heart stealing game

Such a person, not a friend, not a relative, not a lover, but left a lot of traces in my life, which can't be erased, can't be cut off, it is a spider's thread wrapped around my heart, imprisoning me, I can't forget, obviously I don't love but Make me lose the ability to love forever.

--lotus

People at the bottom of the society are always envious of the glamor of the upper class, but they don't know that these glamor and prosperity are just a gorgeous appearance, but the inside is rotten and dirty.

If I could choose, I would rather be born in an ordinary family.At least let me know that there is such a thing as a father loving a mother in this world.

There was a time when I thought I was born out of expectation, surrounded only by my stern and rigid grandfather, and servants who kept changing until I couldn't even remember their faces.

The nanny who has taken care of me for more than a year just exclaimed, "The young master will be more handsome than those movie stars when he grows up." He was heard by the grandfather who happened to pass by.I never saw her again.It was only then that I realized that the words star and showbiz were taboos for my grandfather.

I also gradually realized that my birth was a bargain, and what I traded was my father's freedom.That day I burned all the photos of my father and mother in the room.Even when I was a little older, he came back to see me a few times.I'm still cold to them.

It's not that they didn't see the distress and guilt in their eyes.At that time, I was obsessed with keeping them out.I longed for it, but stubbornly told myself that I didn't need it.

I can't understand how glamorous the showbiz is to make my father so obsessed and desperate.

As for my mother, I've always seen her in photographs.She had never been recognized by her grandfather, and she was proud of never going to the Heasley family's door.

My grandfather always trained me strictly according to the requirements of the heir.The Heasley family has its roots in the Japanese military.My grandfather was a former Army Chief of Staff, and even though he's retired now, his protégés can be found all over the military.He has always hoped that his father can inherit his father's career. He has been taught by his father in every possible way since he was a child. He even ignored his father's wishes and sent his father to the Japanese Joint Staff School. The students from this school have almost occupied every important position in the Japanese military.

It's just that he didn't expect that what he got was that his father gave up his studies, ran away from home, signed a contract directly to enter the showbiz, and even married his mother who is a super model.

My father was very popular, and my grandfather finally compromised. The only request was my birth and custody rights.

High-pressure study and training, like my father, I don't like the serious and boring military life. In my opinion, it is a future with no freedom, no thoughts, and only loyalty.Because of my father's precedent, my grandfather has become very strict to me.Days like this are almost frustrating.I became more and more rebellious.What Grandfather needed was not an heir but a machine.

At that time, I was only full of darkness. My parents abandoned me, my grandfather was unkind, and the future I was arranged made me hate all these things even more.I can't see the care and love my grandfather hides.

I clearly know what kind of blow my grandfather will face if I run away from home again.But he walked down this road without hesitation.At that time, I was self-righteous, pure and passionate.

Even for the sake of impulsiveness and fun, bloody, violent and extremely dangerous mercenaries were directly added.The possibility of my grandfather taking him back was completely eliminated.

At that time, I ridiculously thought that mercenaries were as free and exciting as on TV, stimulating a wonderful life.Ambitious, self-righteous, and downright ridiculous.

A person's life can only grow when he keeps falling.But the price I paid for my growth was too tragic, which made me fall into a dark nightmare from which I could not extricate myself, and could not escape.

The bloody and dark life of a mercenary completely rebuilt me.That's when I realized how ridiculous I was before.The darkness and hurt that I thought I was self-righteous are like a joke to me now.Except for the ivory tower, I know the value of those protections.

But the abyss I stepped into, there is no room for regret at all.

The death of my grandfather made me completely lose the last bit of innocence.I didn't expect that what I did would cause my grandfather's health to take a turn for the worse, and finally he would die in depression.

Even though I once hated and resented, I never stopped loving and admiring my grandfather.It was he who grew up with me bit by bit.

When I went back to attend the funeral, looking at the black and white photos and the cold coffin, I could only cry silently, but I could no longer confide my regrets to him.

Even before he died, my grandfather traded the roads paved for me in exchange for the protection of my father and me from those old friends.

I looked at my father who was extremely sad, and let him slap me hard on the face.This pain can't fill the regret in my heart at all.

In this world, the most unforgivable thing is to squander the love given to you by those who love you, but use what they give to stab them severely.

For my grandfather, I am not worthy of forgiveness.

I am deeply disgusted and bored with the life of a mercenary, but it is not so easy to quit.The people behind the mercenary association, they didn't squeeze out the last bit of value from me, how could they let me go.

I had no face at all and asked my father for help.The way you choose, you have to swallow the bitter fruit yourself.

During those dark days, the only thing that can comfort me is that I still have my only friend, Fujiwara Kai.

Like me, he is the heir to the large Fujiwara family.It was also because of family reasons that he ran out and joined the mercenaries.It's just that he doesn't regret it like I do.

