Learn to love in seduction

On the night when I got home, my classmate asked me to have a late-night snack at the snack bar we often go to. This classmate was one of the few classmates who knew that I was gay.

"I can't see it, so brave, you made your wife pregnant in just two strokes?" She laughed at him the first time she saw him.

"Don't mention this, I didn't expect it, once it becomes popular, it will be there, and I don't want to get married so early," he said faintly.

"Isn't that great? You see, you've just worked for a year, and you've got a house and a car, and soon you'll have a wife and children. Things that other people can't struggle for most of their lives, you can have in a few clicks." I patted He said with a smile on his shoulder.

"Well, this kind of life that sees life and death in one year is actually very scary. I am only in my 20s, but I can think of my life at 30 or 50 with my eyes closed. What will I look like in the future? I can feel it, there is no rush at all, I don't want to be mediocre like my dad and others for a lifetime, now I regret graduating and going home to work," he said melancholy.

"Then what do you want, you are so busy every day, you don't know where you will be tomorrow?" I refuted him.

"People are cheap. I always feel that other people's lives are wonderful, while my own life is boring. When I see you all working hard outside, I always feel full of vitality and hope. Look at me, don't tell me how old I look. , I am really old in my heart." He was very old when he said this.

I took a serious look at this buddy who has been at the same table with me for 3 years, has a deep relationship, and has accompanied me through the youthful years, and I can't help feeling.After graduating from university, he obeyed the arrangement of his family and returned to his hometown.I live a nine-to-five life in a large state-owned enterprise.After more than a year, he has become tired and old. Long-term drinking and socializing, beer belly, and hair loss have all happened to him early on. At the age of 25, he has entered middle age early.If he had stayed firmly in Beijing, found a subsistence job, lived in a rented house, ate boxed lunches and instant noodles, and spent hours on the road every day, would he have really liked such a life?In fact, everyone is in the siege at any time, always feel that the scenery outside the city is beautiful, we are always nostalgic for those we have lost, coveted those we can not get, and ignore those people and things we already have, until they also lost.

"Don't think about it, everyone has their own life, and there are pains you can't imagine under the glamorous appearance, not to mention that you are going to be a father soon, it will be good to live a good life in the future, we have worked hard Isn’t working and making money just to live comfortably in the future? Now that you are comfortable, don’t just stand and talk without back pain. Thinking about suffering, you have to work hard. There is no such thing as hard work. We have known each other for so many years, who doesn’t know who? , You said which one of us is aiming for a big future? Aren’t we all trying to live a stable life?” I comforted him.

"You will also say, why didn't I see you back?" He put down his chopsticks and stared at me.

"Hehe, I really want to come back, but can I come back? You know, I can't afford to come out to my family. I must be forced to marry and have children within two years after I come back. It's better to kill I" "Then what are you going to do when you graduate?" "I'm going to graduate. I'm preparing for the exam now. If it goes well, I'll leave as soon as I graduate." "You went to find him?"

"No, we broke up. I went abroad for myself, just to go out and have a look," I said very calmly.

"Break up? When did you mention it?" He was surprised.

"It's been almost a year, what can I say, isn't it normal to fall in love and break up?" I said while eating, as if I was telling someone else's story.

"Actually, I sometimes envy you all." "Us? Who am I with?" I looked at him suspiciously.

"It's you, eh, you people," he stammered.

"Don't be this kind of person or that kind of person, just say gay" I interrupted him.

"Don't care what it is, anyway, sometimes I envy you all very much" "What is there to envy us, we are not yet old enough, when we are old and forced to marry, we dare not go home." I suddenly thought of Wang Yunchao.

"I think you are really in love when you are in a relationship. It doesn't matter what the other person's background is. It doesn't matter who you are with this person, how much money you have, or how big a house or car you have. Just because you like it, I always feel that you two This kind of feeling can be called love. Really, I think when you love someone, you don’t even think about the future, you don’t have to think about getting married and having children, as long as you like it now, you will love it desperately, even if you know that there is no future, even if you know Not being blessed by most people, you still love bravely, you may not know what will happen in the future, but at the moment, you must all love very passionately and sincerely," he said in a very serious manner.

"How do I feel, what you said is like how much you don't like your wife," I joked.

"Hehe, let me tell you the truth, I really don't like her much" he said with a wry smile.

"Then you're still married?" I asked him suspiciously.

"Do you think that these married people are desperate for love? Most of them are just make do. Just say me. Not long after I got home to work, my family started urging me to find a girlfriend. I started going on a blind date. I met someone who didn’t hate each other. I started to get along with each other. Then I accidentally got pregnant. The family said that since I’m pregnant, I’ll get married. I’ll get married. Actually, I don’t know her at all, and she certainly doesn’t. I know me, but I feel that the conditions are quite good, and we can make do with each other. Sometimes I think about it and I’m really scared. I’m going to spend my life with her, but I don’t know whether I love her or not. Can you imagine? I don’t even dare to think about it.” He became more and more excited as he spoke.

"It's all over, what's the use of you saying this, but no matter what, you are better than me. You have at least a family, a wife and children, you think we are very free and easy, very brave, but you know, we all It was dancing on the edge of a cliff, looking wonderful, and accidentally smashed to pieces. Unlucky, I went around and didn’t find someone I liked each other, and ended up alone. Even if I found someone I liked, but because of reality, many People have to find someone they don’t love to marry and wear a mask for the rest of their lives. With a little luck, two people like each other, but how long can this love last? No marriage, no family constraints, just one email and one phone call , You broke up when you said you broke up, and you won’t be able to recover quickly. No matter how lucky you are, the two of you will be together for a longer time, but there will be no children and no adjustments. Life will soon become boring, so you will go out to find Other men turn a blind eye to each other and just pass by. The luckiest ones, the two of them will grow old hand in hand, but when they grow old and have no children, there must be one person who has to leave first. Wait until that day, then leave The one who has nothing in this world, not even someone who can take the last journey, you say you don’t dare to think about the future, I really dare not think about the future.” The more I said, the more sad I was, and I was about to cry .

"Don't be like this. I wanted to ask you to come out to comfort me, and I made you cry. When you really have such a day, I will let my son send you off," he said proudly.

When a person finds that he is not the most miserable, he can immediately feel happy. I exchange my future misery for him to go to the wedding happily now. This should be the best wedding gift for him. Thinking of this, I Decided not to include red envelopes on the day of the wedding banquet.

The wedding banquet was very grand and the pomp was great.When I heard him stand on the stage and say loudly into the microphone that I am willing, I don't know why I thought of Wang Yunchao's wedding, and wondered whether Wang Yunchao, like my classmates, did not want to get married but had to get married. I said loudly in front of relatives and friends that I was willing, and I was suddenly very sad, and I shed tears in sadness.

"He got married, why are you crying?" A classmate sitting next to me who was not very familiar with me asked in surprise when he saw my tears.

"His wife is my ex-girlfriend," I replied coldly.