you have to talk to me

Early the next morning, there was a knock on the door, Feng Jimeng opened his eyes, and came in with a sleepy voice. After speaking, he pulled the quilt up to cover his face, only his eyes were exposed.

Yang Fan twisted the door and came in, looking in good spirits, with wet hair just washed, clean-shaven, and an apron around his waist.

He lowered his eyes to look at Feng Jimeng: "Get up and have breakfast."

Feng Jimeng looked at Yang Fan's face, and it seemed that he had returned to normal.He breathed a sigh of relief, and decided to forgive his demented behavior last night, and then felt a little ashamed, buried most of his face under the quilt and let out a "huh".

"Hurry up, you're going to be late for school." Yang Fan said as he walked out, and when he got to the door, he turned around suddenly, his face was a little embarrassed, "I...was broken last night, so I shouldn't have done anything bad, right?"

"...No, I just vomit a lot."

Feng Jimeng also hid his face in the quilt, he obviously saw Yang Fan's tense expression relax, he really couldn't remember anything.This is also good, Yang Fan probably doesn't want to be seen by others for his gaffe, but Feng Jimeng is inevitably a little bit disappointed.

"I went to the store, and they asked me to bring you the key." Feng Jimeng explained again.

"Well," Yang Fan smiled embarrassedly: "It's really embarrassing, I let you see it after drinking like that."

"It's nothing."

"Thank you last night." After he finished speaking, he closed the door and went out first.

After walking outside the door, Yang Fan breathed a sigh of relief.He hadn't been so drunk to death for many years. When he woke up, besides his brain throbbing with pain, there was also a big blank in his memory.

The death of a loved one is a bit like being stabbed suddenly. At the time of the injury, I was terrified. I was only concerned about stopping the bleeding and going to the hospital, but I was very slow to feel the pain.Only when the dust settles and everything is quiet, the fresh wound will go from aching to unbearable.

Knowing that the departure of a loved one is not the moment when she really left, but from more subtle traces, such as a more empty and quiet room, such as the old sofa with the empty cushion sunken, such as the dust covered The TV remote control... Yang Fan felt it carefully and endured it silently.Until the night before, when the bell on the opposite door rang twice, Yang Fan rubbed his eyes reflexively, got up from the bed, and walked to the door of the opposite room in the dark.

"Grandma, do you want to go to the toilet? Don't worry, I'll help you up."

Yang Fan stretched his hand forward, but he didn't grab anything.He subconsciously turned on the light, and Xiao Hua squatted on her grandma's bed, and gave him a "meow".

At that moment, the word "death" suddenly rose from the ground and rushed towards him like a raging tide. The fact that grandma left him forever finally gave him the heaviest blow in this lonely night.

When the pain is too severe to bear, people will choose to escape.Yang Fan escaped with alcohol. He started drinking cans of beer, but he couldn't get drunk no matter what. He also drank all kinds of foreign wine and white wine that Yu Gang sent him over the years. He didn't know when he got drunk. Also do not know so back to the room.All he knew was that when he woke up in his own bed in the morning, everything was terrible.

Yang Fan pressed his throbbing temples, and went straight to the refrigerator with his slippers to get another can of beer. When he opened the can, he caught a glimpse of the familiar schoolbag on the sofa, and then found that the cigarette butts and empty wine bottles on the coffee table were gone. .Yang Fan put the beer back in the refrigerator, turned around and went to the bathroom, took a shower, shaved, took another painkiller, and went to the kitchen.

--

After Feng Jimeng finished washing, he opened the collar of his T-shirt in front of the mirror in the bathroom. There was a circle of clear bruise teeth marks at the junction of the shoulder and neck, printed on his excessively fair skin, which looked a little shocking.He checked the rest of the neck carefully, and there seemed to be no obvious marks.He had his tracksuit jacket zipped all the way, the collar completely hidden from his neck.I have to buy band-aids later, otherwise I won't be able to practice in the afternoon.

"Aren't they ready yet? The dumplings are soaked." Yang Fan urged outside the door.

