my suspect

81. Lin Ze made a fuss

Gu Jun stood at the door wondering where his shoes were?It should be here in the morning, right?

After looking around again, there really wasn't any, frowned slightly, took out a pair of new ones from the shoe cabinet and put them on, the room was very quiet, except for the wall lamp in the living room, the other lights were not on, Gu Jun raised his hand to turn on the light Open it, put the scallion pancake in your hand on the table, then take off the sweat-soaked police uniform, pick up the T-shirt on the hanger and put it on, and gently push open the bedroom door.

no one.

Gu Jun was stunned for a moment, and then turned to the balcony. Sure enough, he was still nestled on the rocking chair on the balcony, as if he had fallen asleep.

Leaning against the door, watching quietly, the soft and cute little greedy cat and the cold and quiet Lin Ze in front of him couldn't overlap. If those things hadn't happened, what would Lin Ze be like now?

Gently opened the glass door, bent down beside the rocking chair, reached out and pinched Lin Ze's ear, then blew into his ear, and whispered: "Little lazy cat, why are you sleeping here?"

Lin Ze closed his eyes and stretched out his hands to scratch his itchy ears, muttering, "Gu Jun, I feel bad."

Gu Jun was stunned, and hurriedly turned around to turn on the balcony light. Lin Ze's face looked tired, and he knelt down and touched Lin Ze's forehead, "What's wrong? What's wrong?"

Lin Ze opened his eyes and blinked, "You're back."

"What's wrong? Why is your face so bad?"

Lin Ze raised his hand to take Gu Jun's hand away from his forehead, raised his head and smiled upwards, "No, I'm probably a little tired from cleaning the room this afternoon."

"Really?"

"Cheat you to get money?" Lin Ze sat up, and the rocking chair swayed forward as soon as he shook it. Lin Ze, who was about to stand up, failed to block the thrust of the chair's forward swing, and when his legs softened, he jumped forward. Gu Jun grabbed it and immediately picked him up.

Although Gu Jun has hugged him like this several times, Lin Ze is still not used to this kind of hug, "Gu Jun, let me down."

"Tell me, what happened today?" Gu Jun didn't let go, but directly carried him back to the house. The lights in the living room were brighter, and Lin Ze's face, which was obviously much more haggard than in the morning, couldn't hide it.

Lin Ze, who couldn't see his face, didn't know that he had revealed his secrets, "It's really nothing, but I didn't take a nap in the afternoon. I'm much lazy now, the more I sleep, the lazier I am..."

"Lin Ze, don't hide it from me, have you forgotten what I do?" Gu Jun's tone was serious but his gestures were gentle as he put him on the sofa, "Tell me what's uncomfortable, or I'll be even worse worried."

"What is so fragrant?" Lin Ze sniffled, with a puzzled look on his face, "Scallion Pancake?"

"Don't interrupt."

"Where did it come from? It's scallion pancakes, right?" Lin Ze took another deep breath, "It makes me a little hungry."

"You have a good nose, wait, I'll heat it up, it's a bit cold." Gu Jun glanced at the teacup on the tea table, got up and prepared to heat up the scallion pancakes according to the aunt's instructions, but Lin Ze stopped him.

"No, it won't be so fragrant when it's hot, and it's not going to be too cold now."

"Then you eat less, I'll make some soup."

The scallion pancakes had already been plated by Gu Jun and placed on the table. Lin Ze was sitting there, with the familiar smell lingering back and forth at the tip of his nose with the blur caused by the time interval. It couldn't be from that grandma's house, could it?Gu Jun went to find them?

Lin Ze closed his eyes, a sharp pain suddenly shot up in his head, he almost groaned in pain, he quickly bit his lip and supported his head, he couldn't see what Gu Jun was doing in the afternoon at all, he had an unbearable headache .

The sound in the kitchen was distant and indistinct, as if it came from through a heavy curtain. The indistinct sound was accompanied by buzzing tinnitus. Lin Ze felt that his back was wet and cold... If even this is of no use , he is really a burden.

