you have to talk to me

A bowl of boiled porridge is thinly dotted with green vegetable leaves and white minced meat.Yang Fan stirred it with a spoon, took up half a spoonful, fed it into the old lady's mouth, and gently lifted her chin with his hand to help her close her mouth quickly.The old lady swallowed, but some flowed out from the corner of her mouth.Yang Fan wiped her mouth with a towel, and after waiting for a while, she finished swallowing before feeding the second spoonful.

Feng Jimeng unconsciously followed the old lady to swallow. The soreness in her heart was getting stronger and stronger. Not long ago, her grandmother enthusiastically called him "Xiaolin", peeled oranges for him and stuffed them into cakes, and warmed them with dry is holding his hand.

"Is grandma's throat sick?"

"No, she almost forgot how to eat." Yang Fan said flatly, and quickly fed grandma another spoonful.

Feng Jimeng's throat was blocked for a while, he didn't know what to say, so he continued to look down at the books on the table.

"Go and write at the dinner table, aren't you tired from squatting like this?"

Feng Jimeng squatted in the gap between the sofa and the coffee table, he shrank himself into the narrow gap, but felt very comfortable.

"I'm not tired, it's very comfortable."

"Get up if you're not tired," Yang Fan kicked him, "Don't fail to study well, and damage your eyes and neck."

Feng Jimeng stood up from the gap and packed up the books, "I can do well in my studies."

"If you can do it well, go to the table over there and do it."

Feng Jimeng reluctantly squeezed to the other side of the sofa, when passing by his grandma, the old lady suddenly pulled him by the hem of his clothes, murmured something unclear in her throat, and she didn't know who she was calling.

He immediately grabbed the old lady's hand, leaned on her sofa, and called "grandma" several times in succession, but grandma ignored him.

Feng Wenhui came out with washed hair and clothes, and sent them to the washing machine on the balcony.She wiped her hands, took the rice bowl from Yang Fan, and the two started feeding together.

After lunch that day, grandma took a nap.Feng Wenhui asked Yang Fan to take Feng Jimeng out to play.

"Grandma, I think it is, you take Xiao Feng out to play for a while."

Yang Fan slumped on the sofa and watched TV. He was wearing a polar fleece house jacket with a stand-up collar. Most of his chin was buried in the collar, and his hands were in his pockets. He looked a little tired.

"No, what is the old lady going to the toilet, you can't move her."

Feng Wenhui pulled out a ball of wool from her bag and started knitting. She didn't care about the work at hand, but the needles picked quickly.

"It can be moved, it weighs more than a hundred catties, and I can also move him." Feng Wenhui glanced at Yang Fan earnestly, "Listen to elder sister, go out and play, the patient will be happy only if you are happy, you know? .”

"You used to go out with your friends all the time, why don't you go out recently? Go for it, don't always face a patient, you can't stand it."

Hearing these words, Yang Fan jumped up and sat up a little more. He asked, "Sister Feng, how did you persist on your own for so many years?"

"That's the one. When Dacheng was young, I sent him to an institution for training. An expert who was doing the training told me that, if you can focus on your own feelings, you should focus on yourself. You should relax and don't let the patient feel pressured. Break you." After finishing speaking, Feng Wenhui smiled embarrassingly, "The organization is the eldest sister who told me the truth, but I can't explain her so well as an expert."

Yang Fan looked at her for a while, "You speak very well."

He stood up, went back to the room, changed his clothes several times, turtleneck sweater and leather jacket, grabbed the car keys, and knocked on the door of Feng Jimeng's room next door, "Today's weather is not bad, let's go out to play?"

Yang Fan got him a broken desk in this room, Feng Jimeng sat in front of the desk, forcefully suppressed a yawn, almost bursting into tears, stood up, and let out a "huh".

In the elevator, Yang Fan asked Feng Jimeng, "What were you doing just now?"

"Do your homework."

Yang Fan raised one corner of his mouth, sneered and said, "I found that you are quite a person, you can tell a lie without typing a draft." He glanced at him again, "Your face is marked by the creases on your face. It's all gone."

Feng Jimeng wasn't too embarrassed, but he insisted, "Then you still ask if you know, because you want to hear me lie."

"Yes, that's right. Not only do I want to listen, but I also want to learn how to panic without blushing or heartbeat."

You can't talk about it, Feng Jimeng doesn't bother to talk to him.

Yang Fan asked again, "Why don't you go to bed?"

Speaking of "sleeping", Feng Jimeng yawned again, "I'm too lazy to take off my clothes." She dressed thickly in winter, and it was chilly when she first entered the bed.

"Ha, why don't you hibernate yet?"

"I want to hibernate too." They just got off the elevator, and there was wind in the passageway of the elevator, Feng Jimeng shrunk his neck vigorously, wishing to tuck his head into the stand-up collar of the down jacket.

Walking out of the building, the sun is shining outside, and it is warm on the body, and the wind is a bit cool, but it is no longer biting.

"Stop hibernating, spring is already here."

They went to the largest square in Hongcheng - Hongfu Square.

It’s a rare sunny day in winter. The square is full of people who come out for a walk to bask in the sun. Old men and women lead their children, young people lead their dogs, and small vendors lead balloon toys. It’s very lively.

