the sun never sets

Jiang Ye:

See the word as the face.

I don't know if this letter can be seen by you. There is a high probability that it will not. This meaningless letter will be taken away by me, so don't worry, it won't burden you.

After leaving you, I fell ill and remained ill for many years.

I often feel powerless. I used to think about you when I missed you very much, but my body and my thoughts were tightly shrouded. I couldn’t speak, and my ears were full of noise. voice, the doctor told me that this is normal.

But I could run across the playground to you before, but now I really don't have the strength to go to you, and I don't have the courage to stand in front of you in this posture.

You shine brightly in my dark life, just like a sudden sun that should not have appeared in my life.

Jiang Ye, it's so dangerous, I almost thought this sun belonged to me.

Fortunately, I can still let go.

Perhaps, as I occasionally think, as I write this letter to you, I never actually let go.

But everything comes to nothing. For me now, many things have lost their meaning.

Suffering is the normal state of life, I don't complain about destiny, but looking back on the past few years, I often feel regretful.

I regret a lot, and sometimes I feel like laughing a little bit, the matter has come to this point, what's the point of thinking more about it.

Am I in trouble?I feel that I am a very troublesome person, living to torture myself and the people around me.

Jiang Ye, I used to suffer from all kinds of emotions in the world and struggled for many years, but now I feel that they are all restrained by myself.

Recently, I often think of what you said to me in the hospital. Under the cover of lies, I don't believe what you said.

Fortunately, I didn't believe it. I have been deceived too much in this relationship, and I became a fool. Unfortunately, fools have their own happiness, and only the sober people will suffer.

My doctor told me that letting go is easy, and I think he's right, I can sit down and write this letter to you now.

My doctor was a wonderful man, and you would think so if you had the chance to meet him.

My grandfather is also very kind to me. I also have a younger brother who is very cute. I think you will also like him very much.

I'm sorry, I can't attend your wedding, my condition is too bad, if you see me at the wedding scene, you will be surprised and say, oh my god, Lin Ji, how did you become like this.

Have I changed a lot? I don’t know. My age is growing inch by inch. I seem to have grown a few years. I dare not look in the mirror. The person in the mirror is too strange. He is terrible. He may not belong to me. Although he is my mirror image, he is just my skin. He is not hysterical at all, which is strange.

I once said that I had enough courage to run towards you, but I never thought that you might not want me by your side. From the very beginning, this sentence was a ridiculous one-man show.

Luckily, I'm okay, I can let it go, and I didn't shed tears for you.

Jiang Ye, I liked you, loved you, I don't regret it, it's me who wants to fly to the flame, it's me who overestimates my capabilities.

It won’t happen in the future, I won’t tell anyone about this past, it will rot in my body, I came to this world once, lived too tired, now I just want to leave cleanly.

Don't worship me, don't remember me, don't think of me.

It doesn't matter if you say I'm cruel, as I wrote above, many things no longer make sense to me.

When I feel bad, I will go to the beach by myself. I have walked along the coastline again and again. The sea is very calm and generous. She is like the land, but not as deep as the land. She is agile and turns out white waves. , tease my feet.

I think that being able to sleep here forever is also considered as falling leaves returning to their roots.

So, when you hear about me again, don’t feel sorry for it. Life is inherently impermanent, and it’s not easy to meet each other. I’ve walked so far, and it’s considered perfect.

Jiang Ye, I am used to deceiving myself, I lied.

I miss you very much, I shed a lot of tears for you, you are still meaningful to me.

Even so, I won't be anymore, I will be completely out of it all, I will be free.

I won't miss you anymore, I won't cry for you anymore.

I hope you will not be bothered by my offense, this is the last time I am rash, let me tell the truth, and later, I will not say it, never say it again.

For the last time, see words as faces.

Jiang Ye, goodbye.

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Dear Lin Ji:

Spread the letter good.

Forgive me for taking so long to find you again and seeing this letter after so many years.

After parting from you, my heart is often covered with haze. Occasionally, I think back to the time when we were not separated. The details are all vivid in my mind. It seems like yesterday, but when I open my eyes, it has been several years.

I don't understand, that day is my birthday, but you want to break up with me suddenly, you were full of admiration and liking for me before, but you made an innocuous joke, I gradually developed some emotions similar to "resentment" towards you, maybe more To be precise, this emotion is closer to "unreconciled". You are too cruel to me, but if you can take pity on me, you will not leave me so resolutely, and you should not bring me joy and give me years of pain.

But I thought again, you are so small and your arms are so small, it is really my fault that I failed to stand in front of you as a safe haven, I can't blame you, it's all my fault.

I finally found you, but I didn't expect you to be so close to me, but you never thought of looking for me. When I saw you again, you were flustered and looked at me like a scourge, so you couldn't avoid it.

Fortunately, I also counted, and I was somewhat prepared. When you talked about your past relationship on social platforms, you were embarrassed and didn’t talk about it. You were forced to say that your ex-boyfriend had passed away.

I think you probably, never want me to be there.

I tried my best, but I only got your indifferent attitude. I tell myself every day that you still love me, but I know that these are just my self-deception, but self-deception also has its own joys. I wait every day. Hope you can smile at me again, hug me again, kiss me again, love me again.

At first, I thought the tattoo of the cross on your back meant "salvation", but the most obvious scar was not covered by the tattoo at all, and the raised and hideous scar was sharply across your back. It was because you knew too late, too late, that you suffered too much.

After reading your letter, I realized that you did not pray for the so-called salvation when you chose this tattoo. You are Jesus who was tortured on the cross. The world brought you a lot of suffering. .

Lin Ji, don't let go.

Lin Ji, actually I am a very lonely person, I need you.

I was too careless, never understood your silent love, I regret it a little, Lin Ji, you should stop thinking about me, and stop crying for me.

I miss you, I cry for you, you are my one and only.

In this world, there are always thorns and thorns, and there is pain when the heart moves. Although all kinds of suffering are caused by love, I am happy with it.

You say that I am your sun, but I am not, Lin Ji, I do not deserve such a title. In my eyes, you are the most shining existence, and you are my sun.

Lin Ji, stay, stay by my side, I came too late before, I don't want to leave you again.

There are thousands of times, love you.