A young girl dreams of a wild god

The day when the new wife was welcomed into the house happened to be half a year after the death of the Tsushima family's mistress.It was a young woman, but at the age of 25, with a beautiful appearance, it even made people wonder why such an outstanding woman would marry the middle-aged Tsushima Genemon.

Probably many people have such questions, right?

"Why did you marry your father? He is not young anymore, and one by one he made his wife have children, killing her."

Shuji Tsushima was only five years old at that time, still a child.When the new wife walked down the corridor, the children standing in the shadows looked up at each other with puzzled expressions.

He looks a lot like the previous mistress, with an overly delicate face.His eyelashes are so long, as if a pair of black swallowtails landed on his eyes and kissed him.

Tsushima Genemon didn't care about the young boy, and no one cared about his excellence, which made the child a wandering spirit in the family.But the maids loved him, and even the most hard-hearted manservant softened under his pampering.

"Master Xiuzhi, what are you talking about!" The servant beside him showed a panicked expression, trying to stop the boy, but couldn't make up his mind to cover his mouth.

Funny, ridiculous.

So Shuji Tsushima narrowed his round eyes, pursed his lips, and showed an overly cute smile.

"I've heard a lot of people say that!"

"Master Xiuzhi can't talk like that in the future. Ma'am, look at this..."

The new wife did not embarrass the servant, nor did she show any anger at Shuji Tsushima.She just smiled faintly, then squatted in front of the boy, stroking his fluffy hair with her soft palm.

You are still a child, you can't fool me.

And I don't care about you.

The new wife's mouth is smiling, but her eyes are not.

A woman's hair is very long, and she probably rarely cut her hair short when she was growing up as the daughter of the owner of the shrine.When she squatted down, the long gray hair spread out on the ground like silk and satin.

"I just... want a child." The new wife said, with flickering light in her brown eyes, "a very important one, a child."

Soon, the new wife was pregnant with a child.Her belly is rising day by day, and women are laughing more and more.She would often purse her lips and giggle inexplicably by herself.

After conceiving in October, the Tsushima family had a new daughter.

Tsushima Genemon had too many children, boys accounted for the majority.For this new daughter, he is not looking forward to it, nor is he bored, he just feels that there is another chess piece.

Oh, if you calculate it this way, in fact, at present, daughters are much more useful than sons.

The newborn child's skin was red and wrinkled, but the sound of crying was unexpectedly loud.Although the people around were laughing for the new life, Shuji Tsushima, who was surrounded by the crowd, felt that he was about to pass away.

"How can such a small thing make such a loud noise?" Shuji Tsushima poked the red face of the younger sister with his fingers. "And so ugly! I can't believe my sister is so ugly!"

The kite-haired boy is only six years old. When he is lying on the side of the baby's burden with his feet up like this, this scene can make any woman overflow with maternal love.The family doctor smiled and answered his question in a loving tone.

"When Master Xiuzhi's younger brother was born, you were still young, so naturally you haven't seen the appearance of a newborn baby. All newborn babies are like this, and after raising them, they will turn white."

"Hey, that's it." Shuji Tsushima poked his sister's bald head with lanugo again, and said firmly, "That's ugly too."

Slowly, the child, whom his elder brother called Pink Monkey, grew up.The red, wrinkled skin became white and soft to the touch like a cloud, and her eyes were the same honey-gold color as Genemon Tsushima.

"She doesn't look like me at all!" The critical young master Tsushima uttered another difficult thing.

"In that case, should Master Xiuzhi try to raise her?" the new wife leaning on the back of the bed said in a flat tone. "Probably after raising them, they will be born similar."

"…seriously?"

"Yes."

Holding his little sister who was just full moon, Shuji Tsushima's arms kept tightening.The baby girl murmured inexplicably and was not frightened by him at all.

"Then this is mine." The boy tilted his head, narrowed his iris-colored eyes, and pulled the little baby into his arms again. "It's done, this child will be mine from now on."

Is only mine.

