As a background board, I want to pursue Dazai

The rain has already started to fall outside the window, and the raindrops hit the grass and made a rustling sound, which soon became a rhythmic sound. After getting used to the sound, I also devoted my energy to writing .

I think, first of all, I have to write a decent beginning, or the contradiction and the core of the whole text, and it would be best if I can summarize it in one sentence, so I wrote down——

[Baozhizi is the son of a prostitute. 】

【She was born unable to see, and relied on her mother to take care of her every day, so she was barely ten years old.If it weren't for her blindness, she would be able to see her own facial features exactly like her mother's in the mirror.It stands to reason that if there is a child with her birth defects in the village, even if the adults are hypocritical, they can squeeze out some sympathy for her, but Zhizi has never received care from the villagers.This is easy to understand. After all, from the perspective of people in the closed area, she has a biological mother who corrupted customs. Half of her blood and bones come from her mother. The villagers naturally think that she has inherited this uncleanness fundamentally.

Mother's Day was originally a girl from this village, but after being sold to that kind of place, she unexpectedly came back, and Bao Zhizi, who was still a baby at that time, came back with her.Seeing that the shriveled and skinny Katsuko was still a beautiful woman, but her husband was nowhere to be seen, he asked her privately who she was, and each time Kyoko would answer her with a shy smile. someone asked.Because women hated her delicate skin, which was different from their weathered and sunburnt skin, she laughed, and they made a fuss about it, thinking that this kind of smile was a model of lust and obscenity.At the same time, they don't allow men to look at her, and they don't allow men to repeatedly ask her embarrassing questions just to get Setsuko's smile. 】

A young single mother raised her daughter, and gave birth to my daughter. The village I described was set up by me as an extremely feudal folk style, and Jiezi, who was incompatible with the general environment, would naturally be treated as a different kind by everyone.

...But, compared to the most direct description of how she does physical work, how to farm and weave, I think it is more tortured by gossip and glaring eyes, especially for Setsuko who has been a prostitute and is experienced in observing words and expressions. It must be uncomfortable to live on the eyes of the villagers.

"However, the constant blows and sarcasm may become numb after a long time." I stopped writing and murmured.

At this time, there is a need for someone who can break the status quo and express the anger that Setsuko wants to vent.

This person can be noble or not.

...wouldn't Setsuko's tragedy be heightened if this person came forward out of vanity and said something that didn't hurt his back?

I continue to write.

[As if to sing against the depressing and old-fashioned atmosphere in the village, a man named Ashin reprimanded them for being narrow-minded.Ashin has been educated, and in a small village with a low overall education level, he has some inexplicable prestige.As soon as he disturbed her without fear of anything, everyone simply avoided the knot and stopped staring at her every word and deed day and night.

Ashin later left.And Setsuko worked alone day after day, raising her only daughter.Although the villagers are not warm to her, Setsuko is still kind. If someone entrusts her to help, she will be happy to do good.

"I'm doing it to accumulate virtue." She hugged Bao Zhizi and told her, "In this way, I can protect you even after I'm in hell."

Her efforts were at least not in vain. As time passed, the crow's feet in the corners of Setsuko's eyes deepened, and Rou Yi's slender hands grew calluses due to work. The villagers said that the "dusty air" on her body had faded a lot. , and treated her kindly.

"Baozhizi," she told her daughter, "You can't see things, it's God's punishment—you were born to atone for your sins, you have to do more good deeds."

In Baozhizi's world without light, her mother's words are an irresistible oracle. 】

My mother is great, but my mother is also ignorant. There are no real literati and scholars among the three religions and nine streams she met. Everyone is waving the same banner. The banner of self-righteous belief she took from others is actually It is a defective product that has been broken long ago.

Bao Zhizi is gone forever in the wrong education.

...Will it be too jerky to write like this?

Forget it, let’s make it like this first, and then change it after writing the whole article.

【This year, the village was hit by a plague. Fortunately, both mother and daughter were infected with the disease.But when Jiezi went up the mountain to collect herbs, he accidentally rolled down the slope, broke his neck, and died on the spot. Baozhizi became a real orphan.

