Plane Judge

Seraphim frowned and glanced at Chu Shouren, and asked, "Why have your tentacles been broken in the past few days? What happened?"

Chu Shouren looked at Seraph sadly, and after a while, he asked cautiously, "Can you...can you help me get a handful of Mian Mian's sperm?"

The seraphim was about to draw his sword, intending to burn these evil bugs with holy light, Chu Shouren hurriedly explained: "Actually, you don't know, I came to Earth just to encourage, I heard that he is the number one beauty in the universe, and I also spent a lot of money to collect most of his photos, and I later found out that these photos are all fake... Have you heard that the more you invest, the deeper you sink, and I have no other ideas, this The horrible earth plane has made my head go muddy. I just want some real Jia Mian's sperm, and stop being like those sunflowers at the door! By the way, who broke those sunflowers?"

The Seraphim's voice was indifferent, with a trace of cruelty: "I did it!"

Chu Shouren: "Can you help me replant the sunflowers? That's my only sustenance after I came to the earth."

Seraphim: "What's the matter with your tentacles?"

When Jia Mian went to work that day, Hong Bao came to report his latest situation to Jia Mian sadly.

Hong Bao was forced by his father to go on a blind date. The woman’s family conditions are quite good. Her father is a government official, her mother is a deputy to the National People’s Congress, and the girl herself is a teacher. According to legend, she is fair and beautiful, with a gentle personality. She will definitely be a good wife and mother .

Jia Mian said: "A Bao, I really think...you can try dating a normal girl!"

Hong Bao shook his head firmly: "No, in my opinion, only Corrigan is the most perfect partner! In terms of family power, who can compare to the queen herself? In terms of appearance, it is obvious that my roots are number one in the world Big beauty, hot and sexy beauty, do you understand beauty? Moreover, she also said that she would have a baby with me...Think about it, a group of children from me and Gengen hug my legs and call them daddy, how happy they are... "

Jia Mian kindly reminded: "Thousands of children, are you sure you don't have trypophobia? Besides, it is very expensive to raise a child now. Although you have money, thousands of children will put you Eat the poor, and... are you sure they won't look different? For the sake of the next generation, really give up!"

Hong Bao was a little dejected, but he still firmly believed that Corrigan was his dream lover. In addition, she had beautiful, elegant, soft and resilient tentacles that made him obsessed.

Jia Mian persuaded sincerely: "I think it's better for you to wield your sword to cut the thread of love. It's impossible for your father to agree with you to marry a bug that looks like an octopus home."

Hong Bao heard Jia Mian commenting on his sweetheart like this, and said angrily: "It's fine if others don't understand, you are not allowed to say that about her!"

Jia Mian could only keep his mouth shut, Hong Bao gritted for a while, and then said: "Can you take me to meet her secretly, I haven't seen her these days, I really miss her..."

Jia Mian looked at Hong Bao with eager eyes, and took out a CD from the drawer. The name of the CD was "Heart of the Swarm".

Jia Mian said: "You know, with the seraphim here, I dare not take anyone home casually. I really can't play this game to quench my thirst. The heroine is the Zerg queen, and her name is Kerrigan..."

Hong Bao was caught in the Brood War of "StarCraft II" all afternoon, constantly brushing the Zerg Queen to relieve his lovesickness.

When he got off work, Hong Bao finally saw the true face of the queen in the game. He was a little disappointed, thinking that his own queen was the prettiest.He raised his eyes sadly, looked downstairs through the window, and saw the elegant and noble Archangel Seraphim standing downstairs.

Hong Bao began to hum: "Angel, you really don't understand love, and then he remembered that angels have no gender, and Seraphs are balls of light, so he hummed harder.

Seraphim has been standing downstairs waiting for Jia Mian until after get off work, when Jia Mian walked out of the building, he saw the man standing in the sunset.

The archangel looked as calm and indifferent as before, and there was something called faith flickering in his eyes.

Jia Mian saw that the archangel actually stepped forward to talk to his chief, so he quickly stepped forward and greeted Seraphim: "Why are you here?"

Jia Mian was really worried that the Seraphim would do something inappropriate here, but his worry was completely superfluous. Director Feng turned to look at Jia Mian and said, "You're a pretty good friend. You need to associate more with this kind of person. Don't hang out with some unreliable painters all day long."

After Jia Mian expressed his gratitude to the director for his concern, he dragged Seraphim away.Seraphim did not go straight home, but said to Jia Mian after walking a certain distance, "It's been a long time since I came to Earth, and I haven't had dinner with you alone. I'll treat you to whatever you want."

Jia Mian couldn't figure out what happened to this archangel today, but three words popped out of his head uncontrollably - fat sausage powder.