Tsushima Genemon agreed to his youngest son's willfulness and allowed him to keep his youngest daughter by his side.Shuji Tsushima poured a lot of enthusiasm and dedication into this new 'pet'.

The servants at home often see a little boy walking on the corridor with a baby in his arms. If he is tired, he will let the people around him help him for a while.When he rests well, he still wants to bring his sister back.

"It's so cute, what a good boy Master Xiuzhi is." The servants praised him. "Love my sister and be polite. The future is promising."

Not at all.

Shuji Tsushima listened to everyone's comments, and responded to everyone's love with an innocent and cute expression.

certainly not.

It's not that I love my sister, it's that my sister must love me.

He poked the baby's cheek and said to her with a smile: "No one in this family really loves me, so you have to love me, even to the end of your life."

Slowly, the baby began to try to speak.

Others saw the preciousness of life in her, but the boy read in this little group of children something more terrifying than the most ferocious beast in the world.

She looked at the fallen leaves and flowers curiously, and used her delicate hands to catch things around her.Her honey-gold eyes held so much that they were almost overflowing.

She never belonged to you from the beginning to the end.

Shuji Tsushima "finally" noticed this.

She will grow up and become nothing like the one she is completely dependent on now.She is the hunter, and Shuji Tsushima is the prey whose vigilance is let down.

How terrible.

When he came back to his senses, Shuji Tsushima's hands were already wrapped around the younger sister's neck.The whole body of such a small child is covered with soft flesh, pinching her neck like this is like pinching a ball of mochi.

The red bean stuffing is soft, sweet and greasy, and the sticky inside will leak out as soon as it is pinched.

"I'll just kill you like this, okay?"

The boy bowed his waist, bowed his head deeply, and asked her opinion in the most gentle tone.However, his eyes were wide open, and the pupils were even dilated with fear.

Only death is eternal, and the dead never change.

Either you or me.

If we die, you'll always love me, won't you?Will always be pure, attached, and always love me.

In the face of this immature killing intent, the child whose throat was strangled did not feel any fear.Like the clichés in all stories, she put her limp little hand on the back of her panicked brother, and smiled so hard that she couldn't see her teeth.

"Brother...Ababa..."

"Hey, how could you be so stupid!"

He gave up.

This was the first time in Shuji Tsushima's life that he purely wanted to kill Yuki Tsushima, and it was also the last time.

Otherwise, what can I do, can my sister be thrown into the sea?

The child grew up gradually, and she learned to walk, and began to hug her brother's legs and follow him stumblingly.When she got older, she followed Shuji Tsushima step by step, like a little tail without a brain.

Silly.

The little girl is only five years old, she is so beautiful, she can smile at many people with an innocent expression that makes people fall in love.She doesn't understand the malice of others. In her heart, everyone in this world is probably good.

"Didn't I say that I can only love my brother, Yuki." Tsujima Shuji, who had become a boy, dragged out a long voice, gently pinching her chubby face.

"I love my brother so much." Tsushima Yuki blinked and kept throwing straight balls, "Xuezhi likes my brother the most!"

She is so cute, so cute that people want to put this candy that will desperately say love words into a jar.

So it's normal and abnormal that there will be greedy and ugly adults eyeing this immature child, right?

The child who has not yet bloomed is wearing a pink cherry-colored gown, holding a handball in his arms, flying across the dim edge corridor like a butterfly who does not know the world.She saw the flowers blooming in the garden, so she ran into the flowers on her small and delicate clogs.

"Take the small basket and go to the mountain, the mulberry trees are green like shade, pick the mulberry fruit and put it into the small basket..."

She sang nursery rhymes that didn't find the tune at all, but the little girl's voice was childish, and even if the tune traveled a thousand miles, she could be forgiven.

How lovable and lovable, it makes people want to hold her in their arms and watch her laugh and cry for herself.

The manservant standing in the shadows was about to move, licking the girl's small body up and down with his eyes with a spatula.

The boy stood in the dark corridor, staring at the servant who seemed to be just wearing human skin with cold eyes.The man whispered to the girl with a seemingly gentle dirty smile, coaxing her to drop the ball in her hand and follow him to play some 'more interesting' games.