Gu Jun opened the refrigerator and took out the pork ribs that he made yesterday, and then took out some soaked kelp, planning to quickly cook a kelp pork rib soup in a pressure cooker, and add sweet corn to the soup. Lin Ze loves this.

Basically, it is ready-made, except that the peeled corn is a bit garbage, Gu Jun looked at the newly put garbage bags in the trash can, and it was a waste of just such a small amount of garbage, which is not environmentally friendly. Looking at the garbage bags to be thrown away, Gu Jun hesitated for a while, but based on the principle that the earth is my home environment and relying on everyone's good quality, Gu Jun decided to put the garbage together.

His pair of dark blue leather slippers were in the trash bag, looking intact.

Gu Jun squinted his eyes, threw the peeled corn husks in, covered the slippers, Gu Jun tied up the garbage bag again, washed his hands, turned the heat on the stove to medium, and walked out of the kitchen. Lin Ze was quietly nibbling on a piece of scallion pancake.

Gu Jun really hoped that Lin Ze could say something at this time, but it seemed that Lin Ze was really hungry, and he couldn't find time to talk to him after eating the cakes one after another.

"Eat slowly, the soup will be ready in a while." Gu Jun reached out and picked up a piece, put it in his mouth and chewed, "Well, that uncle really didn't lie to me, it's really delicious."

Lin Ze's swallowing movement paused, and then he continued to bury his head in eating. Soon he finished eating one piece in his hand. He reached for the second piece, but was stopped by a hand, and then the plate containing the cake was also moved away. The sound of the plate being dragged on the table did not attract Lin Ze's attention, and he stared blankly at the direction in which his hand was stretched out.

"Lin Ze, what's wrong with you? Is there anything you can't tell me?" Gu Jun put down the cake in his hand, took out the napkin on the table, and wiped off the oil stains on his hands and Lin Ze's. While doing this, he never let go of Lin Ze's hand, "Or do you have something to ask me?"

Lin Ze suddenly mocked, "Yeah, I'm so sensitive to smell."

"Do you want to go back and have a look? I can accompany you..."

"What are you going back for? What does it have to do with me?" Lin Ze pulled out his hand suddenly, "Or let those people see me now? So that those people can have more things to talk about after dinner?"

"You really think so?" Gu Jun frowned and looked at the agitated Lin Ze. Who came here today?There will not be many people who can come here, who will it be?

"That's right! That's how I...uh..." Lin Ze covered his mouth with his hand, got up in a panic and wanted to go to the bathroom, Gu Jun held him down and stretched out his foot to hook the trash can next to him, with a "wow" just now I spit out all the scallion pancakes I ate.

He vomited quickly with food in his stomach, and soon Lin Ze stopped, and he didn't say anything about his discomfort, just holding a cup of hot water in a daze with a sleepy expression.

It seemed that this dinner would be uneatable for a while, so Gu Jun tidied up a little, then went into the kitchen and turned the fire to a low fire to let it simmer slowly, and stood in the kitchen to calm down for a while before going out.

"Lin Ze, let's have a good talk, shall we?"

Lin Ze didn't say anything and didn't shake his head to refuse. This state made Gu Jun very worried, as if he suddenly lost some kind of strength that could make him persevere.

Psychogenic diseases are caused by psychological factors, not necessarily post-traumatic sequelae. There are many causes, but they will be more obvious at a certain point. When Lin Ze gets sick, he will have a headache, feel cold, and think he is still alive. Drowning, he will feel alone and helpless, only he can take responsibility for himself in this world...

"Lin Ze, do you hate them? Because they didn't help you, did you?" Gu Jun cautiously probed, "Those grandparents who were so good to you in the past didn't help you, you hate them, don't you?"

"No, I, I didn't," Lin Ze replied puzzled, "I have no reason to hate them."

"I went to Xingyuli Old Street today, want to hear what I heard and saw?"

Lin Ze remained silent again, Gu Jun sighed silently, and sat beside him, wanting to embrace this man in his arms, but after thinking about it, he just put his hand on his lap and moved back and forth soothingly Rubbed a few times.

