After the leader of He Sen

I heard him talk about the past, and I couldn't get back to my senses for a long time. It seemed to rain in my heart, which was heavier than the rain on March 3.

"Are...are you an idiot?" I am also an idiot, "Why didn't you just tell me the reason for breaking up?"

Gong Yoo's eyes were red, as if he was looking at me and the illusory past, "I was very scared at that time."

"What are you afraid of?"

"I'm afraid that you will leave me, and that you will say that you like Gongji."

I haven't been angry for a long time, but now I have a feeling of suffocation because of gas stagnation.

"Didn't I say that what happened when we first met is no longer important? Even if that person was Miyaji, it doesn't matter anymore. The person I liked at that time was always you."

Gong Yoo said in a questioning tone: "Did you really like me at that time?"

Still lost my temper.Although he has been restraining himself, when he heard this sentence, the flames of anger seemed to be poured with oil, igniting his head.

"What do you think is the reason for my anorexia?!" I regretted it when I said it. I told myself that this was my choice and had nothing to do with Gong Yoo, but I still said this redundant sentence.

I thought I had seen it all, I thought I could take all the faults on myself.It seems that I still overestimated myself.

"What do you mean?" He reacted slowly for a few seconds, and then, the expression on his face changed wonderfully, "Is it because of what I said in the classroom that I got anorexia?"

"I still like thinner girls."

I didn't speak.

Knowing that this was the default, he immediately explained in a panic: "I didn't mean that, Lixiang, when I said that, I just wanted to make you angry and beat me up. I never..."

"Do you think I'm the kind of person who would beat you up because of anger?" I asked, "Gong Yoo, in your eyes, would I be the kind of person who would do that?"

He didn't speak, his eyes were like dead lake water, "Is it because of me that I got anorexia? It's because of me that Lixiang has stomach problems, can't she eat a lot?"

"Let's go back, I'm so cold." I gathered my scarf and said calmly.

Gong Yoo walked up to me and squatted down, "I'll carry you on my back."

This time I didn't refuse, I leaned on his back and let him carry me.

"It's so soft." He spoke in a low voice, but his unsteady voice was like a cracked record.

In the eyes of passers-by, we probably look like a sticky couple, only we know that this is probably the last intimate contact in this life.

I don't know whether it was intentional or not, Gong Yoo walked very slowly, like a grandfather.

At that time, I thought I would accompany him to become a grandfather, but later we were absent from each other's life because of a ridiculous misunderstanding.

"Lixiang, is it hard to fall in love with me? I always make you angry and sad."

His voice sounded wrong, like crying.

I didn't point it out, just replied: "Sometimes I'm very angry, but most of the time I'm still very happy. But you should treat others better in the future."

He didn't respond to my words, but instead asked, "Lixiang, how did you get anorexia?"

"Gong Yoo, you don't need to ask, and you don't need to feel..."

"Tell me, I want to hear it."

I said uncomfortably: "Because of excessive dieting."

"A little more detail."

"Only eat two apples a day and drink water."

Gong You walked away in silence for a while, then asked again: "Won't you be hungry like this?"

"Very hungry. My stomach felt like it was burning, and sometimes I would have hallucinations from hunger. When it was the worst, I couldn't walk, and my eyes couldn't see because of a severe lack of nutrition, but I remembered... and I persevered." The important thing is that if you are too hungry, your temper will become irritable.

He deciphered the code of my pause without a teacher, and said sorry again.

"It doesn't matter anymore, don't take those angry words just now to heart."

When he was about to reach the parking lot, Gong Yoo suddenly said: "I will never like others as much as I like you again." The snow under his feet made a creaking sound, and Gong Yoo's tears fell on the snow, and the small tear pit.

When he said this, I suddenly thought that on a sunny afternoon, we were resting on the top floor of the teaching building, and I was lying on his lap, covered with his loose sportswear.He thought I was asleep, kissed me secretly, and smirked.I instinctively pretended to be asleep as if nothing had happened, but his laughter still made me open my eyes.

I saw the warm sunshine and the words "I love you" in his eyes.

There is no sunshine tonight, only the cold moonlight.There are no love words, only bloody dialogues.I said, "The future is so long, who can tell."

"But... the future... the future will not have you." Finally at the parking place, Gong Yoo put me down, and I was startled when I saw his face.

"Why are you crying so ugly?" I took out a tissue and wiped his tears, this was the first time Gong Yoo cried so shamelessly in front of me.

I thought it was because he was handsome that passers-by kept turning their heads so high, but now I think it's because he cries so ugly, right?No wonder those passers-by had weird eyes.

