Overwhelm the evildoer

Zhao Hewen sat at his desk in a daze all morning, and it took him several seconds to respond to anyone who spoke to him.

For example: [in the hallway]

Passerby A: "Brother Zhao, happy Mid-Autumn Festival~"

(.0).0. )stare……

Zhao Hewen: "..."

>.
Passerby A: "What, what's the matter...?"

(.0)o0. ) back to God.

Zhao Hewen: "Ah! It's okay, it's okay, happy Mid-Autumn Festival, hahahaha..."

Passerby A: ==b...

Another example, [in the elevator]

Xiaoyi: "Hey, Uncle Miao, you've become more and more handsome recently."

(.0)_0. ) Staring at the elevator door, thinking of a war between heaven and man...

Zhao Hewen: "Well..."

Xiaoyi (closer): "Uncle, we have known each other for so long, so please tell me your unique weight loss secret! I will never spread it to the outside world!!"

(.0)_0. ) Staring at the elevator door, my mind is in dire straits...

Zhao Hewen: "Well..."

Xiaoyi (overjoyed): "Great!! What, what is it?"

(.0)_0. ) Staring at the elevator door, my mind turned upside down...

Zhao Hewen: "Well..."

╰_╯

Xiaoyi: "Don't fool me, tell me quickly how can I lose weight as quickly as you do?"

(.0)_0. ) staring at the elevator door, unconscious in his mind...

Zhao Hewen (unconscious): "Chrysanthemum explosion..."

Little One: =mouth=! ! !

With a sound of 'ding', the elevator door opened, and Zhao Hewen floated outside with the received contract courier, leaving Xiao Xiao, who was still in shock, to watch the elevator door close automatically, and then he was just like that again. Take it back to the first floor...

Therefore, the ambiguous words spoken because of the brain damage at this moment made the birth of the masterpiece "On the Mysterious Uncle Slender Xipi and the Truth About Sudden Thinness", and then a new round of red and black seedlings broke out on the same day, which was unprecedented in history. war.

According to legend, the word "He Miao" covered the sky and covered the sun that day, almost occupying the entire front page, and every post was built very quickly and pinched fiercely.He Miao and the ambiguous CP objects who were pointed out were picked up one after another and rounded in turn, and then the fans showed up enthusiastically, triggering various secondary and tertiary battles.The version attackers smoked buildings, deleted posts, and blocked IPs, making their fingers sore.

At the same time, the voting on who is He Miao's decent attack is in full swing. Chaos and Jiaolong stand out and rank among the best... On the other hand, a lot of high H fleshy and NP novels have also been derived... This makes All the people mentioned were dumbfounded. On the contrary, the three main protagonists, one was reading the article with great interest on the night of the incident, and the other two were fighting internally, so they probably didn't have the time to pay attention.

But this will happen later, let's say that Zhao Hewen has spent the morning in a daze. This morning, the only thing he heard was one sentence-tomorrow is the Mid-Autumn Festival, and the afternoon is off early.

When he just heard the news, Shuijianbao excitedly ran to Zhao Hewen's table and chatted for a long time, and finally distributed a few months of cakes to Zhao Hewen.As for Zhao Hewen, the nature of a foodie still made him instinctively realize that the moon cake in front of him was instinctively greedy and couldn't help but want to eat it, but his mind was still a little dull.

then……

"Brother Miao... This packaging bag is very strong... You can't eat all the mooncakes inside if you bite through the packaging bag..."

(#⊙)﹏⊙#)!

When he got off work at noon, Zhao Hewen immediately wanted to call Xu Keyu.He thought about seeing him earlier, maybe he would know what he was going to say earlier, although he, he did that kind of thing, but Zhao Hewen still felt that he couldn't explain clearly, and his heart was hanging.Besides, Xu Keyu has a criminal record, so he dared to pretend to kiss him in public.No one saw it behind his back, so it's hard to say if he was joking again or something.

(.0ˇ)ˇ0. )╯If he really dares to say that he is joking, I will beat him to death this time! !