No matter how dark and painful life is, even when his life is hanging by a thread, he will always smile brightly and sunny.He always said that one's own choice must have the courage to bear the choice.

I know that he has a serious but loving father, an autistic but very cute brother who is dependent on him, and a mother-in-law who is kind and kind but the housekeeper uncle.

Whenever he mentions them, his eyes will always shine with happiness, like fireflies flying in the late summer night, although they are faint, they are extremely dazzling.

I didn't ask him why he had to run away from home and join the mercenaries without hesitation when he was living such a happy life.Every heart has an untouchable secret.Even as a close friend, it is a forbidden zone.Like the death of my grandfather for me.

Everyone thought that the reason why I fell into regret and self-blame was because my best friend died to save me.I lost the ability to hold a gun.

Because of this, the mercenary association saw me as useless, and finally let me go after getting a large sum of money from my father.

At that time, I was in a daze, and my life was worse than death.

It's just because Hai didn't die at the hands of those who besieged us, but at my hands!At that time, the two of us were surrounded, and I was already red-eyed. When the gunfire sounded behind me, I quickly turned sideways and pulled the trigger without hesitation.Back then, it was to block the sea of ​​gunshots.Between lightning and thunder, the bullet pierced his heart.It was my shot that killed him.

I can't forget the astonishment he felt before he died.

I anesthetized myself with alcohol crazily.Desperately na na murmured sorry.But there is no redemption in the darkness.

As long as I close my eyes, I will hear the voice of the sea, he keeps saying, Jiu Yuan, why...why...

I tried desperately to explain, but what I got was his resentful gaze.

I was terrified day after day in nightmares, and even gradually developed a will to die.

It was my father who woke me up.He said how can I be worthy of my grandfather and the sea that saved me?

Although I woke up from the self-blame, I hated myself more and more.

These hands actually killed my best friend.I've never felt so dirty before.How to wash away the sins covered in this body?

I tried to commit suicide, but was saved by my father who rushed to the house.

"How can you be so fragile? Do you want me to send a white-haired person to a black-haired person? Lian, do you live up to your grandfather's teachings for being so cowardly? Do you want your grandfather to have no peace in heaven? "

For the first time, my father shed tears before my eyes.The scalding liquid finally made my ashes-like heart fluctuate gradually.I looked at my father's white hair and finally burst into tears.

Without my grandfather, how could I harm my father again?I want to bear this sin and live a good life.Think of Caspian's bright smile in memory.One's own choice is one's own responsibility.

I'm sorry, Hai, I will live for the only person in this world who loves me, and I can only pay you back in my next life if I owe you.

I did not go to America with my father.This is my hometown, the place my grandfather and Hai love deeply.

I dyed my blonde hair black and wore black contact lenses.Renamed herself Tsuruga Ren.

Acting saved me, interpreting other people's stories and exploring my own life.Acting made me finally get out of the darkness and stand under the sun.

Even the long-awaited sunshine can no longer warm me.

I locked away everything from the past and devoted myself wholeheartedly to a new life.

My father said he was waiting for me in Hollywood.

With goals and a career I love, I strive to live a bright and happy life like a normal person.Tell yourself that you also have the right to happiness.

I walked step by step to the top of the entertainment industry, and found that kind and lovely girl when I was a child. At that moment, I rarely showed a sincere smile. Fate is really a wonderful thing.At that time, when my grandfather passed away, I blamed myself and felt very sad.Kyoko Mogami, the little girl who foolishly called me the fairy prince and told me to be happy and live hard.

I didn't expect that the girl who made me look down on her and entered the showbiz for revenge was the little girl back then.

I made things difficult for her, but couldn't help but help her.

At that time, I didn't realize that these were loves that were already budding.Sometimes I also wonder, at that time, if Fujiwara Hiroshi hadn't appeared and I fell in love with Kyoko, would I have the possibility of happiness.

Thinking of this, I couldn't help laughing at myself. Without what if, I would have already lost the right to be happy.I live to atone.

Life often has surprises.

Fujiwara Ice was the biggest surprise.I always think that his appearance is God's will, telling me that people like me are never worthy of salvation.

The life of a mercenary makes me very sensitive to the troubles around me.Even if you have said goodbye to the past, some habits have gone deep into the bone marrow.

So even though the continuous filming made me exhausted, at that time I was still keenly aware of the movement in my bed.

Turning on the light quickly, what I saw was a beautiful boy with sleepy eyes.Years of life have already made my heart cold and hard.Perhaps for others, this may be a long and beautiful affair, but my vigilance was instantly lifted in my heart.

I shook him awake and waited for his explanation.

After he woke up, he rushed to me in surprise, and he said that he would always be with me from now on.

