you're nothing but scum

Beam Angle

After Xiao Le was discharged from the hospital, many trivial things happened.

For example, Tang Qilin, he got into the police again the night Xiao Le fell down the stairs. After this time, I haven’t heard from him again. He seems to have disappeared all of a sudden. Maybe he’s already thinking about it and won’t come again. I'm pestering Xiaole.

I was actually a little surprised, because Tang Qilin has always been thick-skinned. Although Xiao Le's falling down the stairs was directly related to him, he would never admit it to death.After such a incident, I really didn't expect to leave Xiaole's side.

But that's okay, Xiao Le has experienced so many things, she really can't be hit anymore.

I have been saying that I am envious of Xiao Le, envious that he has so many people like him, and so many people can choose, but Xiao Le is right. If I really experienced the things that happened to him, I am afraid I will Don't say that anymore.

Betrayed by a loved one, hit by a car, lost a leg and so on, if it wasn't for Song Xiuming, I would not have the confidence to support each other with him at all.

The two of us are really equal, and no one is better than the other.

The night after Xiao Le was discharged from the hospital, I didn't know what Song Xiuming said to him, but when I saw Xiao Le again later, his spirit had improved a lot.

Song Xiuming mentioned what I said in the hospital when Xiao Le was away.At that time, I told Song Xiuming that Xiao Le planned to pack his luggage and leave when he went back, and I really lied to him.Although I saw Song Xiuming and Lin Yan kissing with my own eyes, I really don't believe that Song Xiuming really likes Lin Yan.But he doesn't understand how serious Xiao Le's psychological shadow is. I want him to pay attention to it, that's all.What's more, if the negotiation fails, Xiao Le originally planned to leave.

Song Xiuming smiled and thanked me.

I curled my lips, thinking that this was all for Xiaole.

During the time when Xiaole was recuperating from his injuries, Lin Luo and I have been helping to look after the store.He is already a junior, and it is said that he is busy with the postgraduate entrance examination. He is obviously very busy, but he still has to find time to sell breakfast with me.Every time I see Aunt Lin and Uncle Lin opposite, I feel a little guilty. I always feel that I am squeezing their son, and my mood towards Lin Luo becomes more and more strange.

I don't know if I like him or not. At first, I was just a little moved by his performance in front of Qi Ling. I thought that since this person likes me so much, it would be good to let him accompany me.But Lin Luo is really like a child, he puts me first in everything, in fact, there is no need for this.Take academics as an example, the postgraduate entrance examination should not be easy, and the exam will be in January next year, so why bother spending energy playing with me, and he doesn't listen to persuasion, always saying that he likes me like me or something.

Simply Xiao Le came back to help soon, and I drove Lin Luo away.

If he didn't get into the graduate school because of me, I can't bear to be responsible.

Xiao Le and I gradually became familiar with some students next to the university. Most of the girls who chat with us when shopping are girls. As for why, I can understand just by watching Xiao Le’s teasing expression , I'm not a fool.

Xiao Le said they were all after me, I thought to myself, do you think those girls are only after me?Even if everyone can see that your legs and feet are inconvenient, but just looking at your face, they can't help being crazy.

I remember when I saw Xiao Le for the first time in "The Night", I thought his face was so pretty, and I always felt that being a waiter was a waste.But I didn't dare to say this to him from the very beginning, for fear of being beaten up by him. After all, although he decided to become MB by himself, I could see that he was just out of anger, and he resisted from the beginning to the end.

He is really good-looking, so I have been paying attention to him. After he was insulted by Tang Qilin, I pulled him up and handed him the cigarette in my mouth.

When I think of those days, and what Xiao Le said when he was hit hard by the past, I can't help but think a lot.Probably compared to Xiao Le, I am even more cheap, because for the MB industry, after the initial resistance, I did enjoy it a little bit.

In that kind of place, you don't have to worry about being despised by others. As long as you have this face, you don't have to worry about not being able to find customers.

I didn't realize that my body was dirty or something, because I never thought that anyone outside this world would want me.Without comparison, naturally you won't feel dirty.

I don't know if my choice is right about Lin Luo.Because I was not sure, I kept resisting him a little bit, but I couldn't completely reject him.

After all, apart from him, there is no one who can accept me like this... I am afraid there will be no more.

Five or six years passed in a flash.

In the past five or six years, Xiao Le and I closed the breakfast shop.We used our savings over the past few years and borrowed some money from Song Xiuming to open a small restaurant next to their hospital.In the beginning, we were the two chefs. After training, our skills have improved a lot. It is absolutely no problem to cook.One year after opening the restaurant, we only found a chef and two or three waiters. The business of the restaurant is very good, and doctors from the opposite side often come here to eat.

In the past five or six years, Lin Luo studied as a graduate student in a famous local university. After graduation, he joined a construction company and gradually grew into a talent in the field of construction.He moved out of the house and rented an apartment next to his company, and asked me to move there too.

In the past five or six years, I always feel that subtle changes have taken place between me and him.

Lin Luo has actually changed a lot. Looking back at his youthful appearance as a college student when I first saw him five or six years ago, and comparing it to his current appearance wearing a shirt and concentrating on drawing pictures on the table, I can't believe it. It's the same person.

He stopped talking when he drew a picture, and he could work on it for hours in silence.

Whenever this time, I have nothing to do, I can only go out for a stroll.

In fact, I always feel that Lin Luo has treated me a lot colder in the past year.Maybe it's because of the busy work, think about it, right, this happens to be the time when men struggle, if everyone wastes their youth in nightclubs like me, will it be okay?

He would often stay out all night, clearly saying that he would not come back for dinner, and before going to bed, he would send text messages saying that he had to spend the night at the company.

