"I love you."
He didn't even have time to call out his name, this was Qing Yan's last and most affectionate confession to Lu Lijiang before he left.
The soft body in his arms disappeared, and Lu Lijiang tightened his arms until he hugged himself completely.
He didn't want to let go of his hands, because only in this way, it seemed that his Yanyan was still there.
Lu Lijiang's gurgling tears soaked the sheets.
In the end, he closed his eyes and curled up on the bed, weeping silently, as if he wanted to dry up all the tears in his life.
The moon is gradually setting, and the sun is slowly rising.
The sun and the moon alternate, and a new day arrives.
No matter who is born in this world and who leaves, the days still arrive relentlessly day after day, never staying for anyone.
At 05:30 in the morning, Qingyan's cell phone left by the bed rang an alarm.
Lu Lijiang, who hadn't slept all night, got up, turned off the alarm, washed his face with cold water, changed into sports clothes, and went out for a run just like Qingyan every day.
In the summer morning, it dawns early, even if it is less than six o'clock, there will be plenty of sunshine. There is no wind and it is sultry.
After running for a while, Lu Lijiang was sweating all over his body.
Lu Lijiang was thinking about Qingyan while running.
He looked at the road in the distance, and said in a low voice: "Yanyan, the sun here is also very strong today, is it hot on your side?
I'm sorry I haven't run with you before, from today on, I'll run with you every day, okay? "
Lu Lijiang followed Qingyan's running route in the past, and returned to the apartment after running ten kilometers.
After taking a shower, I sat down at the desk again.
"Yanyan, are you ready to start brushing the questions at this point?
Damn it, before you left, I actually forgot what major you studied in that school over there, but judging by your liking for mathematics, I guess it must be related to mathematics, right?
Then I'll start with calculus first. "
If Qingyan was still by his side, Lu Lijiang devoted himself to studying the questions, and did not get up until the alarm clock reminded him that it was time to prepare lunch.
He went out and went to the supermarket next to the apartment that he had visited with Qing Yan last time.
How happy it was to buy vegetables with Qingyan, how sad it is for him alone this time.
Things are different and people are different, probably so.
Lu Lijiang resisted the pain in his heart one after another, forced himself not to look at the familiar scenes and things, and went straight to the fresh food section.
Pushing the shopping cart, Lu Lijiang was suddenly in a daze as he looked at Lin Liang's array of ingredients and fruits.
——The fresh food area is full of people shopping for vegetables and fruits, including women with shopping bags, elderly grandpas, and intimate young couples. Everyone is busy with their own affairs .
They are real and vivid, living the everyday life of ordinary people.
He was the only one standing among the vegetables and fruits, not knowing what to buy.
It's like I don't know how to live the next day.
Yes, his rock is gone.
Before leaving, I didn't teach him how to choose vegetables, nor did I teach him how to mix and cook dishes.
Lu Lijiang, known as the god of learning, felt a strong sense of frustration for the first time.
It turns out that he is an idiot who knows nothing about the field of cooking that Qingyan is good at.
Now that Qingyan is gone, he can't even do the simplest grocery shopping.
This realization made Lu Lijiang smile wryly.
"Yanyan, I'm so stupid, right? You see, I really can't live without you. So, you will come back, right?
You can't bear my life like this, can you? ! "
How painful his heart is, how painful his words are.
Because he knew that Qingyan couldn't give him the answer, and no one could give him the answer.
Relying on his excellent memory, Lu Lijiang bought every dish that Qingyan bought last time. When he went to pay, he was probably distracted, and he actually went to the living area again.
Just as he was considering which way to go to get to the cashier area faster, he heard someone ask: "Sir, do you want to buy bed sheets?"
The sound is somewhat familiar.
Lu Lijiang turned his head and saw the salesperson beside him at a glance.
It was an aunt in her 40s and [-]s, wearing the uniform red vest of the shopping mall, looking at him with a smile.
Lu Lijiang lowered his eyes, and his eyes fell on a four-piece suit displayed in front of him.
he remembered
That time when he came to the supermarket with Qingyan, it was also here, he pointed to the same four-piece suit and asked Qingyan: "Yanyan, what do you think of this bed sheet?"
It's this salesperson who sells for them.
She said: "Do you two use it yourself? This style and color are very suitable for you, look at this..."