The quilt on his body slipped off, and he was actually not wearing anything. At that moment, I even suspected that this was a premeditated seduction.It's just that this seductive guy obviously has a problem with his head.

I called Koichi, and Koichi came up after a while.

Fortunately, it was the president who told him that he knew him.

I immediately called the president. The president and my father are good friends and have always taken good care of me. Now which song is this singing?

At that time I almost crushed the phone.He is Hai's younger brother.The president's words hit me hard.All those memories that I could block in the past few years flooded out like a flood.However, my heart was trembling, and my hands and feet were cold.

I stood on the balcony for a long time.Going back to the room and looking at his sleeping face, this person is nothing like Hai Chang.Why did the shy and cute younger brother who was only slightly autistic in Haikou become the current autistic, depressed, and even suicidal boy?Does he know that Hai died to save me?Why are you so obsessed with me?Why do you have to live with me?

I instinctively want to reject anyone associated with that memory.But he couldn't tell the president to reject this person's request.Hai's face appeared before my eyes again, and I thought of Hai's doting and pitiful smile when he mentioned his younger brother.Even for the sake of mitigating crimes, I can't leave this boy alone.

Only one step at a time.

Living with Fujiwara ice is more difficult than I imagined.On the one hand, his existence constantly reminds me of those dark pasts, on the other hand, he is like a wayward child who doesn't understand anything and just pesters me willfully.

He invaded my life carelessly, and even pushed the door open while I was changing clothes.He jumped on me at every turn, touching my skin.Clinging to me and sleeping in my arms.I'm really afraid that if I can't help it, I'll miss him and hurt him.I loathe his approach, but I can't refuse.His presence turned my life into a mess.

He even wanted to get involved in my work, and actually wanted to play a play with me.Even at the expense of dressing up as a woman.I could see the excitement in Ogata's eyes, and the hesitation in Kazuko's eyes.Immediately said that he was a member of the Fujiwara family.

But what I didn't expect was that in order to stay by my side, he directly gave up his inheritance right.

I can't see any reason to stop him.This made me even more irritable.

I clearly told myself that it wasn't his fault, that he just regarded me as his brother's substitute, but I couldn't suppress my rejection of him from the bottom of my heart.I don't want to hurt him.Can only cowardly escape.

Go home as little as possible and have as little contact with him as possible.

But once the filming started, I didn't even have a chance to escape.

Xingyi also teased me, this young master has taken a fancy to me.I lost control of my emotions and lost my temper at Koichi.Although Koichi apologized, Koichi hated Fujiwara Hiroshi even though he didn't blame me.

I couldn't explain to Koichi that this boy was innocent.I also couldn't control the fear in my heart when the boy suddenly called his brother.

I was almost driven crazy by my own emotions.Sometimes I even thought despicably, Fujiwara Hiroshi couldn't bear the indifference of me and Koichi, and I would be disappointed and leave.

But he didn't, he seemed to recognize me.Has a strong possessive desire for me.This made me even more impatient, why did he insert himself into my life so firmly in the way of my lover?Why do you act like you love me?What I really need is not his strange love, but his leaving my life.

He really pestered me more and more, and even showed naked hostility towards Kyoko when I was playing with Kyoko.

The only thing that makes me feel relaxed is being with Kyoko, full of energy and positive, that is the life I have always yearned for.He's going to destroy even that.

I felt as if I had stepped into a swamp, falling into the darkness little by little, but there was nothing I could do.

Something happened to Kyoko, and when I thought of seeing him in the utility room at noon, all my repressed negative emotions completely exploded, my reason disappeared, and all the disgust and boredom in my heart poured out.Although he has tried his best to cover up all the time, I have been keenly aware of the darkness in his heart.Even though he was as pretty as an angel, he couldn't hide his inherent darkness and prey.It is an instinctive rejection of darkness by people who have lived in darkness for a long time.

I questioned him.He even spoke extremely bad words about him.Unreasonably vented all the suppressed groups during this period of time.

Without his explanation, I sentenced him to death.Watching him sad, watching him resent, watching him frantically hand me the knife, let me stab him in the heart.

It wasn't until he rushed out the door that my sanity gradually recovered.Worried, blamed, and regretted.

So what if he did it?What I did was dirtier and uglier than his.I killed Hai, and now I hurt Hai's younger brother.I covered my eyes, and at this moment, I finally had to admit that no matter how hypocritically I told myself to treat him well, I wanted to replace Hai and take care of him like an older brother.The instinct in my heart helped me choose to hate him and stay away from him.

His existence is a nail, reminding me of Hai's death all the time.my sins.

I am so aware of my own despicableness.Committing so many crimes, but still want to live happily with peace of mind.