When Jia Mian was a child, he was sweating profusely while eating hot and sour rice rolls next to a fly restaurant. Seraphim just looked at Jia Mian with a trace of dissatisfaction in his eyes.

After Jia Mian had eaten and drank enough, Seraphim said, "I have something very important to tell you!"

Jia Mian nodded: "You needn't say it, I shouldn't have run away from home yesterday, I'll go back tonight and try to see if I can break through the barrier, and read "The Law of the Plane" with a photographic memory."

Seraphim glanced at the grease on Jia Mian's lips with some disgust, handed him a white handkerchief, and motioned for Jia Mian to wipe his mouth clean and speak.

Seeing that Seraph's handkerchief was neat and clean, Jia Mian was a little embarrassed to use it, so he took a piece of toilet paper and wiped it clean.

The two walked slowly towards the warehouse on the road as the sun was setting.

To Jia Mian's surprise, all the sunflowers that had been eradicated by the seraphim outside the warehouse had returned to their original state, and they were blooming more brilliantly, facing the sun and dancing against the wind.

Jia Mian felt that today's Seraph was a little different, but he couldn't tell what was the difference. The Seraph didn't say a word, which made Jia Mian feel uncomfortable.

When he was about to arrive at the warehouse, the Seraphim finally spoke: "Jia Mian, did you spend the night in the room of the war criminal dragon?"

Jia Mian was taken aback, and then admitted: "I have no place to sleep, it's too cold outside, and the two bugs have a strong taste, so I went there."

The Seraphim frowned, and after a while he said, "Then, last night, something happened between you and that dragon that shouldn't have happened?"

Jia Mian didn't know what should not happen. He didn't know how to answer, but he heard Seraph's tone harsh: "You are a human being, and the dragon race is a despicable and lowly race. You'd better figure it out and don't fall into the trap of a dragon." mating!"

Jia Mian's face turned red, and he said angrily, "What nonsense are you talking about! Besides, what about archangels, it's true that they are very noble, but you don't have the right to wantonly slander other races like this!"

The Seraphim smiled lightly and said, "Heh, human beings really think with their lower body. You shouldn't have such thoughts."

Jia Mian felt very angry in his heart. He had long been displeased with Seraphim's aloofness and contempt for everyone. Jia Mian said, "What do I think, what does it have to do with you? You care too much, don't you?" !"

Seraphim raised his eyebrows, glanced at Jia Mian, and said with sarcasm in his voice, "Just a kiss can make you, a candidate for judge, like this? Why are you arguing with me because of a war criminal?"

Jia Mian really wanted to grab the Seraph and beat him up, but his strength was inferior to others, and he didn't dare to attract the Seraph to attack the Holy Light Cross in the suburbs, so he could only endure it.

The seraphim shook his head and said, "You have fallen, human beings, who used to be the people of God, but now such a lowly demon can seduce you!"

Jia Mian said angrily: "You are sober! Look around! This is no longer medieval Europe, freedom of belief!"

While talking, the two had already walked to the warehouse. Jia Mian really didn't want to go in and live in the same room with the angel, so he walked around the outer wall of the warehouse.

After taking two steps, the Seraphim suddenly reached out and pressed Jia Mian against the wall.

Seraph's eyes looked directly at Jia Mian's, and something was flowing in the other's amber eyes, which made Jia Mian feel guilty for no reason.

The seraphim raised his chin slightly, and said, "Isn't it just a kiss? I hope to save your soul that is about to fall!"

Jia Mian snorted with his nose, and Seraph pressed Jia Mian's arm against the wall, then lowered his head slightly, and touched Jia Mian's with his own lips. Lips touch.

Jia Mian was very annoyed, as soon as he struggled, the Seraph let him go.

Seraphim stared into Jia Mian's eyes and said, "Having experienced the angel's holy and purifying kiss, you should know that those low-level species don't know what love is at all!"

Jia Mian scolded him, the first swear word that contained emotion in his life: "Go to hell!"

Seraphim didn't roll away, he just looked at Jia Mian and said, "I hope this kiss can save your soul! You go back and think about it, I hope you can pass the test of the plane judge as soon as possible! You have let me down Many times, I don't want to come to Earth just to watch a fool fall."

Jia Mian glared at the Seraph, threw off the Seraph and went into the room by himself, sitting in front of his desk very angrily, intending to smash the Seraph to death with a tablet computer.

The Seraphim was outside the warehouse, with his hands in his pockets, and walked around silently. For the first time, he felt a sense of frustration in his heart. He couldn't compete with a prisoner. This was such a failure.

However, this sense of failure reached its peak when he visited Yinhui's cell.

The other prisoners were very honest, but Yinhui saw the seraphim coming, opened his door and said, "Poor archangel, come in and talk!"

Seraphim said, "I have nothing to talk to you about!"

Yin Hui snorted: "Yo, who just kissed someone confidently and got hit?"