"All right."

Feng Jimeng went straight to the table and started to eat the dumplings with her head buried.

Yang Fan had already finished eating, so he sat across the dining table and peeled an egg for him, threw it into a bowl, then peeled an apple, and said to Feng Jimeng while gnawing on the apple: "It's obviously a bowl of sour soup dumplings that are absolutely delicious, I blame you Slow down, it doesn't taste good now."

"delicious."

Feng Jimeng ate, he was already very hungry.I didn't eat last night. After serving Yang Fan, he vomited and washed, dragged him to the bed, and listened to him moaning and moaning for a while. After he really fell asleep, Feng Jimeng finally had the breath to eat. He opened the refrigerator, only to find that It was empty except for beer cans.Finally, he found two cakes that were about to expire under the coffee table and used them for the night.

Feng Jimeng finished eating quickly, and looked at the time, it was getting late.He picked up his schoolbag and said to Yang Fan who was in the kitchen, "Brother, I'm leaving."

"Wait," Yang Fan came out wiping his hands, gave Feng Jimeng the peeled apples on the dining table, took another carton of milk and stuffed it into his bag, grabbed the car keys on the coffee table, "I'll see you off."

"Need not."

"There are still 10 minutes. Do you want to be late?"

"I'll run faster."

The distance on the map is three kilometers, but the shortcut in the community is only a little over one kilometer, so Feng Jimeng has enough time to run fast.

"I just ate and running is bad for my stomach, let's go."

Feng Jimeng sat in the car, biting an apple and chewing slowly, while watching Yang Fan who was driving in the driver's seat.

He leisurely put one hand on the steering wheel and the other arm on the car window. He seemed to be in a good mood, and it was completely impossible to see that he had collapsed like last night.

"Is it so good-looking? It's been so long?" Yang Fan turned his head and gave Feng Jimeng a naughty smile.

"What?" After asking, he knew what Yang Fan was referring to, Feng Jimeng immediately averted his eyes, and then realized that Yang Fan was deliberately teasing him, including that playful smile, Feng Jimeng's ears turned red.

He had nothing to say: "Are you free to watch the volleyball match on May 5th and 4th?"

"Can you win? If I can win, I will come. If I can't, forget it. I don't want to see the people I teach being pinned down and beaten."

After eating the apple, Feng Jimeng drank milk with a straw in his mouth.

"It should be possible. We won the second place in the practice match. Jian Hang and Hou Wen both had a cold and didn't play that day."

"That's fine." Yang Fan looked at Feng Jimeng several times, and asked again, "Will it affect your performance if I come to watch you play?"

"Ok?"

"Like making you nervous or something."

Feng Jimeng looked at Yang Fan in surprise: "No, why are you nervous."

"Well, that's fine."

Yang Fan suddenly discovered that this kid's psychological quality was a little different from ordinary people.From his poor singing skills to singing a cappella in public at KTV, being able to write homework at the entrance of the ICU, and being able to listen to video lessons at the old lady's funeral, Yang Fan discovered that Feng Jimeng had a temperament that was different from ordinary people. It was a detached demeanor, as if the sky was falling, and he could face it calmly.Of course, some aspects may be too slow.

But his calmness and calmness gave Yang Fan an inexplicable psychological strength. When he was restless, seeing him by his side would calm down those frizzy emotions a lot at once.Feng Jimeng is like a pool of cold and quiet spring water, as if it can swallow all the noise and hustle and bustle of this world.

When the car arrived at the school gate, Feng Jimeng quickly picked up his schoolbag and opened the door to get off, but Yang Fan stopped him when he closed the door with his backhand.

"Feng Jimeng, are you free tonight?"

"There is training today."

"I mean after training."

"That's all right."

Before Yang Fan spoke again, he suddenly paused.This short pause baffled Feng Jimeng, he tilted his head, as if asking what was wrong with his eyes.

"Let's have dinner together in the evening, and I'll pick you up after you finish training."

"No, I'll just come to the store and find you."

"I'll come to pick you up when I say they come to pick you up. It's not cute at all if you don't use this or that."

