memory castration

From that day on, I lived with Li Xinlong, and the two occasionally went back to clean grandma's room.

During the winter vacation, we took our dog to fly a kite in the suburbs. The cold winter wind in the wheat field made people unable to keep their eyes open, but the two teenagers were laughing and laughing happily.

"Xiaobai is amazing, he actually caught a rabbit!"

"Hurry up and change your name! How many times have you told me that you can only choose one name between me and it!"

He rubbed his hands twice, breathed white air and brought it to my ear, the black eyes under the long eyelashes were shining, "Then I will call you Dabai from today, just like grandma."

Grandma called me Dabai, and every time I heard her doting voice, I would be very satisfied and happy.As long as I can remember, I know that I am different from others. There are no parents, only my elderly grandma who goes out to set up a stall to sell breakfast.Sometimes it is unavoidable to be curious when I hear the rumors that I was abandoned, but when I see Yang Wenxiong being beaten up by his father and his eyes turn green because of his mother's hunger, I suddenly feel that it is good to not have it.

"Dabai got up, and he will be late for school at night!"

"I passed by the toy store today and bought a transforming iron lump for Dabai. Let's see if I like it or not?"

"Dabai, eat more, don't point your chopsticks at Grandma Yue, the nose will grow on your back..."

……

"Dabai." This time it was Li Xinlong who called me. He smiled triumphantly, showing two rows of white teeth, staring at me and blinking slowly.

"Hey, don't bark, I will treat you as my grandma."

Feelings are indeed a complicated thing. When I hated him before, everything he did was wrong, but now he completely subverts the previous view. No matter how I look at it, I find it extremely cute.

I reached out to touch his curly long eyelashes, and let him lean on my shoulder, sticky like a docile puppy under my feet.

"Longlong, when did you start liking me?"

"Ah?" He showed a shy expression, and whispered: "I don't know, you have been bullying me for the past two years, and every time you do bad things, you become very proud, and you feel very proud."

I was dissatisfied and said, "Is this considered an advantage?"

He held my hand, lowered his eyelids and smiled, "You are also pretty, with red lips."

Red beep?He can really pick adjectives.I brought my mouth closer and teased him, "Here, do you want to kiss?"

He froze for a moment, blushed even more, but pinched my fingers and said solemnly: "I heard from my cousin that two men can get married in Egggarsen. Xiaobai, you will marry me when you grow up." give it to me."

I wondered, "Why didn't you marry me?"

"Because I am taller, my husband is taller than my wife."

"You are taller than me? Ha," I pulled him up unconvinced, "Bibi is optimistic."

We were face to face, nose to nose, and I was really discouraged to find that he was already two fingers taller than me.Why haven't I found out in the past?Or is it because his face is too deceiving?I continued to say stubbornly: "Cut, maybe next year I will surpass you."

He stared at me without saying a word, and slowly leaned forward, spraying his warm breath on my face, and gently pressed his lips against mine.Li Xinlong is a good student. Whether it is study or practice, his talent far surpasses me.We didn't kiss many times in the past, most of them were simple touches, and didn't develop in a deeper direction, but he learned to stick his tongue in, stir and suck without a teacher.

"Xiaobai, I had a dream about you last night."

"What dream?"

"We didn't have any clothes on, hugging each other..."

"Stop!" I pinched his face, "Don't have these messy pornographic dreams in the future."

He puffed up his face, showing a childish expression, "But we were all happy in the dream, and I want to try it with Xiaobai too..."

I simply refused, "We haven't grown up yet, let's talk about it when you become an adult."

"Wouldn't it be another three years... What if Xiaobai falls in love with someone else?"

"I can't tell, you really think too much! Don't worry, I won't like others."

He was still uneasy, "What if that person is better than me in everything?"

"Who are you talking about?" People who are better than him in everything will come to like me?

He tentatively said, "For example, my cousin..."

I asked suspiciously: "Longlong, do you know something?" Otherwise, why would you suddenly mention Xiao Ziqi for no reason?

Under my questioning eyes, he finally hesitated and said: "My cousin should like you very much, although I don't know why, but I can feel from his eyes that he is better than anything..."