The seraphim said: "Pay attention to your words and deeds! What do pagans know? You have betrayed God and should be punished by God!"

Yin Hui said: "The archangel actually expects to exchange his pure and holy kiss for a human being, you are stupid!"

Seraphim was in a bad mood, he kicked Yinhui once: "You are an orc QJ criminal, what do you know!"

Yinhui retorted: "You are just a ball of light, you don't even have a gender, and you don't understand anything!"

Seraphim was completely irritated by Yinhui. He wanted to split Yinhui into two pieces with a sword, but finally held back. He said, "What about you? A QJ criminal who doesn't even have genitals, do you know a lot?"

This sentence stabbed Yinhui's heart, Yinhui looked at the sky sadly, and the sunset in the sky gradually fell.

Yinhui left Seraphim a back view, and then said meaningfully: "You know? In the past few days of my thinking and research, I have wondered, why is that luminous star QJ! Even the light cluster with a temperature of hundreds of billions of degrees You must be conquered by me, you light group without the slightest depth, if you wantonly insult me ​​again, I will let you know the feasibility of QJ light group technology!"

Seraphim kicked Yinhui, and facing the angry archangel, Yinhui immediately showed his housekeeping skills instinctively. He turned into a hairless cat with his belly up and his limbs retracted: "Ah, ah, ah! ...I'm very good...don't kill me..."

Seraphim looked at Yinhui with contempt, and said mercilessly: "I'll tell you a secret, I hate cats the most, especially... a hairless pagan cat!"

The Seraphim's words broke Yin Hui's heart again, Yin Hui immediately jumped up from the ground and said: "Just wait, Seraph, if I don't avenge this revenge, I will be a great orc!"

The Seraphim turned around and left with a sneer: "It's just a prisoner exiled to the earth. From now on, your food and water will be gone!"

Yinhui was stunned, and then he let out a heartbreaking moan, and then began to look through his Buddhist dictionary, study the flower world, trying to find water and food in another world.

When the two religious sects, Seraphim and Yinhui, were in fierce conflict, Jia Mian was sitting blankly in front of his tablet computer. He was actually kissed by two different people within one day!

When thinking of this, Jia Mian felt a little messy, and he couldn't help but hate the Seraphim a little more.But then he remembered that kiss full of passion and love in the dark night yesterday. Jia Mian felt that he was in a very bad state. He tried his best to throw all this out of his head and began to read seriously. .

Strange to say, when he threw away all his thoughts, he found that his reading speed suddenly increased. As long as he glanced at the entire page, he could understand what was said on it, and After turning over a dozen pages, he could still clearly remember the contents of the first page.

When Seraphim entered the room, what he saw was such a scene. Jia Mian, who was still depressed the day before, was refreshed at this moment. He kept clicking on the tablet computer. Every time he clicked, The book on the tablet will be reversed by one page, and he has already clicked it two or three times in just one second.

A satisfied smile appeared on Seraphim's face. He didn't interrupt Jia Mian's reading, but just watched quietly from the side.

After Jia Mian felt that his fingers were a little sore, he turned around and saw Seraphim standing at the door, looking at him with his arms folded.

Jia Mian was still very dissatisfied with the Seraphim. He said, "You're here? Then I'm going to work in the bureau."

After finishing these words, he suddenly realized that it was dawn!

Seraphim said: "It seems that you have been inspired by me and have broken through the intellectual barrier."

Jia Mian ignored the Seraph, put on his coat, and walked out of the room with his tablet. At the door, the Seraph said: "I must remind you of one thing, that Zerg prisoner has been coveting you I hope you can cleanse yourself and don't do any inappropriate behavior, you'd better not make children with those prisoners."

Jia Mian didn't turn his head back: "Archangel, you are worrying too much. I also advise you to go out and see more, and don't show up at every turn. Ordinary people today are no more than thousands of years ago. The Chinese Academy of Sciences is a terrible place."

When he went to work that day, Jia Mian's condition also became better than ever. He didn't sleep last night, but he didn't feel tired at all. During the day, he quickly finished his work, and he was able to find time to read.

While reading the book, he thought of what Dagger Po Ye said: "The intermediate gene pill is developed to change people's spirit and intelligence, you can definitely do it!"

Jia Mian really wanted to tell Dagger the good news, so when he got off work, he went home without any delay.

When he came outside the warehouse, he was surprised to find something. The four prisoners took out seraphs, all of them were outside the warehouse. Location.

Before Jia Mian walked in, he could hear the conversation of the four prisoners:

"is yours?"

"not mine!"

"That's yours?"

"Less likely!"

"That must be yours!"

"I'm not there yet!"

"Then it's the illegitimate child of the watchman and someone else!"