However, unexpectedly, Xu Keyu's cell phone was turned off.Zhao Hewen made several phone calls in a row but the phone was turned off, presumably it might be out of battery.Zhao Hewen thought about it, and decided to go find him.Xu Keyu used to come to him often, but he never went to him.It's also time to see what the place where he works is like, and see if there are any delicious things that he hasn't eaten.

Thinking so, he did so, and Zhao Hewen happily boarded the subway with the mooncakes distributed by the company and the decoction package, and went straight to the company where Xu Keyu practiced.

Coincidentally, Zhao Hewen thought he had to find Xu Keyu's company first, and then wait for him there.Unexpectedly, just after getting out of the subway, he looked around and saw Xu Keyu from a distance before he could figure out the direction.

Xu Keyu was walking far ahead, Zhao Hewen just wanted to step closer to call him, but he turned right and turned into a restaurant.

Zhao Hewen's heart moved immediately, and his first feeling was: (#0)v0#) is just right, it's time to eat! !

However, at the next moment, Zhao Hewen saw a long-haired woman in a red trench coat closely following Xu Keyu into the restaurant. Although she was a little far away, Zhao Hewen's eyesight was very good, and he could see clearly. Who was that woman at the train station last time?

Zhao Hewen suddenly felt uncomfortable as if he was choked by a mooncake. Since the day at the train station, Xu Keyu never mentioned the person he was picking up, and Zhao Hewen pretended that he had never seen Xu Keyu at all, let alone seeing him pick up someone. that beauty.

But Zhao Hewen knew that Xu Keyu often received calls from a woman.Usually when other phone calls come in, if they happen to be together, Xu Keyu never shies away from hearing Zhao Hewen.However, this call is different, only this call he has to go back to the room to answer it every time, or in other words, no matter what the circumstances, he must avoid him to answer it.Sometimes, as soon as Zhao Hewen spoke, Xu Keyu would immediately cover his phone, for fear that the people over there would hear it.

It is impossible for Zhao Hewen not to mind such a different phone call. Although he has always refused to admit that he has fallen in love with Xu Keyu, but he can pretend to be nonchalant and deceive Xu Keyu, but it is impossible to deceive his own heart.Every time Xu Keyu avoids him to answer the phone, Zhao Hewen feels as if the air has become thinner.

Occasionally, Xu Keyu was busy in the kitchen and forgot his mobile phone in the living room.When the call came, Zhao Hewen happened to be peeling garlic next to him. He saw that the caller ID was from a person named 'Lv Jiaojiao', and then Zhao Hewen held out a black hand full of garlic smell...

But Zhao Hewen is still an ostrich-tempered person after all, if there may be bad results, then he will definitely not go into it.Pretending that nothing happened, one more day is one day, so he never asked, and even tried not to think about it himself.

Facts have proved that Zhao Hewen has been very successful in this regard.If he hadn't come to Xu Keyu by accident today, if he hadn't seen her by accident, then Zhao Hewen would never have thought of this woman named 'Lu Jiaojiao'.

However, on such an important day, he hadn't heard what Xu Keyu wanted to say to him, and he was still not sure why Xu Keyu wanted to kiss him.At such a time that made Zhao Hewen anxious, when he thought he was going to leave with bright and happy happiness, he suddenly killed this girl Cheng Yaojin.

Zhao Hewen didn't care whether she wanted gold or silver, as long as she didn't come to compete with him for meat.But it seems that with so much gold, gold and silver, people just like Xu Keyu's meat.Since the last time she came here, has she been in Beijing for such a long time, and Xu Keyu has been secretly coming to see her?Then sneakily...? ! = mouth-

Zhao Hewen was a little angry psychologically, last night he ran into his room to eat his tofu, not only kissed him but also touched him, but he didn't know how much tofu he ate in the days when he fell asleep.And early this morning, he blatantly kissed him. After doing this, he secretly had dinner with another woman at noon.

╰皮╯#It’s really unreasonable!

Zhao Hewen took three steps and made two steps to catch up, but stopped abruptly at the entrance of the restaurant.After all, Xu Keyu hadn't said anything to him, and they had nothing to do with each other. It seemed that he had no reason to rush in and question him.