Her promotion didn't end, and he couldn't wait to agree: "It's quite worthy!"
Because at that time, he only felt that the blue color of the sheets matched Qingyan's skin very well.
He remembered that Qingyan had a pajamas of a similar color, which was so white that people couldn't take their eyes off it.
In the end, it was Qingyan who couldn't take it anymore, shouted his name angrily, and dragged him to the fresh food area.
Later, they also met the principal before paying.
He also remembered Qingyan's shy and annoyed look at that time, staring at him with red ears, it was really cute and painful.
Lu Lijiang didn't know what happened to him either.
Why no matter where he is or what he sees, he always thinks of Qingyan.
Perhaps because of his good memory, he even remembered the small details of that time clearly.
It was as if his Yanyan was still alive and standing beside him.
His heart began to ache again, the past was like a blunt knife, cutting the tip of his heart one by one, blood sees flesh.
It was also like tiny needles, pierced row by row, making his heart full of holes.
Lu Lijiang pulled his attention from his memory, and said in a low voice, "I need two copies of this set."
The salesperson smiled happily and went to pack, and he still didn't forget to chat with Lu Lijiang: "Didn't the little girl come with you?"
Hearing this, Lu Lijiang was stunned.
It's not that he didn't understand, she meant Qingyan as a small object.
But, Lu Lijiang was thinking, how much in love did he and Qingyan really be, that they would be recognized as a couple by strangers when they were shopping in a supermarket? !
"Sir, all right."
Seeing that Lu Lijiang lacked interest and looked unhappy, the salesperson didn't ask any more questions, and handed the two packaged four-piece suits to Lu Lijiang.
Lu Lijiang put it into the shopping cart and was about to leave when he turned around suddenly.
The salesperson was still there, and when he saw him looking at him, he stood up immediately and showed a standard smile: "Sir, is there anything else you need?"
Lu Lijiang ignored her questioning, and only replied softly, "He's gone on a long journey."
After finishing speaking, Lu Lijiang pushed the shopping cart and left as if nothing had happened.
The salesperson standing there thought for a long time before realizing that the handsome customer was talking about his little object just now.
—— Didn’t Little Object come with you?
—He is away.
"It's no wonder I'm too happy. Long-distance relationships are really hard." The salesperson sighed in a low voice while showing off the new four-piece suit.
Whether the long-distance relationship is hard or not, Lu Lijiang doesn't know.
But he worked really hard this lunch.
What was obviously extremely simple in Qingyan's hands turned into a mess for him, and the final product was unsightly.
After destroying all the ingredients, Lu Lijiang made himself a bowl of noodles dejectedly.
The hot steam steamed upwards and smoked his eyes, and hot tears fell drop by drop into the instant noodle bowl.
Melt into the soup and disappear.
Lu Lijiang closed his eyes and choked up on the dining table, "Yanyan, I really miss you."
His answer was endless silence.
No one hugged him from behind when he was crying softly, and said to him: "Lu Lijiang, I love you."
At this moment, Lu Lijiang had to face reality
Yanyan who said to him "You don't need to confess, I'll just come" really left.
I don't know if it's 18 years or a lifetime.
From today onwards, at least not for a long, long time, he will never see him again.
What's even more sad is that they have been together for so long that they don't even have a photo together.
How should he spend the rest of his life? !
At 11:30 in the evening, Lu Lijiang went to bed according to Qingyan's schedule.
"Yanyan, good night, I hope you can dream of me." He whispered into the dark void.
Those who don't know may think that Lu Lijiang is sick and why he always talks to himself.
Only he himself knows, only in this way can he comfort himself.
——His Yanyan is still there, at least he is still living the same life as him in another world.
He will be with him, in different spaces but at the same time.
People who go to bed at 01:30 every night are unlikely to fall asleep at eleven o'clock.
Lu Lijiang tried to force himself to sleep, but to no avail.
Finally, he took out his mobile phone and sent a WeChat message to his uncle Lu Zhixing.
Lu Lijiang raised his hand to type, writing a complete sentence seemed to exhaust his whole body strength, finally he closed his eyes and waited quietly for the news.
Like waiting for a redemption.
——It can save him from the endless pain of missing.
Lu Zhixing's message came back very quickly, and Lu Lijiang opened his eyes.
Jiang Li: [Uncle, how did you live those years? ]
Uncle: [Count the ones you recalled. ]
After seeing the answer clearly, Lu Lijiang smiled wryly.