When Jia Mian heard the last sentence, his body shook. He quickly ran towards the place surrounded by several prisoners. Then, he saw several prisoners get out of the way. In the middle, there is a little boy biting a lollipop.

The little boy had a plump face, but his clothes were ragged, his eyes were bright, and when he saw Jia Mian coming, he ran towards Jia Mian, hugged Jia Mian's thigh, and cried out a shocking cry Words: "Dad, you are finally back!"

Jia Mian immediately became petrified. He seriously recalled his experiences from childhood to adulthood. Except when he was in elementary school, he had a crush on the girl in the front row and tied her braid into a dead knot. He has never had any sex with any woman. any intimate contact.

After a few prisoners arrived on Earth, he gave up even handjobs, because he was afraid that some crazy guy would steal his sperm.Even the underwear of the nocturnal emission was cleaned up in time, and nothing was left behind.

So, why does this kid with a lollipop hug his thigh and call him daddy?

Jia Mian pondered in his heart: I didn't intend to run for the chairman of the country, so it didn't make sense to start the drama of "running for the governor" now!

The child was still pulling on Jia Mian's trousers, and wiped his dirty hands vigorously on Jia Mian's body, drooling and saying, "Dad, no one wants me anymore, you have to raise me...you can't abandon me I……"

Jia Mian pulled the child away with some difficulty, and asked, "I think, did you recognize the wrong person?"

The child shook his head vigorously: "No, no, your name is Jia Mian, then I am not mistaken, you are my father."

Jia Mian felt a little dark in front of his eyes, and he looked at Chu Shouren suspiciously, Chu Shouren said: "I would never want such an ugly child! And...the ones I bought at a high price are all those sunflowers Seed……"

Dagger's expression looked a little melancholy, he glanced at Jia Mian, and sighed in a low voice: "You have even grown up as a son, who is his other father? Is it this bird man?!"

The Seraphim snorted coldly, and said, "Jia Mian, I warned you in the morning, but it turned out to be like this in the afternoon! You are blaspheming God."

Jia Mian took a deep breath: "Little friend, you...don't be too busy to recognize Dad, what's your name?"

The kid blinked his big watery eyes, sniffled his nose, and said, "My name is Chongsheng. From now on, my surname will be Jia!"

Dagger and Seraph were completely angry, and after Chu Shouren saw Chong Sheng, he was very worried about whether the queen could raise a child who looked like him. Only Yin Hui looked at the sunset in the sky and thought about how to Revenge on the Seraphim question.

Dagger Po Ye was the first to roar: "Mian Mian, you lied to me! Didn't you say you don't even have a girlfriend!"

The Seraphim simply turned his head and entered the room, but at this moment, Corrigan, who had been basking in the sun, suddenly let out a scream: "Ah... no... I can't... I... seem to be giving birth..."

All focus then immediately shifted to Corrigan.

Jia Mian saw that the queen's belly began to grow at a speed visible to the naked eye, and the Seraphim also came out of the room, frowning and saying, "What's wrong, whose child is she going to have?!"

Corrigan began to roll on the ground in human form, her stomach swelled rapidly, but she was still able to speak: "After coming to Earth, there will only be that great artist...I...I want to see his father..."

Jia Mian felt that Corrigan's top priority now was to get rid of Corrigan, but she looked very painful and terrifying. It was obviously impossible to send her to the hospital at this time, so he could only turn his head to Chu Shouren.

Chu Shouren was also in a hurry. He took off his shoes and tried to use his tentacles to help the queen who was rolling on the ground, but he failed.

Jia Mian said: "Every time the Zerg gives birth, it is so difficult? Shouldn't it be very simple?"

Chu Shouren was also very anxious: "How is it possible, every time the queen gets better soon, this is probably because she is on the earth plane with the earthlings... She looks like she is about to die, Xiao Gen, you How's it going? Xiaogen!!"

Jia Mian pondered for a while, and said, "Forget about this, let's get her back to the room first."

Although Jia Mian said so, he didn't dare to step forward to do something. Chu Shouren and Dagger Poye carried the queen back to the room, while Chong Sheng still held Jia Mian's trousers: "Father, don't worry about the Zerg business!" , Let’s discuss the living expenses, alimony and pocket money you gave me first.”

Jia Mian could only let Chongsheng pull his trousers, and said to Seraphim: "I think, in this situation, should we call the person involved? After all..."

Seraphim looked at Chongsheng, he didn't answer Jia Mian's question for the first time.

Jia Mian directly called Hong Bao: "Hey, come here quickly!"

"This... I... am being dragged by my dad to a blind date. The parents of both parties are here. The other party has even dispatched an 80-year-old grandmother. There will be three interrogations. I can't go..."

"Dear Xiangmao, your children are coming out soon!"

"what!!"

"Corrigan is pregnant and looks like she's about to give birth, she said you did it!"