The checkered handball fell into the mud, rolled and rolled, rolled into the freshly watered flowers, and was stained with muddy water.And the little master of the handball stands innocently in front of the "Wolf", like Sakura who is about to decline.

Sooner or later, Tsushima Yukie must learn to distinguish between good and evil, and learn to understand that there are enemies everywhere in the world, but it should never be done in this way.

"What are you doing, Yuki?" Shuji Tsushima came out from the dark with a smile.

Seeing her favorite brother, Tsushima Yukie, who was laughing next to the servant just now, immediately shifted her attention.She jumped into her brother's arms and rubbed her forehead against his abdomen.

"Let me tell you, let me tell you, brother, Mr. Shimoda said he would take me to play together!"

The male servant named Shimoda showed nervous and terrified eyes, he rubbed his hands, and said with a smile to the young master of the Tsushima family: "Yes, I see that Missy is playing alone, so I want to have some fun with Missy. "

Oh, you can really talk.

According to Shuji Tsushima, the manservant is not so much trying to make fun of Xue Zhi, it is better to say that he wants to make fun of innocent girls.

However, Tsushima Xuezhi still couldn't understand these things, so she asked her brother: "Do you want to go play together? Do you want to go together?"

The male servant's eyes gradually brightened. He looked at the brother and sister hugging each other, and the greedy and ugly brilliance appeared in his eyes again.

Shuji Tsushima's face followed that of his biological mother, and the former mistress of the Tsushima family was a well-known beauty in ten miles and eight villages when she was young. The 11-year-old Shuji Tsushima has slender hands and feet and a slender figure. His overly delicate face makes the boy who has not yet shown obvious sexual characteristics look like a beautiful woman.

"Master Xiuzhi, do you want to come together?" the servant asked kindly.

Of course Tsushima Shuji could see what the manservant was thinking about.

If he was just a simple young man, he would probably be confused by the appearance, and then be abducted by an adult man he couldn't resist, right?But Shuji Tsushima didn't understand anything, he knew very well what men and women's desires were for his face, so he only felt disgusted and bored.

"No, Yuki and I have to take flower arrangement class later, and we have to wait until we have time to play things like this." Shuji Tsushima didn't expose him, he just said that. "Then, let's be rude first."

"No, no, where, where!" Under the flattering smile, the greed in the servant's heart was fed by the young man's "ignorance of world affairs". "...Next time, let me find some interesting games, Master Xiuzhi, Miss Xuezhi."

"Well, let's play together next time, Mr. Shimoda!" Tsushima Yukie smiled sweetly, and waved to the man carefree, "Goodbye!"

After the siblings returned to their room, Tsushima Xuezhi hung on his lap like a koala, and asked, "My lord brother is lying, we obviously don't have class today!"

How could Shuji Tsushima have a flaw in this kind of thing? He put up the screen of his mobile phone for the girl to see.The text message on the screen showed that it had been sent, and it said that the boy was eager to learn and seek knowledge, so he applied for an extra class from the flower arrangement teacher.

"Ah! My brother is mean-spirited! Xuezhi, don't add extra classes, don't!"

Shuji Tsushima, who could complete the homework of the flower arrangement class with his eyes closed, pressed her head and said with a smile, "No, this is punishment."

"…punish?"

"Well, because you trusted the rest of the family, right, Xue? We agreed that the only person you can trust in this family is me. Because only my brother will protect the stupid Xue."

Tsushima Xuezhi seemed to understand, and nodded in agreement, "Okay, I don't trust others."

"Hmm. Then, you have to remember everything I said next... If you remember clearly, brother can help you with today's homework."

"I'm learning! I'm learning! I'm good at reciting things!"

"Listen, if someone touches you casually, you're going to—"

Facts have proved that what Shuji Tsushima said has always been correct, and there are traces to follow.

On that day two days later, there were no adults in Tsushima's house, not even the elder brothers and sisters.Tsushima Yukie, who had just finished the etiquette class, was wearing a kimono that was inconvenient to move, kneeling and sitting in the Japanese room in an orderly manner, moving her numb hands and feet.

