xizhou shook his head.

"Don't say I don't have money, even if I have money, I won't go to the hospital for treatment. If spending 500 million yuan can make me endure the pain and live to 50 years old, I would rather choose to spend all the money in this year , and passed away gracefully and happily." Wang Miao was choked by the smoke, and coughed as if he wanted to spit out his lungs.

"There is always a way, isn't it? The country will definitely help you. Don't give up. No matter how hard it is, we still have each other. No more smoking, you know!" Fu Xizhou snatched the cigarette from Wang Miao's hand, threw it on the ground and stepped on it several times.

"Okay, then I'll listen to you. I won't smoke anymore. Please don't talk too much. Pull me up." Wang Miao stretched out his hand and smiled helplessly.

"Oh, good." Fu Xizhou quickly hugged the child into his arms.

"Okay, let's go to that supermarket." Wang Miao smiled.

"The supermarket, that's the one, why don't you go home first, come here first?" Fu Xizhou asked in a low voice, supporting Wang Miao.

"I used to like to come here to buy cigarettes, but at that time I didn't have much money, and I couldn't afford a whole pack, so I could only come here to buy loose cigarettes, [-] cents apiece." Wang Miao recalled.

"Can you still sell it like this?" Fu Xizhou seemed to have heard something new.

"Then why not, just like you, buy by box?" Wang Miao rolled his eyes at Fu Xizhou again, his face full of disdain.

"Hey." Fu Xizhou smiled awkwardly.

"Hello, take a pack of cigarettes." Wang Miao pushed open the door of the canteen and smiled.

"Okay, let's see what kind of cigarettes to take." The boss raised his head in front of the computer and was stunned. He hurriedly put on his glasses, blinked vigorously, and then asked uncertainly, "Xiao Miao, is that you?"

"Ah, it's me, Xizhou, this is my old friend, Uncle Fan." Wang Miao smiled, and he let Fu Xizhou in sideways, and introduced, "This person is my friend, Fu Xizhou."

"You dead boy!" The boss raised his arm and lightly placed it on Wang Miao's shoulder, "After four or five years away, you still know how to come back?"

"Come back and have a look." Wang Miao took out a Maza and sat down. He rolled up his trouser legs and said with a smile.

"Just came back, come to smoke and drink some water, Xiao Fu, come in quickly." The boss took out two cigarettes, and handed one to Wang Miao and one to Fu Xizhou.

"I just came back. I stopped smoking. I quit smoking now." Wang Miao waved his hands repeatedly and said with a smile.

"I don't smoke either, thank you." Fu Xizhou glanced at Wang Miao and waved his hands.

"Okay, it's good to quit smoking. This time I came back to have a look, or I won't leave." Uncle Fan put the cigarette back into the cigarette case, and sat on the saddle, smiling.

"Well, not necessarily. It's possible to leave, or it may not be possible." Wang Miao picked up a bottle of water from the shelf, unscrewed it and filled it.

"Yo, it's getting late, have you guys eaten yet? If you haven't eaten, why don't you eat something here? Let's eat something together, Mr. and I." Uncle Fan glanced at the clock hanging on the wall, and snapped thigh.

"Then let's eat hot pot." Wang Miao thought for a while.

"I happen to have a pot here, and I still have food to order, do you want to drink?" Uncle Fan walked towards the shelf with a cigarette in his mouth and asked.

"Just have a drink, Xizhou, you can order some takeaway, then buy some vegetables, come here with mutton." Wang Miao looked up at Fu Xizhou who was standing beside him, and smiled.

"Okay." Facing Wang Miao's bright and charming smile, Fu Xizhou was at a loss for a moment. He blushed suddenly, then pretended to cough a few times, and hid at the door with his back facing Wang Miao to order. .

"You've lost too much weight over the years. Look at the dark circles under your eyes. You've lost your appearance." Uncle Fan clicked his tongue. He unscrewed the bottle of wine and poured some for Wang Miao, sighing.

"How did you two know each other?" Fu Xizhou asked Wang Miao with a chopstick of meat.

"Oh, it's a long story. Wang Miao likes boys, and my son also likes boys. At that time, I quarreled with my son all day long. I don't understand. How can boys be with boys? Wouldn't that be against Tiangang and violate the laws of nature? At that time, Xiao Miao was smoking here all day long. We were friends for years. He told me in detail what was going on and emphasized it to me many times. It's not a mental illness to like boys, we are uneducated, thanks to Xiao Miao, otherwise our family would be finished." Uncle Fan sighed.

