run to him

In March, the scheduled time has come, but the audition results have been delayed.

It was rare for Zhao Lu to show anxiety, so she asked someone to contact the casting director, and when she got the answer, she was "still thinking about it", and her expectations fell to the bottom all of a sudden.When she conveyed Jing Ye, she cryptically mentioned that the capital might be a fortress.

Usually, when the other party talks to this point, Jing Ye should know something and find a way out.

Normally, Jing Ye would understand, but this time it was different.He really liked the script, and the communication with the director and screenwriter on the day of the audition was quite pleasant. He thought he was sure of it, but when it happened suddenly, not only Zhao Lu, but Jing Ye also had a hard time accepting it emotionally.

It seems that it is time to go back to Beijing to solve it face to face.

While he is not completely certain of death, try to see if there is any room for redemption.If there is really no other way, then there will be another audition in April, and we have to try our best to fight for it—it is not as popular as a script that has been honed for several years, but the supporting roles in commercial films, even if they show their faces, may have a significant commercial value once they are selected. breakthrough.

Jing Ye knows that he has accumulated a lot of passers-by in his acting career, and he doesn't have any leading roles. However, he has rich experience in acting, and he won't lose too much in acting, so he must show his advantages in contact with the film crew.

In terms of opening up the joints, Zhao Lu has already helped him a lot, but Jing Ye can't always rely on her.

Zhao Lu didn't think so, and told him not to cling to the book of movies.

There is no high barrier to entry for acting now, as long as he is a bit famous, he will always receive the script, no matter how bad he is, I even showed him a puppet online drama project where he is the male lead.Although the puppet looks like an industrial saccharine, Jing Ye has good looks and acting skills. He can perform better in this kind of project, and it is more convenient to transform after getting acquainted.

The two took a step back from each other on this issue, and Zhao Lu agreed that he would fight for it on his own, but if it didn't work, he would follow her direction and choose a good book from online dramas and TV dramas.

"I can't eat hot tofu in a hurry." After Zhao Lu finished speaking, she persuaded her earnestly on the phone, "Why don't you go back to Beijing? Time is money, and there is no delay."

Jing Ye replied "Got it", and after putting down the phone, she was really a little confused.

What is this? Frustrated in the workplace and proud in love?

The mountain city is his gentle hometown... I don't want to leave, but I have to.

It's already March now, and the college entrance examination is not close, but it is imminent in the blink of an eye.The daily life of senior three in No. [-] Middle School has always been a devil. There are fixed exams every Friday and Sunday. The papers will be graded on the same day and the lectures will be commented on the next day.

It is difficult for ordinary students to adapt to this kind of rhythm, and even if he dangles in front of Lin Chan all day long... Leaving aside Lin Chan, it is hard for Jing Ye to be sure that he can eat fast, chant Buddha and have nothing else to do.

Or look at the plane ticket...

Running on both sides, it's a bit harder for me, but Lin Chan can usually concentrate on preparing for the exam.

Just thinking about it, Lin Chan took a plate of sliced ​​apples and put them in front of Jing Ye: "Here."

This Saturday, it was rare for Lin Chan not to go to school or train in the afternoon, and the two of them stayed at home, just enjoying leisure.

Grandma bought a red Fuji in the morning, and Lin Chan helped him cut it into a crescent shape, and arranged the toothpicks neatly.Lin Chan probably has obsessive-compulsive disorder, which is not obvious at ordinary times, but only manifests when he puts things—such as his charcoal pencils, paints, and fruits.

Jing Ye took a piece to eat, Lin Chan nestled on the sofa and curled herself into his arms.

Wrapping Lin Chan with one hand and eating some fruit, he was thinking about how to explain to Lin Chan that he might not be with him every day during this time, when the person in his arms said sullenly, "You are going back to Beijing."

Jing Ye was secretly surprised that he didn't even use interrogative sentences, surprised that Lin Chan could understand his thoughts.

"Is work not going well?" Lin Chan played with Jing Ye's fingers, and continued to say in a low and aggrieved voice, "I guessed from your expression a few days ago, you are not very happy."

Jing Ye touched his face and thought to himself: When did I ever show an unhappy expression?

And Lin Chan can read his heart: "Come on, you always force a smile in front of me."

"Actually, I'm a little afraid of you." Jing Ye couldn't help saying.

This sentence was pressed deep in his consciousness for a long time.

I didn't say it was because of offense, but also because I was worried that it would damage my image in Lin Chan's mind from now on—he has been committed to becoming the family, care, and love that Lin Chan lacked since elementary school.Jing Ye never felt it was a burden, even if Yu Zhou joked that he doted on Lin Chan too much, Jing Ye didn't intend to refute it.

Lin Chan didn't treat him badly.

Ever since he was a child, Lin Chan always had his share of shopping. When he ate watermelon, he would leave the middle piece for him. Whatever he said casually, Lin Chan would always send it home as a gift during New Years and holidays.Whether it's reciprocation, or brotherhood, of course Jing Ye takes care of him even more.

The origin of love cannot be copied for everyone, but it can be briefly summarized, some stem from throbbing, some start from desire, and some start from an affair or misunderstanding.

His treatment of Lin Chan may have come from years of habit.

Habits are terrible, and they can suck people into the whirlpool without making a sound.

When he first sensed something was wrong, Jing Ye tried to separate "habit" from "love" and calmly examine his desire for Lin Chan.Then he discovered that the two cannot be separated without saying that they fit together perfectly, at least they cannot exist completely independently of each other.Then he went back to the source and tried to find the root, but failed again and again.

If it is said that the thought of being together before somewhat made up for regrets and pampered him, Lin Chan's slightly dejected sentence "You will be liked by many people" in Beijing's early spring night was like a thunderclap on the ground.