The servant Shimoda who said he wanted to take her to play that day appeared again.

He spoke sweet words that Yuki Tsushima couldn't understand, and he confuses the girl's thinking with an attitude that seduces women.He held the little girl's tender little hands, and his eyes kept digging into her sleeves and collar like hooks.

This person is the bad guy that my brother said, and I can't believe it.

The male servant Shimoda didn't notice that the girl who was staring at him was like a weird puppet often seen in ghost stories, smiling at him.

My brother said that the bad guys will be punished.

"Mr. Shimoda, you hurt me." The girl said softly.

Looking at the cute Tsushima Yukie, the male servant subconsciously let go of her hand, and rubbed the red marks on the back of her hand with his fingertips piously, "Big brother is wrong, I was not careful, I should be lighter, okay?" ?”

"Ok!"

The male servant let go of his hand contentedly, because he didn't think that the innocent and lovely 'Kaguya Hime' in his heart would make a move against him.But to the astonishment of the servant, the first thing Tsushima Yukie did after regaining his freedom was to smash the vase next to the low cabinet.

The expensive vase fell to the ground, and the delicately burnt cherry tree pattern was torn apart and splashed everywhere on the dark floor.

My brother will come to pick me up from get out of class.

The next class is for the flower arrangement teacher.

The flower arrangement teacher is... from a well-known scholarly family?She can't stand others doing bad things.

These three sentences flashed in the girl's mind. She looked at the broken pieces of porcelain under her feet, then lifted her foot gently, and stepped on one of them.Because of her indifferent expression, the girl's eyes seemed to have turned into two glass beads without mechanism.She looked at the manservant without even frowning at the stinging pain in her foot.

Unlike her delicate appearance, she seems to be born very good at enduring pain.

"What are you doing!" the manservant widened his eyes in horror, "quick, let me see your feet!"

"Don't touch me!" the girl yelled in the loudest voice, panic, holding another, smaller vase, and crouched in the shadow by the cabinet.

There were already footsteps coming from the corridor outside the door. After the girl's voice fell, the people outside immediately quickened their pace and rushed in.The elderly flower arrangement teacher looked at the scene in front of him, and raised his brows angrily after a brief moment of stupefaction.

"What are you doing to my students!"

——This is why Shuji Tsushima likes the flower arrangement class the most. This teacher is an old woman with a background, who likes children and is kind.

The manservant panicked, he was still pinching the girl's ankle, and explained in a panic: "Yes, it was Missy who accidentally knocked over the vase, let me see how her feet are doing."

Hearing this, the flower arrangement teacher frowned even tighter, with an expression of surprise and uncertainty.

"What's the matter?" Shuji Tsushima arrived just in time.

Seeing her brother, the girl who had been huddling there and not even daring to move finally reacted.With tears in her eyes, she opened her arms to her brother, wanting him to take her away in horror.

"Brother, brother! Huh, I don't want... I want my brother!"

Shuji Tsushima's face changed drastically, he rushed to the younger sister in a hurry, and hugged the crying younger sister tightly in his arms.

He himself is just a boy in his early ten years old, and he has no ability to resist when facing an adult servant.Shuji Tsushima hugged his younger sister who was still dripping blood under the feet and hid behind the teacher, pinching the teacher's sleeve shyly.

"...Old, teacher." Shuji Tsushima's eyes were dilated due to panic, and he said incoherent words, "I only know him, he wants property...why, why did he hurt my sister."

Seeing these adorable brothers and sisters, the flower arrangement teacher's expression softened: "Don't be afraid, Xiuzhi, don't be afraid. Come on, quickly take the snow branch to bandage the wound, it won't be good if there are scars on your feet .”

Shuji Tsushima nodded quickly, "I, I see, thank you, teacher! Thank you for being here, otherwise we wouldn't know what to do."

All the excuses made by the servant Shimoda were useless. No one believed that the little girl broke the vase on her own initiative, and no one believed that she stepped on the broken pieces and hurt herself.