I never asked one more question, I didn't want to ask if you are really in the company, or if you don't like me anymore.

Is it because of fear?I don't know... I obviously didn't like him when I was with him in the first place, and I always feel that my state of mind hasn't changed much in the past few years.

But if it wasn't because of fear, why didn't he ask, and just dragged on such a relationship and refused to let go?

Maybe it feels like it's okay now.Even if Lin Luo doesn't like me anymore, at least I still have a place to live.Once separated from him, where should I go?

Xiao Le has settled down with Song Xiuming, and even went to see his parents, so it is impossible for me to disturb them anymore.Besides Xiao Le, who else can I rely on?It's gone... In the end, I will still be alone.

Walking on the side of the road, seeing my appearance on the glass window, I couldn't help being in a trance.

I am one year younger than Xiao Le. He was 23 when he had a car accident, and I was 22.These five or six years have passed, and I only now realize that I am already approaching my thirties.

So it's already this time... Lin Luo is about the same age as me, so it's time to find a woman to marry.

Will regret the original decision at this time... It's not surprising at all.

After all, it was just Lin Luo who was like a child when he pulled me and said he liked me and would protect me.

***

It's almost New Year's Eve.

After I cooked the meal, I received a text message from Lin Luo, saying that I would not be coming back for dinner, so I filled a bowl of rice and ate it by myself.After eating, cover the leftovers and put them away, and wash the dishes.

Facing the empty apartment, I suddenly wondered how many things I brought with me when I moved here.I am also a little puzzled, I have lived here for two or three years, and I have never met Aunt Lin and Uncle Lin. Don't they all come to see Lin Luo?I don't think they are the ones who are so reassuring about Lin Luo.

But I didn't think much of it.

I wondered how long it would take to pack all my stuff into the suitcase.I also wondered if Xiaole would call me and say that he wanted to spend the night with him, would he scold me.

But as I was thinking, I had already pulled out a suitcase to pack my clothes.

The phone rang, and I picked it up. Lin Luo said on the phone: "Something happened just now, did you receive my text message?"

"Ah."

"Why don't you come back?" He said with a smile.

"I'm eating." I held the phone between my shoulders and folded the clothes one by one and put them in the suitcase.

He said: "I should be back tonight, you go to bed first, don't wait for me." He coughed after finishing speaking.

He has caught a cold these two days.

I frowned and said, "Have you taken any medicine?"

"Eat, eat." He said quickly.

I sighed, stopped moving, and was silent for a few seconds.

Lin Luo asked on the phone: "Liang Liang?"

I feel a little astringent.

This decision was not made out of anger.

Lin Luo, I'm afraid you haven't noticed the change in your attitude towards me...

Even if I think that you are my home, the home that is hard to find after I miss it, I can't keep dragging you down like this.If it's just hard for you to say that to me, then I can leave on my own.

Life is not a child's play. Once you are unwilling to ask me to leave just to stick to the so-called original decision, you will only be delayed, and your parents will be the only ones who will be sad.

I'm just a MB and don't want this kind of tangled experience like in the novel.

Keep everything simple, and you will find that you will live a little easier after separation.

I suppressed the soreness in my heart, and said to Lin Luo, "It's okay, you should come back early."

"Well, good." Lin Luo said, and then hung up the phone.

I zipped up my suitcase and stood up.

Looking around at this place where I have lived for two or three years, which seems to have been regarded as my home, I heard my own heartbeat.

Again and again, echoing in the empty room.

I didn't go directly to Xiao Le's place, but to "Night".

I really didn't expect to come back to this place, I think how cheap I am, I finally made up my mind to leave under Xiao Le's persuasion, why did I come back after a few years?I found that I actually miss this place.

The store manager was a little surprised when he saw me, and moved his lips as if he wanted to say something.

I guessed what he wanted to say, and quickly said that I didn't come back to continue working here.

He smiled a little embarrassingly.

I ordered a glass of wine and just wanted to find a place to be quiet.

After being in a daze for a while, I heard a familiar cursing voice, and when I looked back, I realized it was Tang Qilin.

When I saw him, I was so surprised, I never thought that I would run into him only when I came back occasionally.

There was a bruise at the corner of his eye, and the corner of his mouth was swollen. With a black face, he followed his brothers and walked in. When he saw me, he walked towards me.

He sat down next to me in a grand manner, licked the corner of his mouth and said sullenly, "Where's Mo Le?"

"It's been a few years, you still miss him?" I muttered.

"Bah, if it's not, it's not..." He seemed to be saying something awkwardly.

I noticed the faint green and red hickeys on his neck hidden in the collar, and my scalp felt numb all of a sudden.That color and quantity, what a fucking tough woman could kiss his neck like this!

On second thought, it's wrong, Tang Qilin likes men.

If a man...

I sneaked a look at his face, it didn't look like he had just finished having sex at all, but as if he had been given pleasure by someone else...

Tang Qilin caught my gaze and cursed, "What are you looking at?"

I curled my lips, turned back to sip on the drink with a straw, and said, "It's nothing."

"Tsk, I'm so fucking upset," Tang Qilin scratched his hair with his hands, and said suddenly, "By the way, what are you doing here? Don't you know that man named Qi Ling often comes here recently?"

I was taken aback.

He looked at me with weird eyes, and said: "Why, you fell out with that little boy of yours back then, and you came back to find him?"

I frowned, and when I heard the sound of the door opening, I looked over, and I really saw that person.

He still doesn't seem to have changed.

And when I meet his eyes, I will never show fear like I did back then.

Disgust, resentment, etc., all the emotions that filled me back then disappeared.

To me, this man now is just a person who disgusted me once.