"I went there today just to see where you used to live. I met a couple of uncles and aunts. The aunt was especially good at making scallion pancakes. The uncle also said that there used to be a little greedy cat living next door to his house. He would climb the wall when he smelled the smell. I just thought that if I saw this little greedy cat, I would definitely take him down and teach him a lesson, how could I not know the danger?"

Lin Ze lowered his head, struggling with the heat in the water glass.

"My uncle has a very straight temper and almost didn't want to give me scallion pancakes. When the aunt mentioned the little greedy cat who loved to eat her scallion pancakes before, her eyes turned red. The two elders felt sorry for the child. It didn't help much, they wanted to see the child, but they couldn't find out the whereabouts of the child, the aunt said that she still remembers the child waving goodbye to her when he went out to this day."

"It's all a lie..." Lin Ze muttered in a low voice, not knowing whether he was responding to Gu Jun or talking to himself.

Gu Jun stretched out his hand and slowly took the water glass out of Lin Ze's hand, then pulled the man and turned towards him, "Well, maybe, we don't know if what they said is true, the uncle said that many people came to Ask, he told people that his neighbor would definitely not drink, and it was impossible to drink and drive, but no matter what, he was pissed off, pointing at me and scolding you policemen for not doing business..."

"Impossible!" Lin Ze trembled as if he had been stabbed by a needle, "Impossible, that's not what they said..."

"The uncle said that your father is allergic to alcohol and can't drink, but not many people know about it..."

"No, it's not like that, that's not what they said..." Lin Ze shook his head vigorously, "No, no, they..."

"Lin Ze, who are they? Are they the ones who came to inquire about the situation?" Gu Jun held Lin Ze's face in his hands, "Don't worry, Lin Ze, it's okay, we just want to see who is the liar, let's all go there It's all over."

"They, they said they were people from the unit. They said they asked the neighbors. The neighbors said that my father had been drinking. They also said that adults can't lie, and children can't lie. I yelled at them, but no one listened to a child. The words... they are all bullying me, they are all bullying me, their parents are gone, they are all bullying me..." Lin Ze murmured and repeated, "I hated them before, but I really didn't hate them later, the most useless It's me and not them... Gu Jun, you bullied me too..."

"I won't bully you, I will love you, Lin Ze," Gu Jun deliberately slowed down his speech, his deep and gentle voice obviously eased Lin Ze's fluctuating emotions, "Lin Ze, it's not your fault , At that time, you couldn't go to them to ask for proof, and grandpa and aunt wouldn't know that you blamed them, they all missed you, and in their hearts, you were still that sensible little greedy cat."

"It will never be again, Gu Jun, let's stop lying to ourselves," Lin Ze reached out and took Gu Jun's hand away from his cheek. The world is getting farther and farther away, and now we can still drag each other, but there will be a day when it will break, I don't want to wait until that time, Gu Jun, I'm not a normal person, you can't cure me."

Although he knew that Lin Ze was a very smart and sensitive person, Gu Jun was surprised by Lin Ze's quick reaction. Lin Ze quickly calmed down from the excitement and grasped Gu Jun's real intention. Jun was very worried about his reserve of psychological medicine knowledge.

"I told you a long time ago that you can't listen to some books. If you listen too much, your mind will become confused." Gu Jun raised his tone and speed slightly, "What is your world and mine? It's just one earth. Which other planet do you want to go to? "

"Gu Jun, you..."

"Lin Ze, listen to me," Gu Jun interrupted Lin Ze, not letting him immerse himself in his own thoughts, "No one can define whether they are normal, and neither can I. I am abnormal in the eyes of many people." , It’s just that the standards are different. I never planned to be your doctor, I can’t do it, and I don’t want to do it, but if you can tell me what you are afraid of, I can help you overcome it. I also have times when I am afraid, such as Now I'm worried about you, Lin Ze, did I make you like this?"