"Lixiang, I'm sorry, I like you, I'm sorry, I did a lot of things wrong at that time, I'm sorry." He cried and said, "You supervise me not to eat, it also makes me sick to my stomach, I can't bear it if I'm alone Live and eat secretly..."

"What are you talking about..." I was both sad and funny.

"I'm sorry, Lixiang, I'm sorry..." He hugged me and cried, as if the only words he could say were "sorry", "How can I compensate you? You can do whatever you want, as long as I can give it to you I'll give it all to you."

It would have been better to say this earlier.

"I don't have anything I want very much." There is no one to worry about, and it doesn't matter if someone tells me that I will die tomorrow.

He choked up and asked, "Can we really not be together again?"

"Yeah." I patted his back, thinking he should grow up too.

Gong Yu returned to Hyogo Prefecture early the next morning, and I didn't even see him face to face.But it's okay if we don't see each other, the current situation of the two of us is not suitable for talking unnecessary words.

I also returned to Yokohama from Miyagi after spending two days carelessly at my aunt's house.I opened the window for the home I hadn’t returned to for a few days and turned on the floor heating after the wind passed. I stood in front of the balcony and looked out at the snow scene through the glass door.Living alone is like this, sometimes I feel lonely, sometimes I feel very good.

At least now, I don't have to find a corner to smoke alone that doesn't affect others. I can be upright, just lean on the sofa at will, and the lighter will be fine.

Although the nicotine content in this brand of cigarettes is very small, it is enough for me. I press hard into the soft pillow, watching the smoke rising slowly, in a daze.

I always feel very tired, physically tired, and mentally tired too, as if a hole has been opened in my heart, and endless exhaustion rushes out from it crazily. I can't tell where this feeling comes from.If you stand still and let this exhaustion run through your body, you will die soon.

Half of me is saying it's okay, and half of me is saying it's not.

I raised my head, "Ah, let's start school, if this continues, I will wither."

As soon as I finished sighing, the notification sound of the mobile phone sounded, chirping~

Thinking about my friends who don't even have the number of hands, this message is most likely a spam message, but when I opened it, I found that I miscalculated, it was from editor Youzi.

"Is there something wrong?" I changed from lying down to sitting down, and clicked on the message.

"Mr. Lily, excuse me. I have a ticket for the aquarium here. I was planning to go to see it tonight, but I can't go because of something. This ticket was bought during the event, so it cannot be refunded. I want to pass this ticket to Lily. Teacher. Is Teacher Lili free tonight? Do you want to watch it? It’s a pity if you don’t watch it qaq”

I came interested: "Available. But the transfer is not very good, how much is the discounted price? I will transfer the money to you."

"However, should I go to the editorial department to get tickets from you?" It was a little far away, and lazy cancer was creeping up.

Yuko: "No, no. This is an electronic ticket, and I can use it directly by giving you the account number and password."

After speaking, she sent me a string of numbers and URLs.

"Just click on this website and enter your account number and password. You can enter the aquarium with an electronic ticket."

I clicked on the website and entered the account number and password as required, and found that the location of the aquarium is not far from home, which is even better.

"Teacher Lily doesn't need to give me money, just take more photos for me. I want to go to the aquarium because I read "Jellyfish" written by the teacher. Maybe this trip to the aquarium will allow the teacher to capture the next Inspiration for this article!"

Having said that, I stopped being polite and promised to take a lot of nice photos for editor Yuko, then changed into casual clothes and left home.

*

Oda Sakunosuke saw her at a glance.

A black coat with gray fluff around the neck looks very warm.The black belt matching the coat cinches the waist tightly, showing a beautiful waistline.The slender fingers were well protected by black leather gloves, and a cigarette was sandwiched between the index and middle fingers of his right hand.

Lixiang Qingzhi wore a pot hat, the brim of the hat slanted downwards covered most of her already small face, and her facial features were also hidden in the shadow cast by the brim of the hat.

Even so, someone accosted her.

She should be used to dealing with such situations, so she dismissed the man who came to ask for contact information in a few words.

Soon, the cigarette in his hand was almost smoked, and from a slightly sideways angle, Kiyoe Rika met Oda Sakunosuke's eyes.

"Mr. Oda?"

She politely called her by her last name. How should I put it, she was used to being called Odasaku by Dazai, and even her colleagues in the detective agency followed suit.Oda was suddenly called, and he was a little bit unresponsive, but he finally answered well: "Hello, Miss Qingzhi."

"Did you come to the aquarium too?" she asked.

