between men and women

No.60 four posts

Some things start, in fact, it seems that it is not so difficult to continue.

Ever since I joked with Peng Zhiran last time, asking if it would be a good idea to find you, I often joked with him, and sometimes deliberately teased him, saying that Peng Zhiran, or else I’d leave the mess with you, and he would blush and bite He gritted his teeth and stared at me.I laughed and told him I was joking with you again.

In fact, I hope this joke can be taken seriously one day.

But in any case, getting along with each other gradually became natural because of these jokes.It's just that Peng Zhiran has always been unimpressed with the endgame because of my relationship, and every time I go back late, I always ask: "With the endgame again?"I knew it was not good to misunderstand him like this, but I never explained it.Maybe his caring will give me the illusion that he is jealous because of me, and this illusion will make me feel that he loves me a little bit.

I'm so desperate for his love, even if it's just an illusion.

On Christmas of that year, the Internet cafe that Endgame and I frequented were going to have an interstellar competition. I had promised Endgame to participate, but the day before Christmas, Peng Zhiran asked me how your Christmas was. Said that I was going to play a game and you, he let out a lonely oh and said that I was at home.Somehow, I just don't want to go to the competition.

It is very annoying to temporarily withdraw from the game, but for me, I have something on my mind. Even if I go to the game, my heart will not be on it, it is better not to go.

So I bought some takeaways outside after get off work, and wanted to go back and spend Christmas with Peng Zhiran.Although I was worried about whether he would change his mind and decide to go out for Christmas, I still didn't tell him in advance to give him a surprise.So when I walked downstairs at home and looked up and saw the yellow light in the bedroom, I stood downstairs and suddenly felt very warm.

So I went upstairs very gently and opened the door very gently.The door to the bedroom was ajar, and the sound of the TV came from inside.Holding the takeaway I bought, I took off my shoes and pushed open the door, rushed in and called, "Peng Zhiran, look what I bought!" But Peng Zhiran, who was watching a VCD, was startled.He was visibly flustered when he met my eyes, and immediately went to the VCD remote control to turn off the VCD.I subconsciously glanced at the TV.

I thought he was watching an AV or something, but there was nothing special on the TV. Leslie Cheung was wrapping his hands into rice dumplings, and he was holding up his right arm for Tony Leung to wipe his body.

I don't seem to have seen this movie.Out of curiosity, I walked over and sat on the edge of the mattress, next to him, and asked, "Huh, Leslie Cheung's new film? Did you buy it?"

Ever since Leslie Cheung implicitly admitted that he was gay at a concert in [-], I remember that Peng Zhiran didn't really like to buy his films anymore.I can see that although he doesn't hate Leslie Cheung, at least he doesn't support his kind of change.Unexpectedly, he even bought Leslie Cheung's new CD today.

Peng Zhiran seemed a little embarrassed at this moment, the hand holding the remote seemed to want to press it to stop but didn't dare to press it.I was a little strange, and asked him with a smile: "What's wrong, this movie isn't good?" While talking, he went to find the VCD case, "What's the name?"

When I took it over and looked at it, I was suffocated.On the cover are two men lying on the ground tightly hugging each other.Starring list: Leslie Cheung and Tony Leung, title: "Happy Together"!I suddenly understood why he was so embarrassed.I know this film, I also saw it at the small VCD store next door to the community that day, but I didn't dare to buy it.The shop owner knew my mother, so I dare not make a mistake.If I let my mother know that I watch this kind of film...

But what's the situation now?Peng Zhiran was actually watching a gay-themed movie?

Seeing that I was in a daze, he hurriedly snatched the VCD case, pressed the stop button, and pressed the OPEN button of the VCD at a loss to take out the video, while explaining: "Well, I... just want to understand... ..."

Understand, understand what?Understand how men and men have feelings?It's better to understand how men and men... Bah, Chen Jia, what are you thinking, this is not a restricted movie, how could there be such a mess.Judging from the picture I just saw, there is nothing very pure at all.And if he doesn't watch the film because of me, it will be awkward for the two of them.

So I stopped him: "It's okay, I haven't seen this movie, why don't we watch it together?"

Peng Zhiran's eyes flickered, and he finally nodded.

So I took out all the takeaways I bought and set them up.

Peng Zhiran put the film back in and muttered, "That... I've been watching it for a while..."

I opened two cans of Coke, tore apart the chicken, and said to him, "It's okay, just keep reading."

He let out a sigh of relief, and continued playing the film.After leaving it for a while, he thought about it, got up and turned off the light.

So the two of us sat on the mattress against the wall in the dim light of the TV, drinking Coke and eating roast chicken.