——The little uncle Lu Zhixing, like him, also counted the memories second by second.
He has the suddenness of "so it is", and the relief of "it is so".
Second after second, day after day, Lu Lijiang spent the days recalling Qingyan.
The summer vacation is over, the university reports, formal classes, participation in activities, and winter vacation...
His birthday, Chinese New Year, Qingyan's birthday, school starts again, projects start...
At the very beginning, Lu Lijiang needed to use the alarm clock to remind himself what time it was in Qingyan, but in the end, Qingyan's original habit became natural to him.
Get up and run at 05:30 in the morning, go back to the dormitory and take a shower, do the morning questions, cook and eat, continue to do the questions, and go to bed on time at 11:30 in the evening.
Day after day, Lu Lijiang finally managed to live like Qing Yan, indifferent and self-disciplined.
He seems to have engraved Qingyan in his own blood and habits.
In Qingbei University, everyone knows Lu Shen who is noble, cold and self-disciplined.
He is good enough, but also cold enough.
He rarely participates in club activities, and spends most of his time in the library and laboratory, only running in the playground in the morning.
Neither late nor early, at 05:30 every day.
No more, no less, ten kilometers a day.
For this reason, I don't know how many boys and girls appeared on the playground at this time, just to see the legendary Lu Shen.
Naturally, many admirers sent him love letters.
There are passionate and hot seniors, young girls who are passionate, and many outstanding and beautiful teenagers.
Every time, when Lu Lijiang refused, there was only one sentence: "I'm sorry, I have a lover."
Once or twice, many times later, the students of Qingbei University knew that the aloof God Lu was beyond reach, a star that no one could touch.
As for his stereotyped rhetoric, many people do not believe it.
They only thought that Lu Lijiang was politely refusing, after all, no one had ever seen anyone around Lu Lijiang.
But there are also many people who believe it.
Because they felt that Lu Lijiang, who was cold and self-disciplined, only showed affection and tenderness that he had never had before when he said the phrase "I have a lover."
The author has something to say: I will watch "Hello, Li Huanying" at night, and I will cry with you.
So it should be this one.
He didn't even have time to call out his name, this was Qing Yan's last and most affectionate confession to Lu Lijiang before he left.
The soft body in his arms disappeared, and Lu Lijiang tightened his arms until he hugged himself completely.
He didn't want to let go of his hands, because only in this way, it seemed that his Yanyan was still there.
Lu Lijiang's gurgling tears soaked the sheets.
In the end, he closed his eyes and curled up on the bed, weeping silently, as if he wanted to dry up all the tears in his life.
The moon is gradually setting, and the sun is slowly rising.
The sun and the moon alternate, and a new day arrives.
No matter who is born in this world and who leaves, the days still arrive relentlessly day after day, never staying for anyone.
At 05:30 in the morning, Qingyan's cell phone left by the bed rang an alarm.
Lu Lijiang, who hadn't slept all night, got up, turned off the alarm, washed his face with cold water, changed into sports clothes, and went out for a run just like Qingyan every day.
In the summer morning, it dawns early, even if it is less than six o'clock, there will be plenty of sunshine. There is no wind and it is sultry.
After running for a while, Lu Lijiang was sweating all over his body.
Lu Lijiang was thinking about Qingyan while running.
He looked at the road in the distance, and said in a low voice: "Yanyan, the sun here is also very strong today, is it hot on your side?
I'm sorry I haven't run with you before, from today on, I'll run with you every day, okay? "
Lu Lijiang followed Qingyan's running route in the past, and returned to the apartment after running ten kilometers.
After taking a shower, I sat down at the desk again.
"Yanyan, are you ready to start brushing the questions at this point?
Damn it, before you left, I actually forgot what major you studied in that school over there, but judging by your liking for mathematics, I guess it must be related to mathematics, right?
Then I'll start with calculus first. "
If Qingyan was still by his side, Lu Lijiang devoted himself to studying the questions, and did not get up until the alarm clock reminded him that it was time to prepare lunch.
He went out and went to the supermarket next to the apartment that he had visited with Qing Yan last time.
How happy it was to buy vegetables with Qingyan, how sad it is for him alone this time.
Things are different and people are different, probably so.