"No matter how nice he is, it doesn't matter to me. I only like you." I put his cold hand in my arms, "Go home."

In the sunset, we walked slowly close together, as intimate as conjoined twins.

The withered and yellow leaves under the feet are constantly rolling on the green waves of the wheat field, just like our short-lived happy youth, which disappears in a blink of an eye.

It was already past [-]:[-] pm when I got back to Li Xinlong's house, it was dark early in winter, and the surrounding area was silent.

A car with a cold light was parked at the door, and I didn't know how long I had been waiting.

The car window was half open, and the people inside were quietly watching us through the glass. I stopped near the car and woke up the confused guy behind me, "Longlong, wake up."

"Huh? We're home." He moved his face away from my back, jumped off the bicycle after seeing the car and the people inside, and grabbed me stiffly to greet the visitor, "Cousin, why are you here?" ?”

Xiao Ziqi opened the car door, the corners of his mouth slightly raised, "Uncle asked me to take you back to Jiangcheng."

Li Xinlong was stunned, "My family is here, what are you going to do in Jiangcheng?"

Xiao Ziqi

He took out his mobile phone from his pocket, "If you don't believe me, you can call and ask. Don't worry about the transfer procedures. I've already talked to your principal, and the file will be automatically transferred after school starts."

Li Xinlong didn't go to pick it up, but looked at him for a moment, sparks almost collided in the dry and cold air.

"I dont go."

"Why? Give me a reason not to go."

Li Xinlong grabbed my hand tightly, "There is no reason, I like Ninghai, and I don't want to go anywhere else."

Xiao Ziqi glanced at me, then moved away as if nothing had happened, "But... your parents have decided to sell this place, and someone will come to see the house tomorrow."

fuck it!What kind of shit parents are these?Even if it's not your own, you don't have to treat it so cruelly, right?Compared to my anger, Li Xinlong was much calmer, he twitched the corner of his mouth, "Whatever, at worst, I'll move out tomorrow."

Xiao Ziqi asked seriously, "Where are you moving?"

I couldn't help saying loudly: "Longlong lives with me!"

Xiao Ziqi flipped the phone around twice, showing a contemptuous and mocking smile, "If I remember correctly, all the old houses in Xinyi District will be demolished in March next year."

"Remove... get rid of it?"

"Don't believe me? You can call the demolition office and ask. The approval document should have come down."

The old elm tree that grew up with me in the yard, and the fond memories of my grandma... For a while, I just felt stares in my eyes and dry mouth.

"Stop talking nonsense!" Li Xinlong yelled at him, completely different from the gentle young man I knew.

Xiao Ziqi seemed very proud of hitting our pain point, and closed the car door with a smile, "Don't you want to invite me in?"

A few minutes later, the three of us sat in the living room. After turning on the air conditioner, it slowly warmed up. Li Xinlong poured two cups of hot water and sat down next to me.

Xiao Ziqi on the opposite side looked at us calmly, but his eyes revealed cunning and calculating.

"Cousin, I don't want to go to Jiangcheng." Li Xinlong begged in a low voice, his black eyes were full of hurt and hesitation, "I don't know that place at all."

Xiao Ziqi patted him gently on the shoulder, "It's okay, just stay a few more days and you'll get acquainted, not to mention that uncles and aunts are all in Jiangcheng, it will be more convenient for them to take care of you in the future. Now that you have grown up, you should learn to adapt to the environment , rather than allowing the environment to change to suit you."

The hateful hypocrite!At this time, the person who pretended to be a dog looked like an elder brother, and he didn't know who was insulting Longlong by the river!

After Xiao Ziqi met my eyes, his smile became more dazzling, and he said calmly: "Although the rhythm of Jiangcheng is faster than here, the living standard and opportunities are much higher than here. How can you be the first in the school in Ninghai?" With such grades, Jiangcheng No. [-] Middle School can even enter the top ten. Nowadays, competition is everywhere. If you are like this, even if you can be admitted to a first-class university, you will still be a wage earner under someone else after seven years. Every day from nine to five Keeping a fixed salary, is this the life you want?"