He was dragged away in a daze, and at the end of the crowd, the servant Shimoda saw the Tsushima brothers and sisters hugging each other.

In the dimly lit room, the girl's honey-golden pupils looked a little darker, and from a distance, the color was actually somewhat similar to her brother's iris-colored pupils.The similarly shaped eyes of the two of them were bent into the same arc, and they looked at him who was extremely embarrassed with the same emotionless gaze.

too frightening.

This short but most straightforward exclamation emerged from the bottom of the manservant's heart.

It's terrible, is it really just a pair of siblings who are just over 15 years old standing there?It turned out that he was not a hunter from the very beginning, but the prey chosen by the boy!It is a simple teaching aid!

"Brother, is Xue doing well?"

"It's not too late, even if you want to use a bitter trick, you have to choose a good prop. This piece of porcelain is too small... Look, it's a little bit embedded, right?"

"Woooooo, it hurts!"

"How do you know it hurts to cry?"

"Because my brother loves me!"

Shuji Tsushima could see the happiness of his sister because he was closer to him, but Yuki Tsushima couldn't see the entanglement of his brother at this moment.He is happy because he can scribble on the white paper at will, but at the same time, he is at a loss because his sister is more and more like him.

Then, at the age of 12, Shuji Tsushima died in love with a woman for the first time.

He couldn't remember what the woman's full name was.Shuji Tsushima only remembered her as Tanabe, a disheartened waitress who had escaped from Ginza.But the result later was very dramatic. The woman died, but he survived and was successfully salvaged from the lower reaches of the river.

Shuji Tsushima was sent home drenched, so young that everyone thought he was tricked by the other party.No one guessed that it was the 12-year-old boy who coaxed the woman who was determined to die, and strengthened her idea of ​​entering the water.

Because this incident was really embarrassing, Tsushima Shuji was scolded by his father Tsushima Genemon after returning home.The skinny boy knelt in the corridor, lowered his head, let his father scold him gloomyly.

When it was late at night, the boy who had finished the corporal punishment dragged his icy body back to his room step by step.The light was on in his bedroom because his sister was waiting for him in the room.

Seeing his elder brother who was pale and his clothes were still dripping, Tsushima Yukie hurriedly dragged a bath towel and wrapped it around him.He climbed into the closet to find clean clothes, and pushed him to the bathroom to take a bath to warm himself up.

Shuji Tsushima squatted in the bathtub, feeling his body, which had become like an ice cube due to the cold wind blowing for too long, gradually warming up.But he could feel that there was a big hole in his heart, and something warm was slipping away from there, flowing down the sewer into the dirty sewage.

How funny that even death refuses to embrace me.Ms. Tanabe is right, I am also a fallen person who is born to die.

The boy walked out of the bathroom expressionlessly, and was greeted by his sister's arms.The young girl held her brother's head in her arms, let him rest on her lap, imitated her brother's movements awkwardly, and wiped his dripping hair.

Once, again, her slender fingers touched the top of the boy's head, carving a fiery brand on his skin.

Shuji Tsushima smiled and said, "Let's go to Huangquan together, Yuki. As long as I'm there, I will be able to love you forever and make you happy."

"Why? I think I'm very happy now." The girl rejected him ignorantly, "If you die, your body will become colder than it is now. In that case, my brother and I won't be able to hug each other to keep warm!"

Innocent, cute, ignorant, and lovable girl, she probably will never understand that when she uttered the words of rejection, her elder brother had already made up her mind to abandon her.

When Yuki Tsushima was seven years old and Shuji Tsushima was 13 years old, the boy left home late at night and went to a place where no one knew him.

The teenager has suffered, but only in the first few days.Shuji Tsushima is probably born to be free, and his wisdom allows him to feel like a fish in water in any unfamiliar environment.

He sighed loudly on the edge of the Tsurumi River in Yokohama for the beautiful scenery, and then jumped into the water without hesitation.Kind-hearted people picked him up and sent him to some black-hearted doctor.After that, the boy who had been using Osamu Dazai as his pseudonym completely changed his name and surname, and had a new identity in the Family Registration Division.