He overturned all previous plans.

We are together because we love each other.

Perhaps for him, "liking Lin Chan" has never been produced before consciousness.

The feelings of growing up together cannot be qualitative and measured by the changes that occur in a certain moment. Day after day, night after night, they have a long time that far exceeds the long time of meeting and falling in love again by chance.

Because he likes it, he is kind to him without a bottom line; also because he doesn't want to delay the young man's heartbeat, and is afraid of ending up without a problem, so he chose to avoid it at the beginning...

Lin Chan tentatively said "like" three years ago, Jing Ye thinks back now, "Did I really not understand?"

He became a deserter, comforting himself in his heart that this matter would not last long, Lin Chan was joking, and did not take that kiss seriously.He thought that Lin Chan was going to go abroad, and if he met again in the future, no one would be upset because of his youthful reckless actions. Everyone was relieved of each other, and engraved that phrase of liking and first kiss into the absurdity of youth.

The more you talk in your heart, the more paralyzed you become, and Jing Ye will feel more guilty when facing Lin Chan.

When he was drifting north, he didn't return to Chongqing very often. He hid from his old friends in fear, for fear of being caught, and then he heard the news about Lin Chan from them, and he couldn't face it.

At this time, Jing Ye looked at the past, was it the missed appointment that he couldn't face?

It's because you can't face yourself.

In the year of Zongjiao, the summer is winding and brilliant, and a butterfly flutters its wings gently on the camphor tree.After being engulfed by the torrent, a late storm was finally set off at that time.

"I was a little afraid of you back then." Jing Ye said, smiling easily, "Maybe it's because I lied."

Lin Chan didn't know when he was talking about, subconsciously thought it meant when he just returned to Chongqing.Realizing that "puppy love" has become a fact, Jing Ye's various late-knowing and contradictory behaviors are due to "lying".

Lin Chan took a bite of the apple, and said nothing for a while, "Are you lying to me, or to yourself?"

"All of them." Jing Ye was thinking about how to describe his emotions at the time, "How should I put it... I think you like me quite a bit, but I didn't expect you to love me more than my neighbor's brother, because I was too ignorant before. , when I met you kissing me, my first reaction was 'oh, I can play'."

Inexplicably feeling offended, Lin Chan paused and thought to herself: Did he take any wrong medicine?

"Hurrying to go to Beijing is one aspect, and another aspect. I didn't realize until later why I had to leave before I told you." Jing Ye squeezed Lin Chan's shoulder, "I might be really scared."

"What are you afraid of?"

"I'm afraid to seriously ask you the reason for getting close, and then you say, 'I really like it'."

"no?"

Jing Ye looked a little solemn: "Mumu, you were only 15 years old at that time."

Lin Chan, who is not much older now, faced Jing Ye, thinking from his age at that time, and vaguely understood Jing Ye's somewhat funny "sense of responsibility" to him.

Jing Ye didn't want him to take a wrong path, but Jing Ye didn't dare to be sure that it was a wrong path.

So I used the stupidest, most misunderstanding, and to some extent even the most decisive way at the time to escape.

"I'm sorry." Jing Ye said softly, "This time, it's not for 'cheating your feelings', it's for me to admit that I ran away at that time, was irresponsible, and didn't face you."

Lin Chan pretended to be Xiao Jiujiu who lied to him, and her ears became hot when she heard it: "Don't apologize for those things."

"You said at the time that you were going to like someone else, and I was so flustered." Jing Ye thought for a while and said, "During filming, the director talked about possessiveness to the male lead. ? This won't work."

"It's unreasonable." Lin Chan said, "Did you already like me a little bit at that time?"

Jing Ye avoided answering his question and took Lin Chan's hand.

Perhaps because of the lack of clothes, Lin Chan's hand was a little cold, so Jing Ye held it and stuck it to his lower abdomen, warming him up through the clothes.He sat quietly with Lin Chan for a while, and then said again: "It was only after being together that I realized that maybe...I mean maybe, not necessarily, after all, it's hard to talk about the past..."

"What?" Lin Chan inexplicably had a premonition that what he was about to say next was very important.

Jing Ye smiled and looked at their intertwined fingers.

Their entwined lives lasted 13 years, rounded up, it is not an exaggeration to say that it is a small half of their lives.Together we climbed through the fruit trees in the countryside to pick citrus flowers, fed the poor stray cats and dogs outside the community, he acted as a guest sign for Lin Chan's parents, and was a model for Lin Chan when he was learning to sketch...

Carefree childhood, ignorant and impulsive adolescence, and gradually precocious eighteen or nineteen years old.

All the fragments of memory shone, softly announcing that they had grown up together.

Then the fermented love unreasonably drags the two people into another path, leaning on each other, and will not gradually alienate because of who has a girlfriend or boyfriend in the future, nor will they form another family.

If there will be someone in the future who will spend his life with Lin Chan.

If there had to be such a person, why couldn't it be him?

No one can treat Lin Chan better than him.

"Maybe a long time ago, at the age of 20, or earlier, I fell in love with you too, but I just refused to admit it."

After all, Jing Ye lowered his head and kissed Lin Chan's forehead - because of his posture, Lin Chan nestled lower beside him. This action satisfied Jing Ye's vanity and gave him a sense of accomplishment in an instant.

Lin Chan's heart was beating fast, but she didn't express whether she was happy or not.

He sat up straight, looked at Jing Ye and asked, "Then can you not go to Beijing?"

"……what?"

How do you say that you just turn your face when you turn your face?Which sentence did I say wrong?

Jing Ye was still in a daze, Lin Chan chuckled and said, "Just kidding, you go, but you have to miss me every day."