The next moment, when Zhao Hewen looked up and saw what was going on inside, his chest suddenly burst into an unknown fire.For Zhao Hewen, what is the most unbearable thing?

╰(╰blood╯)╯Who will fight me/Xiao Xu, I will fight with you! ! !

The author has something to say:

【The Truth About Appreciating the Moon】

This legend is a mural carved in an unknown cave by an unknown person, and it was not discovered until thousands of years later.Any similarity is purely coincidental.It is also heard that it has completely destroyed the beautiful legends, so be careful when entering.

When it comes to Mid-Autumn Festival, one must think of appreciating the moon, and when it comes to appreciating the moon, one must think of Chang'e on the moon, saying that Chang'e... was originally a man called "Chang Hungry" by the villagers... This man is handsome and the world Wushuang, it's just that he has a problem, that is, he is very edible.Originally, Chang Xing was not very old, but because he was generous and generous, he never cared about all kinds of trivial matters, so those close to him all called him "Uncle Chang".

Cough cough...... Closer to home.

Legend has it that the sun is a divine bird called the Golden Crow. Its feathers are burning with raging fire, which can emit light and heat to illuminate the earth.However, in ancient times, there were ten mischievous suns in the sky. They did not take turns to go to work according to the regulations, but ran out together to scorch the earth, causing rivers to dry up and crops to wither, making it difficult for the people to survive.

All the people: It's too, too hot today...

Often hungry: TAT feels hungry when the weather is hot...

All the people: my crops...

Chang Hungry: QAQ has nothing to eat, so hungry...

People: Help, help...

Often hungry: ~>_<~ still very hungry...

When the common people were suffering, the heaven also felt the suffering in the world, because it sent Hou Yi, a master archer, to shoot down the sun.So Hou Yi descended from the sky on colorful auspicious clouds, and the common people thought that the gods descended from the earth, and they flocked away with tears in their eyes.

All the people: Gods, save the little people...

Often Hungry: QAQ is so hungry, Lord Immortal, please feed! ! !

After being warmly welcomed by everyone, Hou Yi immediately drew his bow and shot down a sun.It was too late to say it, and then it was too late, and everyone was about to cheer, when they suddenly saw a figure rushing towards the place where the sun fell like an arrow from behind...

Hou Yi: Don't go there, it's dangerous! !

Chang Hungry: (#≧)▽≦#) Ahhhhh!baked~little~bird~~~~

All the people: ...

Hou Yi::=口=! !

After the one percent stick of incense...

Uncle Chang: (★罒)﹃罒★) Still, is there any more? !I'm still hungry...

All the people: Uncle ORZ, don't act like this...

Golden Crows: (! 0ˇkouˇ0!)

After Hou Yi was shocked at the beginning, he became very novel.He raised his eyebrows, turned around and drew his bow towards the sky.The Golden Crows looked at Hou Yi and then at Uncle Chang, who was drooling with his head up, and immediately ran away in fright. However, Hou Yi is the best archer in the world. How could the Golden Crows escape? He shot it down, and after Uncle Chang blew cold at an incredible speed on the ground, he quickly ate them all in his stomach.

When there was only the last sun left in the sky, Uncle Chang finally burped his round belly: "I'm so full~~" (#罒)▽罒#)

Hou Yi: Are you full?

Uncle Chang: (#罒)▽罒#) I’m full~~~

Hou Yi: Well, then save this for the next time you are hungry.

Uncle Chang: Hmm~ ok ok ok~

The last golden crow finally survived the catastrophe with its wings and tears in its mouth. In order to save its life, it worked hard from [-] to [-] every day to shine on the earth, so that the animals and plants are endlessly alive. Try to let Uncle Chang Hungry always have something to eat, don't think of poor him. __I'm not a baked bird...

Hou Yi shot down the nine suns and restored the earth to its original state. The people thanked him for his feat and hosted a banquet to entertain him, hoping to repay him.What an upright and upright man Hou Yi is, he only made one request, that is to marry Uncle Chang as his wife...