"...???"

"Go in, we're going to be late." Yang Fan leaned over, rubbed Feng Jimeng's head, closed the car door, and walked away.

Feng Jimeng was still a little dazed, feeling that Yang Fan was different today, but he hadn't figured out why, before the bell rang, he ran to the classroom.

When he went out after training in the evening, Yang Fan's car had already parked at the back gate of the school.Feng Jimeng pretended to wait for the car with Zhang Jiarui, and then sneaked over to Yang Fan's car after seeing him off.

Yang Fan started the accelerator, and asked Feng Jimeng: "Didn't you see my car a long time ago, why did you dawdle for so long?"

"Let Zhang Jiarui go first."

"Afraid that he will see it?"

Feng Jimeng nodded, mainly because he was afraid that Zhang Jiarui would coax him, and it would be very troublesome to explain this and that.

Yang Fan felt a little unhappy, he wondered if Feng Jimeng would not dare to admit his orientation to others in the future.But soon he felt that he was a bit too much. He was still a student, and this request was too difficult for him.

"It doesn't matter if he sees it, he knows we have a good relationship."

"He knows I'm gay."

Yang Fan was so startled that he almost stepped on the brakes.

"He also knows that I like you."

Yang Fanzhen stepped on the brake, the car shook, Feng Jimeng subconsciously turned to look at him, but Yang Fan quickly adjusted his mood and continued to drive forward.

Feng Jimeng didn't notice that he just said he liked Yang Fan again, and continued Zhang Jiarui's topic: "He said he wouldn't tell others. But I think it's okay for him to tell others, I don't really care about it."

"Aren't you afraid that others will gossip about you?"

"You can talk or not. Anyway, some people gossip about me."

Yang Fan thought about it, and it seems that this is indeed the case. Feng Jimeng is obviously quite autistic, but unexpectedly he is very famous in Hong Zhong.

"Aren't you afraid that your parents will know?"

"Afraid of trouble, they really have nothing to do if they want to know."

Yang Fan found himself worrying for nothing, but according to Feng Jimeng's personality, this kind of answer should be expected.

"How did Zhang Jiarui react when he found out?"

"I'm a little surprised, there are so many questions, and he doesn't mind that the person I like is not him."

"Hahaha," Yang Fan laughed, "it's nice to have such a nonchalant friend."

"Ah."

The two chatted with Zhang Jiarui for a while, and the car soon arrived at Hongcheng Wetland Park.It was already dark, and the park was empty. The moist wind with the smell of water was blowing on the face, and the world was extraordinarily quiet.

Feng Jimeng didn't expect that the place to eat was in the Wetland Park, he thought he was going to eat skewers with the staff in the store, but Yang Fan took him straight to the bookstore where they met offline for the first time.

The bookstore was closed, but Yang Fan took out the key to open the door, went in and turned on the light.

Feng Jimeng looked around, but he didn't see anything.

"Isn't this a place to eat?"

Yang Fan put the key on the bar: "Come here."

Feng Jimeng followed him around the bar, there was a hidden door, and there was a small kitchen inside.

Yang Fan washed his hands, turned on the induction cooker, and the mushroom cream soup that had been boiled, the aroma quickly dissipated during the heating process.Yang Fan set up a new frying pan, took two pieces of fresh steak from the refrigerator, and asked Feng Jimeng, "How cooked are you?"

"I can do it."

"Then it's seven points like me."

Yang Fan rolled up his sleeves and skillfully fried the steak, chopping and chopping various side dishes.After the mushroom soup was ready, he boiled a new pot of water to cook the pasta.

"do you need my help?"

"Can you peel shrimp?"

"It should be."

Yang Fan stood a little inside, leaving a place for Feng Jimeng, gave him a bag of fresh shrimp, and gave him a pair of disposable gloves: "Put on the peel, don't prick your hands."

"Oh."

The small kitchen was really crowded, and two tall men bumped into each other, touching each other from time to time, giving them a sense of intimacy and warmth.