"It's over, what's next?" Fu Xizhou touched Wang Miao's leg and asked.

"Later, later on, I suddenly needed a sum of money, so I wanted to come to Uncle Fan to borrow some money. To be honest, I didn't expect much. I never thought that Uncle Fan would actually lend me that money. "Wang Miao sipped his soup and said with a smile.

"That's right. Later, when it was agreed to pay back the money, there was a thunderstorm. I thought that Xiao Miao would not come, or he would come a day later. I didn't expect him to come running in the rain, opened the door and dropped the money, and then After saying goodbye, I turned around and ran away. To be honest, my heart was warm at that time. I didn’t expect a high school student to be so trustworthy. To be honest, many children came to me to borrow money, 51, borrow After I gave it to them, I never saw them return it to me." Uncle Fan sighed.

"As a human being, you have to be trustworthy." Wang Miao raised his wine glass and said with a smile, "I respect you for helping me back then."

"Forget it, pretend I don't know. Later, you often bring people here to buy cigarettes and food. You just want to repay the favor. Although you don't say it, the old man knows that you are cold-faced and warm-hearted. Ah, it's still a year-end payment, no one owes anyone, don't play this worthless game with the old man!" Uncle Fan laughed.

"Okay." Wang Miao sipped his wine, blushing.

"Xiao Fu is your boyfriend, right?" Uncle Fan smiled narrowly.

"Ah, this, me." Fu Xizhou looked at Wang Miao and didn't know how to answer for a moment.

"Yes." Wang Miao smiled, then grabbed Fu Xizhou's hand and squeezed it lightly.

"Yes, I am." Fu Xizhou looked down at Wang Miao's little hand, felt the warmth in the palm, and inexplicably felt a sense of pride in his heart.

"It's not easy, come, have a drink." Uncle Fan raised the cup in his hand.

After three rounds of wine and five flavors of food, Fu Xizhou helped Wang Miao leave the canteen. Of course, on the way, Wang Miao still vomited out all the food he ate just now. Seeing Wang Miao's pain, Fu Xizhou suddenly felt Feeling sad, he silently patted Wang Miao's back, then unscrewed a bottle of soda water and handed it to Wang Miao to rinse his mouth. Wang Miao smiled weakly, and then fell on the side and continued to vomit.

"Wang Miao, let's go to the hospital, okay, I feel sorry for you like this, really." Fu Xizhou stopped talking, and didn't look at the child's distressed look at the moment.

"Xizhou, what's the use of going to the hospital? The only way to treat me now is a bone marrow transplant. Do you know how much it costs for a bone marrow transplant and how long does it take to queue? I may not even be able to wait for that time, Xi Zhou, have you heard the desperate cries in the hospital? People who live in that environment will be scared to death by themselves, and I don’t want to continue living like that.” Wang Miao drank most of the water, then spit out most of it, Helpless smile.

"But there is hope, isn't it? If you procrastinate like this, what good will it do you? You don't want to think about what I will be like after losing you." Fu Xizhou patted Wang Miao on the shoulder.

"Even if you are admitted to the hospital, what can you do? If it can't be cured, you can lie on the bed with water infusion and acupuncture, and lumbar puncture for chemotherapy. What's more, I know my body well. Even if I receive treatment now, it is useless. Really. "Wang Miao walked forward step by step, holding on to the lamppost from time to time to catch his breath. From his high fever to now, frequent eating and vomiting have exhausted his physical strength, not to mention his stomach is not good. This undoubtedly made his illness worse.

"Wang Miao, this way, do you think this is good? I will accompany you to do everything you want to do, but you have to promise me that every time I go to a local hospital, I will go to the local hospital for a physical examination and get medicine. The medicine is also good, you don’t take the medicine, don’t eat, just drink water, don’t mention going to Shenhai City, maybe you will have to sleep in Wutong City forever, you know!” Fu Xizhou trotted a few steps, and then supported the crumbling child.

"Forget it, I really have no money, I can't afford medicine, how long can I take a bottle of medicine, 2 yuan, how many bottles can I buy with my savings, and how many bottles can you buy with your savings, don't be kidding, poor people With this disease, life would be better than death, so let me die quietly, okay?" Wang Miao stopped in his tracks, his voice trembling.

"What do you mean, Wang Miao, tell me what you mean, let me tell you, the Wang Miao I know is definitely not the kind of Wang Miao who accepts his fate now, Wang Miao should never admit defeat!" Fu Xizhou held Wang Miao's cheek , said eagerly.