Lu Lijiang resisted the pain in his heart one after another, forced himself not to look at the familiar scenes and things, and went straight to the fresh food section.
Pushing the shopping cart, Lu Lijiang was suddenly in a daze as he looked at Lin Liang's array of ingredients and fruits.
——The fresh food area is full of people shopping for vegetables and fruits, including women with shopping bags, elderly grandpas, and intimate young couples. Everyone is busy with their own affairs .
They are real and vivid, living the everyday life of ordinary people.
He was the only one standing among the vegetables and fruits, not knowing what to buy.
It's like I don't know how to live the next day.
Yes, his rock is gone.
Before leaving, I didn't teach him how to choose vegetables, nor did I teach him how to mix and cook dishes.
Lu Lijiang, known as the god of learning, felt a strong sense of frustration for the first time.
It turns out that he is an idiot who knows nothing about the field of cooking that Qingyan is good at.
Now that Qingyan is gone, he can't even do the simplest grocery shopping.
This realization made Lu Lijiang smile wryly.
"Yanyan, I'm so stupid, right? You see, I really can't live without you. So, you will come back, right?
You can't bear my life like this, can you? ! "
How painful his heart is, how painful his words are.
Because he knew that Qingyan couldn't give him the answer, and no one could give him the answer.
Relying on his excellent memory, Lu Lijiang bought every dish that Qingyan bought last time. When he went to pay, he was probably distracted, and he actually went to the living area again.
Just as he was considering which way to go to get to the cashier area faster, he heard someone ask: "Sir, do you want to buy bed sheets?"
The sound is somewhat familiar.
Lu Lijiang turned his head and saw the salesperson beside him at a glance.
It was an aunt in her 40s and [-]s, wearing the uniform red vest of the shopping mall, looking at him with a smile.
Lu Lijiang lowered his eyes, and his eyes fell on a four-piece suit displayed in front of him.
he remembered
That time when he came to the supermarket with Qingyan, it was also here, he pointed to the same four-piece suit and asked Qingyan: "Yanyan, what do you think of this bed sheet?"
It's this salesperson who sells for them.
She said: "Do you two use it yourself? This style and color are very suitable for you, look at this..."
Her promotion didn't end, and he couldn't wait to agree: "It's quite worthy!"
Because at that time, he only felt that the blue color of the sheets matched Qingyan's skin very well.
He remembered that Qingyan had a pajamas of a similar color, which was so white that people couldn't take their eyes off it.
In the end, it was Qingyan who couldn't take it anymore, shouted his name angrily, and dragged him to the fresh food area.
Later, they also met the principal before paying.
He also remembered Qingyan's shy and annoyed look at that time, staring at him with red ears, it was really cute and painful.
Lu Lijiang didn't know what happened to him either.
Why no matter where he is or what he sees, he always thinks of Qingyan.
Perhaps because of his good memory, he even remembered the small details of that time clearly.
It was as if his Yanyan was still alive and standing beside him.
His heart began to ache again, the past was like a blunt knife, cutting the tip of his heart one by one, blood sees flesh.
It was also like tiny needles, pierced row by row, making his heart full of holes.
Lu Lijiang pulled his attention from his memory, and said in a low voice, "I need two copies of this set."
The salesperson smiled happily and went to pack, and he still didn't forget to chat with Lu Lijiang: "Didn't the little girl come with you?"
Hearing this, Lu Lijiang was stunned.
It's not that he didn't understand, she meant Qingyan as a small object.
But, Lu Lijiang was thinking, how much in love did he and Qingyan really be, that they would be recognized as a couple by strangers when they were shopping in a supermarket? !
"Sir, all right."
Seeing that Lu Lijiang lacked interest and looked unhappy, the salesperson didn't ask any more questions, and handed the two packaged four-piece suits to Lu Lijiang.
Lu Lijiang put it into the shopping cart and was about to leave when he turned around suddenly.
The salesperson was still there, and when he saw him looking at him, he stood up immediately and showed a standard smile: "Sir, is there anything else you need?"
Lu Lijiang ignored her questioning, and only replied softly, "He's gone on a long journey."
After finishing speaking, Lu Lijiang pushed the shopping cart and left as if nothing had happened.
The salesperson standing there thought for a long time before realizing that the handsome customer was talking about his little object just now.
—— Didn’t Little Object come with you?
—He is away.