There was thunder and lightning outside, and there was a violent storm.I drove hard to find Fujiwara Bing, my heart was full of contempt for myself and guilt for him.

Even disregarding Xingyi's stop, I got out of the car and looked for it. The furious rain kept hitting my face and body. I could only make up for a little bit of guilt by self-abuse.

I searched all night and couldn't find it.He even called the Fujiwara family, but he didn't go back.I was overwhelmed with regret and self-blame.In this way, I was filming, and my body was a little weak, and I also fell ill.

Being dragged to the hospital for an infusion by Xing Yiqiang, I stopped by to see Kyoko and asked her about that day.Kyoko liked him very much, and when I doubted him, she immediately defended him.At this time, I still believed in my heart that Fujiwara ice made it.Now that I think about it at that time, I clearly realized that I wronged him, but I was unwilling to admit this fact.It's just subconsciously making excuses for myself.

When Ogata called and said that Fujiwara Hiroshi was with him, I finally breathed a sigh of relief, but I felt a little disappointed in my heart.Suddenly, I was startled, only to realize that I was already so disgusted that I had a slight wish for him to disappear from my life.

I scolded myself severely and swore secretly that I would take good care of him from now on and never let him be wronged like this again.In this way, Haitian Youzhi will forgive me.

If he wants to be with me, I will always take care of him.This is my atonement.

After taking him back from Ogata, I clearly felt that Ogata treated him differently.Suddenly found that Ogata actually liked him.

When Ogata looked at him, his eyes were gentle and sad.I even thought of giving him to Ogata, Ogata would love him very much.

But he obviously wanted to stay by my side, and I finally respected his choice.

I tried to care about him, take care of him, respond to him.But he became more and more reticent.Although he still looks extremely attached to me in front of me.

Ogata, on the other hand, became more and more silent and sad.

Only Kyoko was still full of vitality.And I also understand what those regrets in my heart are.For this special girl in my memory, I was finally moved.

Feelings are the most unpredictable thing.

What happened last time, Ogata and I jointly investigated but failed to find any clues, but only confirmed that Yagyu Haruko was suspicious.Without evidence, she and Hei

Taoism is deeply related, so we can only hold back and do nothing.

I know she didn't give up, so I became more and more careful.When the flower pot upstairs fell down, I quickly pushed Kyoko over and stood in a relatively safe place.

But what I didn't expect was that Fujiwara ice pushed me away.

I hugged him with blood on his head and ran to the hospital quickly.Guilt, emotion, remorse, all kinds of feelings are extremely complicated.

"Lian, I have been working hard to learn to love you..."

"Lian, tell Ogata for me, I'm sorry, I actually like him very much. Don't you..."

I watched him slowly close his eyes in my arms, this face seemed to overlap with the smiling face of the sea in my memory.The regret in my heart drove me almost crazy.

Obviously still warm body, no heartbeat, no breathing.

Obviously, he was still such a lively person the moment before.

Moved and regret intertwined, constantly tormenting me.

Only at this moment did I deeply realize that I am not a substitute for him, but a loved one.

I really don't deserve to be loved like this.

Xiaobing, he was buried in the main family by the head of the Fujiwara family.I did not attend his funeral.The old man with all white hair said that he never wanted to see my face again in his whole life.

Life is back to how it was before, but everything seems to have changed overnight.

The Fujiwara family suppressed me crazily, and the connections left by my grandfather would still protect me at first, but after seeing the madness of the Fujiwara family, they slowly backed down.

Even President Raleigh just looked at me guiltily, expressing his powerlessness.Fortunately, there was nothing he could do.Ogata treated me like a passer-by, so I found him and told him Xiaobing's last words.He just replied that he knew, and invited me out of the house.

Slowly, apart from those scandals that were much ado about nothing, I faded out of the public eye.I don't want to go to the United States to find my father. He and my mother have new lovers and children.I was only embarrassing.What's more, Kyoko, grandfather, Hai and Xiaobing are all here, and I don't want to leave.

The news of Kyoko's marriage was the last straw that crushed me.I looked at Kyoko, who was wearing a white wedding dress and smiling sweetly, standing next to the groom. The groom wasn't a poor man, it wasn't me, he was just an unknown restaurant owner.

I finally couldn't help asking Kyoko if she ever liked me.

Those bright and stubborn almond eyes looked at me, full of determination, "Senior Lian, you have always been just a senior to me. It is Xiaobing who has always loved you."

I staggered out

Hotel, smiling with tears all over his face, "Yeah, the only one who loves me has always been that fool."

I lay on the wet bed, drank a lot of wine, and got drunk to relieve my worries.Only when I am drunk can I forget Hai and Xiaobing and live the happy life I yearn for.I'm still the Ren Tsuruga standing at the top of the entertainment industry, not the poor Kuyuan Sisley.