Ashin's leg was broken because of the theft, and he went back to the village in a state of embarrassment.All the money on his body has been squandered long ago, and the rest of the dime is also used to see a doctor. Despised by vulgar villagers.

So he found a charlatan, who said he was a mage, and the disease in the village had been bad for a long time, but there was a god who punished him.

The mage thought that he could get the money just by performing some rituals, but he didn't expect the villagers to tie Bao Zhizi away.

"If you want to say filth, it must be the filth of this little blind man, passed down from her mother's line."

The mage was just a charlatan who became a monk on the way, never seen a basket filled with human life.He saw that Bao Zhizi was born pitifully and blind, and now he was trapped by the furious villagers with hemp rope, and his neck and arms were covered with red marks.Immediately I couldn't bear it, so I made up a new set of rhetoric.

"What kind of filth is this girl? She was born unable to see because her body is too holy to look directly at the foul air in the world." After he finished speaking, he bowed his head and said a merciful word, not looking at the expressions of the villagers .

The mage's good intentions are superficial, as false as spots of light in the water.He only thought that he was going to leave soon, and the compassion in his heart was at odds with the vanity of being praised by others. He originally only wanted to prevent the villagers from persecuting Bao Zhizi's life, but he became complacent in the praise of the foolish people, saying it was amazing if.

"This child, I mean Miss Bao Zhizi, is a saint who was found by the gods. You see, she has never been sick!" He said, "As far as I know, her mother is also very healthy? This is the proof. "

His cheeks are flushed, although they are not particularly round and plump, but compared with the hungry and sick villagers, the mage is like a red fruit. Seeing his rich face so determined, the villagers believed it for a while, but they couldn't think of it. other options.

"Didn't Setsuko help us a lot? Baozhizi must be like her mother."

"So, Hoeko is a saint?"

"My lord, will my son's condition improve if you Bao Zhizi?"

Facing the people's questioning, the mage wiped the sweat from his forehead, and said with a confidence that he couldn't believe it: "Yes, yes, with Miss Bao Zhizi here, everything will be better."

In this farce where vanity drives stupidity around, only Bao Zhizi, who is placed in the center of the whirlpool, has a different idea from everyone else.

— This is a chance for redemption.

——Because everyone doesn't know that I, like my mother, was born to atone for my sins, so I have to seize this opportunity. 】

"..."

I put down the manuscript, and I seem to have too little ink on Bao Zhizi. As the heroine, there is almost nothing I can describe about her. The image is too empty. Off topic?

[When Ashin came back, he discovered that the reckless mage and the ignorant girl had cast an empty saint Baozhizi.And Ashin's status in the village plummeted because of the scandal of theft, and he didn't mind it, after all, the mage gave Ashin half of the money before leaving the village.

Ashin later thought, maybe God opened his eyes. After everyone invited Bao Zhizi to visit each other at home, the epidemic miraculously improved, so Bao Zhizi became a saint in the village, and the villagers moved her to a better place. The house was laid out for her with soft mattresses, the women changed her into decent and clean clothes, and the children picked flowers to make garlands for the saint.

Bao Zhizi transformed into a saint whom everyone respected and loved. Sitting in the brightest room in the village, she listened to the villagers' troubles and healed their uneasy hearts because of poverty and illness.In fact, Baozhizi didn't have to do anything. She was blind since she was a child, so it wasn't Nongsang. Middle school girls are worlds apart.

The moon shone on her face, and the bright light reflected the sacred face of the girl—it looked a bit like a saint.

Baozhizi is happy.She will no longer be treated differently because she is the daughter of a prostitute, and what makes her happy is not the soft coat or the clean house, but the power to be affirmed by others—she is Immerse yourself in the satisfaction of being needed.

Only Ashin was trembling, fearing that Bao Zhizi would suffer painful revenge after being exposed by the villagers-he thought that Bao Zhizi would become like this, and he was also responsible, after all, he was the one who found the liar mage.

The money originally distributed from the mage was also extremely hot, and he thought it was Bao Zhizi's life-saving money.Ashin thinks that he is different. He has read books and has a different conscience from the villagers, not to mention that he originally despised their vulgar and ignorant behavior.