A soldier who doesn't want to be a general is not a good soldier, and a man without ambition is not a good man either.Although Xiao Ziqi is hateful, his words make sense. I know he is weaving a trap, but I can't refute it with words.

Seeing our silence, he continued to lobby, "Xinlong, you are still young and don't understand the fickleness of people's hearts. In this materialistic society, money usually means everything: a high-quality life, a beautiful lover, All the things that the poor can't dream of. As the saying goes, poor and lowly couples are in trouble. If a man delays his career because of the ridiculous relationship in front of him, even the happiness that you think is already in your hands will disappear when your life is down. Fly away... In this world, there is no one who cannot be seduced, the key depends on whether the chips in your hand are strong enough, right?"

After finishing speaking, he took out a few banknotes from his pocket, "You and this classmate haven't eaten yet, have you? Go and buy some vegetables to bring back for dinner."

Li Xinlong stood up, "I have money, Xiaobai...what do you want to eat?"

My heart was in a mess, and I said indifferently: "Anything, anything is fine."

He forced a smile at me, "Then sit and chat with your cousin for a while, and I'll go buy something to eat."

After Longlong left, I didn't want to be with Xiao Ziqi, but when I was about to get up, he grabbed his arm and I immediately waved him away, "Don't touch me."

He leaned lazily on the sofa, "That old house of yours is going to be demolished. It's none of my business. Don't take your anger out on me. Urban renovation is the general trend, and no one can stop it."

I fell back to the sofa weakly, grabbed the cold water and drank it in one gulp, "Are you determined to take him away this time?"

Xiao Ziqi said: "This is what his parents mean, I'm just passing on a message while I'm bored."

"Why did they ignore Longlong before, but why did they want him to go to Jiangcheng at this time?"

"Would you believe me if I said it was a sudden conscience discovery for a parent?"

"Fart them!" A pair of infertile parents adopted a child from a distant relative. I don't come back to visit once a year.Will such parents find out with conscience?No ghost will believe it!

Xiao Ziqi laughed, "I don't believe it either. The truth is that my grandfather is seriously ill, and the three children started to compete for the family property. Your family's Longlong has become an extra bargaining chip."

A group of beasts in gorgeous clothes, what are they when they are dragons?What if we fight for more property?At that time, won't Longlong be brutally kicked away?If my parents were like that too, I'd rather choose not to!

"You don't need to be angry," Xiao Ziqi said lightly, "Even if something happens in the future, he is still a descendant of the Xiao family on the surface, and no matter what happens, he will not end up living on the streets. Such an opportunity, others would never dream of envy."

"Cut," I sneered, "if there are too many dragons, you will lose a share of the pie. Are you upset?"

Xiao Ziqi said: "I don't care about his share, what's more...it's just that it's not forever. As long as I want, I can take it back anytime in a fair and honest manner."

In the eyes of this kind of person, there will never be so-called family affection, right?But they don't need it, and money can make up for everything they lack.

He seemed to see through my thoughts, just smiled and did not defend himself, "What I said half a year ago still counts. If you go to Jiangcheng together, I will pay for the expenses in the future."

I glanced at him, "I won't leave Ninghai."

"What if Li Xinlong goes?"

"He won't go, I will tell him what the couple intends."

He raised his eyebrows noncommittal, "Sure enough, he's still a child."

I held back my anger, "What do you mean?"

Xiao Ziqi said: "You said you liked Li Xinlong, but do you really know my cousin? Growing up in Xiao's family, how could he be pure? Although the Xiao family didn't take him seriously, those family properties are shining brightly. Even if he knows it's a mirage, he will give it a try."

"Stop sowing discord!"

"I'm just explaining. I don't believe we can make a bet? I bet he knows the truth, and he will leave you and follow me."

"What do you want to bet on?"

"Take off your clothes and let me have a thorough look."

"Your mother..."

He gracefully raised his hand to stop me from cursing, "I'm just watching, I won't mess around, you won't lose anything. If I lose, I'll run naked by the river, do you dare to bet?"

"It's a bet." I gritted my teeth and said, although I didn't want to witness his naked body, I was happy to see him humiliated.What's more, I don't believe Longlong would be so stupid.