"I don't like to talk to people, but I always talk to myself, like a crazy person, but I feel very comfortable; I also don't like to listen to stories with happy endings, because then I get jealous, and I often have evil thoughts I try to imagine the misfortunes of the people around me; sometimes I will deliberately find some misfortunes of others to balance my heart, just like Boss Shu, he is actually good to me, but I don’t have any sympathy , I am actually a lunatic, selfish and cold-blooded, but I think I can live this way, at least on the outside, living a normal life, living with hatred and disgust for this world, it is not difficult, because I am not nostalgic, so it is really not difficult ,” Lin Ze paused, took a deep breath and continued, “But now, it’s getting harder and harder.”

"Because you have nostalgia," Gu Jun squatted in front of Lin Ze, putting his hands on his knees, "Lin Ze, when I was young, I often talked to myself, and I often envied other children and wished they didn't have their father to accompany them. Sometimes we make mistakes and arrest the wrong people, causing innocent people to suffer unnecessarily. I also hated the world and even my parents, but we didn’t really do bad things. We still seriously If you want to be a person, even if you are not upright sometimes, you will never deliberately harm others. Lin Ze, my world is here, and you are also in my world. I am Gu Jun, and you are Lin Ze , that's all, you understand?"

"But I don't want you to stop and wait for me." Lin Ze clasped his hands on his lap, and there were those warm palms in front of him, but Lin Ze didn't touch them.

"I've been chasing you all this time," Gu Jun reached out to cover Lin Ze's hand, "Baby, do you have any misunderstandings about yourself?"

"I don't want to be your burden!" Lin Ze yelled suddenly, "I don't want you to investigate any further, but I can't say it! Do you understand?! I can't say..." Lin Ze's voice choked, "How did I become like this? I shouldn't regret it, but I regret it..."

"Lin Ze..."

"I, I have persisted for so many years, but I found that I want to give up, just because, just because of me, I like you, and I like you more and more day by day." Lin Ze's eyes were red but he tried not to cry, "I'm afraid , one day you will leave too, or because of me... Gu Jun, you, you have made me useless, but what else can I do besides clinging to you? I will kill you ..."

"Shh, shhh, baby, daughter-in-law, don't get excited, don't get excited," Gu Jun gritted his teeth and got up and sat beside Lin Ze, putting him in his arms, "It's my fault , daughter-in-law, don't regret it, my husband promises you, I will definitely accompany you for the rest of my life, really, I am holding on to you, not you, daughter-in-law, today I am still praising you in front of the uncle, saying that you You are smart, capable, good-natured, and good-natured, the uncle said that I found a treasure, daughter-in-law, you are really my treasure..."

"Daughter-in-law?" Lin Ze stretched out his hand and pushed hard, "What daughter-in-law?"

"Ah, we are called daughter-in-law in the north, and wife in the south." Gu Jun forced him into his arms again, "Anyway, that's what I told my uncle. He asked me if I had a family? alright."

"Nonsense," Lin Ze sniffled, "You always talk nonsense."

"Hey, I'm really not talking nonsense," Gu Jun pulled him out of his arms, "What? You don't admit it? That's no good, it's all stamped, and there's no way to return it."

Lin Ze's eye sockets were still a little red, and the tip of his nose was also a little red. He was stunned for a while, and then asked softly with a little nasal voice: "Gu Jun, can you really bear that I'm going to have a nervous breakdown every now and then?"

"You're cute when you're nervous," Gu Jun stretched out his hand and pinched the tip of Lin Ze's nose, "You, you just like to be bored about everything, and you're the one who can't get bored, baby, don't be afraid, the better I understand you The more I will not let go, today I walked back and forth three times in Xingyuli Old Street, thinking about whether my wife has been here? Is this a place for him to hide and seek? Has he kicked here? Have you ever played ball? Have you ever ridden a car here? Just climbed up the wall that the uncle said to pick up a brick, because that may be the place where the little greedy cat lay down. Daughter-in-law, I will accompany you in the future, let’s take those Find all the things that are missing in your heart, and they are all there, but no one accompanied you to find them before."

"Gu Jun, if you really want to leave in the future, don't tell me..."

"Well, I won't tell you, I'll just pack you up and take you away." Gu Jun patted the head of this insecure little fool with distress, "Can you tell me who came here today?"