Violence and Pro Guide

Being a king is really a technical job, labor-intensive, all year round, unless you are too sick to get out of bed, you have to stick to the throne all the time, just like a scarecrow watching a wheat field.

The sad thing is that Qiao Dongliang has been on the throne for more than 20 years, but he has never suffered from a single illness!Since the birth of Qiao Maimai, the old man has become an indestructible body of King Kong. He can soak in ice water for three days and three nights naked without sneezing!

"I want to take a vacation!" After the first Gamma Federation executive meeting ended, Qiao Dongliang decided to take a vacation for himself.The average lifespan of a Baker is more than six hundred years old, and a shapeshifter is nearly a thousand years old. As a half-breed, it is pessimistically estimated that he will live to be seven or eight hundred years old. If he becomes a king for seven or eight hundred years, he will sooner or later be given crushed to death.

"However, there is no precedent for the king to take leave." The secretary searched the code, but could not find the procedure for how the king asked for leave.Just kidding, he is a king, who would dare to approve the word "permitted" on his leave slip!

"Then how did the previous kings rest? Wouldn't they all work all day like me?" Qiao Dongliang didn't believe that other people had such a good body.

"Probably...you can rest if you want to rest." The secretary checked the records of the kings of all dynasties, and finally found the problem, "It seems that the previous kings are not as busy as you, so when there is no government affairs, you can rest as you like. For example, your father, the king, only needs to summon the ministers once every ten days, but when there are hundreds of birthdays, he often doesn’t work for a whole year.”

Your father's, it's really cool to be a fool!Qiao Dongliang wanted to vomit blood, King David, you old bastard, you left me such a big mess, I didn’t understand it after more than 20 years, but I was at ease back then!

"Anyway, I want to take a vacation." Competing with the dead is meaningless, Qiao Dongliang waved his hand and said, "Recently, the affairs of the Federation have come to an end, and the specific operations will be carried out by the Prime Minister. I want to take a long vacation with my first mate."

"Okay, Your Majesty." The secretary also felt that His Majesty the King was too hardworking, so he didn't even have time to give birth to a baby. Also too withered.

"Then I will arrange your vacation, and I will give you a plan within three days, and try to arrange all the work at hand." The secretary said faithfully, "Please feel free to go with Mr. First Companion." Take a vacation." Go mate!

After more than 20 years on the throne, Qiao Dongliang finally ushered in a precious holiday, and by the way, Jack also enjoyed the holiday.

"Oh, it's a bit uncomfortable to be idle all of a sudden. What should I do?" Jack is usually busier than him. Qiao Dongliang has the function of a mascot anyway, and sometimes he can just stay there without thinking. Jack is in charge of diplomacy and is full of galaxies all day long. Flying around, dealing with all the super hob meat politicians of the allies, the pressure is not ordinary.

Fortunately, he was abnormally energetic, and it was just right for him to do something that wasn't human affairs.

"Let's go on a trip." Qiao Dongliang flipped through the travel brochure prepared by his secretary, "There are many interesting places in the Gamma galaxy that we haven't been to, or go back to your hometown?"

"Then it's better to go back to Earth." Jack suddenly thought, "You gave birth the first day you went back last time, and then you were confinement. You stayed at home and didn't go out to play."

"Who's in confinement!" Qiao Dongliang said, "I said I don't need to be in confinement, but you must force me to stay at home and hug the nest!"

"Then let's go back to Earth." Jack made a final decision, "It's just the Dragon Boat Festival when we get home after the voyage, and we can still race dragon boats and make zongzi."

Qiao Maimai has grown up and is no longer as clingy as he was when he was a child. Qiao Dongliang entrusted him to Queen Mother Jonas, and told Kafka to watch over his two sons, and never let these three people get together for two days After the above, I packed my luggage with my husband and embarked on a journey back home to visit relatives.

Arriving in Xi'an happened to be the day before the Dragon Boat Festival. Qiao Dazhuang and his wife did not expect their son and daughter-in-law (?) to come back together. They were overjoyed and made rice dumplings and mung bean cakes. , take a good intention.

Qiao's mother is in her [-]s, but her spirit has gotten better and better in the past two years, but she is a little bit addicted to the world of sensual beauty. On the day of Dragon Boat Festival, taking advantage of her husband's absence, she gave her son two tickets to the carnival: "For you two, Don't let your dad know."