After half an hour, the food was ready, and Yang Fan pretended to set a plate.He carried two large trays to the small courtyard behind the bookstore, and placed the trays on the wrought iron rattan table.The lights in the small courtyard were dim, and Yang Fan deliberately took out another floor lamp from the bookstore.

The cool breeze is blowing, and the aroma of food spreads in the nose.Feng Jimeng played golf for several hours, and was already starving. He started eating delicious food, no matter it was the quiet and beautiful environment, or Yang Fan's meticulous preparation, he didn't notice anything.

Yang Fan looked at the person in front of him gobbling it up, with eyes full of flesh and nothing else, and he couldn't help but laugh.She keeps saying that she likes him, but at the end of the day, she only cares about food.

Yang Fan was not in a hurry to eat, but lit a cigarette, and while smoking slowly, propped his head up to watch Feng Jimeng eat.He likes to watch Feng Jimeng eat. He eats deliciously and methodically every bite. He will eat everything on the plate, which makes people very appetizing. It also reminds Yang Fan of his seventeen or eighteen years old, full of When the vitality buries its head and eats fiercely.

"Is it enough?"

With a cigarette in his mouth, Yang Fan picked up the plate and gave half of the beef to Feng Jimeng.

"I'm about the same." After eating a plate of pasta and most of the steak, Feng Jimeng slowed down after the feeling of hunger was dispelled, and divided the thick steak into smaller pieces, forked it into his mouth and chewed slowly.

"Why don't you eat? You gave it to me, is it enough?"

"Enough, I just ate the fried chicken they bought at the store."

"Oh." Feng Jimeng was not polite, and buried his head in eating again.

Yang Fan suddenly felt that it would be good to have such a person to accompany him to eat all the time. Life is not just three meals a day, if every meal can be eaten comfortably and happily, then life will definitely be good.

After eating, Feng Jimeng stroked her bulging belly.His belly was relieved, and he was suddenly a little embarrassed: "Did I eat a little too much?"

"Almost, I can eat like this at your age."

"Oh."

Yang Fan put away the bowls and chopsticks: "Go, I'll take you home."

"I don't really want to go back right now."

At this moment, he finally noticed how quiet and beautiful this place was. When the night wind blew by, the reed leaves in the water rustled, and occasionally one or two crickets and frogs chirped.Only then did he notice that he was alone with Yang Fan, the night wind, reeds, insects singing... There was a touch of romance in the silence, it seemed like a lover's tryst.

The wind wrapped in water vapor suddenly became sweet.

In order to have a reason to stay with Yang Fan longer, Feng Jimeng took out his homework, and he planned to finish it here.

Yang Fan didn't say anything to his unreasonable proposal, found a book from the bookstore, and read it with his legs crossed beside Feng Jimeng.

The two were doing their own things quietly, and the time passed quietly between them. The bright yellow light of the floor lamp seemed to add a little warmth to the night.But the night was getting late, and a gust of wind blew across the vast water surface, Feng Jimeng still subconsciously rubbed his arms, and soon, a coat with body temperature and a faint smell of tobacco was placed on his shoulders.

Feng Jimeng raised his eyes to look at Yang Fan, Yang Fan raised his chin at his paper: "I'm not cold, you write yours."

Feng Jimeng buried her head in writing a few words, then suddenly raised her head and said to Yang Fan: "Brother, I know you are sad when grandma is gone, tell me when you are sad... I am not very good at comforting people, but I will Listen to what you say."

Yang Fan looked at him for a while, his eyes flickered with Feng Jimeng's incomprehensible emotions, he wondered if he had said too much, like what Yu Gang said, he didn't consider the face of a grown man.

Yang Fan's gaze softened when he saw him, and he put his hand on top of Feng Jimeng's head, then slid to the side of his face, gently pinching his earlobe.

"Okay, I'll tell you."

Feng Jimeng shrank her neck so itchy, dodged Yang Fan's hand, her face immediately felt a little hot.

When he buried his head between the homework papers again, he thought, it would be nice if time stayed in the present forever.