The face is really small, Oda Sakunosuke looked at her approaching and thought with a sigh.

"Yes, come with the kids."

"The boy with the curly hair?"

"His name is Shinji, and besides him there is a girl named Saku."

Qingzhi Lixiang looked around, "Where did they go?"

"Go ahead and buy popcorn and Coke."

"It's really a child," Qingzhi Lixiang smiled, showing her teeth like small shells, "Didn't you go in with them?"

"Before there were too many people, I wanted them to go in later, but they were busy looking at the jellyfish so they left first." When Oda Sakunosuke said this, he had tentative thoughts, and half of his eyes were turned to pay attention to Qing Zhi Lixiang's reaction.

Qingzhi Lixiang didn't have any defenses against him, and said thoughtfully: "Why do you like to see jellyfish?" It seemed that people she knew came to the aquarium to see jellyfish.

"The two of them made a fuss about coming to the aquarium because they read a novel called "Jellyfish," pretending to mention it casually, "and said that if the jellyfish turned into humans, they wanted to fall in love with them."

Qingzhi Lixiang's expression froze for a moment, "The author who wrote this article really troubled people."

It worked.It seems that Kiyoe Rika is the Lily that Sakule and Shinji said.

Oda Sakunosuke restrained the corners of his mouth from raising too much, "I think that article is cute."

Lily didn't hide her slightly surprised expression: "Did Mr. Oda watch it too?"

"Ah."

Kind of cute, Oda Sakunosuke thought.I don't know whether this adjective should fall on the "Jellyfish" or on her.

"Is that so." He pulled the brim of his hat, which was already down, uneasily, with nervous body movements, "Is Mr. Oda going in now?"

Oda Sakunosuke glanced at the time, "Almost."

"Together?"

"it is good."

This newly opened aquarium is very large. After entering the venue, the staff sent drawings to both Oda Sakunosuke and Lily, which showed the approximate division of the aquarium.

"Mr. Oda, are you going to find Shinji and Sakule? Or come with me?" Lily looked at the blueprint in her hand, probably thinking about which area to visit first.

Oda Sakunosuke thought for a while, "With you, they should prefer to play alone."

"What would Mr. Oda want to see first?" Lily asked him.

"I can do it, what do you want to see first?"

"Then...how about looking at the dolphins first?" Lily pointed to the area painted in blue on the drawing.

Dolphins are beautiful and smart, and their skin looks slippery and easy to touch. Lily probably thinks the same way from her expression.

"It's a pity, I want to touch it, but it's definitely not possible." Lily glanced at her black-gloved hands, "If they haven't been sterilized, the bacteria on their hands may be fatal to dolphins."

Oda Sakunosuke thought that although real dolphins cannot be touched, toys that look like dolphins can still be touched.

So after the performance, I bought the dolphin peripherals for her. As expected of an aquarium, it really knows how to do business, and the price is twice as expensive as outside.

"Do you want this for me?"

"Well, but it's not as slippery as a dolphin, maybe it doesn't feel very good to the touch, probably because it's hard to make the texture of simulated dolphin skin."

"Pfft—" Lily hugged the dolphin and couldn't help laughing, "Why are you so serious."

The flowers are blooming.The white petals burst open, revealing the red stamen inside.

Oda Sakunosuke was stunned, and then blinked puzzled, "Because he was really thinking seriously and answering seriously."

"Is it okay not to buy it for your child?"

Oops, I forgot Shinji and Sakura when I bought the toy.

"It's okay, if you buy it and take it home, you will probably be laughed at by other children." On the way back, I went to the toy store to see if I could buy toys like bears for them.

"Others? Does Mr. Oda have many children?" Lily asked curiously while holding the blue dolphin doll.

"They are all adopted children. I saw them in danger and couldn't ignore them. I adopted a lot of them without knowing it."

"Really?" What a gentle person.

It's not boasting, it's just that Oda Sakunosuke understood the unspoken subtext.

Later, I went to feed the little penguins with small fish, saw the seals, and finally saw the jellyfish.

Lily put her hand on the glass, staring intently at the opening and closing of the umbrella of the large jellyfish inside. The light inside changed the color of the jellyfish and the water.

The pale green water reflected Lily's face, and she looked as sad as she did in a dream.

Why is it so.

Please do not do this.

The body moved, Oda Sakunosuke grabbed her arm, and even the tongue had its own consciousness: "Don't go there!"

"Ah?" Lili's honey brown deer eyes were full of confusion, "Where are you going? Where?"

Oda Sakunosuke was even more confused: "I don't know either."