"It's no wonder I'm too happy. Long-distance relationships are really hard." The salesperson sighed in a low voice while showing off the new four-piece suit.
Whether the long-distance relationship is hard or not, Lu Lijiang doesn't know.
But he worked really hard this lunch.
What was obviously extremely simple in Qingyan's hands turned into a mess for him, and the final product was unsightly.
After destroying all the ingredients, Lu Lijiang made himself a bowl of noodles dejectedly.
The hot steam steamed upwards and smoked his eyes, and hot tears fell drop by drop into the instant noodle bowl.
Melt into the soup and disappear.
Lu Lijiang closed his eyes and choked up on the dining table, "Yanyan, I really miss you."
His answer was endless silence.
No one hugged him from behind when he was crying softly, and said to him: "Lu Lijiang, I love you."
At this moment, Lu Lijiang had to face reality
Yanyan who said to him "You don't need to confess, I'll just come" really left.
I don't know if it's 18 years or a lifetime.
From today onwards, at least not for a long, long time, he will never see him again.
What's even more sad is that they have been together for so long that they don't even have a photo together.
How should he spend the rest of his life? !
At 11:30 in the evening, Lu Lijiang went to bed according to Qingyan's schedule.
"Yanyan, good night, I hope you can dream of me." He whispered into the dark void.
Those who don't know may think that Lu Lijiang is sick and why he always talks to himself.
Only he himself knows, only in this way can he comfort himself.
——His Yanyan is still there, at least he is still living the same life as him in another world.
He will be with him, in different spaces but at the same time.
People who go to bed at 01:30 every night are unlikely to fall asleep at eleven o'clock.
Lu Lijiang tried to force himself to sleep, but to no avail.
Finally, he took out his mobile phone and sent a WeChat message to his uncle Lu Zhixing.
Lu Lijiang raised his hand to type, writing a complete sentence seemed to exhaust his whole body strength, finally he closed his eyes and waited quietly for the news.
Like waiting for a redemption.
——It can save him from the endless pain of missing.
Lu Zhixing's message came back very quickly, and Lu Lijiang opened his eyes.
Jiang Li: [Uncle, how did you live those years? ]
Uncle: [Count the ones you recalled. ]
After seeing the answer clearly, Lu Lijiang smiled wryly.
——The little uncle Lu Zhixing, like him, also counted the memories second by second.
He has the suddenness of "so it is", and the relief of "it is so".
Second after second, day after day, Lu Lijiang spent the days recalling Qingyan.
The summer vacation is over, the university reports, formal classes, participation in activities, and winter vacation...
His birthday, Chinese New Year, Qingyan's birthday, school starts again, projects start...
At the very beginning, Lu Lijiang needed to use the alarm clock to remind himself what time it was in Qingyan, but in the end, Qingyan's original habit became natural to him.
Get up and run at 05:30 in the morning, go back to the dormitory and take a shower, do the morning questions, cook and eat, continue to do the questions, and go to bed on time at 11:30 in the evening.
Day after day, Lu Lijiang finally managed to live like Qing Yan, indifferent and self-disciplined.
He seems to have engraved Qingyan in his own blood and habits.
In Qingbei University, everyone knows Lu Shen who is noble, cold and self-disciplined.
He is good enough, but also cold enough.
He rarely participates in club activities, and spends most of his time in the library and laboratory, only running in the playground in the morning.
Neither late nor early, at 05:30 every day.
No more, no less, ten kilometers a day.
For this reason, I don't know how many boys and girls appeared on the playground at this time, just to see the legendary Lu Shen.
Naturally, many admirers sent him love letters.
There are passionate and hot seniors, young girls who are passionate, and many outstanding and beautiful teenagers.
Every time, when Lu Lijiang refused, there was only one sentence: "I'm sorry, I have a lover."
Once or twice, many times later, the students of Qingbei University knew that the aloof God Lu was beyond reach, a star that no one could touch.
As for his stereotyped rhetoric, many people do not believe it.
They only thought that Lu Lijiang was politely refusing, after all, no one had ever seen anyone around Lu Lijiang.
But there are also many people who believe it.
Because they felt that Lu Lijiang, who was cold and self-disciplined, only showed affection and tenderness that he had never had before when he said the phrase "I have a lover."
The author has something to say: I will watch "Hello, Li Huanying" at night, and I will cry with you.
So it should be this one.
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