After that, Ashin often visited Baozhizi.He thought it was due to a kind of uneasiness in his conscience. He couldn't sleep at night, and he felt a dull pain like caries. Lying on his side or lying on his back could not relieve the pain. The face will be a little more comfortable. 】

Do you want to add some emotional lines?For example, Ashin has ignorant love for Hoedeko or Setsuko?

Under the dual pouring of love and guilt, Ashin's character design might be easier to stand up?

But everything is related to love, it seems a bit too vulgar.

I took a sip of the tea, and in the cold wind, the tea was already cold, and the taste became a bit astringent, and the red on the surface turned dark brown.

[Ashin accompanied Baozhizi. When Baozhizi listened to the villagers' troubles, he stood beside him with his hands behind his back, lowered his crooked eyebrows, and even whimpered twice in compassion. The villagers just wanted to make people feel at ease. They suffered together, so they were very grateful for Ashin's empathy.

The villagers entrust Baozhizi to do some supernatural things, such as drive away wild dogs and locusts, and bless the harvest.Ashin did it secretly at night. Miraculously, the pain of his dental caries seemed to have stopped, so he worked harder to maintain the image of the saint of Baozhizi.

"It is the blessing of the saint, let us not be harmed!"

"Holy Maiden! There are still a few months until the harvest, please protect the harvest of the village!"

Bao Zhizi was obedient to the villagers. After their wishes came true again and again, Bao Zhizi gradually believed that he was a saint with divine power. Thinking that her kind heart was aching, she said——

"It will be fine, there will be a bumper harvest this year."

Ashin behind her couldn't say anything at the moment.

He thought, in this crazy god-making worship, he must be the only one sober. He became more and more frightened, and his dental caries began to hurt day and night.Finally, the pain was unbearable.

"I'm going crazy at this rate," he said.

"I want to leave here. I can still go while I haven't harvested anything yet. Maybe I can take Bao Zhizi and leave together."]

So far, I have done it in one go, thinking that it will be the key to the plot soon, and how to write in the next step must be very detailed, without any roughness, otherwise it will not be beautiful if it is superfluous, so I just take a break and wait until the evening to write the first draft later.

The sound of rain outside the window became quieter, and my lower back was a little stiff after sitting for a long time, so I put down my pen and yawned, then stretched my body and stretched.The air-conditioning climbed up against my back. I opened the window, and the raindrops hit the stones in the small pond, making a sound. I was about to close the door when I heard a small frog cry.

It seems that the stones by the pool slipped and crushed a small frog. In this quiet environment, the sound of the frog sounded a little sad. I didn’t have an umbrella in my room, so I covered my head with a towel to keep out the rain, and put the stone on the ground. The block moved away, and the little frog was released.

"Let's go, you'll be screaming all the time here." I thought for a while and said, "...it will affect my writing novels."

However, it definitely can't understand what I say, and besides, I don't plan to continue writing today.Actually explained to the frog in a serious manner, I really like to do some stupid things.

I have already submitted the "Vending Machine" article, and naturally there are more than one magazine to submit to. In my opinion, it is purely luck, so I am prepared to fail. After all, most magazines have familiar teachers. Newcomers in the industry want to publish their work, unless it is a masterpiece, or it is in line with some trend in real time, otherwise there is not much hope.

I have embraced this disappointment for a long time, and now I am just waiting for the result to cut off my delusional thoughts.

When I turned on my phone, I realized that it was nearly six o'clock. I actually kept writing and concentrated on writing for nearly three hours.

"It takes more time to write with pen and paper." I recalled the days when I was typing on the keyboard in an Internet cafe, and I felt emotional, "But the texture of handwriting is too different."

"Excuse me, Ms. Inai." Shiori's voice came from outside the door. Through the shadow of the paper door, I saw that her silhouette was wider than before. When I took a closer look, I realized that she had changed into a kimono.

"What's the matter?"

"Well, it's almost dinner time," she reminded.

"I'm not hungry yet, can I be late?"

"that……"

I opened the door, and little sister Shiori was wearing a plain snow kimono with fine silver flowers embroidered on the corners. She used to have no makeup, but now she even put on makeup and lipstick. She pulled up her hair and dressed very maturely. It is too incongruous with the girlish temperament on her body.It dawned on me—it must be imitating her mother, most of the hostesses of this kind of hotel are dressed like this.