——Until Dazai Osamu was 21 years old and Tsushima Yukie was 15 years old, everything was over.

Without the company and support of the kind-hearted Mr. Kashiwamura Ichiro, the girl couldn't open her heart, and naturally she couldn't have a heart-to-heart relationship with Momoi Mayzuki.

After transferring to Bingsheng, although she joined the discipline committee, no one wanted to get close to this girl with a hollow and hypocritical smile.

She is like an empty symbol, always standing on the edge of the crowd, watching people's joys and sorrows.

Finally, the girl who lived as a puppet and a bird in a cage could no longer support herself, and she jumped from a tall building during the sunny cherry blossom season.

She has hardly seen the sea in her life, so in the end, the girl chose a city near the sea as her final resting place.She happily took the Shinkansen, and under the trick of fate, she set foot on the land of Yokohama.

It was the first time Tsushima Yuki heard a real siren, went to an aquarium for the first time, and went to an amusement park for the first time.When the park closed, she squeezed the ice cream that had already started to melt, and the smile on her face also melted.

Let's go.

The girl said to herself.

Tsushima Yukie seems to be deciding on a long trip, choosing his favorite abandoned building with ease and joy.

thump.

After the sound passed, everything was over.

The girl fell among the withered cherry blossom petals, her limbs were twisted, and half of her face next to the ground was almost out of shape.But she was laughing, laughing so innocently and naively.

Many people saw her last portrait in the local newspapers in Yokohama.Most people would express their disapproval and pity for her suicide, and the gravitational force of portmafia would shake their heads regretfully when they saw this photo by accident.

Of course Osamu Dazai saw it too.

He used to think that he would be happy because of his sister's death, but when this fact was really presented to him, the smile on the man's face even made Kunikida Doppo feel a chill down his back.

There are some mistakes that cannot be undone from the very beginning.

In the spring of 21, Osamu Dazai's younger sister died.Because the heart of Inari Daimyojin, the ancient good god, was ashamed, the gods of Takamahara closed the gate of the kingdom of God in anger.Since then, no gods or angels can descend on this 'dirty and terrible' world.

Tsushima Yukie can't come back, and Oda Sakunosuke, who has already become her divine envoy, is also impossible to return to the world.

As an envoy of God, he will not be reincarnated, and can only stay above the nine heavens forever, looking at the world with regret.

Until one day, Osamu Dazai, who was visiting Inari Shrine with his colleagues for the New Year, heard the voice of a girl whispering in his ear.

He had never heard the voice of his younger sister when he grew up, but in that crisp but numb and cold voice, he could still distinguish the childish voice of the child when he was a child.

[I hate you, I curse you. 】

[But you are the only person in the world who loves Xuezhi and remembers Xuezhi. 】

[So I will take care of you, and from now on, the gate of the underworld will never be opened to you again. 】

[Please hate me as much as you want, brother. 】

Until many years later, Inari, who was sitting on the altar, saw another self.She was so young and immature, standing in the dim shrine, looking around with light and warmth in her eyes.

At any moment, she wrote such a passage on the altar with her fingertips.

'In this world, whether you look to the left or to the right, no matter which side you look at, the scenery is the same.There is nothing but pain.That being the case, it is better to go back. '

Then she saw it, and that self showed a disapproving expression.

"Ah... In this world, there is still a possibility for me to be happy, but my weakness made me lose everything!" Inari God covered his face with his sleeves, and wept mournfully on the high platform.

"What have I done... I cursed my innocent brother, and I hated him like that for ten years."

"Save him, save my favorite brother! If you are the only one who has achieved happiness, can you give me even a glimmer of hope?"

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The author has something to say:

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After thinking about it, I still threw out this chapter first.Explain about the parallel world, and why Xuezhi in the parallel world must save the demigod Xuezhi.Compared with what Parallel Zai said, she wanted to pursue a perfect ending to the story, but she actually wanted to save herself more.

…感谢在2021-02-0718:02:35~2021-02-0817:19:28期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel of irrigation nutrient solution: 2 bottles of Sanqiao ink;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!