They also found a bench and sat down. Yang Fan spread his arms on the back of the chair and squinted his eyes to bask in the sun.Feng Jimeng moved aside relying on the shade of the tree, he didn't like to face the sun so directly.

He saw a young couple passing by him, each holding a cup of ice cream, enjoying themselves while eating, Yu Di said to Yang Fan, "I want to eat ice cream."

"Go buy it."

"Do you eat?"

Yang Fan hesitated for two seconds, "Eat."

On February [-]th of the new calendar, the glass window of the dessert shop has posted pink promotional information - the second cup of lover's whirlwind cup is half price, hayvalente"sday!

Feng Jimeng chose chocolate flavor and strawberry flavor. It was a big box, full of two cups, filled with chocolate beans and fresh strawberries, and directly held it in his hand to freeze.A little girl in the clerk gave him an idea with a smile, "Call your girlfriend over to help."

Feng Jimeng's ears turned red, and he whispered, "He's basking in the sun, I'll just take it."

"Then I'll put paper on it for you." The clerk put a layer of paper on his hand, and put the box on his hand, "You are so kind to your girlfriend."

Feng Jimeng let out a "hmm" and left with two boxes.

He passed the strawberry flavor to Yang Fan.Yang Fan looked around and pointed to his other hand, "I eat chocolate."

"alright."

Feng Jimeng dug into the ice cream, and felt that the strawberry flavor was actually pretty good, but she still liked chocolate more, and she was willing to give it up to Yang Fan. This is not the case with girlfriends and boyfriends.If Yang Fan's him were her boyfriend, he would be so nice.

Wandering aimlessly, basking in the sun, chatting with each other, and eating ice cream together, he thinks this is a date, and a date should be like this.The ice cream is sweet and cold, it melts when it enters the mouth, but it becomes hot when swallowed, otherwise why does he feel that his face is getting hotter and hotter, and his brain seems to be stuffed and warmed by the sun.

After eating the ice cream, they wandered along the Hongcheng River again.The first willow tree to feel the breath of spring is the plant, the leaves have not yet come out, the soft branches have already formed buds, and the willow branches are heavy, hanging like a tree is a curtain, and the wind blows by , just shake slightly.

Feng Jimeng still remembered that night by the river, Yang Fan refused him but also hugged him.At this time, Yang Fan was standing by the river, with one hand in his pocket and a cigarette in the other, looking at the direction of the river, his face was calm and sad.

Feng Jimeng moved closer, followed Yang Fan's gaze, and asked, "Is there no way for grandma to be cured?"

Yang Fan shook his head.

Not only can it not be cured, but everything will only get worse. Now grandma has difficulty speaking, and swallowing is also difficult to complete. Soon, she will be completely disabled and can only insert a gastric tube and nasal feeding.Recently, Yang Fan often thinks about the meaning of life. If there is nothing to do and no happiness in life, those treatments will only bring endless pain. If grandma could choose, what would she choose.She will be more afraid of pain, and even more afraid of death.

Every time he thinks of this—grandma may not live for too long, Yang Fan feels very sad.The doctor said that it will only be two or three years at most, provided there are no other physical problems, and my grandma has a lot of physical illnesses.

When he was about to graduate from university, he had already found a good job in Beijing. During his university days, the band with his friend group gradually became famous in the small circle. Everything was as he imagined for the future, which was full of challenges and surprises. Life.

When he returned home during the Spring Festival that year, he only found that his grandma was a little forgetful, and her grandma insisted that she was fine, so he returned to Beijing.A few months later, I went home again, only to find that my grandma had been sent to a nursing home in Hongcheng by his aunt and uncle.He went to the nursing home and saw that she was skinny to the bone, and her clothes were so dirty that she couldn't see her true colors. He had already forgotten who his old lady was.

His mother had gradually faded in his memory, and his father had no news of running away with the money. Even if he had, Yang Fan would not recognize him.The most difficult and rebellious time in his life was spent by his grandmother with him, and by his old lady who brought him up, and he spent two cents of his money, and used the saved retirement salary to pay for his college education.Without hesitation, Yang Fan gave up his otherwise wonderful life and returned to Hongcheng.

This year has been his eighth year of taking care of his grandma, and he has also changed from a boy in his early twenties to a man in his 30s.But whether he is a rebellious teenager in his teens or a mature man in his 30s, his attachment to the old lady has not diminished in the slightest.This is the only person in this world who loves him, even though she can't remember anything, she occasionally remembers that everything has to do with him - to study hard, to eat well at school, to be with friends Get along well... I can't remember who he is, but I still know "Xiao Fan", forget everything, but I don't forget to love him.

"Grandma is very happy."

Yang Fan stubbed out the cigarette, turned to look at Feng Jimeng.

"If grandma still knows things and can talk, she will say she is very happy." Feng Jimeng thought that grandma Yang should be much happier than his grandma, even though his father is rich.

"Ah."

"When people die, they will go to a certain place, where they will wait for their family and friends, waiting to be reunited together." Feng Jimeng looked at Yang Fan, "My grandpa said yes, my grandpa said that my grandma has been waiting for him."