Uncle Chang was listed as the leader of the world because of his food intake, and Houyi's only request was to "eliminate" the leader of the world for everyone, and the people were moved to tears.As for Uncle Chang... He was sitting next to Hou Yi and struggling to eat a big meal. As a man, he just married like this in a daze.

Afterwards, Uncle Chang found that Hou Yi could always hunt him down with delicious food, so he followed Hou Yi wholeheartedly while chuckling to himself.

Of course, at some point, the sharpshooter or something was overdone, causing Uncle Chang to be in a coma for a few days and nights, and he had to travel long distances to find unusual delicacies to calm Uncle's anger.Therefore, Hou Yi hunted down six evil beasts——Qijiao (big red bull), chiseled teeth (big rabbit with sharp teeth), Jiuying (big nine-headed monster), bird of prey (big peacock), and Ba snake (giant python). , Feng Xi (big wild boar).

For Uncle Chang, that is... (*^)﹃^*) Roast calf, fried rabbit meat, nine-headed monster broth, roasted bird, roasted snake, roasted wild boar...

So it was like this, although Uncle Chang often had PP pain, but he could often eat all kinds of delicacies from mountains and seas, and his life was so leisurely.

One day Uncle Chang was in a coma for a few days and then woke up from hunger. He ran out and found Hou Yi, and there was nothing to eat at home. Uncle Chang only found a few jelly beans in Hou Yi's small box.He figured it was about time for Hou Yi to come back, so he grabbed the jelly beans and decided to wait for him at the door.It happened to be the night of the full moon in August. Uncle Chang suddenly looked up and saw the moon in the sky was round, yellow and orange, like a freshly baked pancake.

(￣)﹃￣) Such a round pancake...Hungry...Yi, when will you come back...

Uncle Chang brought a small stool to lean against the wall and sat at the door, looking up at the pancake and thinking about Hou Yi, he threw the jelly beans he found with great difficulty into his mouth one by one, and chewed them Swallowed down.

Unexpectedly, Uncle Chang, who had just eaten jelly beans, suddenly felt that his waist was no longer sore, his legs were no longer weak, and his PP was no longer painful. His whole body floated lightly and flew towards the moon...

(*≧)▽≦*) You can eat big pie! ! !

It's a pity that Uncle Chang was disappointed. It was not a big cake at all, but an empty palace with only one servant and a rabbit.

Uncle Chang has been waiting for Hou Yi to find him, waiting and waiting, the more he waited, the hungrier he became.There are a lot of food in the Moon Palace, but they are all vegetarian, and even the vegetarian dishes are not as good as Hou Yi's craftsmanship, so Uncle Chang misses the taste of the prey that Hou Yi brought back.In the end, Uncle Chang could only come up with the idea of ​​hugging the fat Moon Rabbit in his arms...

Moon Rabbit is a spiritual creature of heaven and earth, immediately sensed the danger, broke free from Uncle Chang's arms, and rushed into the laurel forest like the wind.Uncle Chang chased the moon rabbit in the woods for a long time but failed to catch the moon rabbit. Angrily, he ordered the servant to cut down all the laurel trees.It's a pity that the laurel tree is also a spiritual tree. If it is cut in half, it will grow back in half quickly.

Uncle Chang has never given up his plan to eat roasted rabbit meat, so Moon Rabbit can only run away with tears in his eyes every day; and because he has never caught Moon Rabbit, Uncle Chang can only hunt around on the moon day after day. moon rabbit...

Every Mid-Autumn Festival, Uncle Chang would squat on the edge of the Moon Palace and look down. When he watched everyone gather to eat moon cakes, he couldn't help but drool and miss Hou Yi.

Chang Hungry: Husband, why haven't you come to pick me up yet. QAQ I'm so hungry...

Extra text: This is a miserable story. This story tells us that as a foodie, we must pay attention to what we eat...

Hou Yi: <(#╰_╯)╯! ! !Can the jelly beans given by Queen Mother Xi be eaten casually! ! !