The film is very warm, and there are no excessive scenes. Tony Leung and Leslie Cheung performed same-sex love very beautifully.Especially the part when Li Yaohui took care of He Baorong, one of the two people wanted to post it and the other was awkward and refused to talk to each other, which made people laugh involuntarily.

Since I didn't understand the previous plot, I asked Peng Zhiran in a low voice: "Why did Li Yaohui ignore He Baorong, obviously the two of them like each other?"

Peng Zhiran turned his face sideways, with an indescribable feeling in his eyes, as if his eyes were fixed on the tip of my nose for a while.For some reason, I felt that the atmosphere at this moment seemed a bit ambiguous, and I almost blushed.He took a breath and turned around to explain: "Before He Baorong dumped Li Yaohui and got along with others, so now Li Yaohui is angry."

"Oh..." I drank a mouthful of Coke to calm myself down.His appearance just now is really easy to misunderstand.Fortunately, I know it's impossible.

Later, when Li Yaohui and He Baorong were hugging and dancing together in the rented house, I couldn't help turning my head and glanced at Peng Zhiran. I didn't expect to meet his looking eyes. I hurriedly turned my head to watch TV. A heart can't be calm.

However, this warm feeling did not last until the end. "Happy Together" is a tragedy.The film is very realistic. The love between men and men has no legal protection and no responsibility. It is completely based on the trust and love of two people for each other. But this kind of thing is too empty. A love still produces distrust.But it's not that they don't love deeply enough, but because men are all individuals, they all have their own ideas and ways of doing things, and it is absolutely impossible for them to change their living habits for the sake of each other like women.That's why there is distrust, and when this distrust turns into shackles, and the shackles finally turn into resentment, the road has come to an end.However, it all comes from love.Who can say that when He Baorong returned to the small house that Li Yaohui rented and cried bitterly while holding the blanket that Li Yaohui left behind, he didn't love Li Yaohui deeply?Who can say that when Li Yaohui went to see the Iguazu Falls alone, the lonely and confused expression was not because his favorite was not by his side?

But in the end it's still a tragedy.

I can't tell what I felt when I watched this film, I can only be silent for a long time.

Peng Zhiran obviously felt uncomfortable after watching it, so he sat for a while before turning off the TV and VCD, turning on the light and taking me to wash my face and go to sleep.

We both had a bit of trouble falling asleep this night.I know why I can't sleep, but I don't understand why Peng Zhiran is.But we always only listened to the sound of each other turning over, without saying a word.

When Peng Zhiran got up the next day, the circles under his eyes were a little dark, and then he smiled and said to me: "The sound insulation effect of the old house is really bad. Yesterday, I was so noisy by the sound of trucks that I couldn't fall asleep."

I nodded understandingly and didn't say much.We have rented this house for a long time, Peng Zhiran.

Before the Spring Festival, Luo Feng and Liang Mingchuan came to see us.

Luo Feng returned the 5000 yuan he lent us.Now he has found a job driving for the boss in a Japanese-funded company, and he can still use the bus to earn some extra money on weekends, and he is back on track.

And Liang Mingchuan seemed to be chasing a girl from their school.This time he came to ask us to go out to play together during the Spring Festival, so that he could ask his girlfriend out to go together and enhance our relationship.

Hearing what he said, I bumped into Liang Mingchuan with ill intentions, and laughed: "Boy, do you want to get your girlfriend by traveling?"

Liang Mingchuan pushed his glasses and waved his hands again and again: "No, no, no, I'm a gentleman! So I came to see you to go with me. Peng Zhiran, when the time comes, call your girlfriend, two girls share a room. How about it?"

I heard this and silently glanced at Peng Zhiran.He was lowering his head, but when he heard this, he raised his head and said, "I don't have a girlfriend."

I was taken aback.Luo Feng also let out a "huh": "What about Ning last time?"

Peng Zhiran seemed to glance at me from the corner of his eyes: "That's just a few dinner appointments. We're not together for a long time." After speaking, he glanced at me again.

Damn, Chen Jia, slow down your heartbeat, does this have anything to do with you? !

Liang Mingchuan let out a disappointment: "There are only five people, let the little girl live in a room by herself, I don't know if she will be afraid."

Luo Feng muttered: "I'm afraid of farts!"

"No, I want to go to JY this time. I'm not familiar with the place. After all, it's better for two people to share a room." JY is a small, slightly remote place with good scenery. It seems that Liang Ming has heard of it before. The view is not bad.

I suddenly remembered that my stepfather's daughter said that she was going back to China in the next two days, and my mother asked me to take someone around, so I said: "Why don't I. My sister will come back during the Chinese New Year, or I will ask her if she can go." go?"

Peng Zhiran looked like you were crazy: "Your sister? That little baby?"

"No," I waved my hand, "My stepfather's daughter is half a year younger than me, and her name is Zhao Zixuan."