"What's this, mom?" Qiao Dongliang looked at it twice, but couldn't see why.

"Oh, if I tell you to go, you can go. If it weren't for the objective conditions that don't allow it, Mom would go by herself." Qiao's mother said mysteriously, "Dress nicely when you go."

Anyway, staying at home is staying at home. After dinner, Qiao Dongliang went to the carnival with Jack in the name of digestion.I didn’t know if I didn’t go, I was taken aback when I went, and walked all the way to the “City That Never Sleeps” according to the address written on the ticket. The couple were completely dumbfounded. What kind of carnival is this? It’s a gay party, okay?

The entire four streets of the city that never sleeps are full of people, men, all of them are dressed up, some are dressed as men, some are dressed as weak, and occasionally I see a girl with long breasts and thighs, who is obviously a fake mother.Qiao Dongliang's eyes were dazzled. Although he married a man and gave birth to a son, he was still upright to a certain extent. It was really unacceptable for such a grand gay melee.

And now he finally understood why his mother said "objective conditions do not allow it".

"Isn't it? Is this a carnival?" Jack was relatively calm, remembering the good things Qiao Dongliang did in Bengchacha more than 20 years ago. A kind of evil deprived her of her virginity.

Crowds of flamboyant men crowded around on the street, licking each other and taking out sex. Qiao Dongliang was dizzy from the crowd, and from time to time, someone touched his chest and pinched his butt, and he would touch his chest and pinch his butt again when he got angry. The weaklings who harassed him screamed.

Jack glared at him, and dragged his unruly wife to a side road that was less crowded. After walking two steps, he encountered a themed parade. More than a dozen newly decorated air float floats slowly approached. Standing on the coser dressed up in various themes, there are traditional classic themes of split peach sleeves, as well as classic danmei works such as "Tomb Raiders Notes" and "Full-time Master", a shirtless muscular and blindfolded demon Tiao Tiao was leaning against a big tree, her figure was so enchanting.

"Yo, isn't that a peony? There are people cosplaying in such an antique online game!" Qiao Dongliang got excited, dragged Jack to follow the floats and looked at each one carefully, and even ignored the security guard's reprimand to climb onto the float and insisted on fighting with the one with the big sword on his back and the unicorn tattoo on his back. The younger brother took a group photo, and was finally kicked down by a burly man in a Nazi uniform, probably the boyfriend of the younger brother COSER.

"Aww! Captain Black Tea!" As a bloody screwdriver fan, Qiao Dongliang had no sense of being disgusted at all. After being kicked down, he found that the person who kicked him was the male protagonist of his favorite comic, and immediately climbed up again without thinking about his own safety. , grabbed the Nazi's neck and shouted at Jack, "Quick! Take a photo with us! This buddy is too restored, he is the real Captain Black Tea!"

Jack has black hair, snapped a photo and dragged his wife off the float before the Nazis beat him to death: "You can almost get me!" So drunk?Or did he get sick from depression after being king for too long?

In order to prevent Qiao Dongliang from continuing to be infatuated, Jack dragged him back to the side of the street.The weather in Xi'an in June was already quite hot, and both of them were sweating. Jack bought two doll head ice creams from the slot machine, handed one to Qiao Dongliang, and they licked and ate it back and forth.

"What's that?" Qiao Dongliang asked vaguely while biting Jack's ice cream. Jack followed his line of sight and looked over. There was a clanging sound.

"This is on the pass, let's go in and have a rest." Qiao Dongliang raised the carnival ticket in his hand, and ran over like a rabbit. When Jack lowered his head, he realized that his ice cream had been bitten off by him, leaving only a piece of wood. Gritting his teeth angrily, he spread his legs and chased after him.

The little boy at the door checked the tickets, opened the wooden door and invited them in. Jack strangled Qiao Dongliang's neck, pushed him forward and knelt against his ass: "Give me back the ice cream!"

"Ah—" Qiao Dongliang turned around and stuck his tongue out of his mouth, handing over the last bite of ice shards, "Is it delicious? No more!"

Jack pinched his neck and shook him twice, pushed open the inner door and walked into the water bar, stepped down the steps, only to hear a bang, and was almost knocked over by the amazing rock music inside!