"In this world, there is nothing that should be assigned. I have been struggling for so many years. It's not that I refuse to admit defeat, but I have no choice. I can only run forward, but now, I have a way out, that is, Die, once I close my eyes, I will be free forever, what Jiang Lin, what Chu Jiachen, what Yang Yunting, nothing has anything to do with me, I want to take a rest, can't I!" Wang Miao pushed Fu Xizhou away, but Fu Xizhou didn't He moved, but he sat on the ground because he was too weak.

"Okay, let's go to the hotel first, take a shower, and have a good sleep, shall we?" Fu Xizhou softened his voice and rubbed Wang Miao's heart.

"En." Wang Miao wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes.

"Hello, Jiang Lin." Standing on the balcony, Fu Xizhou looked back at Wang Miao who was already asleep on the bed, and then lowered his voice.

"What's the matter, what's the matter?" Jiang Lin's voice.

"Let's put it this way, I've had enough playing with Wang Miao. Do you want it? If you want it, you give me Chu Jiachen, and I'll give Wang Miao to you." Fu Xizhou lit a cigarette, pretending to be relaxed.

"What's the matter, you changed your mind, you won't have anything to hide from me." Jiang Lin's voice was obviously a little higher.

"Wang Miao is ill, leukemia, and it's only a few days before the blast phase. To be honest, I originally wanted to use Wang Miao's contacts in Pingcheng to help me make a comeback, but I never thought that he had this disease. My current situation you I also know, how can I have money, I can’t take care of myself, how can I bring an oil bottle with me, so since you want it, I will give it to you, but you have to give me Xiaochu, I have always liked it Xiao Chu, talking to Wang Miao is just a joke, please help me talk to Xiao Chu." Fu Xizhou kept looking back at Wang Miao, for fear that he would suddenly wake up.

"What are you talking about, leukemia, damn it, when did it happen, when was it found out, why did you tell me now!" Jiang Lin on the phone became visibly irritable.

"What does his life and death have to do with me? Anyway, it's just a joke. Is it necessary for me to inform you about this kind of thing? How about Jiang Lin, do you agree to what I said? If you don't agree, forget it. Anyway, I didn't." Money to save Wang Miao." Fu Xizhou sneered.

"You said that I am a beast in clothes, but I think you are better than me. Okay, I promise you what you said. Not only will I hand over Chu Jiachen to you, but I will also give you a large sum of money to make you come back. , but you can no longer appear in Pingcheng, understand, go wherever you want, but you are not allowed to appear in front of Wang Miao again." Jiang Lin also responded to Fu Xizhou with a sneer.

"Okay, no problem. Do you have to return the car that you cheated on me?" Fu Xizhou asked.

"Yes, I will satisfy you with all your requests. Are you by Wang Miao's side now?" Jiang Lin asked.

"No, Wang Miao said that he is going to visit the graves of his relatives in Qihuang District, Wutong City. You know, I am very busy and don't have time to accompany him, but counting the time, he should have arrived in Qihuang District. If If you want to bring him back to Pingcheng, send someone quickly." Fu Xizhou laughed.

"Well, I'll be there tomorrow morning." Jiang Lin hung up the phone.

Hearing the voice on the phone from busy to silent, Fu Xizhou put the phone back into his pocket in a daze, looked out the window in silence and finished smoking a cigarette, then tiptoed back to the bed and covered Wang Miao with the quilt, gently He pressed a kiss on the young man's forehead, and then looked at the young man's sleeping face by the moonlight. He couldn't get enough of this small face. If it wasn't for the fear that Wang Miao would wake up, he wanted to touch every inch of this face. Ten years, 20 years, and a lifetime, but it won't work now, maybe it won't work from now on.

Poverty, this is a disease that will be desperate once you get it, because you are poor, you can only watch others buy the things you dream of, because you are poor, you can only watch others abandon the things you value as treasures, because Poor, I have no way to save Wang Miao, I can only push him back into the fire pit, Fu Xizhou's eyes were a little sour, he blinked hard, and then sighed, there is no way, really, no way, maybe Wang Miao will hate himself after tonight , but there is no way, Fu Xizhou would rather Wang Miao hate himself for the rest of his life, would rather let Wang Miao return to the pit of fire, but also keep Wang Miao's life, as long as Wang Miao lives, as long as Wang Miao lives, everything in the future has a chance to turn around.

"Wang Miao, I'm sorry." Fu Xizhou said softly.