"Mr. Songshan invites everyone to have dinner together." She explained her intentions concisely.

I asked, "Who is Teacher Matsuyama?"

"He is a local novelist and a frequent visitor to this hotel. Ms. Matsuyama often stays here overnight." Shiori's voice was very soft, "No tenant has chatted with him recently, he is very lonely, and he usually stays with him. His Mr. Writer is not planning to come this year. Seeing you today...Mr. Matsuyama is very happy, so he offered the invitation, of course it is okay to refuse."

I wanted to say "anything is fine", but then I thought, wouldn't it be embarrassing if I was the only one to answer?I'm not very good at talking with people. From Shiori's words, "Sensei Matsuyama" must be holding back his words and want to talk to someone. If I can't answer well, he will be disappointed.

"What about the others?" I asked.

My room is at the end, and Shiori might ask the guests in other rooms first as she walks along.

She nodded and said, "The two from the detective agency and Uncle Sakamoto have both been invited, and they're chatting with Ms. Matsuyama right now."

Ah... Maybe it's to collect clues?

In short, it’s fine if I’m not alone, I said, “Let’s be together too.”

We walked through the corridor of the guest room and came to the atrium. This room is similar to the guest room, but it is actually wider. The door is open, and the cross wind blows in after the rainy day. As soon as I entered the door, I was blown by the wind. Paper fluttered to the ankle.He leaned over to pick it up and saw that it was a flower ticket.

During the banquet, Dazai was playing Hanafata with a gray-and-white-haired man in kimono. I couldn't tell the winner from a distance, but when I got closer, I heard Dazai slap his cards on the ground——

A set of "Five Lights" is being assembled.

"Are you still here?" the man asked.

"That's it." Dazai's voice was brisk, and he seemed to be in a good mood, "I'm not a greedy person, let alone—" he looked at me, "Yi Jun is here."

"Hello." The man in the kimono turned his head to the side, and I realized that there were already many wrinkles on his face. He was about fifty years old, with majestic eyebrows like King Kong, and his face was thin and loose. "My surname is Matsuyama, Matsuyama Kenichi is a frequent visitor to this hotel. Is the lady also an employee of the detective agency?"

"I'm just here to rest." I sat down half a meter next to Dazai, they both kneeled upright, and I had to force myself to be like them.

Dazai had already packed up the flower cards scattered on the ground and put them into a small box.

"Did Mr. Matsuyama come to the hotel overnight for writing?" he asked.

"Well, I don't like to be disturbed when writing. The scenery here is beautiful and the atmosphere is quiet and pleasant. It is a source of inspiration for me." Mr. Matsuyama replied very gracefully. He raised his watch and said: "I'll ask Ashi if dinner is ready."

When Matsuyama left completely, I moved my body curiously, leaned closer to Mr. Dazai and asked, "...Mr. Matsuyama's novel, has Mr. Dazai read about it? What is it about?"

Seeing that Mr. Matsuyama has an old-fashioned style and a bit of literary appearance, maybe he is writing some serious documentary literature.

But when Dazai heard what I said, he put his hand on his chin, and didn't answer right away: "That..."

"...?"

"Yi Jun, come here a little bit more, I'll tell you in a low voice." Facing his sly smile, I almost got closer without any warning, then turned my face and turned my ear to him——

"The themes of Mr. Matsuyama's works are almost all forbidden/broken love stories that revolve around love between men and women, cheating, and unrequited love..." He laughed softly: "Yi Jun, your ears are red."

The author has something to say:

I have thought a lot about the copywriting, my head is bald, damn it, I must write a delicate and beautiful copywriting when I have time.

The comment reached 1k before I knew it, thank you for your liking, woo woo woo, in return I have time to make more in the past few days, thank you everyone! (refill)

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感谢在2020-08-1120:58:44~2020-08-1221:10:20期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who threw the mine: a small mushroom, 1 silver cat;

Thanks to the little angels of the irrigation nutrient solution: 80 bottles of womb leaves; 25 bottles of love; 3 bottles of rocielking; 1 bottle of Baishan Jiguang and Ye Xunyue;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!