Obediently, this is not water, it's a rock and roll at all!Qiao Dongliang was also taken aback by the music, and leaned against Jack's chest to inhale: "Fuck, I'm not dreaming, am I? Are we back to Sea Nest?"

The huge circular dance floor was full of people, and a crowd of monsters danced wildly. On a hexagonal stage in the center, five or six young men with disheveled hair and rivet vests were holding all kinds of weird electronic instruments and playing loudly. , white shadows flitted across the air from time to time, some naked men painted with body paint, holding colorful ribbons and flying over the crowd, making all kinds of extremely difficult dance moves.

That frightful night more than 20 years ago flashed into Jack's mind instantly. He grabbed his wife and tried to get out, but more guests rushed over from behind, pushing them into the middle, After a while they were pushed to the side of the stage.

"It's too noisy!" Qiao Dongliang leaned on his ear and said loudly, "I can't take it anymore!"

"Let's get out!" Jack tried his best to push through the crowd, pulling him to go out, but just two steps away, the music suddenly stopped, and a tall naked man jumped onto the stage, his whole body painted like an acrobat. Body paint, with peacock tail feathers attached to the buttocks, it looks like a bird, only the key parts between the chest and the legs are covered with fluorescent scales.

"Tonight's big adventure has begun, my friends!" His voice was high-pitched and piercing, and Qiao Dongliang and Jack stopped involuntarily and looked towards the stage.The naked male host continued, "The ticket numbers of all of you were entered into the bar's system during ticket checking, and the system will randomly draw a pair of numbers. "

There was a coquettish whistle on the dance floor, and someone asked loudly: "What's the matter, is the chosen couple going to show it to everyone in public?"

Amidst the laughter, the host shook his head and said with a smile: "Of course not, we are a serious club. The theme of the game tonight is a big adventure. Those who are drawn to be the attacker can send the receivers to do a show at will. Any size, any form is fine! Unless it harms the body or hinders the dignity of life, the other party must accept it!"

Although it was a bit worse than public XXOO, it sounded quite interesting, and the voices on the dance floor were boiling.The grotesque band on the stage plucked their instruments and played a passionate interlude, and the host said loudly: "Okay! Let's start now, system, please draw out the first pair of CPs tonight!"

"Aww~ Let's take a look too!" Qiao Dongliang got excited and pulled Jack to stay. Jack had no choice but to stop and join in the fun with him.After a burst of rock music, the system projected a three-dimensional number above the stage, flashed, and another group appeared below.The host clapped his hands and said, "OK! Our system has already drawn the first lucky pair tonight. Next, please check your ticket numbers. Those who are drawn to attack please stand on stage!"

Everyone took out their tickets to redeem their numbers one after another. Qiao Dongliang looked around with blood on his face, waiting to see a good show. Jack deeply lamented that it was not easy to be a king. I watched it with gusto, my dear, how lack of entertainment do you have?

After a long time, still no one stood up, the host said again: "It seems that the first couple of CPs tonight are very shy, everyone, please give them a round of applause!"

Rhythmic applause started to sound, and Qiao Dongliang followed suit for a while, but he never saw anyone on stage, so he had an idea: Damn it can't be me, right? !I hurriedly took out my ticket and took a look, I'm so damned!

"I! I'm Gong!" Qiao Dongliang yelled out this sentence for the first time in more than 20 years, and suddenly felt that his life was happy. Regardless of Jack's obstruction, everyone separated all the way to the stage, waving tickets and said, "I, I! I It's an attack!"

Finally someone stood up, everyone breathed a sigh of relief, and began to boo again: "Shou? Don't pretend to be dead! Don't be cowardly, man!"

Five seconds later, the uncowardly Jack walked onto the stage with a dark face: "It's me!"

Ouch my mother!Qiao Dongliang's face turned into a chrysanthemum with a smile, and he rushed forward and dragged Jack to the center of the stage: "Ahahaha, I have it, I have it, it's my fault!"

Jack gave him a stiff look, endured it, and said nothing.

"Great!" Although the host felt that this was a bit too arrogant, but at least the first pair came up, which was a good start. He signaled to the band to play a cheerful cutscene, and said, "Okay, today Lucky Gongjun, what kind of show do you want your shoujun to perform?"

Qiao Dongliang laughed out loud, thought for a while and said, "Let him do a sexy dance for me!"